How to Love?

How do we love.

What is the most important Mitzvah? Love Adonai. What is the second Love your neighbor as yourself. We know these things on an intellectual level we can recite it up and down. All of the Mitzvot support one of these 2 Mitzvah. So how do we Love Adonai? We talk about this alot but I want us to define love according to Paul’s understanding and then ask the question again.

So let us begin by reading

4Love is patient,

I may fathom all mysteries, know all things,

love is kind,

it does not envy,

have all faith—enough to move mountains;

it does not brag,

it is not puffed up,

but if I lack love, I am nothing.

5it does not behave inappropriately,

it does not seek its own way,

Complete Jewish Bible Chapter 13

Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful,

5  not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered,

and it keeps no record of wrongs.

6  Love does not gloat over other people’s sins

but takes its delight in the truth.

7  Love always bears up, always trusts,

always hopes, always endures.

8  Love never ends; but prophecies will pass,

tongues will cease, knowledge will pass.

9  For our knowledge is partial, and our prophecy partial;

10  but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass.

Holy Scriptures: Tree of Life Version Chapter 13

4Love is patient,

love is kind,

it does not envy,

it does not brag,

it is not puffed up,

5it does not behave inappropriately,

it does not seek its own way,

it is not provoked,

it keeps no account of wrong,

6it does not rejoice over injustice

but rejoices in the truth;

7it bears all things,

it believes all things,

it hopes all things,

it endures all things.

8Love never fails—

but where there are prophecies,

they will pass away;

where there are tongues,

they will cease;

where there is knowledge,

it will pass away.

9For we know in part

and we prophesy in part;

10but when that which is perfect

has come,

then that which is partial will pass away.

3  I may give away everything that I own,

it is not provoked,

it keeps no account of wrong,

I may even hand over my body to be burned;

6it does not rejoice over injustice

but rejoices in the truth;

but if I lack love, I gain nothing.

7it bears all things,

4  Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful,

it believes all things,

it hopes all things,

5  not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered,

it endures all things.

and it keeps no record of wrongs.

8Love never fails—

but where there are prophecies,

6  Love does not gloat over other people’s sins

they will pass away;

where there are tongues,

but takes its delight in the truth.

they will cease;

where there is knowledge,

7  Love always bears up, always trusts,

it will pass away.

always hopes, always endures.

We are going to walk through these 1 idea at a time. You should know by now that I want to understand the practicle application of things. I just do not want to just discuss what we should do but I also want to present how we can do a thing. Please remember I am offering suggestions and not telling anyone we must show love like so.

9For we know in part

8  Love never ends; but prophecies will pass,

and we prophesy in part;

10but when that which is perfect

tongues will cease, knowledge will pass.

has come,

then that which is partial will pass away.

9  For our knowledge is partial, and our prophecy partial;

10  but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass.

Messianic Jewish Family Bible Society, Holy Scriptures: Tree of Life Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2015), 1 Co 13:4–10.

We are going to walk through these 1 idea at a time. You should know by now that I want to understand the practicle application of things. I just do not want to just discuss what we should do but I also want to present how we can do a thing. Please remember I am offering suggestions and not telling anyone we must show love like so.

We will begin with verse 4 Love is patient. So at first glance this may seem easy. Being Patient is just about waiting. So how are we to be patient with Adonai. I mean it is not as if we can force him to do anything or aggrivate him or something right? I do not know for certain. There are references to times in which Adonai sure does seem to become aggrivated with humanity as a whole and even individuals. So we know that can be done but is this what Paul is talking about when he says love is patient? If I where to ask you what does impatience look like you might describe a person with arms crossed, sour faced, tapping their foot, and answering in short sentances. If that person is waiting on you do you feel they are patient. If they are just being still and not doing any of those would you describe them as paitient? I would. What if they where joyfully encouraging you and telling you what a good job you are doing? Well that might be enthusiatic anticipation.

