New Year's Resolutions for the Grieving

Instead of the old kind of New Year's resolutions we used to make and break, let's make some this year and really try and keep them:

1. Try not to imagine the future; take one day at a time.

2. Allow yourself time to cry, both alone and with your loved ones.

3. Don't shut out other family members from your thoughts and feelings. Share the difficult times. You may all become closer for it.

4. Try to be realistic about your expectations of yourself, your spouse, other family members and friends. If each of us is unique and different, how can there be perfect understanding?

5. When a good day comes, relish it. Don't feel guilty and don't be discouraged, because it doesn't last. They will come again and multiply.

6. Take care of your health. Even though the mind might not care, a sick body will only compound your troubles. Drink lots of water, take stress-type vitamins, rest (even if you don't sleep) and get moderate exercise. Help your body to heal as well as your mind.

7. Share your feelings with other compassionate friends and let them share with you. You will find that as you begin caring about the pain of others, you will begin to come out of your shell-a very healthy sign.

These are from a lady named Mary, TCF, Valley Forge, PA -- this article was published in SHARE: when you've faced the loss of a chiled (Winter 2007), published by Blessing Hospital