“Lean on Me”

Many times when we are face to face with situations that seem impossible, it is amazing how with the help of other people the impossible can become possible. Trying to get though life, it is difficult and sad to have to walk though it alone. Friendships. Partnerships are an important piece to the puzzle of life sometimes. It is important to have someone to share our lives with. Being alone is not really a good thing. Even those that like to be alone, don’t really want to be alone alone. Companionship is something we feel and desire deep deep down inside. It is real, so real that it does really weird things.

MIT professor Dr. Sherry Turkle tells the following story:

MIT professor Dr. Sherry Turkle tells the following story:

Years ago I spoke with a 16-year-old girl who was considering the idea of having a computer companion in the future, and she described the upside to me. It's not that the robot she'd imagined, a vastly more sophisticated Siri, was so inspiring. It's that she'd already found people to be so disappointing. And now, for the first time, she explained to me, people have options. Back then I thought her comments seemed prescient. Now I find them timely.

"There are people who have tried to make friends, but stumbled so badly that they've given up," she said. "So when they hear this idea of robots as companions, well … it's not like a robot has the mind to walk away or leave you or anything like that."

Turkle admits that robots may not break your heart, but they are also incapable of real love. She adds, "These robots can perform empathy in a conversation about your friend, your mother, your child, or your lover, but they have no experience of any of these relationships. Machines have not known the arc of a human life. They feel nothing of the human loss or love we describe to them."

But because companionship and friendships are so necessary for us all that a loveless robot is better than nothing. So we see that the need for partnership is real, but what if we think there are other things that can replace it. Working, gaining wealth, gain, and more gain at the expense of friendship. Go for the money instead of relationships. Solomon gives us some insight into this. We will explore today why he says 2 are better than 1.

Ecclesiastes 4:7–12 NLT

I observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?” It is all so meaningless and depressing. Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of our God stands forever.

Me, Myself, and I

2 Are Better Then 1

The Friend of Sinners

The first thing we will look at today is the meaninglessness of isolation and lack of community even with me, myself, and I. Second, we will Solomon’s conclusion that companionship is truly better than isolation and loneliness because 2 are better then 1. Finally, we will see the isolation and separation we had from the Father because of sin, but because Christ is a friend of sinners, we were reconciled to the Father with a bond even stronger than a cord of 3 strands.

Thesis: Though sin and the pattern of this world may cause us to chase selfish gain instead of meaningful relationships, it is the truth of the Scriptures, the love of Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit that will cause us to see and desire fellowship in Christ and with His body the church.

I. Me, Myself and I

- The vanity of isolation and loneliness.

A. I once used the cord of three strands to make a point to a person once about their isolation. He told me he has three stands…me, myself and I. Clever, but wrong.

B. The preacher tell us a sad sad story. We do not know who the man is, not mentioned by name. He is quite alone. There is no wife or children therefore no heir for all that he has gained. He is working for himself and there is no one else to share in the blessings.

The man is not mentioned by name, but he lives and works alone. If he has a wife, she is not mentioned, so perhaps this is the biography of a bachelor. But even if he does have a wife, he does not have an heir—a son or a brother to inherit his wealth. So he is only working for himself, not for the blessing or benefit of anyone else.

C. Looking at this man, Qoheleth saw meaninglessness from the beginning to the very end. He saw the endless days of work done. Day after day hour after hour working away from dawn to dusk. 60 to 70 hour work weeks? Having no wife and child, he could do this. Derek Kidner calls him “the compulsive money-maker.” But for what purpose? No matter what he gained or accomplished, the man had no one with whom to share it. He was working too hard to make any friends or start a family.

The man is not mentioned by name, but he lives and works alone. If he has a wife, she is not mentioned, so perhaps this is the biography of a bachelor. But even if he does have a wife, he does not have an heir—a son or a brother to inherit his wealth. So he is only working for himself, not for the blessing or benefit of anyone else.

As the Preacher looked at the man’s life, he saw that it was vanity from beginning to end. There seemed to be no end to the man’s work. Day after day after day he kept working away, from dawn until dark. How long was his workweek? Sixty hours? Seventy hours? Yet the miser was never satisfied; he always wanted more. Derek Kidner calls him “the compulsive money-maker.” But for what purpose? No matter what he gained, the man had no one with whom to share it. He was working too hard to make any friends or to start a family.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 114). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Derek Kidner calls him “the compulsive money-maker.” But for what purpose? No matter what he gained, the man had no one with whom to share it. He was working too hard to make any friends or to start a family.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 114). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

D. Here he was, making constant sacrifices to advance his career and build up his bank account, yet never even considering whether it was all worth it. But we see it here. The Preacher could see that it wasn’t worth it; the man’s sacrifices were worthless. His possessions could never satisfy his soul, and without anyone to share it with, his life would end in utter unhappiness.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 114). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

E. We had a neighbor who told us that having children was a good thing. He didn’t have children, but chased money and success and regretted it. It was really sad to see.

