Say Bye to Bae

How to Ruin Your Life!  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  16:45
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No one plans to be divorced by 27, but the patterns we have in sixth grade will ultimately affect how we live as an adult. The way that you live your life right now creates the foundation for how you’ll live tomorrow.
Tonight I’m going to be talking about seven qualities of a bad dating relationship. Four of those qualities have to deal with the person you’re dating, and if they possess one or more of these four, then you may find yourself in a situation where you have to say bye to bae. Three of the qualities we’re talking about tonight have to do with you. If you posses one or more of these, you may not be the ideal date, and not only that, but you may not be ready to start dating!
God created us to be creatures that thrived in relationships. Even all the way back to Adam/Eve. Even the quietest, most introverted people have relationships in our lives. For most of us, we will spend our lives being married to someone. Dating is like the dress rehearsal for marriage. It’s so important we get this right. The Relationship habits we form when we date can have real affects on life with your soul-mate.
Here are 7 signs that’s time to break-up with BAE.

1. You’re dating someone your parents hate.

They probably have a reason for it besides just being irrationally protective.
1) They dated someone just like the person you’re dating, and they know the relationship will end worse than a Taylor Swift song. 2) They see themselves in that person. They might have acted just like the person you’re dating at some point in their lives.
value your parents’ judgement!

2. You’re dating someone with no future.

Won’t even plan about their future. Lazy. Last to do anything. Even getting them to text you once feels like an accomplishment.
Proverbs 10:26 NIV
As vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so are sluggards to those who send them.
You’re just setting yourself up for frustration.

3. You’re dating someone with no boundaries.

Let me just say cold turkey: sex needs to be off the table when it comes to dating.
It doesn’t matter if you’re 13 or 30, in God’s eyes it’s a big deal. Don’t get me wrong, sex is a good thing, but God designed sex to be expressed within the confines of marriage. But when I talk about boundaries, sex isn’t the only boundary. In fact, just because you’re a virgin does not mean that you’re pure.
When it comes to purity, it’s not about how far is too far. Purity is about how much of yourself do you want to give to your future spouse. That sounds ridiculous to think about right now, but someday when you get married you will have to tell your spouse how much of yourself you’ve given to others, and how much you’ve saved for them.
Boundaries you need to set for dating:
Ask your parents for dating boundaries.
Listen to God’s word 2 Timothy 2:22 - flee temptation. Don’t encourage it in your relationship.
Don’t be alone!
Remember, purity is not about “How far is too far?” but about “how much will I save for my spouse?”

4. You’re dating someone who mistreats you.

You won’t believe how common this actually is. Guys and girls both want to be in relationships, so we’re willing to make ridiculous sacrifices. You put up with scumbags that don’t deserve you. They cheat, they are mean, manipulative, selfish, liars!
That’s not a good dating relationship.
So if dating is the game, then marriage is winning the game!
Matthew 19:5–6 CSB
and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Your goal is find the person whom you can see yourself with for the rest of your lives!
If you’re a guy, you need to seek someone who is worth pursuing for the rest of your life. If you’re a girl, you need to find a guy who will try to outdo you in love and honor.

5. You’re dating without a Q-TIP.

So those were four bad characteristics to look out for in people you might date. Now it’s time to figure out if you are datable. So sign number one that you are not, is this: you date without a Q-TIP.
No, this has nothing to do with personal hygiene. Q-TIP is an acronym that stands for: “Quit taking it personally.” Cute, right? Q-TIP is a way of life that you have to choose.
The patterns you set now will impact your marriage in the future. No one plans to be divorced at age 30, but when people can’t learn to Q-TIP, it can lead to a toxic relationship.

6. You’re “dating for experience.”

The next sign that you’re not ready to date is if you’re “dating for experience.” The person who dates for experience is the person who is dating because everyone else is dating. This person may not think this way of thinking is destructive, but, like I mentioned earlier, when you get married you have to spill the beans on your past. “Don’t worry honey, I only dated her for the experience.” Imagine saying that to your spouse.
There is a time to start dating, and it’s not when you just want the experience. The time to date is when you’re ready to look for your future spouse. You should never date someone you would never marry, because the ultimate experience isn’t in dating but the marriage itself. This may sound extreme, but if you wait to date until you’re ready to get married, you’ll save yourself, the people you date, and your future spouse a ton of heartbreak.

7. You’re dating to feel complete.

But dating to feel complete is slightly different. The person who is dating to feel complete is only happy when they’re in a relationship. When they’re not in a relationship, they are miserable. It doesn’t matter if the person they’re dating is a total jerk; they just want to be in a relationship.
Like I said earlier, God has wired you to desire relationships. God wants us to find that special someone, and the verse about Adam pursuing Eve showed us that. But if you really analyze the relationship between Adam and Eve, it was not made up of two people becoming one. It was actually made up of three people becoming one. The missing ingredient to their special sauce was God. Adam and Eve had a personal relationship with the Creator that sealed the deal on them being together. When God was in the mix, their relationship was perfect. When they kicked him out, they quickly forgot how to Q-TIP.
Do you want to have a great dating relationship? Then you need to know that a person can’t complete you. Matthew 6:33 says that when we pursue God like a husband and wife pursue each other, the rest of the things we once desired seem boring and mediocre.
____
Is dating wrong? No. But it does have a time and a season, and most of you are not in that season because you need a relationship with God that will give you hope for your future. Dating leads to some beautiful things, but first you need to be someone who is worth the pursuit, and you need to find someone who is worthy to go on that adventure with you. The relationship habits we form when we date can have real affects on life with your soul-mate.
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