Mutual Submission
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Illustration of Teaching a class to get your women in line…While this was meant to be a funny around and group of men this was embarrassing when the whole church heard it not because I believed it but because of the ridiculousness of the thought.
This passage can be taken in a variety of different ways…and even the the title has to do with Who is in Charge in a marriage the truth is that what is shared here is really a great teaching on any relationship…
We are made for each other…Adam named every species and they were good…but when he was done there was none suitable for Adam even in the midst of all that God created Man was alone and it was not good…So from man God made women…This made them one.
…This is true in the Church as well…even in the midst of all God created if we are not an engaged part of the body of Jesus Christ or a community of faith we too can be lonely in the midst of a crowd.
The last verse of this story is often the most over looked…the man is to leave and cleave to his wife and the two are to become one.
There is no indication that the man is to dominate, marginalize, disrespect, objectify or force the wife to live in subjugation to the husband or the male…
The opposite of subjugation is implied…to become one. To live in harmony, peace and joy requires an intentional engagement with one another for the benefit of the other. Two Equal Parts make one…1 plus 1 equals 2 not 1 and a 1/2...
To become one does not require a desire to find common ground…but to seek to live in pursuit of the good of others before self.
Whenever I do pre-marriage counseling I point out that the idea of a 50/50 marriage is a myth. This type of thinking encourages a you scratch my back and Ill scratch yours mentality. It also often sets up a score keeping mentality.
This leads not only to a feeling of not being appreciated but it also sets up one or the other up as a martyr. When this is the marriage dynamic someone always seems to be “In charge”…and someone always seems to be less important than the other.
However when we embrace the fact that our happiness is connected to the happiness of our spouse we give up the need to control and abandon ourselves to the needs of the other.
When both man and women live this way in mutual submission what you will find is that everyones needs tend be met because you are meeting the need of your spouse.
When both man and women live this way in mutual submission what you will find is that your needs tend be met because you are meeting the need of your spouse.
Mutual submission must happen if a marriage is going to function the way God intended for it.
So who is in charge in your marriage? God is...
Mutual Submission is that place where people start caring more about others than themselves.
This means forgetting about who is in charge…keeping score about who gets what…and living in the moment with the person that God has joined together for a life time.
Transitioning a bit I think this element is also a vital ingredient to a Community of Faith or a Church….
I could not help but see the commonalties in application of this principle when I was preparing for this message…
Just like marriage the local church is a sacred relationship.
I think often we do not look at being the church in this light…even the way we choose a church seems to point to a more secular philosophy…
Children’s program….Check
Youth Program…Check
Good Music….Check
Good preaching…check
The local church is not a denomination, building, program factory or even an event…it is a relationship with God through the sacred act of community.
Mutual submission to each other and to the world for the sake of Jesus…This is why the disciples were called to stay in the upper room until the coming of the Spirit…they would not be effective evangelist or Christians until the learned how to give up themselves completely for OTHER.
This requires an intentional commitment and engagement to each other and OTHER.
Just as in marriage the more excuses we make to remain separated the less enthusiasm we maintain for the relationship.
Just as in marriage the more excuses we make to remain separated from our community of faith the less enthusiasm we maintain.
These excuses are not simply made to physically be aloof from community but emotionally.
Some of these excuses may be:
I just do not feel comfortable anymore….I am not getting fed….I am not being cared for…I don’t know anyone anymore….I just need a break for a while….
Just think for a moment how your spouse would react to such revelations about your sacred union of marriage?
…It would be devastating….but the two things all of these things have in common is that 1) The focus is all about what I want, what I need etc…and 2) They put all the blame for our feelings on another person, place, thing or emotion.
It would be devastating….but the two things all of these excuses have in common is that 1) The focus is all about what I want, what I need etc…and 2) They put all the blame for our feelings on another person, place, thing or emotion.
When we start down this road in marriage if we do not intentionally change direction it will lead to troubled days.
The same is true for Communities of Faith…When our willingness to be a part of community depends on what the community can do for us, how it makes us feel or even whether or not we are in charge, instead of being a place where we enter into relationship with God in Community troubled days are ahead for our walk and the community we are a part of.
Healthy marriages and church relationships require mutual submission….not give and take…But the continual giving to each other for the good of other.
The result is everyone will receive what they need if everyone is looking for ways to enhance the life of others.
All of the excuses we use to leave a marriage or a faith community can be met if we model what we expect from others.
I just do not feel comfortable anymore….make things more comfortableI am not getting fed….feed others... I am not being cared for…Care for others...I don’t know anyone anymore….introduce yourself...I just need a break for a while….offer to lift a burden.
If our life becomes more about the other than self I guarantee that over time the joy that has been lost will return…Community it a complicated thing because it requires intentional engagement.
As we engage by intentionally
Gathering in Worship and Fellowship
Growing in friendship and lerning
Serveing those inside and outside of our faith community
Multiplying disciples by inviting those closest to us to our community of faith
As we come together as a community let us commit to be engaged follower of Jesus by practicing mutual submission in:
Our Marriage
Our Church
Our Friendship
Our work
Our World
Communion is a way we can solidify and experience together in the presence of God…this is why communion is not meant to be a solitary act….Communion is a corporate or community act.
The Communion Supper, instituted by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is a sacrament, which proclaims His life, His sufferings, His sacrificial death, and resurrection, and the hope of His coming again. It shows forth the Lord’s death until His return.
The Supper is a means of grace in which Christ is present by the Spirit. It is to be received in reverent appreciation and gratefulness for the work of Christ.
All those who are truly repentant, forsaking their sins, and believing in Christ for salvation are invited to participate in the death and resurrection of Christ. We come to the table that we may be renewed in life and salvation and be made one by the Spirit.
PRESENT THE BODY AND BLOOD OF JESUS
In unity with the Church, we confess our faith: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again. And so we pray:
Lord God,
you call us to love and serve you
with body, mind, and spirit
through loving your creation
and our sisters and brothers.
Open our hearts in compassion
and receive these petitions
on behalf of the needs of the church and the world.
hear our prayers and make us faithful stewards
of the fragile bounty of this earth
so that we may be entrusted with the riches of heaven. Amen.
Prayers of the People, concluding with:
you call us to love and serve you
with body, mind, and spirit
through loving your creation
and our sisters and brothers.
Open our hearts in compassion
and receive these petitions
on behalf of the needs of the church and the world.
hear our prayers and make us faithful stewards
of the fragile bounty of this earth
so that we may be entrusted with the riches of heaven. Amen.
Holy One,
hear our prayers and make us faithful stewards
of the fragile bounty of this earth
so that we may be entrusted with the riches of heaven. Amen.
CALL SERVERS AT THIS TIME
The altar is open if you need to make confession or ask Jesus as saviour or if you just need to allow The Spirit to speak to you in a more intimate way.
Our Marriage
As the Lord leads please come to the Lord’s Table.
Our Church
Our Friendship
Receive the benediction:
Our work
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Our World
5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had,
Amen.
6 so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.