Here he was, making costly sacrifices to advance his career and build up his bank account, yet never even considering whether it was all worth it. The Preacher could see that it wasn’t worth it; the man’s sacrifices were worthless. His possessions could never satisfy his soul, and without anyone to share it with, his life would end in unhappiness.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 114). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

F. What the Preacher saw is a warning for all of us against isolation, selfishness, greed, and a sinful addiction to work. Yet most Americans continue to believe that we can make it on our own—rugged individualism, we call it. One of the saddest quotes from a movie, “You’re old enough now to learn the most important lesson in life. You cannot count on anyone except yourself.… It’s sad but true, and the sooner you learn it the better.”

“You’re old enough now to learn the most important lesson in life. You cannot count on anyone except yourself.… It’s sad but true, and the sooner you learn it the better.”

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 115). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

G. Living and working for ourselves is one of the fastest ways to turn the American dream into a nightmare. Meaningless its all meaningless.

Living and working for ourselves is one of the fastest ways to turn the American dream into a nightmare.

II. 2 Are Better Than 1

- A better way to live and work.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 115). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

A. According to this simple juxtaposition, it is better to share our life and work than to try to make it on our own. You see Solomon is not simply talking about marriage here, even though every God-centered marriage is living proof of this principle. But he is talking about all of our other relationships as well. We were never designed to live alone, but for us to always live in community with other people.

According to this simple comparison, it is better to share our life and work than to try to make it on our own. The Preacher is not simply talking about marriage here, although of course every God-centered marriage is living proof of this principle. But the Preacher is talking about all of our other relationships too. We were never designed to go it alone, but always to live in community with other people.

B. One scholar wrote, the “buddy system” is not just for school field trips and swimming in the ocean; it is God’s plan for our life and service to him.

The “buddy system” is not just for school field trips and swimming in the ocean; it is God’s plan for our life and service to him. It has been this way since the beginning, when God created Adam and said,

C. It has been this way since the beginning, when God created Adam and said

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 115). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 115). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Genesis 2:18 NLT

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Genesis 2:8 NLT

Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made.

Genesis 2:18

D. Togetherness is better than loneliness. Yes. Connection is better than competition. That should be enough, but if we need more reasons to prove this… here are some.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 ESV

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.

E. What is better than 1 steak dinner? 2 steak dinners. They can be more productive. We know when two people work together, they can accomplish more than twice as much as either one could accomplish alone.

Togetherness is better than loneliness. Connection is better than competition.

But when two people work together well, they accomplish more than twice as much as either one could accomplish alone.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 115). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

F. Two are also better than one because they can help one another in times of trouble.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 NLT

If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 115). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Two are also better than one because they can help one another in times of trouble.

Ecclesiastes 4:10

G. Pretty clear here. This warning is reminiscent of the famous television commercial in which an old woman has an accident at home and says, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Sometimes this happens in life, not only literally but also metaphorically. Sometimes, many times, lots of times, we need help. We sometimes, many times, lots of times, need lots of help.

H. Oh yeah, we get knocked down by life’s trials and troubles. We need help. Sometimes something or somebody pushes us down. And we need help up. Sometimes we just trip over our own two feet, but either way we end up on the ground. We need help up. We try something new and end up failing. We find that we have fallen and can’t get up. Relationships get broken. And we find that we have fallen and we can’t get up. Financial difficulties make us feel desperate. We find that we have fallen and we can’t get up. Against our own better judgment we fall into grievous sin. And here for sure we have fallen and we can’t get up.

This warning is reminiscent of the famous television commercial in which an old woman has an accident at home and says, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Sometimes this happens in life, not only literally but also metaphorically.

I. Two are better than one because it is essential to survival.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 116). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 116). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Ecclesiastes 4:11 NLT

Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?

Ecclesiastes 4:11–12 NLT

Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Preaching the Word: Ecclesiastes—Why Everything Matters Working in Partnership

At first we may think that he is talking about the marriage bed, but the implications of what he says are much wider. What the Preacher has in mind is someone traveling through the wilderness. The desert gets cold at night, and if a pilgrim is walking alone, he will freeze, maybe even to death. But not if he has a companion!

J. At first we may think that he is talking about the marriage bed, but the implications of what he says are much wider. What the Preacher has in mind is someone traveling through the wilderness. The desert gets cold at night, and if a pilgrim is walking alone, he will freeze, maybe even to death. But not if he has a companion!

