CULTIVATING CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY, PART 3

CULTIVATING CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY, PART 3 Philippians   1:3-11 Aug 15, 1999 Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introductory From author Josh McDowell comes the story about Mr. Benson, the new teacher for the 7th-8th grade boys Sunday School class. He decided "that his first lesson would be on the will of God. After teaching his heart out for forty-five minutes, he concluded the lesson with an application question: 'How can we know God's will for our lives today?' Most of his students studied their shoes or doodled on their worksheets in silence as they had throughout the class. But one boy with a confident grin eagerly shot up his hand. 'Yes, Donny,' Mr. Benson said expectantly. 'I think the best way to find God's will is to read the Bible and pray,' Donny said with assurance. 'Right on, Donny!' Mr. Benson exclaimed. The teacher went home that day rejoicing that he had gotten through to at least one of his students. The following Sunday, Mr. Benson taught about temptation, concluding, 'What's the best way for Christians to recognize temptation and say no to it?" Nobody seemed to have paid attention during the lesson, but again Donny's hand was up. 'Mr. Benson, if we read the Bible and pray every day, we won't give in to temptation.' Mr. Benson beamed with delight. 'Thank you Donny. You're right again.' The teacher left the class elated at his success. The topic for the third week was faith., 'How can we grow in our faith?' the teacher concluded his lesson, eyeing his star pupil. Donny didn't disappoint him. 'Read the Bible and pray, Mr. Benson; that's how faith grows.' Mr. Benson quietly assured himself that after only three weeks he was probably the most successful Sunday School teacher in the church. After class, Mr. Benson pulled Donny aside. 'I just want to thank you, Donny, for paying attention to the lesson and answering the key questions.' 'Oh, I don't pay attention in class,' Donny responded with seventh-grad honesty. 'I'm usually thinking about my baseball card collection and soccer scores just like all the other guys.' The teacher's expression twisted into something resembling a question mark. 'But you always come up with a thoughtful answer to my questions. You must be hearing something.' 'Mr. Benson, I've been in Sunday School since I was a baby,' Donny replied. 'The only thing I know is that "read the Bible and pray" is always the right answer.'" [Love is Always Right, by Josh McDowell and Norm Geisler--Word Publishing, 1996] Life is so uncomplicated for a Jr. Hi boy, isn't it? Did you ever wish that there was always one right answer for everything, whether you were dealing with difficult people, making a business decision, communicating with your family or working on your career? I don't want to be trite, and I don't want to oversimplify any issues in your life, but there really is a universal right answer--one thing that is always right to do. LOVE is the universal right answer, and the universal right thing to do, no matter what the circumstances. We've looked at Philippians 1:3-11 in two previous teachings, but I'd like for us to back into that text one more time, and focus on the topic of LOVE. In the first paragraph of two, Paul writes in a most self-revealing way about his love for the believers in Philippi. Truly, he had a remarkably close relationship with these Philippian Christians. Then, in verses 9-11, as he writes out the prayer he is currently praying for his fellow-believers, he says, And this is my prayer: that your LOVE may abound more and more... It should come as no surprise to us that Paul elevates the virtue of LOVE so highly as to make it his primary intercession for the Christians. It was Paul who wrote to the Corinthians that LOVE was the "more excellent way" and those famous words that everyone quotes and no one really understands, "Now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." It was that notorious church at Corinth who had not learned the most important lesson of all, Paul said, that the most important thing of all is behaving in LOVE. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not LOVE, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess t the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. How central is this virtue of love in the Bible? So central that when Jesus is asked to summarize the most important of all the commandments, He says, "LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength; and LOVE your neighbor as yourself." Basically, the message is this--If you can love God completely, and love others devotedly, you'll do everything right. LOVE is the universal right thing to do. Paul says the same thing. Galatians 5:6 - "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Later in the same chapter, "...serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Later still, "The fruit of the Spirit is...LOVE." The apostle John is so focused on LOVE that he writes a litany of texts on the topic, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit: "God so LOVED the world..." "Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." "Dear