Sermon Tone Analysis
Overall tone of the sermon
This automated analysis scores the text on the likely presence of emotional, language, and social tones. There are no right or wrong scores; this is just an indication of tones readers or listeners may pick up from the text.
A score of 0.5 or higher indicates the tone is likely present.
Emotion Tone
Anger
0.14UNLIKELY
Disgust
0.54LIKELY
Fear
0.12UNLIKELY
Joy
0.58LIKELY
Sadness
0.55LIKELY
Language Tone
Analytical
0.51LIKELY
Confident
0UNLIKELY
Tentative
0.02UNLIKELY
Social Tone
Openness
0.92LIKELY
Conscientiousness
0.63LIKELY
Extraversion
0.08UNLIKELY
Agreeableness
0.6LIKELY
Emotional Range
0.53LIKELY
Tone of specific sentences
Tones
Emotion
Language
Social Tendencies
Anger
< .5
.5 - .6
.6 - .7
.7 - .8
.8 - .9
> .9
duction - Begin Cromwell Story
What is the greatest thing that has ever been written?
Let me take you back to 2004.
Let's throw the picture up there.
Yeah there it is.
So! Little Sam in third grade.
My teacher Mrs. Schnakenberg announces to us all one day that next week we'd be going to Wollaroc State park.
Oh yeah... the annual elementary field trip to Wolloroc to learn about our great state of Oklahoma.
There was tomahawk throwing, basket weaving, teepee building, petting zoos, cow patty throwing contests (one of my few athletic successes mind you.
Two years back to back champ), and then... there was CiCi's pizza.
Oh man, I feel so bad for the workers at cicis that day. to have about 150 elementary students flood your doors to get some pizza and play games.
But in addition to all that...
I know, I know.
What could possibly be better than hurling cow poop and tomahawks and stuffing yourself with pizza till you literally vomit?
Well I'll tell you.
Peighton Cox.
Yeah throw that picture up there.
Look at that bleach blonde hair and crooked teeth.
That was enough to make third grade Sam go weak in the knees.
And I...
I had worked up the courage.
I'd been planning this all day... guys this is so good.
When we were assigned teams for the field trip I stood at a place in line so that Peighton and I would get on the same team.
So we were put on the same team and she followed me around all day fixated on my hotness.
She watched me throw tomahawks like a viking warrior, build teepees like a gruff outdoorsman and sling cow patties like a... well like a third grade boy.
Finally we got to cicis and the time had come.
I pulled her aside and leaned on a video game machine and said "Sup girl...
I like you.
Do you like me?"
She giggled and ran away.
Her friend Rachel came up and said, "she'll tell you in twenty minutes.
Wait here."
So I grabbed a seat just outside of the arcade and an eternity later Rachel sits back down... and ever so smoothly slips me a little piece of paper...
I open it up... my fingers tingling with anticipation.
And I read... the greatest thing ever written...
I Like you too.
With a little heart over the lowercase i in the word like.
I jumped out of my seat ecstatic!
Why wasn't Rachel rejoicing with me I wondered.
Where was my new girlfriend?
Why wasn't she here smothering me in kisses and clinging to my bulging biceps?
Rachel looks solemn and says "turn the paper over."
< .5
.5 - .6
.6 - .7
.7 - .8
.8 - .9
> .9