K. This is not just good travel advice but wisdom for the soul. There is spiritual warmth in going through life with others. It is common to grow cold in Christian life, to become numb to the work and Word of God, and to spiritually, freeze to death. But when we are growing cold, the heat of another Christian can warm us up. The prayer of an elder, deacon, or another member, the verse that a friend shares from Scripture, an exhortation to turn our hearts back to God—these are some of the sparks that God uses to keep the fire burning. Using other Christians to keep us warm.

At first we may think that he is talking about the marriage bed, but the implications of what he says are much wider. What the Preacher has in mind is someone traveling through the wilderness. The desert gets cold at night, and if a pilgrim is walking alone, he will freeze, maybe even to death. But not if he has a companion!

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 116). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

L. 2 are better than 1 because there is safety in numbers. There is danger that travelers face along the open road which was especially true in the days of King Solomon. Sure, there was always the danger of getting attacked by robbers. This is yet another reason why two are better than one: they can protect one another. There is safety in numbers.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 116). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

M. There is safety in numbers. Two people are more than twice as hard to defeat as one. Therefore, sometimes all it takes to protect us is one person who “has our back,” a comrade at arms. I think of the first movie with wolverine. Two brothers who found themselves fighting against the world… often when they fought they would yell out back to back. Victorious? Yes.

danger that travelers face along the open road. This was especially true in the days of King Solomon, when there was always the danger of getting attacked by robbers. This is yet another reason why two are better than one: they can protect one another.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 117). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 117). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

N. Even if we do not travel the open road or live in Gotham City, we still face spiritual danger every day. The world is full of temptation—the desire of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life (). Satan is always prowling around like a lion to devour us (). When it comes to facing these spiritual dangers, two are better than one. If we live close with other believers, there is always someone to stand with us in the fight and to cover us with the protection of prayer.

Even if we do not travel the open road or live in Gotham City, we still face spiritual danger every day. The world is full of temptation—the desire of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life (). Satan is always prowling around like a lion to devour us (). When it comes to facing these spiritual dangers, two are better than one. If we live close with other believers, there is always someone to stand with us in the fight and to cover us with the protection of prayer.

O. But we know all of this. But oh boy does loneliness ever exist. To point out how lonely people can be, Charles Swindoll mentioned an ad in a Kansas newspaper. It read, "I will listen to you talk for 30 minutes without comment for $5.00." Swindoll said, "Sounds like a hoax, doesn't it? But the person was serious. Did anybody call? You bet. It wasn't long before this individual was receiving 10 to 20 calls a day. The pain of loneliness was so sharp that some were willing to try anything for a half hour of companionship"

P. We will recognize this reality today? Many people in this world are lonely and are in need of a friend. Many people in this world who are alone and desperate. Alone and depressed. Alone and hopeless. We talked about suicide in the US, but did you know that suicide is the number 1 cause of death for men 45 years old and under in the UK?

To point out how lonely people can be, Chrales Swindoll mentioned an ad in a Kansas newspaper. It read, "I will listen to you talk for 30 minutes without comment for $5.00." Swindoll said, "Sounds like a hoax, doesn't it? But the person was serious. Did anybody call? You bet. It wasn't long before this individual was receiving 10 to 20 calls a day. The pain of loneliness was so sharp that some were willing to try anything for a half hour of companionship"

III. The Friend of Sinners

Ryken, P. G. (2010). Ecclesiastes: Why everything matters (p. 117). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

- Jesus is truly the friend that we need most of all.

A. But as bad as our loneliness and isolation in this world is, it is nothing compared to the loneliness and separation that we experience from God the Father because of sin. Because of sin we chased after our selfish desires like the lonely man and now we have nothing to show for it. We decided to chase the money instead of the Lord. We have a meaningless life and nothing to share. We will be alone with our sin and alone for eternity.

B. Spiritually speaking we could not accomplish anything apart from the Lord. We did not have the ability to get up after we have fallen. In sin we have fallen and we can’t get up. We could not survive the wrath of God that is coming. And nothing in this world could protect us from falling into the hands of the living God. We were in real trouble. All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. The wages of sin is death. We were all by nature children of wrath. It is real.

C. But we were not left alone in this. The Gospel. Our friend that sticks closer than a brother came to help us. We could not do it alone, with Christ we can do all things. We could not do it alone, Jesus came to help us, he came to seek and save that which was lost. We could not survive the fires of hell without him. We could not be protected alone. Jesus saved us from the wrath of God. Jesus died for our sins an he was buried … Yes Jesus was a friend of sinners.

D. Christ Jesus came into this world to save sinners, he certainly has our back. We know that a cord of three strands (even more than two people) we know that it is not easily broken. But a bond with our Lord Jesus will never be broken.

John 10:29 NLT

for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand.

E. Lean on Christ today. He is our Lord. He is the King. He has all authority in heaven and on earth. He is the alpha and omega. Lean on Christ when your not strong. If two are better than one, then with Christ it is the best of all.