Are we being paitient with Adonai? Have prayed and asked him for something and we have not recieved it? Maybe we prayed for healing, for a loved one to find Yeshua, did we ask for deliverance from addiction or temptation, are we needing help with something financail or emotional, maybe we are just ready to move to the next stage of our life and it feels like forever and it will not get here fast enough. What ever it is we maybe waiting on how are we doing so in our heart? Arfe we tapping our foot? Maybe not be maybe we are standing still when we should be enthusiasticly anticipating the deliverance or answer to our prayers. Either way if the prayer is answered or not we have glorified Adonai by showing confidence in him.

Patient honestly means letting percieved slights or offences go. In other words when we apply patience we might have to let some one get away with it. Now of course no one can hold Adonai accountable as if he can committ an offence with us. Indeed we deserve what ever he chooses to do with us. That does not mean we deserve what ever happens with us. Please understand those are 2 different things. With other people, specifically our neighbors or family and friends we are to let things go. Sure there is a time and a place to adjust behavior but sometimes in the moment is not it. Sometimes when their mess gets on us, we help them clean it up rather than berate them for the mistake.

Next we have Love is Kind. Kindness gets so little attention. Yet in a moment when someone has shown us a kindness and done more for us or been helpful in the moment how do we feel. As one reads social media and articles about growing up or maturing we may encounter all sorts of ideas about how to make our mark on the world or leaving a legacy behind. Kindness might be the most effective and readily avaible method of making a difference in the world. With simple kindness we can change the course of history.

So how can we be kind to Adonai? What can we do for him who can do anything? Well what would you consider Kind? I know a lot of people in the world today, just want someone to listen to them. What if we could be kind to Adonai by simply listening to him. We can accomplish this in many ways. One might just sit and think about how wonderful Adonai is and appreciate his deliverance. We could read and study his Torah. Choose something daily just a verse and read it and think about it. Tell some one about it and discuss it. We could listen to music that sings of his works and ways.

With simple kindness we can change the course of history

What else would we consider kind? If you heard some one was speaking poorly of you and you had a friend near by and they also heard it would you want them to join in with those speaking ill of you or would you want your friend to leave those people alone and comfort you? We might also consider avoiding things that put Adonai down either directly or indirectly. Anything that tries to diminish Adonai is putting him down. Anything that tries to trivialize what he does is putting him down. Why would we want to participate in something like that? Cause it is fun or make believe or we want to fit in? How would you feel if those reasons where given to you from someone who was your friend? Would you say they where kind?

To be kind to someone means you want them to have happiness and joy even at your own expense. We should want Adonai to be happy and have joy even at our own expense. The world does not know Adonai and does not love Adonai. Therefore if the world is unkind to Adonai it will be unkind to us. We can trust that our Heavenly Father though is always kind to us. He sent us the Ruach Kodesh to comfort us, he sent his Torah to teach us, and he sent his own Son to lead us to him and be an example of how to live. Who can be any more kind to us than him? So in a way one my say we can be kind to Adonai by choosing him.

Next as we continue to read we see easily several things that are all very similar. The writer of Corinthians is Paul and was a pharisee. He lived and trained as a pharisee. So thought as a pharisee. So this section has a lot of Pharisaical thought in it. That is one commandment leads to another and like wise one transgression will lead to another. So as we read these things that love is not one can read it as one thing leading to another.

We might express these next few verses as Love is not Jealous but if you are jealous and satisfy that jealousy you might boast about it. If you are boasting (or a braggart) then you might become proud or puffed up. Being proud or puffed up will lead to rudeness or inappropriate behavior which is selfishness. All of this leads to an angry person as they will say nothing goes their way as they are the center of their way instead of Adonai being the center of their way. In the process of trying to fix it themselves they will keep record of wrong doings or they will keep a list of things done to them. Then when something bad happens to another person in their heart they will secretly take a delight in the other’s suffering. Does this sound like Yeshua ben Meshiach? Is this the influence of the Ruach Kodesh? Of course not and who would expect it to be? Elohim is love, these things are not love ergo these things are not of Elohim.

How much does this seem like our political climate? How much of this is the state of the world today? Is it any wonder that there is so much anger today? Look at the list of things that love is not and what is the end result anger and rejoicing over injustice. We are different and we will not follow that pattern and it will aggravate the world and the world will have a choice either change or resent us. I for one would rather be resented by the crowd for doing good than loved by the crowd for being like them.

