MINISTERING TO MOM

MINISTERING TO MOM With grateful acknowledgement of these sources of direction and inspiration: the Holy Spirit; the Word of God; James Dobson, Motherhood: It Helps If You Smile; Jean Fleming, A Woman of Influence; Allison Pearson, I Don't Know How She Does It; Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew May 11, 2003 Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introduction Isn't it nice when you get a good report about your children? About the time you're ready to give up as a parent and throw in the towel, someone says to you out of the clear blue, "Your son is such a blessing! He's so courteous and helpful!" or "I so appreciate your example as a parent-your daughter is such a sweet, sensitive young lady!" You turn to see if there's someone standing behind you, to whom this person must obviously be speaking because it doesn't seem to describe your child. But you're surprised that it is you they're talking to. The next explanation in your attempt to make sense of the seemingly misplaced compliment is that they must have your child confused with someone else's child. No, they say, they know your child and that's who they're talking about. Your last effort at clearing up the matter before deciding the problem must be that this adult is delusional-you turn the person around and say, "You mean that boy, the one over there with the torn shirt, dirty jeans, who's getting ready to skateboard down those six flights of concrete steps?" "Sure, he's your son, isn't he?" "Oh, uh, yes-Yes, we're quite proud of him. And thank you for the compliment." I can remember when our daughters were younger and they began babysitting for others. We would get these wild reports from their employers about how wonderful they were. The kids were bathed and in bed on time, they cleaned the house and not only did they clean the dishes, they emptied the dishwasher and put everything away. I thought I knew these kids! They never got themselves in bed on time. I knew these girls and knew positively they had secretly joined a cult, the first commandment of which read vaguely like this: "Thou shalt not clean thy room". And I was pretty sure they had never even seen a dishwasher, let alone known how to operate one. These are the things you remember as a parent. Compliments on your kids-things you never were able to notice because you were too close, too involved and too caught up in whether or not their ears were clean and if they would say "thank you" when they got a gift. These are the things that moms, like Mary, treasure in their hearts all their lives. Thank God for moms. They have hearts big enough to collect such treasures and store them for other times when we're 11 years old and we act like a 5-year old, and she doesn't scold this time because she's actually remembering the 5-year old days. Moms develop that special communication, and with just their eyes they can reprimand, or say anything from "I love you" to "Take those muddy shoes off right now!" to "I'm so proud of you." When we're teenagers and we know it all and we're mature adults now, but suddenly we were left out by our friends, and she is there to give you one more soft, mama-hug, and it feels better. Why does it work so well? Because she has a heart stuffed with all those treasures. Or when you got your diploma and you saw her crying behind the camera and you said, "Ah, mom, don't cry!" but you'd be disappointed if she didn't. Chapter two of Luke is about all we have in terms of a record of Jesus' young life. And it's an ever so brief list of some of the things that His mother Mary stored in her heart. A teenager when this son was born, the center of such controversy surrounding her most unusual conception, Mary kept lots of treasures in her heart. The long, uncomfortable ride to Bethlehem (no wonder the baby was born right after they arrived!), the manger crib, the strange visit by the shepherds and all their talk of angels and glorifying God . . . No wonder verse 19 says, "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Then, when they presented Jesus for consecration at the Temple, there were those two old prophets, Simeon and Anna. Mary had thought so many times about what they said over the baby that she had it memorized. Mary was nervous when the old man came up to them and just took the baby. He said, "Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all the people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel." (Luke 2:29-32) But when he turned and spoke directly to Mary, she was stunned by his message: "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too." (Luke 2:34b-35) This is what she carried in her heart for 33 years. Then the sword found its mark. Then there was Anna, the aged prophetess who was so well known because she was always at the Temple worshiping, fasting and praying. Her attention was riveted on Jesus, and she got everyone she could to come and see the baby, going on and on with loud prayers of thanks and how this child was the Savior. You don't forget events like this. You treasure them in your heart while your child grows. But perhaps the most memorable event in Jesus' growing up years was when he was twelve. The family went up to the