Exhort or Extort: Be a Barnabas!

Have you ever noticed how often, it’s the little things that make a such a huge difference in a situation? That is, the little nuances in the decor of your home that just make it pop! Or, maybe it’s the small changes to the way that you do your hair, that make people look and take a second glance and say, “Wow, you look different!” To the mechanic, it could be the small adjustment to the carburetor that means all of the difference in the world as to how the car runs and performs!

In a marriage, it is sometimes the small acts of love that make the difference, like picking up the dishes and washing them without being asked, or an unexpected date night for your spouse, or an unexpected text message that simply reads, “I love you”!

My point is, the smallest change to something can dramatically alter the outcome and course of things.

Take for instance the changing of one letter in a word and the outcome of it.

Changing one letter is SMALL, and yet it DRAMATICALLY alters the outcome of the meaning!

SHOW SLIDES OF MISSPELLED WORDS!

My point being, just one small change in a word can make all of the difference in the world.

Having said this, there are two words that I wanted to bring to your attention right now.

These two words are like the examples that I just showed you, in that there is a one letter spelling difference between them. But with this one letter difference, we see a world of difference in their meaning.

The two words are: EXHORT and EXTORT! (SHOW SLIDE!)

Almost identical words, with just one letter difference between the two: an “H” and a “T”.

The difference between these words and how we apply them to our lives as people, and even more so, to our lives as Christians, has a huge impact upon the world around us!

What is the major difference between EXHORT and EXTORT?

Well, let’s look at the definition of EXTORT first.

EXTORT means - to obtain something such as money or favor in an unfair way, such as through intimidation, threat of force or threat of revealing an unpleasant secret. Extort comes from the Latin word extortus, meaning obtain by force, wrench out.

EXHORT means - means to forcefully urge a person to do something, to strongly advise someone. Exhort comes from the Latin word exhortari, which means to encourage, to stimulate.

So, one word basically means to take away something from someone to your advantage and their disadvantage and the other word means to give, or to impart something to someone that is of benefit to that other person, to their advantage.

Now I am paraphrasing these definitions, but this is still an adequate meaning of these two words. Does everyone semi-agree with this?

Which one would you rather be brought before a grand jury with pending charges against you of: being an EXTORTIONER, or an EXHORTER?

I don’t think that any logical, morally sound person would like the accusation of having EXTORTED from someone, right?

However, I would love to be accused of having EXHORTED someone! AMEN?!!!!!!

I started off a couple of minutes ago talking about how the little things in life can make such a big difference, like these two small and seemingly similar in appearance words (EXHORT and EXTORT) and the manner in which we use them in interacting with people every day.

Though there is a very small change between them in appearance, the chasm between them in outcomes is huge!

Let me explain what I mean. The “spoken word” is small in gesture, but powerful in stature. Your words, though seemingly insignificant, can influence the hearts and feelings of others. Words can make or break a marriage, they can both start and end world wars, they can conquer fear in a person’s heart or they can also instill fear into someone’s heart.

A simple “yes” or “no” uttered from our mouth, a one syllable utterance, can either devastate a person’s life or deliver a person from misery and shame!

The tongue is small, but oh so powerful!

tells us this, “And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind,but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.”

The point here is that, although small, the tongue and its bi-product, “our words”, are either destructive or edifying and blessing.

There cannot “truly” be both types of words coming from the same mouth, and they both be genuine.

“From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks!”

, tells us, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”

We get to choose whether we want to impart blessings or curses upon others, every single day! And simply from the words that we spew out upon them!

So, the two words that I just defined, EXTORT and EXHORT, factor in here.

If you are angry at someone and the chance arises for you to speak with them, you can either exhort them and bless them with encouragement and add value to their life, or you can extort their happiness and peace and self-worth, by verbally blasting them.

Much in the same as you would extort money from someone, by force or manipulation, you can extort a person’s peace and self-worth, by what you say to them and the intent behind it.

Now you may think, “Well that’s stupid, if you EXTORT money from someone, you go after that person with the intent of getting their money. You can’t EXTORT, or go after someone’s self-worth and happiness!”

Look here, when you verbally unleash on someone, what is your intent? You want to hurt them, to make them pay, to tear them down. (i.e. you are going after their self-worth, their happiness, their joy, with the intent of taking it from them. You are EXTORTING it from them and using your words as the means to manipulate and do so!)

You either EXHORT (build up/ add to) self worth of someone, with your words, or you EXTORT (take away/ tear down) self worth of someone with your words.

Blessings or curses, life or death, are yours to bring, via your words.