So one might say how can we change this? What can we do? The best way to change the world is to change yourself. If there is a problem or absence in your home or your community then fill it by being the change. If we want these anti-love things to leave or families and communities then leave then remove them from yourself.

One might say sounds good where do I start. True to the pattern set in the scriptures, the correction can be found in the next verses. Love rejoices in truth. Here we see in some translations the word rejoice used twice. In the Greek 2 different words are used. The first word rejoice for “does not rejoice...” means calmly happy and is pronounced khah´ee-ro. Interestingly it was used as a salutation. A way of saying hello or good bye. The other rejoice is the word soong-khah´ee-ro and means to sympathize with gladness. So the idea expressed maybe love does not happily greet injustice but gladly sympathizes with truth. What if we lived this way. What if we mourned with people that had SINNED as they mourned for their SIN instead of saying things like “well what did you expect” or “ hopefully this will teach you”. Not that those things are not true and perhaps they need to be said. I am just saying what if we first mourned with them then expressed those ideas?

We continue on with the cure for anti-love in verse 7 we read it bears all things. What does this mean? I understand the words but how are we to bear all things? Is this like our bare hands or like a momma bear hand? I had to go to the Greek on this word as well to understand the meaning. In Greek the word for bear is steg´-o. and it means to cover with silence (endure patiently) or to suffer. In other words it means love will endure in silence even if it hurts.

I want us to take a moment to understand this is not talking about abuse. Enabling inappropriate behavior with silence is not OK. This is not love that is enablement of inappropriate behavior. We are talking about a counter to anti-love behavior of selfishness. Letting a person get their way and letting them be abusive is not countering anti-love it is enabling it. So anyone that is abused and thinks they are showing love by “bearing all things” is doing a disservice to themselves and the one they claim to love.

So if it is not that then what is the idea of this enduring in silence? Who has ever been aggravated? Who has ever met a person that at every encounter aggravates them like sand in your drawers or a rock in your shoe or nails on a chalk board? At the easy shallow understanding of this verse you are to love them and bear that silently and not try to change a quality that is not SINFUL or destructive just because you do not like it. You are to love that person as they are and be quiet about the rest. At a deeper meaning it is recognizing a person will hurt you eventually we are all broken and incomplete. We make mistakes. Sometimes a person may not even realize they hurt you. It could be a poor choice of words or not appreciating you appropriately or some offence. Was it on purpose? If not let it go. If it was on purpose, where they hurt, where they confused? We should try to understand that person and endure that. In a deeper level we might be treated as less than equals at different stages in our society and in life. We should endure that and be respectful still. Not that it is right to not be treated as an equal but we do not return offence with offence.

James Strong, A Concise Dictionary of the Words in the Greek Testament and The Hebrew Bible (Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software, 2009), 66.

As we endure things we are next called to believe all things. If we look at this shallowly it seems like we would be penniless and homeless in a hurry. What is this really saying? Let us look at this again from a perspective of curing anti-love. This type of believes all things can also be understood as trust. What the idea that maybe expressed here is love gives a person a chance. This is about not judging someone and allowing a person the opportunity to change or to prove themselves. We can see how this easily can be applied to our heavenly father.

We pray and make supplications to our heavenly father and we wait patiently and even expectantly. That is trusting him. That is trusting the answer will come even if we do not see how or where it may came. We can also see how this is the next reasonable step in overcoming hurt and restoring love with people. Without trusting others we do not have a chance to increase in love.

Consider when you have trusted someone and they came through for you. How did that affect your relationship? Did it improve? For the married couples when did you know that you would be happy to spend the rest of your life with your spouse? If you think hard I bet it was when you felt like you could really trust them and that was when they came through for you on something. As well when did they hurt you most? I bet it was when trust was broken. If you wanted to have a good meaningful discussion about your relationship and learn to love your spouse more ask them to tell you when they first felt they could trust you. What was it that led to that? As well if you want to be a better spouse to them you might cautiously ask them if or when they ever felt like you broke or came close to braking the trust between you. Do not defend yourself in this instance but endure in silence. Be prepared to weep and learn from it.

