All Christians are Equal But Have Different Roles.

The New International Version Chapter 3

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

4 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

Opening illustration

How would you feel if someone other than your mum told you to clean your room. They came in, and didn’t actually do it, but they told you the right and wrong way of how to clean your room? Would you find that annoying? Would you find it helpful?

Well in Jesus’ day, the idea of looking after your house and ordering your family in a certain way was a big deal! Like a really big deal, more than it is today. Philosophers and Intellectuals would debate what the right way to order your family life is, kind of like if you two people came to your room and debated the best way to clean your wardrobe and the best way to make your bed.

It’s interesting, because today some people might say “you can’t tell me how to live my life” or “how dare you say that I have to do it this way instead of that way”.

But maybe it’s wise to listen to people, because perhaps.... one way is the VERY way that it was meant to be done.

Maybe it’s a good idea for you to listen to someone who gives you advice on how to clean your room.

But imagine if that advice came from God, the advice on how to order your family life came from God! How much more important would it be, to listen to?

Context

You see, in today’s passage as we continue our series in Paul’s letter to the Church in Colossians he is sharing God’s best way to order the family.

But I want to warn you, a few of the things here are a bit controversial in peoples minds today.

Context

Context (maybe leave out)

We’ve already heard that …

But the question we need to ask ourselves is, do we care more about God’s opinion or our friends opinion. What do you think? (Hear answers) Good! Well let’s hear what God’s opinion is!

… and

...

So imagine this, think of my friend 15 year old, Jimmy. He goes to a youth group, let’s call in Barny’s Youth, He’s so thankful for what Jesus has done for him that he has given his life to Jesus! Jimmy’s parents are also Christians. He learns that all Christians are equal in God’s sight!

So does that mean that when he goes home he can tell his parents, Mum and Dad, I’m the boss now. I’m equal with you, I am going to join you as another parent. I can do my own food shopping, drive the car, control the tv remote, spend the money.

That would be crazy right!

The thing is, even though we are all equal to God, he makes the world work in such a way where there should be an order to things. The order might seem strange at first, but it is quite a beautiful thing.

Main Body

Let’s have a look at the three pairs of people

1. Wives and Husbands.

The New International Version Chapter 3

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Paul explains the way that both husband and wife are to act as Christians in their home.

Submit - The Lord determines what is fitting or not. Some things may be culturally acceptable, but reflection on them “in the Lord” leads to the realization that they are unfit for a Christian. This qualification recasts the wife’s submission to her husband by turning it into allegiance shown to Christ

The Lord determines what is fitting or not. Some things may be culturally acceptable, but reflection on them “in the Lord” leads to the realization that they are unfit for a Christian. This qualification recasts the wife’s submission to her husband by turning it into allegiance shown to Christ

Love - Husbands are presented with a much more demanding task. (1) They are told to love their wives. This command reveals that Paul is not writing to prop up the authority and rights of husbands, which everyone took for granted. In Jesus’ day a marriage was not always grounded on love, it was a way for men and women to have respectable heirs to pass on their family name.

This command reveals that Paul is not writing to prop up the authority and rights of husbands, which everyone took for granted.

David E. Garland, Colossians and Philemon, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1998), 244.

One person called love in marriage, “a stroke of good fortune, and not the basis of marriage”

In Christian marriages! The man knows what it is like to be dearly loved by God, and marriage points forward to heaven, so he should show a similar love to his wife that God showed to him! Jesus’ love is so strong that he layed down his life for us, he died in our place.

Likewise, the husband should look after his wife and love her like Jesus loves us. Not to be harsh or violent like many men can be.

The Submit and Love go together. When the husband stops loving often the other person stops submitting and when the wife stops submitting often the husband stops loving. But it shouldn’t be that way. They should work together to glorify God in their marriage.

The New International Version Chapter 3

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

The New International Version Chapter 3

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

The New International Version Chapter 3

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

4 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

2. Children and Parents

The New International Version Chapter 3

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

The NIV Application Commentary: Colossians and Philemon Wives and Husbands (3:18–19)

In contrast to the commands to children and slaves, Paul does not tell wives to “obey” their husbands. In the commands to children and slaves, he uses the active imperative. The verb “submit” (hypotassesthe), however, is in the middle voice and can imply a voluntary submission. It makes the wife’s submission her willing choice, not some universal law that ordains masculine dominance.

We learnt last week that men and women who have put their faith in Jesus are all equals in God’s kingdom. Slaves and Non-slaves are also equal in God’s eyes. But how does this actually work in practice?

