What Does Love Require of Me?
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Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
What Does Love Require of Me?
What Does Love Require of Me?
As a pastor, I often get asked a q particular question from time to time. “Is ________ a sin?” If we are not careful, we can be tempted to snuggle up as close to sin as possible without actually sinning. In this sermon, I want to suggest an alternative question.
A better question.
It’s a question that introduces inescapable clarity to just about every moral, ethical, and relational decision we will bump up against. This question takes us to the heart of Jesus’ new covenant command—the standard by which we are to evaluate our behavior, conversations, and attitudes. Here it is:
What does love require of me?
This clarifying but terrifying question should stand guard over our consciences. It should serve as guide, signpost, and compass as we navigate the complexities of our cultural contexts. It should inform how we date, parent, boss, manage, and coach. It should form a perimeter around what I say and do in my role as husband, pastor, and neighbor.
This question gives voice to the new covenant on issues where our New Testament is silent. It fills the gaps with disquieting precision. It succeeds where concordances fail. It quashes the insipid justification, But the Bible doesn’t say there’s anything wrong with ______. It closes loopholes. It exposes our hypocrisy. It stands as judge and jury. It’s so simple. But it’s so inescapably demanding.
There are many things the New Testament doesn’t specifically or directly address. That shouldn’t surprise or concern us. Why? Jesus’ overarching ethic of love intersects with every imaginable scenario. New covenant people don’t begin or end with the question: What does the Bible say about . . .? New covenant people begin with a better question:
What does God’s love for me require of me?
Remember, for the first two hundred-plus years, the church had no The Bible. Sacred documents? Yes. Officially sanctioned Christian Scripture? Not yet. In the beginning, new covenant folks took their cues from Jesus’ new command. The command they had “from the beginning.”1 Everything flowed from and reflected that one overarching idea. When teaching this content, I often ask the audience to commit the following to memory:
WHEN UNSURE OF WHAT TO SAY OR DO,
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 233). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 233). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 234). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
ASK WHAT LOVE REQUIRES OF YOU.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 234). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
The commands scattered throughout our New Testament answer the question, What does love require of me? New Testament imperatives are examples of how to love others as God in Christ has loved us.
New Testament imperatives are there for the benefit of the one-anothers around us. They illustrate what love for others looks like. They clarify what’s required of those who have embraced the new covenant and the new covenant command. Again, Paul, Peter, James, and John did not add to Jesus’ “new command.” They applied it.
THE NEW WHY
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 234). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Jesus’ new command obligates us to wrestle with this new and better question. But it does something else as well. His new command provides us with a new and better answer to an old question.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 234). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 234). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Jesus’ new covenant command forces us to upgrade our answer to the question Why? Why obey? Why submit? Why surrender?
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 234). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
With the inauguration of the new covenant, why would no longer be associated with appeasing God or purging property. Jesus followers aren’t instructed to obey in order to gain something from God. We obey in light of what we’ve already been given.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 234). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
The New Testament, new covenant answer to why is always:
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 235). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
That’s what love requires of me because that’s what’s best for them.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (pp. 235-236). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
New covenant obedience is always connected to a who. Often, the who beside you. The old covenant why centered on doing right by God. The new covenant why centers on doing right by your neighbor. Or your parents.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 236). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
If you were doing a Q&A with a group of thirty high school students, how would you answer the following three questions?
• Why is lying a sin?
• What’s the big deal about gossiping?
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 236). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
• Why do Christians think it’s wrong to have sex before marriage?
Quick, what’s your first response to those questions? What’s your go-to why? If your go-to answer to the question why begins with “The Bible says” or “The Scripture teaches,” I understand. But consider this: Christians don’t “not lie” because the Bible says not to lie. Christians were not lying long before there was a The Bible. Christians were committed to truth-telling before there were universally recognized Christian Scriptures. Christians are not anti-lie because the Ten Commandments forbid it. The Ten Commandments are part of God’s covenant with Israel. As we’ve seen, Paul warned us in the sternest language imaginable that if we adopt part of the law, we are obligated to all of it.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 236). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
says not to lie. Christians were not lying long before there was a The Bible. Christians were committed to truth-telling before there were universally recognized Christian Scriptures. Christians are not anti-lie because the Ten Commandments forbid it. The Ten Commandments are part of God’s covenant with Israel. As we’ve seen, Paul warned us in the sternest language imaginable that if we adopt part of the law, we are obligated to all of it.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 236). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 236). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
What’s true for lying holds true for gossiping, adultery, stealing, and premarital sex as well. Christians have declared these things off-limits as far back as the first century, hundreds of years before the canon was established and our Bible was assembled. So how would you respond to a seventeen-year-old who wants to know why he shouldn’t lie to a teacher or his parents? While you’re pondering that, ponder this.
First-century Christians developed a reputation for taking in and caring for abandoned babies. Infanticide was not only legal in the Roman Empire, in certain circumstances it was considered an obligation. Case in point, Emperor Claudius famously forced his wife Urgulanilla to abandon a baby daughter she conceived with a freed slave. Exposure, as it was sometimes referred to, was not considered murder since technically the child had some chance of survival. If the fates chose for a child to survive, so be it. The fates decided. Parents were guiltless. It was common practice for mothers to abandon their newborns on the banks of a river, on the edge of a forest, or outside the protective walls of a village. Babies were left to starve, freeze, or be eaten by wild animals.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (pp. 236-237). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Babies were abandoned for a variety of reasons, including birth defects, suspicion of infidelity, economics, and, as is the case in parts of the world today, gender. A letter dating from some time in the first century illustrates the detached indifference many in Rome had toward newborns. We don’t know who wrote this letter. It appears to be sent by a husband to his wife while he was away on a work assignment:
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 237). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
I am still in Alexandria . . . I beg and plead with you to take care of our little child, and as soon as we receive wages, I will send them to you. In the meantime, if (good fortune to you!) you give birth, if it is a boy, let it live; if it is a girl, expose it.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 237). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
No discussion. No wait till I get home and we’ll decide. If it’s a girl, expose—not her—but “it.”