friends, let us love one another, because love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is LOVE." Now, knowing that we are to love one another is only the preface to the task of actually doing love for one another. Loving others cannot remain just a glib acknowledgement ("I love you, man!"); nor can it be so superficial it doesn't mean anything ("Sure I love everybody!"). Paul told the Roman believers, "Love must be sincere." Apparently there is a way to love IN sincerely--which, of course is not love at all. If we are commanded to love one another, and love, to be love, must be sincere (real), and it is possible to love INsincerely, then we would be safe in deducing that love is something that must be developed, sought out, worked at. It's something we are called to DO and do WELL (sincerely). This sounds like it's getting harder and harder. We know that, clearly, love is a fruit of the Spirit--that is, as we walk obediently in the Holy Spirit, our ability to love others "happens". That's nice to know, isn't it? Basically, God is going to get it to happen in us, right? Well-ll-ll.... It's not that easy, is it? Loving others is also a command. I mean, if it was all a rather automatic thing for Christians, then I have a couple of questions: 1) Why did Jesus say, "A new commandment I am giving to you, that you should love one another." (John 13:34) "This is my command: Love each other as I have loved you." If it's automatic, why are we commanded to do it? 2) Why did the apostles find themselves praying for, and reminding the believers to whom they wrote, that they should love one another? Here's a great one from the pen of Peter: (1 Peter 1:22) "Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, LOVE ONE ANOTHER DEEPLY FROM THE HEART!" 3) Thirdly, if loving one another is automatic for Christians, why are we so often not doing it? Most of the time we find it very difficult to love one another like we are commanded to do. And, frankly, most of us are not making it any easier for the others to love us! Oh, to live above with the saints we love, that will be glory--but to live below with the saints we know, well, that's another story! Frederick the Great once said, "The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog!" Someone once described human beings as porcupines--they know they need the closeness of others, but as soon as they draw close, the stick one another with their needles and drive each other away. God has called forth a community of redeemed people and intentionally designed them to live in community with one another. How they love one another is to be to the watching world the single most powerful witness of God in their presence. Jesus said, "By this will all men know that you are My disciples--if you have LOVE for one another." Permit me to distill the gist of some 700 verses in the Bible that talk about love and give a simple, working definition of what love is: Love wills and works for the good of the one loved. Love is making the health, happiness, and growth of another person as important to you as your own. So, what was Paul praying for when he prayed that the love of the Philippian believers would "abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight"? He was praying for this to happen--for the Philippian believers in community with one another to not put themselves first. This is the way to cultivate Christian community! In 2:5, he will urge, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." The German philosopher Immanuel Kant put forth what he called the "categorical imperative" - that is, there is one basic moral absolute--to do the right thing, and the right thing is what you could will that everyone to do under the same circumstances. He said you simply should ask concerning each action, "Do I want the guideline behind my action to become a universal law?" Not bad for a philosopher who had problems believing in God! What he came up with was simply distillation of Jesus' Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!" Treat others right--the way you want to be treated. Here is what we are called to do in Christian community - discern what is best to do by putting yourself in the shoes of the people involved and ask, "What is the best I could wish for if it were me?" That's not a hard question to get an answer for. And that's one question I am confident the Holy Spirit is always ready to answer clearly for you. Once you think you know the answer, do the best you have opportunity and ability to do. In Romans 13:1 Paul wrote, "Let no debt remain outstanding except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellow man has fulfilled the law...the commandments are summed up in this one rule: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" I find this helpful--to think of love as something that, in the Christian economy, I owe to others around me. If love is a debt, what exactly do we owe others, once we find ourselves saved by the love of God and brought into the redeemed community of the church? I see two areas of practical love toward one another in Christian community which make love PRACTICAL. Encouragement One practical outworking of Christian love is