Think of my 15 year old friend, Jimmy. He goes to a youth group, let’s call in Barny’s Youth, in Barncliffe, He’s so thankful for what Jesus has done for him that he has given his life to Jesus!

Jimmy’s parents are also Christians.

He learns that all Christians are equal in God’s sight!

So does that mean that when he goes home he can tell his parents, “Mum and Dad, I’m the boss now. I’m equal with you, I am going to join you as another parent. I can do my own food shopping, drive the car, control the tv remote, spend the money. Because I’m equal with God to you in God’s eyes!”

Noooo! That would be crazy right!

The thing is, even though we are all equal to God, he makes the world work in such a way where there should be an order to things. The order might seem strange at first, but it is quite a beautiful thing.

So Children are to obey their parents, which means to listen to what they say and do what what they ask. Even when you don’t like it. It means doing your homework, making your bed, eating dinner at the time they ask. It means not doing, watching or playing certain things they ask you not to do, watch or play. That’s what it means to obey, to listen and do.

So what does God ask the parents to do? He asks them not to embitter their child, which means to have so many rules, so many demands that the child crumbles under the pressure. God wants parents to be gentle and reasonable with the expectations that they have for their child. Not making them to impossibly high, or easily too low. Because he knows that this will just discourage you.

But again, if your parents rules seem to hard, it doesn’t mean that you have a reason to disobey. Maybe go and tell them “Mum, Dad, I really want to obey you, but I find it really hard to do that when you …dot dot dot. Please can we talk about how we can agree on good expectations.” But always seek to respect and obey your parents, as that is how God wants it to be.

It’s important to realise there is a key difference between what the child does with the parent, and the wife does with the husband.

There is a key difference between what the child does with the parent, and the wife does with the husband.

The NIV Application Commentary: Colossians and Philemon Wives and Husbands (3:18–19)

In contrast to the commands to children and slaves, Paul does not tell wives to “obey” their husbands. In the commands to children and slaves, he uses the active imperative. The verb “submit” (hypotassesthe), however, is in the middle voice and can imply a voluntary submission. It makes the wife’s submission her willing choice, not some universal law that ordains masculine dominance.

Paul does not tell wives to “obey” their husbands. In the commands to children and slaves, he uses the word obey which is a word that means, do it even if you don’t want to. The word “submit” , however, the word submit is used to show a voluntary submission. It makes the wife’s submission her willing choice, not some universal law that requires that husbands always be in charge and dominant, but rather that they work together and agree that that wife will submit to the husband, to excercise their different roles.

The third group is ...

3. Slaves and Masters

3. Slaves and Masters

You might wonder why this is such a large section, well it’s because Paul actually knew of a slave named Onesimus who ran away from a guy named Philemon. Turn to your contents page, can you see the word Philemon in there? It is in the second half of the new testament, before Hebrews. Paul asked Philemon to give Onesimus his freedom. And so some people thought that Paul encouraged slaves to not listen to their master. But here he is correcting that.

The New International Version Chapter 3

22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

4 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

I won’t spend much time explaining this with the time we have, but a good way to think about this is with Workers and Managers. God wants workers to respect their mangers, and he wants masters to be right and fair to their workers. All of this is because really they are both working for God. Becoming a Christian does not cancel our need to respect our authorities. That means that if you have a job, you should work hard in it, try to give your manager the best value for the money he is paying you. Respect them, be polite and hard working. Because ultimately you might be the only christian they have ever had working for them. Be a great ambassador for Christ while you work.

Becoming a Christian does not cancel our need to respect our authorities. But actually it should help us want to respect others even more! Christians have reason to respect authorities and be thankful for them as we know that God has put them in charge over us.

Application

Application

How does this passage change the way that we live in world?

I think it does two things, to us. One thing to our head, and another to our heart.

Head -

We need to Re-adjust your view of God’s order in the world.

Many people think that they get to choose how marriage works, or how to parent, or how to act at work. But actually the best place to find the answers of how to be successful in those situations is by following God’s order.

Fight the peer pressure that you face to see marriage as between two men and two women. Fight the peer pressure to disobey your parents. Fight the peer pressure to be lazy at work. Let god’s order shape the way you speak and act in your family and at home.

Heart - Stand up for God’s Order in the World.

It’s a fascinating passage this, it can be hard to swallow. But God has given us a great structure order to our families and work by, you will avoid a lot of hard lessons in life if you stick to this.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

Let’s pray that Jesus can help us to do this.