Does everyone see what I am saying so far, when talking about these two words?

OK, then I am going to spend the rest of the time, looking at the one word which has Kingdom value and which the Bible commends and commands us to adhere to.

When I defined EXHORT a minute ago, one of the words used, that is synonymous with it, is the word, ENCOURAGE.

So, to EXHORT someone, is to ENCOURAGE someone, capiche?

How many of you know that we live in a world that needs, or maybe I should say, that is screaming for encouragement?

Look around you at all of the places you go shop and eat at. You see brokenness and despair and anger in people’s faces all of the time.

People are devoid of true spiritual encouragement everywhere that you and I go. (Sadly enough, even in churches sometimes, we see this emptiness!)

Simply choosing to speak a small, but powerful word of encouragement to another person, can be life changing at times.

People, even if they do not acknowledge it to you at the time, do not forget what you say to them.

Our minds retain words, whether good or bad.

The inspirational writer, William Arthur Ward once said, “Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you.”

The inspirational writer, William Arthur Ward once said, “Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you.”

By nature, we invite and appreciate words of encouragement. God designed us that way.

This is why the Bible tells that we need to come together as a church, as says,

Hebrews 10:23–25 ESV

23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

When we come together ,as Christians, we are to build up one another, to ENCOURAGE one another, to EXHORT one another! And in doing so, the body of Christ grows stronger and the gospel message goes forth with strength and clarity!

By the way, without going into it right now, EXHORTATION (the act of encouraging and building up others), is one of the motivational spiritual gifts that Holy Spirit gives to certain people, as we see in ,

Romans 12:6–8 NLT

6 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. 7 If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. 8 If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

This simply means that the people who operate in this gift, naturally know how to build up and encourage those around them, because Holy Spirit equips them to do so.

But, this does not mean that only these people are to encourage others. WE ARE ALL TO ENCOURAGE those around us, even if we are not the Spiritually gifted, exhorting person!

God’s Word tells us in ,

1 Thessalonians 5:11–13 ESV

11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 12 We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, 13 and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.

1 Thessalonians 5:11–14 ESV

11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 12 We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, 13 and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. 14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

Twice in this passage, Paul says to the church, to ENCOURAGE one another.

Note that he doesn’t say, “If you are gifted in exhortation, encourage one another!”

says,

Hebrews 3:13 ESV

13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Exhort/encourage each other, TODAY, while you have the chance to do so. It should become habitual for the believer.

Have you ever noticed, at a funeral service, people sometimes make statements like, “I sure hope that he/she knew how much I loved them”, or “I just never said to them often enough, how much their friendship meant to me.”

WHY? Why do we not say these things to people, regularly? Why do we wait until they have left this earth and then lament and grieve over our lack of encouraging one another?!

Encouraging one another, according to this passage, can help to prevent sin from deceiving someone and hardening their heart against God, into dis-belief and apostasy.

Basically, when you encourage a struggling brother/sister with words that build them up (not condoning their sin), but words that re-enforce who they are in Christ Jesus and that they are not alone and that Holy Spirit will guide them through their struggle, then this helps to prevent their heart from becoming hardened, due to the effect of the sin and condemnation!

Listen folks. we were created by our Father to work more efficiently and effectively under encouragement.

Psychology, through MRI technology, has PROVEN that heightened prefrontal activity, (this front section of the brain), which is associated with positive emotions, enhances mental abilities such as “creative thinking, cognitive flexibility, and the processing of information.” The left prefrontal area of our brains, which lights up with activity when we’re in a positive mood, is also associated with reminding us of the good feelings we’ll have when we reach a long-term goal.

In other words, when other people speak positive words, reassuring words, ENCOURAGING WORDS over you and I, our brain lights up like a Christmas tree and starts producing much more effective outcomes.

Parents, please take note, if you discipline a child (and you should), always make sure that the end result of the punishment, is not condemnation and shame.

Make sure that they know why the discipline was administered, but then follow up the process with letting them know that you love them and you want the best for them and re-enforce how smart and how talented they are, etc.

The reason being, if all that hear are words of condemnation and shame, then that is what their brain functions off of and the motivational centers are impaired.

God designed the human brain to work at an optimal level through the re-enforcement of encouragement! THIS IS WHY WE NEED ONE ANOTHER AS CHRISTIANS!

We are to use our spiritual gifts and words of encouragement, to build up the body of Christ. Church should not be the last place you would want to go when you are beat down.

Christians are not to walk around gloomy! WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM WHO LOVES US!