Temple for the Feast of the Passover, but Jesus stayed behind when they left for home. It was an entire day before Joseph realized he wasn't with Mary, and Mary noticed he wasn't with Joseph. These are the moments when parents are paralyzed with fear and worry. Believing and hoping the boy was still in Jerusalem, they turned and went back. It must have been a difficult trip. Mary probably thought to herself that harm had come to her son-maybe this was the sword that would pierce her heart. Altogether it was three days before someone told them they thought he might be at the Temple among the scribes and rabbis. Now, I'm a dad and a grandpa, and my guess is that the relief Mary and Joseph felt at finding Jesus quickly turned to anger. We glibly read verse 48, "When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, 'Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you." But I think a good translation of this verse might be more like this: "When they finally found him they said to one another, 'So there he is! What in the world is he doing here? Settle down, Joseph-let's not make a scene-just go get him and we'll take him to the court of the Gentiles and talk with him there.' Once they got him, his mother (not Joseph, but Mary) said to him, 'Boy, what do you think you're doing?!' Your father and I have been worried sick. We've been looking all over Palestine for you! What do you have to say for yourself?'" What Jesus said then was to be another deposit of treasured memories to store in Mary's heart. "'Why were you searching for me?' he asked. 'Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?'" (Luke 2:49) Don't worry about not knowing whether this was a little bit smart-alecky answer or an innocent response of a pre-adolescent boy who just got caught up in something that interested him and lost track of everything else. How many of you know a 12-year old boy who's done that? I mentioned not to worry if you don't understand what Jesus was saying or with what kind of an attitude he spoke these words, because apparently Mary and Joseph didn't know either. Verse 50: "But they did not understand what he was saying to them." Some of those things moms keep stored in their hearts are just questions, aren't they? Whatever else was going on, Jesus was at least beginning to get a glimpse of the full dimensions of his calling. He was strangely drawn into these discussions with the learned teachers. The text says he was "listening to them and asking them questions" [webmasters note: Luke 2:46] He loved the Word of God, and discussing it with these scholars was a fulfilling experience for him. "Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished…" (Luke 2:47-48a) What was it that astonished his mother that day? Was it his adroit discussion of spiritual matters-at a level well beyond his years? Was it the mere sight of him sitting with these teachers and wondering how he could have stayed there three days? Or was it that she knew her son's destiny and she was surprised to see him engaging it at the early age of 12? Were those prophecies from 12 years ago already beginning to come to pass? Was he ready? Was she ready? One girl returned from second grade class one day and surprised her mother when asked if she learned anything. She said they had learned how to make babies. Mother gulped and sheepishly asked, "And how do you make babies, Megan?" It's easy. You just drop the "y" and add "ies"! Tom won a toy at a raffle. Then he had to decide what he would do with it since he had three children. He called them together and asked, "OK, who is the most obedient? Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?" Three voices answered in unison, "Okay, Dad, you get the toy!" When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. Diane's 4-year old son overheard his mom's private conversations. One day Diane and her young son were shopping, and a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Yes!" he said, "and I know what we're going to name it, too!" "Really?" asked the lady. "Yes, if it's a girl, we're going to call her Christian, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!"Or the boy whose mother was expecting, and who thought he had memorized the right answer, to the question, "Do you want a boy or girl?" He proudly answered, "We don't care if it's a boy or a girl-just as long as it's wealthy!" While we know from the scriptures that Jesus never sinned, there might have been some childish irresponsibility in the Jerusalem debacle, because almost as a contrast, verse 51 says, "Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them." That almost seems to imply that he was less than obedient on the occasion of his staying behind at the Temple. You can have fun discussing that one in your cell meeting this week. Next in verse 51 comes that statement again: "But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." Mary represents for us the truth of what a mother is. She understands - Moms have a unique ability to pick up on what's going on in their children's lives. It is innate to their feminine nature. How many of you thought you were getting away with stuff when you were younger, only to find out years later that your mother knew it all