The Making of a Godly Marrige
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Shama
3 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’
5 And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’
What Jesus said about Marriage
The Purpose of Marriage
The Purpose of Marriage
The Mystery of Marriage
The Head Christ the Woman the Church
I want that ...
Model it so that they would see it and do the same
Pessimistic Perspective about Marriage
4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house.
Sex is natural but Marriage is Spiritual
Nothing satisfies when you don't have Christ
Marital Love is like Death..it wants all of us
How many covenants do she has
Colliding Covenants
Investigate them
The Mystery of Marriage
The Mystery of Marriage
32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
Mystery or Secret to marriage
The Mystery of Marriage
The Head Christ the Woman the Church
In A Godly Marriage there is a Death
In A Godly Marriage there is a Death
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her
The Man must Die
the Man must Die
Death = Love with a wiliness to sacrifice, even unto.
It takes a strong man to die
How does this look ?
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
6 Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.
Phil
7 Instead, he emptied himself by taking on the form of a servant, by becoming like other humans, by having a human appearance.
7 But stripped Himself [of all privileges and rightful dignity], so as to assume the guise of a servant (slave), in that He became like men and was born a human being.
Phil
8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Think of the Church and all of Her ills
The Church and all of her imperfections
Die to her imperfections
Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Thesaurus imperfection
an instance of failure to reach a standard of excellence or perfection <watch for imperfections in the cloth>
synonyms deficiency, demerit, fault, shortcoming, sin
The Church and all of her inconsistencies
The Church and all of her inconsistencies
Die to her
Inconsistencies
changeable, fickle, lubricious, mercurial, temperamental, ticklish, uncertain, unstable
antonyms consistent
synonyms INCONSONANT 1, conflicting, incompatible, incongruent, unmixable
synonyms INCONSONANT 1, conflicting, disconsonant, discordant, discrepant, dissonant, incompatible, incongruent, incongruous, unmixable
Merriam-Webster, I. (1996). Merriam-Webster’s collegiate thesaurus. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster.
The Church and all of her idiosyncrasies
Die to her idiosyncrasies
Idiosyncrasies: a mode of behaviour or way of thought specific to an individual. a distinctive or peculiar characteristic of something.
I don't make excuses for your shortcomings , I love you in them and through them.
Christ not only died but He also suffered
In a Godly Marriage there will be Suffering
In a Godly Marriage there will be Suffering
4 And falling to the ground, he heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?”
Where in Dying speaks to your wife's inner struggles those things that God is perfecting in her,
Suffering speaks to just life
Marriage is learning to love what they love and love who they love
Sickness
Cruelties
Injustices
Frustrations
In A Godly Marriage their must be some Sanctifying
In A Godly Marriage their must be some Sanctifying
To Sanctify — to make as dedicated to God; either in becoming more distinct, devoted, or morally pure. To make holy to consecrate
Sanctifying Love
Sanctifying Love
For husbands to love their wives as Christ loves His church is to love them with a purifying love. Divine love does not simply condemn wrong in those loved but seeks to cleanse them from it. Christ’s great love for His church does not allow Him to be content with any sin, any moral or spiritual impurity in it. God tells His people, “Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool” (). He casts the sins of His forgiven children “into the depths of the sea” (), and He forgives their iniquity and remembers their sin no more ().
Divine love does not simply condemn wrong in those loved but seeks to cleanse them from it. Christ’s great love for His church does not allow Him to be content with any sin, any moral or spiritual impurity in it.
Love wants only the best for the one it loves, and it cannot bear for a loved one to be corrupted or misled by anything evil or harmful.
When a husband’s love for his wife is like Christ’s love for His church, he will continually seek to help purify her from any sort of defilement. He will seek to protect her from the world’s contamination and protect her holiness, virtue, and purity in every way. He will never induce her to do that which is wrong or unwise or expose her to that which is less than good.
In ancient Greece, a bride-to-be would be taken down to a river to be bathed and ceremonially cleansed from every defilement of her past life. Whatever her life had been before, it was now symbolically purified and she would enter the marriage without any moral or social blemish—the past was washed away.
In an immeasurably greater way Christ gave Himself up for the church, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. His cleansing of believers is not ceremonial and symbolic, but real and complete.
The soteriological truth in this analogy is that saving grace makes believers holy through the cleansing agency of the Word of God, so that they may be presented to Christ as His pure Bride, forever to dwell in His love. It is with that same purpose and in that same love that husbands are to cultivate the purity, righteousness, and sanctity of their wives.
MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1986). Ephesians (pp. 299–300). Chicago: Moody Press.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Eph 5 24
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
For husbands to love their wives as Christ loves His church is to love them with a purifying love.
Divine love does not simply condemn wrong in those loved but seeks to cleanse them from it. Christ’s great love for His church does not allow Him to be content with any sin, any moral or spiritual impurity in it.
Love wants only the best for the one it loves, and it cannot bear for a loved one to be corrupted or misled by anything evil or harmful.
When a husband’s love for his wife is like Christ’s love for His church, he will continually seek to help purify her from any sort of defilement. He will seek to protect her from the world’s contamination and protect her holiness, virtue, and purity in every way. He will never induce her to do that which is wrong or unwise or expose her to that which is less than good.
In ancient Greece, a bride-to-be would be taken down to a river to be bathed and ceremonially cleansed from every defilement of her past life. Whatever her life had been before, it was now symbolically purified and she would enter the marriage without any moral or social blemish—the past was washed away.
In an immeasurably greater way Christ gave Himself up for the church, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. His cleansing of believers is not ceremonial and symbolic, but real and complete.
The soteriological truth in this analogy is that saving grace makes believers holy through the cleansing agency of the Word of God, so that they may be presented to Christ as His pure Bride, forever to dwell in His love. It is with that same purpose and in that same love that husbands are to cultivate the purity, righteousness, and sanctity of their wives.
Is my wife more Christ like because of me, or is she more Christ like in spite of me ?
In A Godly Marriage there must be Self Love
In A Godly Marriage there must be Self Love
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
2
29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.
The Same way that that you take care of yourself, is the same way you should take care of your wife
She is Me
I'm not stupid
I'm not slow
I'm not dumb
In A Godly Marriage there must be Intercession
In A Godly Marriage there must be Intercession
Intercede for them
Giving ourselves for our Bride involves prayerful Intersession
9 I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours.
25 Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.
Commitment
Commitment
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
Self Love
27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
She is me
Emotional incarnation
Social incarnation
Commitment an agreement or pledge to do something in the future especially: an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date Synonyms OBLIGATION , charge, committal, duty, must, need, ought, right
There is no substitute for Covenant plus Commitment
Fidelity
Fidelity
Fidelity the quality or state of being faithful FIDELITY implies strict and continuing faithfulness to an obligation, trust, or duty 〈marital fidelity〉
1 “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?
Our Eyes
Our Language
Our Schedules
Time and Romance
Communication
Communication
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
Elevation
Elevation
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Deference
Deference
polite submission and respect.
Honor
11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Learn your wife's love language
13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
ESV13
14 Let all that you do be done in love.
ESV14 Let all that you do be done in love.