Relationships and Conflict Resolution

We all know that it’s important to witness Truth and Love toward non-Christians, but what about relationships with our brothers and sisters in faith? What we’re going to talk about below pertains to both Christians and non-Christians - the difference is that we are more accountable to keep unity and peace with our God-family than those who don’t agree with our innermost convictions.

Relationships, Growth, and Conflict resolution

We all know that it’s important to witness Truth and Love toward non-Christians, but what about relationships that get difficult with our brothers and sisters in faith? What we’re going to talk about below pertains to both Christians and non-Christians - the difference is that we are more accountable to keep unity and peace with our God-family than those who don’t agree with our innermost convictions.

4 Reasons God Loves for You to be in relationship with other Christians

Refinement: Iron sharpens Iron. “Just as iron sharpens iron, a person sharpens the character of his friend.”

Support and comfort: Pray for one another. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Reflect the kingdom: Play, work, and live in harmony with one another “For behold, the kingdom of God is in your midst.” … “For the kingdom of God is not eating or drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”

Receive God’s love through others: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

5 Reasons Why Relationships Can Be Difficult

Personal sin: My own stubbornness, or that of the “other”, or most often - both. My own turning from God, or that of the “other”, or most often - both.

Worldly/Flesh influences: Even if we have chosen Christ and have been born again of the Spirit, we will have to endure the effect of evil in this world: by others who are living in their flesh, and by the Devil’s influence on the world. This curse on the world is a reminder that nothing here will feel like absolute perfection until we are in the presence of God.

“For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.”

Refinement: We can say yes to Jesus as our Saviour and be saved, but the work has just begun! Letting God carve away that which does not serve His perfect purposes for our lives can be painful, but is important for our “working out our salvation with fear and trembling (with deep respect), for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” -

Endurance training: Time to persevere in the face of adversity!

“Count it joy… when you encounter trials of all kinds, but know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness (endurance). And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” - “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Time to move on: Often involves a lot of letting go, but also is sometimes important. “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called…”

Different walks of life : Others have different experiences and can either challenge, affirm, or add to your viewpoints. Many people to start off will assume their “way” is the right way, until challenged or convicted from the inside or the outside. Family upbringing, life experience, culture and way of life, educational upbringing, religious teaching and beliefs, personal wisdom and curiosity, habits and interests, mentors, and wounding will all play into this.

10 Great Conflict Resolution Tips

Take a break and a breath. No good decisions are ever made in anger or despair.

Sense the emotional environment. Choose the right time and the right mood for you both.

Seek and give out forgiveness and mercy FIRST. Without a heart of mercy, you may not be completely forgiving someone.

Establish an environment of trust. Give it where is it not obviously due, and assume that it is already present - though be careful with repeat offenders. When conflict arises, resolution attempts should first come from a place of trust, mutual support, and security. If any of these things are out of place, the argument will likely not be resolved as smoothly.

Listen well… Hear and repeat, and have clarified. Don’t listen just to give your opinion. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

Don’t try to translate someone else’s words within the context of your own experience.

Be an attentive listener. Be engaged, make eye contact, and empathize.

Know there are other forces at work: Realize that you two aren’t the only beings at work in a relationship. God seeks to refine and perfect you, and reveal His love to you. The Devil seeks to kill and destroy anything that resembles godliness in you and the “other”.

Other forces at work: Realize that you two aren’t the only beings at work in a relationship. God seeks to refine and perfect you, and reveal His love to you. The Devil seeks to kill and destroy anything that resembles godliness in you and the “other”.

Pray. Apart, individually, or together. Surrender and “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”

Unpack your suitcase. We all come with personal baggage. Take time to decipher, with God’s wisdom, why you have made certain “agreements” about the way you should relate to others, how others relate to you, and how God sees you. Do this alone and with a trusted mentor or friend.

Make up! Step further toward resolution by doing something actively thoughtful and caring for your friend/person. If it is you who needs to change, produce evidence.

Summary:

Your relationships will only grow as you are willing to change and grow.

Be okay with leaving things behind so God can do something new in you and prepare you for heaven! Use Judy Kramer’s prayer: “God, this, or something better!”

Anticipate that not everything will go exactly your way. Be prepared for conflict because of all the above reasons! It will cause you to be slower to anger and richer in mercy.

Pray to see things through a heavenly perspective. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, or the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”