encouragement. Loving people are always speaking encouraging words to others. Things like, "Hey, you're doing a great job!" or "I'm glad you're my brother in Christ" or "I noticed how you served that need or that person--I was blessed--keep up the good work!" Man does not live by bread alone--he also needs a little buttering up! 1 Thessalonians 5 exhorts believers to "encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing" and specifically to "encourage the faint-hearted (or "timid") and help the weak." There is no more powerful demonstration of Christian love than to respond in a time of need in another's life. May I take just one more opportunity to say again how proud I am of this congregation. To tap into email connections and find that cyberville is full of volunteers saying, "Yes, we'll bring a meal to this family who experienced a trauma, or had a baby, or has someone quite sick." To watch cell groups surround someone who has experienced a set-back or who is downhearted about something, is a study in New Testament love. The great author and social prophet, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, spent much of his adult life in a soviet Siberian prison. It was there he wrote his momentous The Gulag Archipelago. But it was there he also nearly gave up and died. The hard labor, the terrible conditions and the brutally inhumane treatment had taken its toll on many and were about to do him in. One day it all seemed to climax for him. He knew the guards would beat him severely if he stopped working. Knowing that in his weakened condition such a beating would probably kill him, he planned a sort of suicide--he stopped working and just leaned on his shovel. But a fellow Christian working beside him noticed what he was doing, and he reached over with his shovel and quickly drew a cross at the feet of Solzhenitsyn, then erased it before the guards saw it. He later wrote that his entire being was energized by that little reminder of the hope and courage we find in Christ. He found strength because a brother did what little he could do to encourage. You metro-east family members are so good at this encouraging form of love. I've watched faces of depressed individuals light up because of an act of kindness done for them among this family of Christ. Entire households have been turned around by small but sincere gestures of encouragement. I just want to use Paul's words, "Encourage one another, and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing!" And I especially challenge those whose hearts are set to inspire and encourage others, but you are feeling insecure about your ability to help. Grow through that fear. Believe me, the tender, sincere deeds you have locked inside you will be used by the Holy Spirit to bring life to others. Speak those words of encouragement when you sense you should--don't be afraid. it is God who is at work within you, inspiring you to help someone else. Don't rob someone else who is in need of the encouragement God wants to send their way just because you are shy or afraid it won't mean anything to the other person. Proverbs 25:11 - "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Encouragement is an area of practical love in the community of believers. It is godly and righteous behavior to speak or act in a person's life to bring them encouragement. Here's a little exercise that we all ought to make a habit. Before you arrive at Celebration on Sunday morning, take about five minutes to ask the Holy Spirit to help you find encouraging words and deeds to sow into the lives of those you will encounter when you come into this assembly. Then, when you arrive, study the faces of those you see and listen to that still, small voice of the Spirit about what you can say to each person that will truly encourage them. We are commanded to "meet together" and "stir one another up to love and good works" "encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day approaching." You will be amazed at how much God will give you to say and to do to encourage those around you. Do the same thing before you attend your next cell meeting. Ask the Lord to lead you and help you in encouraging every other person in your cell, including the children. Edification The other practical love assignment the Lord impresses me to share with you today is that of edification - "building each other up". And I feel I should focus on the edification that comes through our speech. We each have within us a power from the Holy Spirit to build others up by what we say. We also have tremendous power by what we say to destroy others or bring them down. Paul said in Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who hear." Did you catch that? Train your speech so that EVERYTHING you say will edify anyone who hears you. You know, that will automatically cut out about 75% of what we might have said today. If we would each determine to only say what will build others up we can instantly see the church leap forward in maturity. Notice what Paul said, say what will edify others, according to their needs. That means that we are obligated to bless one another, to exhort one another, to inspire one another to holiness and even to correct one another. Sometimes I need my brothers and sisters in Christ to come around me with encouraging words of blessing. But I know that sometimes I need a kick in the butt! Let me ask you, can a corrective word to someone who is not behaving Christianly EDIFY that person? You bet it does! Just be sure to do it in love. Remember Ephesians 4:15, "...speaking the TRUTH in LOVE, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." I have a couple of specific exhortations here that I am under orders to share with you, the body of Christ. 