Listen up people, WE WIN! That is how the Bible ends. If an eternity in heaven with Jesus is what lies ahead of you and you know this and are CONFIDENT about it............what in the world do you have to be gloomy about?

A GLOOMY CHRISTIAN IS NOT AN ACCURATE DEPICTION OF THE KINGDOM!

SHOW PIC OF “DROOPY”

THERE ARE TO BE NO DROOPY the DOG CHRISTIANS in the KINGDOM!

SHOW PIC OF

says,

Proverbs 27:17 NLT

17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Everyone say that verse with me. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

We are to build up one another! (PLEASE NOTE: It is NOT everyone else’s job to keep you built up in your most holy faith! This come also from intimate time spent with the Lord in the word and in prayer! DO NOT BECOME A SPIRITUAL VAMPIRE AND SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF OTHERS!)

Zig Ziglar used to tell a story about how Belgian horses are trained to work together—and how it made these incredible animals so much more effective.

Belgian horses are huge, powerful animals. In fact, one Belgian can pull more than 8,000 pounds. That’s one strong horse!

The weird thing, though, is that if you put two Belgian horses together who are strangers, they don’t just double the amount they can pull to 16,000 pounds; they actually triple it to 24,000 pounds. And if you spend some time training them to work together, that unified pair can pull a whopping 32,000 pounds.

That’s four times what a single horse can do alone!

When we come together, in fellowship and give thanks to our great God and savior, and we enter into worship of His name, the atmosphere changes!

And when you and I build one another up it strengthens and recharges us to go back out into the world and do the same for others.

DESIRAE does an amazing job of this in our home, as my wife and my best friend. She encourages me and builds me up, when others try to tear me down.

Just make sure that you know, that what you are saying to someone is encouraging and edifying.

NOT ENCOURAGING

A young couple, very much in love, were getting married in church. However, the bride was very nervous about the big occasion and so the preacher chose one verse that he felt would be a great encouragement to them. The verse was which says: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear."

The preacher asked the best man to read it during the ceremony. The preacher did not know the best man was not a regular churchgoer and did not know the difference between the Gospel of John and the First Letter of John.

During the service the best man introduced the reading by saying that the preacher felt this was a very good verse for the bride and that he would say more about it later in the service and then read , which says:

"The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband."

The preacher wanted to encourage the couple. His attempt went very wrong.

Let me give you a perfect example of encouraging one another from the Bible this morning. Who do we give credit to in the Bible, for writing a large portion of the New Testament and starting a large portion of the churches as found within the New Testament?

Paul, right? Paul became a force to reckoned with, after his Damascus Road encounter with Jesus.

But we must remember, it didn’t start out this way. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

In the book of , the Bible tells us that after his conversion and initial sharing of the gospels, he tried to pair up with the disciples and this is what happened: “And when he had come to Jerusalem, he attempted to join the disciples. And they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple.”

No one trusted him and wanted to spend any time with him! (It would be like if a known terrorist had come to know Christ and then showed up at your Bible study!)

But then something amazing happens, that we see in the very next couple of verses of chapter 9, as verses 27-28 tells us, “Then Barnabas brought him to the apostles and told them how Saul had seen the Lord on the way to Damascus and how the Lord had spoken to Saul. He also told them that Saul had preached boldly in the name of Jesus in Damascus. So Saul stayed with the apostles and went all around Jerusalem with them, preaching boldly in the name of the Lord.”

So Saul stayed with the apostles and went all around Jerusalem with them, preaching boldly in the name of the Lord.”

So, Barnabas shows up and encourages Saul and the other believers and brings them together for the good of the church and the equipping of the saints!

WHO IN THIS WORLD WAS BARNABAS?

Look back in ,

Acts 4:34–37 NLT

34 There were no needy people among them, because those who owned land or houses would sell them 35 and bring the money to the apostles to give to those in need. 36 For instance, there was Joseph, the one the apostles nicknamed Barnabas (which means “Son of Encouragement”). He was from the tribe of Levi and came from the island of Cyprus. 37 He sold a field he owned and brought the money to the apostles.

So, here comes this guys out of nowhere onto the Biblical scene and changes the course of Biblical history!

I mean stop and think for a second about what “Joseph”, actually did.

If you noticed in that passage, Joseph was his real name, not “BARNABAS”.

They gave him the nickname, BARNABAS, because it means, “Son of ENCOURAGEMENT”!

Can you imagine what being around this guy must have been like?!

They actually nicknamed him “son of encouragement”, because he was so charismatic and encouraging to others!

