Raising Disciples

intro-

Depending on which book you read, and which research firm you trust, studies show that the church loses 70-90% of young people when they go off to college.

There are a couple things I would like to mention specifically about this.

We aren’t losing or retaining kids when they go off to college. We are losing or retaining them while they are still at home

Ken Ham wrote a book a few years ago that hits the nail on the head, It is titled “Already Gone”- It points to the fact that we don’t lose kids when they leave, but that there are kids who are present physically, but have already left mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Christian colleges can help keep young people faithful, as can campus ministries at secular schools, church camps, youth activities... However, the biggest determining factor in kids remaining faithful when they leave home is whether or not they were ever really a disciple to begin with.

The average statistics do not hold true in recent years with NW kids. 80-90% of our young people in recent years are remaining faithful.

I don’t know about you but that excites me. In recent years the youth at NW are remaining faithful at a much higher rate than most… That being said, we can always do better.

What I’ve seen in over a decade is this. Sometimes parents can be so consumed with raising good kids that they forget that they need to be raising disciples.

Symptomatic parenting- “Kid is struggling with alcohol, we tell them not to drink, Kid wants to wear clothing that they shouldn’t we tell them to stop, Kid wants to hang out with the wrong crowd in places they shouldn’t be in, we tell them why it’s a bad idea.”- When our parenting becomes reactionary instead of intentionally focused, we have lost our vision. (ill- Guy in the gym who would blare music in headphones and take tylenol for his headache.) Sometimes in our parenting, we are just treating a symptom instead of addressing a problem. our parenting must be more than behavior modification.

We are not likely to get the right outcome if we have the wrong goals. Too often parents/churches fall into the trap of wanting to raise good kids, and we forget that we need to be raising disciples.

How can we better raise up disciples while our children are still with us?

We teach them to count the cost .

We teach them to count the cost.

- Great crowds were accompanying Jesus. He was on His way to Jerusalem. The crowds who followed Him thought He was on His way to power in an empire when in reality, He was on His way to the cross.

I think it is important to note, that these crowds were followers of Jesus, but they were not disciples. They hadn’t counted the cost. If we are raising followers of Jesus, who hang around in the area where Jesus is but they are not counting the cost, we might be raising good kids, but we aren’t raising disciples.

One thing that I have heard parents say is that they are fearful that their children will resent the church if…

If following Jesus isn’t costing your child anything, chances are they are mere followers and not disciples.

We need to teach them that...

Surrender and sacrifice is required.

Luke 14:27 ESV

27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.

One thing that I have heard parents say is that they are fearful that their children will resent the church if…

They miss a practice or a game to attend worship

They miss an event because there are some negative elements that we don’t want them exposed to...

But we do not apply this logic in matters of safety:

I don’t want my child to resent me or the family, so Im not going to make them wear a seat belt, eat something other than sugar.

My son, got his first pocket knife two years ago… I made the blade dull, and I keep it locked up in my room. He really wanted to be able to keep it. How good of a parent would I be if I told my then 5 year old, “I don’t want you to resent me, you can keep your sharp knife and play with it unsupervised?” - Yet, this is exactly the response of many parents when it comes to the most important thing in their child’s life.

If following Jesus isn’t costing your child anything, chances are they are mere followers and not disciples.

Jesus is speaking to this group of people who were following Him but they had not given a lot of thought to what that meant

If following Jesus isn’t costing your child anything, chances are they are mere followers and not disciples.

He told them they needed to bear their own cross. Not just that some of them needed to bear a cross, but each one. Parents, ask yourself what cross is your child bearing for Christ. If they are too young, ask yourself, what cross am I preparing them to bear?

We know that we don’t face the same persecution that we read about in scripture, but if following Jesus isn’t costing your or your child something, they are not His disciple

Being made fun of

missing events due to church conflict/ or because the event is questionable

Giving of their own money

giving a week of their summer for campaign

working for the church, if they are in Christ, they have responsibilities

If they are not willing to make these small sacrifices as they grow up into Christ, why would we think they will dedicate their lives to Him?

No relationship compares to the one you have with Jesus.

No relationship compares to the one you have with Jesus.

Luke 14:26 ESV

26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

One of the hardest things about being a young person and a Christian is peer pressure and wanting to be liked.

If we are honest, this is not just a “young person’s problem”.

If doing something, attending an event, hanging out with a friend is in conflict with

It becomes easier when you realize the relationship you are to have with Christ isn’t out of duty, but out of love.

It is never ok to quit .

I would imagine that every child who has played sports have been taught not to quit.

I’ve been helping coach Jagger’s football team this year. I find myself saying the same things that were told to me, “shake it off” “walk it off” “suck it up” “If a bone isn’t sticking out, you’re still playing”- Comforting words…

We understand that it is important to teach our children to work hard and to never quit… Why is it that sometimes we do not apply that exact same message to their faith?

Luke 14:29–30 ESV

29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’

It doesn’t matter what my children or your children do or have done for the Lord and the church… If they quit, they have lost, and we have failed.

One of the biggest reasons why teenagers disconnect from their faith is because they perceive faith as being disconnected from their parents .

Parents not making sacrifices for their own faith (If you want your children to resent the church, make them make sacrifices, but you don’t make any yourself. When they see you sacrifice for your faith, they will see that it is real)

(Parents make time for family time, sporting events, entertainment, television, friends, but not making time to study the Word together.)

We stated earlier that NW kids are remaining faithful at a much higher rate than the average. One of the ways that the elders and myself have identified that we can help improve upon it is start having family nights once a month

Family Night is one Sunday every month that instead of having a teen devo, parents will be asked to study the word with their kids. If their kids are very young or almost out of high school, this is designed for you.

On each family night (beginning next month) either myself or Garrett will preach and provide for you some passages and discussion questions/ways to apply the lesson for you to go home and discuss together.

By doing this, we help engage the family in study together, growing together, working together, discipling each other.

Conclusion- Two challenging questions for us, #1. Is your faith costing you something? #2. Parents, are you intentionally directing your child’s heart to the Word? It is not too late to start… Start now. If we can help your family, please let us know.