along? "For Better or Worse" is a comic strip about a mother and dad and two kids, and it's realistic. In one episode, the first three frames show the mother tossing and turning in her bed, worrying about her ten-year-old son, Michael. She says, "Are we too tough on Michael? Are we not tough enough? Do we give in too often? Too seldom? Do we listen? Do we understand? Maybe I nag too much. Am I a good parent? Where are the answers? How does one know what to do?" In the last box we see Michael lying awake in his bed saying, "Trouble with grown-ups is they think they know everything." Today, let's give thanks to God for building that special intuitive sense into the heart and mind of the one we call mom. Thank God that she has the calling and ability to treasure the important things in her heart. And thank God that while we're growing up, there is this warm and caring nurturer who is there to remind us of all that is good and right, who cries with us and for us, who smiles and heals a million hurts. She is the emotional center for her children - I Don't agree with all the father bashing that goes on in literature, films and television these days. Everyone from media to sitcoms portrays the dad of the family as a bumbling fool who is always getting straightened out by his kids. That's plain wrong. But there is a grain of truth to the idea that dads are not the emotional leaning post for their kids as is mom. She is the dispenser of hugs and tender care in the family. William Thackery said, "Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children." Another writer put it this way: "Mothers are everywhere: in maternity wards, over ironing boards, teaching three-year-olds "Jesus loves Me," up and around while the rest of the family is down with the flu, championing causes, kissing where it hurts, perspiring over math with a frustrated child, looking daggers at the umpire who has called her child out on strikes, popping corn at the school festival, on her knees with an open Bible, taking away privileges, giving privileges, pushing piano practice and watching bittersweetly as her child says "I do". "Being a mother is such a demanding task that God has entrusted it only to females. There is no experience so costly, so rewarding, so aging, and so exciting as being a MOTHER." She is the family historian - Charlotte is our faithful caretaker of the family photo albums. If it were left to me, there would be no surviving evidence that anyone in our family ever existed at all. But she is always tenderly cropping photos and writing notes to help us all remember the important events and seasons that helped us become the family we are. Moms are good at that because they have a heart, like Mary, that is prepared to store treasured memories. When there is a question about when something occurred, I never remember well. While I quickly give up trying to recall details, Charlotte is staring upwards muttering something like, "Well, it was the year that Krista did pom-pons in Jr Hi, and Heather was at East-it was when she had Mr. McHaney for physical education…" I am grateful that God gave Charlotte a treasure trove for a heart, and that He gave her to us. Mary was like that, too. Do you know how Luke got his information for the writing of this gospel? He interviewed Mary and others who knew Jesus personally during His earthly ministry. She remembered the details of the Shepherds' visit and every trip to the Temple. Who else could have told Dr. Luke, the historian, what Simeon or Anna said, verbatim? How do we treat this special person we call mother? The Bible says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord…" (Ephesians 6:1) The Bible also says that we are to honor and submit to those who are in authority, and I would simply remind anyone who is living under the same roof with your parents, you are under divine obligation to respect and honor your parents. Give your mother the love and obedience she deserves. The Bible says that Christians are to love, encourage, bless, forgive, prefer and build up one another in Christ. May I suggest that you start with your mother? If you can't do it at home, you won't be able to do it in the rest of the church family! And I would add one more exhortation: pray for your mother. In fact, I want us to spend a few minutes in prayer for moms and other women among us. I will lead and I invite you to join me in faith as we pray for some categories of women this morning. I encourage you that if you're sitting near your mother or your wife, grab her hand or slip your arm around her and communicate that you mean it before God as you pray for her. Prayer for: • Those whose mothers are deceased, some dying in this past year. • Mothers of very young children, new moms, questioning inexperience. • Mothers who've outlived one or more of their children. • Mothers of pre-adolescent children. • Mothers of teen-agers, (teen-aged mothers) • Mothers with empty nests, mothers with regrets, worries over children. • Women who wish they could be mothers, but for some reason, can't. • Women who became mothers, but gave up children (abortion, adoption.) • Single moms and the special challenges they face. • Moms who need to forgive, be forgiven.     [Back to Top]