What do people say about you and I after being around us for very long?

I know for me personally, in my PAST life when I was living

What “nicknames” do you think they ascribe to us?

Death and life, blessings and curses are ours to wield out of our mouths!

Barnabas doesn’t end there, however by showing up on the scene and leading Saul into the graces of the other believers...........no, no, no, far from it!

In , we find that the spreading of gospel message, had reached the gentiles in Antioch of Syria (it was spreading like a wildfire............AS IT SHOULD!)

What do the believers in Jerusalem do, upon hearing this news? Look at ,

Acts 11:22–24 NLT

22 When the church at Jerusalem heard what had happened, they sent Barnabas to Antioch. 23 When he arrived and saw this evidence of God’s blessing, he was filled with joy, and he encouraged the believers to stay true to the Lord. 24 Barnabas was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and strong in faith. And many people were brought to the Lord.

ELABORATE ON THE VERSE AS TO POINTS THERE!

The next couple of verses are crucial for the ministry of and spiritual life of Saul of Tarsus.

tells us this,

Acts 11:24–26 NLT

24 Barnabas was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and strong in faith. And many people were brought to the Lord. 25 Then Barnabas went on to Tarsus to look for Saul. 26 When he found him, he brought him back to Antioch. Both of them stayed there with the church for a full year, teaching large crowds of people. (It was at Antioch that the believers were first called Christians.)

Acts 11:25–26 NLT

25 Then Barnabas went on to Tarsus to look for Saul. 26 When he found him, he brought him back to Antioch. Both of them stayed there with the church for a full year, teaching large crowds of people. (It was at Antioch that the believers were first called Christians.)

Barnabas, the encourager, goes after Saul and brings him with him and plugs him into active ministry and ignites Saul’s spiritual fire!

Up until this point, believers in Jesus the Christ, were known as, “followers of the WAY”. Now, because of the HUGE impact of the work of Barnabas and Saul in that area and the great and mighty works of the Christ through them, believers were first and forever nicknamed, “CHRISTIANS”! (Follower of Christ!)

Now stay with me for a minute longer as I show the great heart and conviction of this man, JOSEPH, known as the “son of encouragement”.

By the time we get into , Barnabas and Saul’s work together, was ordained and set aside by the Lord, Himself, as we see in ,

Acts 13:1–2 NLT

1 Among the prophets and teachers of the church at Antioch of Syria were Barnabas, Simeon (called “the black man”), Lucius (from Cyrene), Manaen (the childhood companion of King Herod Antipas), and Saul. 2 One day as these men were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Appoint Barnabas and Saul for the special work to which I have called them.”

Acts 13:1–3 NLT

1 Among the prophets and teachers of the church at Antioch of Syria were Barnabas, Simeon (called “the black man”), Lucius (from Cyrene), Manaen (the childhood companion of King Herod Antipas), and Saul. 2 One day as these men were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Appoint Barnabas and Saul for the special work to which I have called them.” 3 So after more fasting and prayer, the men laid their hands on them and sent them on their way.

So off they go to minister to the gentile nations, Barnabas and PAUL! (Up until this point, he is referred to by Saul and now it says that he is known by his other Greek name, PAUL, which stays with him, the rest of the Bible.)

So, we are seeing changes begin to take place, as Paul is growing spiritually and under the ENCOURAGEMENT of Barnabas.

And up until this point, the order of the two of them was always, BARNABAS and SAUL, (you see, the order in which names were ascribed, would often be given to show rank or age), but now, starting in , we see,

Acts 13:13 NLT

13 Paul and his companions then left Paphos by ship for Pamphylia, landing at the port town of Perga. There John Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem.

Paul was now beginning to take over in the ministry, as was his gifting and calling to be the great Apostle of God to the gentiles.

Barnabas, being filled with Holy Spirit, operated in humility and love for his spiritual brother Paul, and did not become prideful and spiteful against Paul.

And it was Barnabas who took John Mark under his wing, after a falling out that caused John Mark to walk away from his role in serving alongside of Paul and Barnabas.

This incident eventually produced separation between the team of Paul and Barnabas, but it was for the good of the ministry and the restoration of John Mark, as we see in and then finally in , where Paul writes his final letter to Timothy and says, “Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.”

Barnabas served the Lord for the sole purpose of growing the kingdom and he ENCOURAGED everyone, everywhere that he went.

Today, I ask you, what is your mark in the kingdom that you are leaving? Are you an EXHORTER or an EXTORTER?

Do you build up and encourage others with your words, or do you dismantle others and tear them down?