1) Do not gossip. Never carry a bad report about anyone to anyone else. Why? Very simply, you will neither edify the person about whom you are speaking nor the person to whom you are speaking. That's it--just don't do it! if a brother or sister is caught up in sin or wrong behavior, it is your duty and privilege to go directly to the person and EDIFY him with corrective words. Talking about someone, whether or not the material you are handling is true, without talking to that person, is wrong, it does not edify, and it is sin. One further word, when you are conversing with a brother or sister who is gossiping about another person, you are duty-bound in Christ to confront the sin of gossip (in love). As you do, you accomplish two edifying things: first, you stop the destruction of the person being talked about; and secondly, you edify the person you are correcting by helping them toward more edifying speech and behavior. Once I was caught talking about another person (let's call her Maria) in a derogatory manner. The brother I was speaking to simply said this to me: "That's funny--Maria speaks so highly of you!" Ouch! We are obligated to edify everyone, especially those who hear us speak, so gossip is out of the question on two counts. Do not gossip. Is there not an appropriate time to talk with a third person about someone's errant behavior? Yes. After you have talked to the person in question, and you have done so prayerfully and lovingly. Then, if you are not received or responded to very well, take it to another brother or sister who can help the errant person. Here is what qualifies as a person who can help. It must be a person who KNOWS the individual, who LOVES the individual, who is SPIRITUALLY MATURE, whom you can trust to PRAY AND HOLD HIS TONGUE, and someone you sincerely believe CAN HELP THE PERSON, by going with you to lovingly correct. That immediately wipes out the twenty or so people you'd just LOVE to go and tell, doesn't it? 2) Speak honestly. At all costs, avoid half-truths, exaggerations, and fruitless jesting. So much of what we say just isn't true. We stretch the truth, we hide issues, and we hide ourselves in so much of our conversation. When you walk away from most conversations, do you honestly feel edified? More importantly, do you feel you edified the person with whom you spoke? If not, what good was your encounter? When you walk away from an edifying exchange, you feel good, you feel right, you feel "Christian" (Christ-like). You'll know when you walk away from a less-than-edifying exchange: you feel less-than-honorable, regretful of what was said (or not said), you feel manipulated (or manipulative), and you feel like basically you just wasted your time. How do you fix your speech to make it always edifying? 1. Get clean before God. Confess any unconfessed sin and get purged. Pray David's prayer, "Search me, O God, and see if there is any wickedness in me." Once you are transparent before God you can be transparent with others. Some people, even Christians, are so busy hiding their true selves, you never seem to get past the screen door with them. Conversation is always superficial or trivial. You never make a connection. Christian community is all about making meaningful connection with others in the faith. 2. Pray for the person you are conversing with. Quietly, in the Spirit, ask the Lord to bless the person, and to use you and any words He might give you for that person. It is amazing how uplifting and edifying a conversation can be when you are praying for the person while you visit! Talk with Jesus: "Lord, I want to edify this person. Help me. Give me the right attitude, the right words, the right gestures; give me your leading; Lord, be in the middle of our encounter here." Or, depending on who you are talking with, your prayer might be something like, "Lord, I have a hard time liking this person, and you know it. But I want to relate to them like you relate to them, and I want this exchange to edify them (and me). Help me. 3. Practice full disclosure of yourself. Don't hide your "self" from the other person. Be totally honest (though not ruthless). If you are asked your opinion about something, tell the person the truth, with gentleness and respect. Avoid the temptation to tell the person what you think he wants to hear for the sake of maintaining peace. Be ready to admit your faults; stay humble before the lord, and you will have no trouble being humble before others. 