A Funeral Message for Vickie L. Miller

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

A Word of Thanks

To all of you who prayed diligently for Mom and our family these last three months we express sincere gratitude for the role you played in adding muscle to Mom’s faith and blessing us with encouragement and comfort.  On behalf of our family, there are three people who I need to thank publicly.

Cindy and Megan Cargill, for staying up with us all night last Thursday as we waited for Mom to pass away. And this was not the only time you were there for our family. You visited mom in the hospital almost every night. You were truly like family to her and to us. In fact, you almost made the obituary as surviving family! We thank God for you family.

Dad’s twin brother Tom and his wife Sue. You have been such a strong support system for Dad and Mom and our family throughout the years.  You’ve been there for the many challenges of life and were there with us through the night to help us say goodbye to Mom. 

Pastor Eric Adams and Christ Covenant Presbyterian Church for ministering to Mom for the past year and a half. God knew that she would desperately need deep, God-exalting teaching as she faced this final hurdle, and so he sent her to you. You helped Mom see the riches of the sovereignty of God in all of life, including in suffering, and she drew frequently from that well. We praise God for your ministry to Mom, and for allowing us to celebrate her life and her Savior at Redeemer Presbyterian Church today. I know Mom would be pleased.

Mom did not lose heart

When you hear the word cancer and when you are informed that your cancer is terminal, and when the cancer begins to eat at your body, and when your pain becomes excruciating, and when you know that death is drawing near, how do you keep from "losing heart?" Not everyone does. But Mom did. All the way until she lost consciousness. (Enter Lisa's discussion with mom about Jesus being there).

One of the reasons why Mom did not lose heart was this text. She wrote it out on a 3X5 card and memorized it in her final days. I think Mom would be honored for us to see what she saw in this text. She would want all of us to “not lose heart” for the same reasons she did not lose heart. I hope you will honor her by listening to what this text says.

She was dying, but she was living

“Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16)

One reason why Mom did not lose heart at the end was because although she was dying, she was living. You can do both at the same time, depending on your perspective. Even though the outer being—that is, our material, transitory self—is decaying, on the other hand this text says we have transcendent significance. This does not mean that the "real" person is the inner person. The Bible views the human being as a unity. If we view the self from the outside in we will say we are dying. The dying of our material self is not what is a tragedy; this will happen to all of us. Funerals are dress rehearsals for your own funeral. If you live to preserve what is not preservable, you will become discouraged. You will lose heart.

There is a different way to look at our selves. We can view ourselves from the inside out. This is what Paul means in Colossians 3 when he speaks of the “putting off” of the old self and the “putting on” of the new self. From this perspective the Christian can speak of himself as a “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

So dying is not the tragedy. Dying without living is the real tragedy. And Mom learned from this text that although her body was wasting away, there was life inside her. It wasn’t a life that was dying; this was true life. It was being renewed day by day. It doesn’t die.

But not everyone has this. We cannot renew ourselves. This is the work of the Holy Spirit in our life. Ephesians 3:16 says that we are “strengthened with power through his Spirit in our inner being.” And this Holy Spirit is the Agent by Whom this regeneration takes place. Without Him there is no life, only death. Without Him there is reason to lose heart, for you have nothing to look forward to but death. Yes, Mom was dying, but she was also living. And today we are all dying. The question is, “Are you living?” Do you have the Spirit-given life that doesn’t die? You cannot produce this life yourself; it comes only through the regeneration of God’s Holy Spirit.

She was suffering, but she was joyful

“For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,” (2 Corinthians 4:17)

How could this be? Her suffering was real. I was there with Mom all night Tuesday into Wednesday, when she awoke from pain and cried out. She was suffering. It hurt. The pain was real.

But she had came to see that her suffering was "momentary." It lasted longer than the pain of stubbing one's toe, but it could only last a lifetime. And that is nothing compared to eternity. It would come to an end. Mom is no longer on morphine, and she is no longer in pain.

This text also refers to suffering as “slight.” The word means light or insignificant, and is here contrasted with a glory that is said to be weighty. But our writer, the Apostle Paul, says that this momentary affliction is insignificant. These are not the words of a comfortable American. Paul knew what it meant to suffer. Just listen to these words from earlier in the chapter (vv. 8-9): “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;” Paul knew suffering, and he said it was insignificant. It was real suffering, not imaginary. And Paul was not in denial about it. The reason he could call it “light” is the same reason he could call it momentary. It’s because of the comparison. The suffering was light because there was an eternal weight of glory that dwarfed the sufferings. Put mom's suffering up against the glory she is now seeing and experiencing and there is no comparison! No comparison! The sufferings are like a feather on a scale; they hardly even register. She knew this verse. And she did not lose heart. As Paul said elsewhere, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18).

But what is even more remarkable about this verse is that it says that it is the sufferings that prepare for us this eternal weight of glory. Notice it does not say the sufferings prepare us for the eternal weight of glory. Paul says that without the sufferings, there would be no eternal weight of glory. He does not say that God works in spite of suffering to bring about this eternal glory. He says God works through the suffering. There is a direct connection between how we endure suffering now and how much we will be able to enjoy the glory of God in the ages to come.

Suffering and death are a threat only to the degree that they jeopardize your treasure. If all you have to live for is what you can get in this temporary life, then suffering and death are to be feared. They threaten your treasure. But if suffering and facing the reality of death causes you to get your eyes off of temporary treasures and on to Jesus, our eternal treasure, then they become a mercy. That’s because the glory that is referenced here is not some eternally happy place with no pain and no sorrow and no death and no Jesus. No. There is no glory without Jesus. God’s greatest gift to us is Himself. And the greatest joy we can know, the greatest glory we can rejoice in, is Jesus. Many of you do not know this joy. 2 Corinthians 4:4 says that “the god of this world has blinded the mind of unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ.” May God help you see it now. “For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord.” (2 Corinthians 4:5).

Mom suffered. But she knew this verse, and she did not lose heart. Her sufferings only increased her faith. They led her to treasure Christ more than even life itself. And today she is experiencing the eternal weight of glory that was prepared for her by her suffering. Jesus became her greatest Treasure and her greatest delight.

She was losing, but she was gaining

“as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:18)

Death seems like a loss. We even say things like we have "lost" mom. But this is not biblically precise. Such words convey that we are looking at things that are seen.

But Paul says that there is a much heavier glory that awaits those of us who look past things that are seen. The verb look in this verse means “to set one’s attention on something.” If our attention is on this life, we lose. But if we set our aim on things that are not seen, we gain. We can be losing, and yet gaining.

So for example, Paul said that for him, death was a gain (Philippians 1:21). This is because death only produced that which he desired more than anything else, Jesus Christ. Can you say that? Or would your death rob you of what matters most to you? Is Jesus more desirable than work and children and grandchildren and cars and sports and money? If not, then death is a loss.

But Mom knew this verse. And I think she learned to set her aim on that which is unseen. She did not lose heart. She may have lost her life, but in losing her life she found it.