1 Corinthians 7

Marriage, Divorce, Singleness

Think about in our culture today: what are some distortions of marriage/singleness that you can think of?

Marriage:

Old TV shows with married couples sleeping in separate single beds

Common sentiments about “loveless, sexless marriage”

Divorce no longer carries a social stigma-in fact often to be divorced is merely to be back in the dating pool

Singleness

that singleness is a time that allows for sexual promiscuity without the restrictive confines of monogamy—”single and ready to mingle”

how many TV shows/celebrities can you think of where a single person is not engaged in a constant string of changing sexual partners?

even in the church—singleness is often only acknowledged as a current failure to find a spouse, not as a possible calling of God on someone’s life

Relevant Cultural Context for 1 Corinthians 7:

Once again, we need to note what a morally depraved culture the Corinth represented

Marriage was incredibly distorted in this society

Divorce was beyond commonplace-it was not uncommon for someone to have been divorced/remarried 20 times

Feminism was rampant—resulted in many childless marriages which resulted in a culture of divorce/remarriage to pursue more sexual relationships

Sex outside of marriage was common—in fact then, as now, fidelity and purity were the unusual and remarkable

As one commentator put it “their society tolerated fornication, adultery, homosexuality, polygamy, and concubinage.”

Celibacy-when its appropriate, and when its not (7:1-8)

“Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me”

we cannot remove that context from our understanding of what is to follow—Paul here is addressing issues rooted in the problems the Corinthian believers faced in their culture

“It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”

for some reason, we tend to read “good” as “better,” inferring a contrast Paul does not imply

Paul is here affirming that celibacy in the context of singleness is a good and virtuous state, not inferior to marriage

“Nevertheless because of sexual immorality…”(v.2)

Among the many God ordained purposes for marriage, marriage is also for pleasure

such unsanctified unions should not characterize believers, so Paul urges that sexual intimacy happen within the singular context of each man and woman within their particular marriage-not adultery, polygamy or sex outside of marriage

The Song of Solomon speaks of the husband and wife delighting in marital intimacy

Yet within that book, there is a repeated warning: “I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” ()

There is a recognition of the powerful desire for sexual intimacy, but with the warning not to kindle that desire before it may be satisfied in marriage

So the delight that a husband and wife find in their sexual relationship helps to protect them from seeking sexual fulfillment in other, inappropriate and sinful ways

“Let your fountains be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?” ()

Paul therefore states that particularly in the debauched culture in which the Corinthians lived, the believers should pursue the normative, God-ordained covenant of marriage, which provides a greater degree (though certainly not impregnable) of sexual safety then does celibacy

this cannot be disconnected from the spiritual immaturity and carnality of the believers at Corinth () who by-and-large may not have been mature enough to handle with fortitude the self-denial celibacy requires

Nor did Paul fail to acknowledge the exceptions to this rule (see vs. 7)

How are you protecting yourself against some of the desires and temptations that are uniquely strong while living as celibate and single?

Inappropriate celibacy (v. 3-6)

Marriage/sexuality within marriage is to be characterized by mutual submission

Paul leaves no room for doubt— this is total equality and mutual honor/obligation

This is part of the protective custody of marriage—neither the husband nor the wife posses a right to their body that is not constrained by the authority of the spouse—therefore they may not seek to use their body sexually outside of that marriage covenant

Celibacy is not appropriate within marriage

Paul will not tolerate a loveless, sexless view of marriage

Nor does he tolerate a view that sex is distasteful—within marriage he insists on it!

Because, for the reasons stated above, sex in marriage not only establishes intimacy in a God-gifted way, but it protects from seeking fulfillment elsewhere!

How does Paul’s instruction here change your understanding of marriage/marital intimacy?

Paul acknowledges the gift of singleness

He even states that living

The gift of singleness (v. 6-9)

“I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.”

Though marriage is to be normative and desirable (and given the character and culture of the Corinthian church, of particular needfulness for them), it is not commanded

Nor are married people “more spiritual”

“But I wish that all men were even as myself”

There certainly desirable characteristics of singleness that have unique appeal for a minister of the gospel, as all believers are to be.

Read vs. 29-35

“No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.” ()

In what ways do we appropriately or inappropriately think of singleness?

If you are significantly single (i.e. reason to think there is not a likely immediate change), are you bitter, or do you view this stage in your life as an opportunity to devote your life to service in a unique way?

Question to work on on your own—how do you determine if have been gifted with the ability to to be celibate and single, or if God has gifted you with the desire and ability to be married?

Divorce (v. 10-16)

Paul affirms the instruction of Christ

Paul here is speaking to believers who desire to be divorced for reasons other than sexual immorality

Christ does not allow provision for their divorce nor remarriage, except in the case of sexual immorality

Matthew 5:

read

Matthew 5:31–32 NKJV

“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

2. Paul builds on Christ’s instruction

Paul builds on Christ’s instruction

Doubtless the Corinthians reached out to Paul in the letter, seeking help for some complex issues they faced in their marriages

In Corinthian culture, in addition to divorce, there were many types of marriages recognized in Corinthian society (such as arranged marriages of slaves by their masters, that could be dissolved and re-arranged at the masters will)

There was also the problem-what if you had become a believer, but your spouse had not? If you now found yourself unequally yoked, did that give you license to divorce?

Finding yourself unequally yoked to an unbeliever while challenging and undesirable, did not free you from marriage

Instead, that relationship provided a unique witnessing opportunity, both to your spouse and to the children

NOTE: the language used “sanctified” and “holy” in relation to the unbelieving spouse and children cannot refer to salvation, not least because then they could not be called unbelieving—instead it refers to the fact that rather than they have a defiling effect on you, you may have a saving witnessing opportunity to them, but the calling and grace of God.

Paul says that outside of sexual immorality, only death looses the ties of marriage (v. 39). How does the seriousness of that commitment change the way in which you will date/consider a potential spouse?

NOTE FOR FUTURE USE: In this lesson I worked through the latter half of the chapter as a way of unpacking former, which is why the latter half of the chapter does not have individual sections.