We then move in to hope. At first we see this word and we think this is simple. We hope for things all the time. Some people may hope we have yummy treats for our meal this afternoon. Some may hope for the lottery to go their way. Some may hope to make it another day. When we use hope in this way we kind of mean I do not know what is going to happen but it would be nice if it went my way. The word for hope in this verse is el-pid´-zo and it means to expect with confidence. It is a way of expressing the idea that a thing will happen though we do not have total control over it.

We hope in Yeshua showing us the way of Salvation. That is we confidently expect Yeshua shows us the way of Salvation. We confidently expect the Torah teaches us the commandments of Adonai. We confidently expect that at the end of our days we will be in his presence. We confidently expect that we are being changed in to a person that Adonai will be pleased with.

So how do we apply this to others with the idea of countering anti-love? So we have endured silently a persons offense, then we gave them a chance or trusted them, and now we confidently expect them in their good deeds. In other words we give them a chance to change or improve and we are confident they will.

In the end it seems like we get to a circle right? We arrive back at love endures. Well as you might expect this is not the same word in the Greek as bears and though bear is similar to endure we get a different idea. The Greek word is hoop-om-en´-o it is the combination of 2 words hoop and men-o and essentially translates abides in place. It is the idea that love will tarry behind and not wait on the straggler. Love abides. How powerful a phrase. Love does not leave anyone behind nor does it force them to hurry. Love waits on another.

Perhaps the best way to express the idea is 2 people getting married. One proposes to the other and the idea that is commonly expressed is if the other person says they are not ready then the one that asked should consider moving on. Love says that person if they truly love them will wait and not rush them. What about in our everyday life. Think of the parent and the child. As adults the parent has most likely a couple of decades of practice at life than the child. If they are both doing a task the parent will lovingly Tarry behind while the child is getting ready and not leave them. We could also think of 2 friends they are going to go out to an event before one can leave they must take care of some chore so one friend waits behind for the other rather than go on.

Now apply this idea to all sorts of places in life. Maybe you are ready to become more observant of a commandment and your spouse is not love abides. Perhaps you are ready to change some aspect of your life to remove a thing or move and someone you love is not, love abides. When a manner of speaking with Adonai what might this sound like? Maybe it sounds like “not when I say it should be but when you say it should be” or perhaps “Let not my will be done but your will be done”. That ultimate prayer and act of sacrifice shown in Yeshua our Messiah was the Ultimate act of love and it may be because it was the ultimate moment of when love abides.

How important is love? Well at the end of the verses we are told. Love never fails. just think about that. Why does it never fail? Because love is Elohim. We see this in

Holy Scriptures: Tree of Life Version Chapter 4

8The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

We cannot know Adonai without knowing love. We know Adonai never fails so we know love never fails. This should be a good litmus test for our behavior as well. If we are in a situation where love fails then we did not understand the situation or we did not see it correctly or something else happened.

We also see prophecies, tongues (language), and knowledge will all pass away. Love abides. All prophecies will eventually come to pass and when they come to pass they are done and we live in the reality that is present. Knowledge of the prophecy and knowledge of all things will eventually be shared and we will move past it so it will no longer be unique or taught. Love abides.

If we look at this another way, if we never had any idea or any inkling of a single prophecy or future event but we loved fully then we would have kept the whole Torah. If we are fully prepared for the end of the world or for any future prophecy and in the process we did not take time to show love or pursue love it would be wasted effort and we would not have kept any of the Torah. There are 100’s of Mitzvot about loving people and loving Adonai. There is nothing about understanding prophecy and surviving prophetic events.

As an individual, a family, a congregation and a community we should be investing as much of efforts in to loving Adonai and loving our neighbors. It should be the motivation for our study and the motivation for our secular work.

When we stand in front of the throne of judgement we will not be asked a single question about how we understood any prophecy or esoteric knowledge, but we will be held accountable for how we loved.