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 237). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 237). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Christians rejected and condemned infanticide from the beginning. The Didache, a first-century Christian handbook of sorts, states, “You shall not kill that which is born.” This sentiment was echoed by church fathers and apologists. But early Christians took it a step further. They visited the sites where children were commonly abandoned and took exposed children home to raise as their own. Why?
Rescuing abandoned babies isn’t commanded or even commended in the New Testament. Food was scarce and expensive. Homes were small. Babies died all the time. Why would anyone put their own family in jeopardy on behalf of an abandoned child? Christian Scripture didn’t require it. Jewish Scriptures didn’t require it. First-century Jesus followers were convinced love required it.
Long before there were chapters and verses, there existed an expression of sacrificial love that would eventually capture the attention of the empire. In the year AD 318, Emperor Constantine declared infanticide a crime. In AD 374, under Emperor Valentinian, exposure became a capital offense. A pitiless ritual practiced by pagan parents for hundreds of years in multiple cultures was eventually considered criminal through the influence of Christians who simply did what they were convinced love required.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 238). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
What are you going to tell those high school students who want to know why they shouldn’t lie?
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 237). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 238). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Here’s the new covenant approach to the topic of truth-telling. There are at least three reasons Christians shouldn’t lie.
First, lying dishonors the one to whom the lie is told. Lying communicates protecting me is more important than honoring you.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 238). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 238). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Secondly, lying devalues the recipient. Lying says, You’re not worth the truth.
Lastly, lying breaks the relationship. “The worst thing you can do is tell a lie. Lying will break our relationship.”
So, there are at least three good reasons Christians shouldn’t lie. What do those three things have to do with being a Christian? Everything. Let’s start with honor. Christians believe God honored us by sending his Son to die for our dishonoring sin. Including the lies we’ve told. If God honored me that much . . . if God honored you that much . . . if God honored my parents that much . . . who am I to dishonor those whom God has honored? Especially in light of the honor he has shown me.
Next up, value and worth. When God sent Jesus to pay for my sin, it was a declaration of my worth, my value. It was a declaration of your value as well. Who am I to treat as worthless those to whom God has bestowed the status of sons and daughters?
Last but not least, broken relationships. God sent Jesus to repair the broken relationship between himself and humankind. Who am I to break a relationship with someone for whom God paid so high a price to establish and restore one? The reason Christians should tell the truth is inexorably linked to the gospel, not a verse in the Bible. The issue isn’t that it’s written in a religious book. It’s what God actually did about our lies, our sin, and our separation from him and one another. Under the old covenant, participants told the truth to gain and maintain God’s covenant promises. Under the new covenant, we tell the truth to show honor to those God honored. In doing so, we honor God.
This same line of reasoning holds true for gossiping, stealing, cheating, defrauding, adultery, and all forms of immorality. I don’t need a verse that references pornography directly to know media that dishonors or undermines the integrity of our relationship.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 239). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 239). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (pp. 239-240). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
This same line of reasoning holds true for gossiping, stealing, cheating, defrauding, adultery, and all forms of immorality. I don’t need a verse that references pornography directly to know media that dishonors
Why?
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 238). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Why? I know what love requires of me.
I know what love requires of me.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (pp. 238-239). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
The behavioral standard for new covenanters is straightforward: If it’s not good for them, it’s sin. We don’t need chapter chapter and verse. We have something better. Namely, Jesus’ new, all-encompassing, inescapably simple command. We are to do unto others as our heavenly Father through Christ has done unto us. He did what was best for us when he sent his Son for us. We, in turn, are to do what’s best for others. Even when less than what’s best is embraced as acceptable by the others.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 240). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 240). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
How do we know what’s best? How do we know what love requires? According to the apostle Paul, God’s Spirit will always nudge us in the direction of kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. When in doubt, max those out. That’s what love requires. That’s what following Jesus looks like. That’s what’s best. Again, it’s less complicated. But more demanding.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 240). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Show me the love.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 242). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 242). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
1 Corinthians 13:2
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 242). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 243). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
“I am nothing.” A better translation would be, “I’m a nobody.” Love trumps insight, knowledge, giftedness, education, and IQ in God’s economy. That’s quite a list. But I left one out. Paul says great love trumps great faith.
Remember what Jesus told the disciples on their last night together: You wanna be somebody? Wash more feet!
So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you?
Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.
If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.
For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.
Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.
If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 244). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 244). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
What would happen in the church, and ultimately the world, if we oriented our lives . . . our marriages, friendships, professional relationships, finances, and time . . . around this inescapably simple but all-encompassing question:
What does love require of me?
Maybe we would stop cross-examining our Bibles looking for loopholes. Instead, we would search the pages of Scripture in pursuit of ways to love better. Youth groups and student ministries would be characterized by honor and mutual respect. Families would live on budgets so they could give more away. Marriages would become submission competitions. While folks outside our faith community may be critical of what we believe, they would be envious of how well we treat one another and stunned by how well we treat them.
People who were nothing like us would like us. That kind of love moved the needle once. I’m convinced it can again. But to love the way Jesus called us to love requires a complete break with the inspired inspired but retired, beautiful but obsolete, old covenant. As long as we continue mixing old with new, we will never be free to love as we have been called to love. Until we dispense with the old and embrace the new, our love will be leverage. And love that is leverage is no love at all.
What does love require of you?
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 245). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 245). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 245). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 245). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 245). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 238). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 238). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Stanley, Andy. Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World (p. 233). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.