4. Lastly, spend most of your time around people who do these things. You will be edified, and you will learn the art of edifying speech. In conclusion, let me share with you an agreement that all those in key leadership positions here at MECF have bought into. This is what we call our "Covenant of Leadership Unity". All of our Leadership Team, our individual Team Leaders, and our Cell Leaders have actually signed a copy of this covenant. We corporately recognize that encouraging and edifying begins with us as examples. COVENANT OF LEADERSHIP UNITY Loving the Lord Jesus and His church, I agree to walk in the following biblical principles, committing to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, in order to help MECF fulfill the Great Commandment (Mark 12:28-31) and the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20). 1. I commit to loving one another (John 13:34-35). I will begin by remembering that the love of god, which is the fruit of the Holy spirit (Galatians 5:22), has been poured out into my heart by the Spirit (Romans 5;5). Out of this love I will care for my brothers and sisters in Christ at MECF, and I will seek to bless and edify them in every way. 2. I commit to praying joyfully for MECF (Ephesians 6:18). I will pray regularly and fervently for my leaders, for all my brothers and sisters in Christ, for the direction and goals of MECF and for those who are not yet in Christ, that they would come to a knowledge of the truth. 3. I commit to doing the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). I will openly and honestly share my feelings while honoring others' feelings. I will speak only the truth in my dealings with others, but will always do so in love. I will look not only to my own interests, but will strive to do what is best for the church, in accordance with the truth (Philippians 2:1-8). 4. I commit to edifying with my speech (Ephesians 4:23-32)/ I will bless those who hear me speak, and bless those about whom I speak. I will avoid "triangling," not giving passive assent to griping or emotional dumping on other believers by receiving bad reports. I will always direct offended parties to their offenders, encouraging them to carry out the reconciliation called for in Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15-17. 5. I commit to peaceful decision-making (Acts 6;5-7; 15:22, 30-31). When I am part of a decision- making process, I will be honest with my opinions, promote healthy dialogue and strive for a united decision. Knowing some decisions are urgent, I will cooperate with a "redeemed democracy," and publicly support the decision of the group. If I have recurring struggles with the decision, I will discuss it only within the group and not with others outside the group. 6. I commit to maintaining healthy relationships (Romans 12:9-21). I will seek to be at peace with all and encourage others to do the same. When I discover that I have offended another, I will: a) ask God to search my own heart and lead me in the way of reconciliation (Psalm 139:23-24), then b0 take the initiative to privately approach the offended party, confess my failure, ask forgiveness and seek reconciliation (Matthew 5:23-24) When I discover that I have been offended by another, I will: a) ask God to search my own heart and lead me in the way of reconciliation (Psalm 139:23-24), then b) take the initiative to go to the offender, reveal my feelings about the offense, and seek understanding and reconciliation with sincere apology. Or, when appropriate, I will release the offense to God and remain silent about the issue lest I become an offender. 7. I commit to serving faithfully in my role (1 Peter 4:10; Romans 12:3-8). I agree to my role in leadership and the job description I have been assigned, and I will strive to carry out my responsibilities as a good steward,, and in a timely fashion (1 Corinthians 4:2). I will honor and defer to those who are over me in the Lord (Hebrews 13;17; 1 Thessalonians 5;12-13). ______________________________ ____________________ NAME LEADERSHIP ROLE ______________________________ ____________________ SIGNATURE DATE Conclusion In Japan, you can rent a family, according to an article in the Houston Post. Elderly Japanese who are isolated from their children by the frantic pace of modern life can rent a "family" for lunch and a few hours. Just call Nippon Kikasei Honbu (Japan Effectiveness Headquarters) and ask for a son, daughter, grandchild, whatever relative you want, and that type will show up at your door and greet you as if they haven't seen you in years. Of course, the service isn't cheap - three hours with your "virtual family" cost $1,130 plus mileage. Satsuki Ohiwa deemed it a success. Ohiwa's observation of the recipients is not surprising. She said, "What is common about our clients is that they are thirsty for human love." Let us thank the Lord that He has given us a Christian family in our church and our cell groups to augment, and, in some cases, to replace, our families of origin. Thank Him that in the family of God there is the promise, the potential and the power to find genuine relationships that are grounded in faith, truth and love. Thank Him for the clear and exact instruction we find in the Word about how our love can abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that we may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God.         [Back to Top]