THE GREAT SPIRITUAL INFLUENCE OF A MOTHER

THE GREAT SPIRITUAL INFLUENCE OF A MOTHER 2 Timothy 1:5 With grateful acknowledgement of these sources of direction and inspiration: the Holy Spirit; the Word of God; the memory of my own mother, Sue Anderson; Focus on the Family newsletters; "The Influence of a Christian Mother" by Billy Graham May 9, 2004 Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introductory Thinking of Mother's Day, we remember the influence they've had on us. I'm always delighted how kids pick up the funniest details when they're listening to their parents talk with other adults. They'll often get things mixed up just a little bit as they go to repeat it. One little boy was asked, when found out his mother was expecting, "Do you want a little boy or girl?" Ryan had heard of course the proverbial answer to this dozens of times, and so he replied dutifully, "We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, just as long as it's wealthy!" A grandmother was at a birthday party for her little three-year old grandson. Little Bobby opened up a big box from grandma and found a giant water gun. He squealed with delight, and ran to fill it up with H20. Mom, however, wasn't so happy. She looked - leered - at grandma and said, "Mother, don't you remember when we played with water guns how crazy it made you?" Grandma smiled and said, "Oh yes, I remember." Abraham Lincoln said, "All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw," George Washington said. "All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." It almost makes you wonder what it was like when these famous people were little kids and the things that transpired. I wonder what their mothers said to them that made such a lasting impression. Paul Revere's mother probably said, "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!" And Mona Lisa's mother no doubt said, "After all the money your father and I spent on those braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?" And Michelangelo's mother, "Mike, why don't you paint on the walls like other kids? Don't you know how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?" Napoleon's mother no doubt said, "All right, Napoleon. If you're NOT hiding your report card under your jacket, then take your hand out and prove it!" And, of course, my favorite. Albert Einstein's mother probably said, "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair - styling gel, mousse, something?" Thomas Edison's mother probably said to him, "Of course I'm proud that you invented the light bulb, Thomas. Now, turn off that light and go to sleep!" And Jonah's mother, "That's a nice story, son, but now tell me where you've REALLY been for the last three days." 2nd Timothy, Chapter 1, verse 5 will be our text. We have here in 2nd Timothy a dramatic setting, really. Paul, the writer, was late in life after some 30+ years of ministry. He's an old man by the standards of that era. He'd done more than any other single human being in history, even since then, to advance the cause of the gospel in the world. He has trained hundreds of Christian leaders by this time. One of those whom he trained and discipled personally is a young man named Timothy. Probably nearing middle age at this point, Timothy served as an intern and a helper to Paul from a fairly young age. After many years, Paul gave him what must have been the ultimate honor to Timothy - he appointed him pastor of the church at Ephesus. The church at Ephesus was not just any church, but one that Paul loved and where he personally spent over three years ministering. Paul handed the reigns to Timothy. Both of the books in the New Testament with Timothy's name in the title were personal letters from the apostle Paul to the younger prot?? encouraging him and giving him direction, insights and suggestions for his ministry. Now Paul is old. He is in prison in Rome. Apparently, he feels like he's going to die imminently. This letter, he knows, is his last one to Timothy, his child in the faith. He had hoped that Timothy might be able to come and see him in prison before he died, but those hopes are vanishing quickly. His last remembrance of Timothy, then, was when he stopped in Ephesus to say goodbye to the church and to the elders. You'll find that occasion recorded in Acts 20. There in verses 36-38, the Bible records, "[Paul] knelt down with all of them…" This included Timothy. "They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again." Paul recalls that event now, with great emotion, in verses 3 and 4 of 2nd Timothy 1. There he writes to Timothy, "I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy." Then Paul reminisces a little bit in verse 5, which is our text this morning. There the Bible records, "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." I believe there's an important connection between the maternal sincere faith of grandma and mom and that which resided in Timothy. We know nothing else about these two women, Lois and Eunice - nothing. But, reading verse 5, we know plenty about them. It is so true, the powerful influence that a mother has on her children. That continues, Charlotte and I are learning personally, when you're a grandparents. In their formative years, children need this maternal influence. This should come as no surprise to us who are students of scripture, however. The Bible has, for centuries, instructed humanity about the crucial role of a mother and a father in the family and the home. You see, Lois influenced Eunice, and sincere faith was caught and sent into the next generation. Eunice (and Lois) influenced Eunice's son, Timothy, and faith was passed along to another generation. Now I hear people make a big deal about "generational curses." They always want to talk about that spooky realm that we really know nothing about - it's mostly conjecture. But we make a big deal of it. How about spending even more time talking about generational blessings? How about emphasizing the biblical truth that a mom can pass along a living, sincere faith to her child? Isn't that much more powerful than these alleged curses? In fact, it overcomes curses. Let's be positive people; let's get away from some of that spooky, weird stuff, and let's stick to the Word where a Lois and a Eunice actually transmit sincere faith to their children. How many of you this morning are grateful that a mother helped you into a sincere faith? I know you are. Thank God for them. Sometimes even mothers who themselves are not people of faith can help their children through discipline, through good instruction and moral teaching to come to an understanding of their need for a Savior. Some people with mean moms were driven to prayer because of the circumstances at home, and they found the Lord out of desperation! You know, in spite of what's going on in the courts today - and it is a travesty what is even being suggested, let alone voted upon in our courts - the suggestion that homosexual so-called "marriage" ought to be legal. Please call your US Senators and representative and tell them how stupid you think that is. Just say, "I can't believe you're even considering this." While you're at it, call your state Senators this week and tell them, "Stem cell research is a mistake - don't do it! It's a slippery slide. Please!" And that's your Senators here in the state of Illinois! They're voting on that here in the state of Illinois. It's alarming how far we can go when our head is turned for an instant. The institution of marriage according to the One who created it and designed it, is based on the love of one man for one woman for a lifetime. The couple, out of reverence for the Lord and commitment to one another, marry one another, which is HUGE - it is not incidental; it's not just a slip of paper. It's a commitment under God to serve one another in His grace and strength - to marry for life AND (we forget this, even though the Bible makes it a priority) that union symbolizes the love that Christ has for the church. One of the reasons God set it up that way is because children need a dad and children need a mom. You see it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure this out. God set it up that way for a reason. We'd like to ignore that, because somebody has some wild, hair-brained idea that goes counter to God's will and suddenly this minority is so important, we've just got to do everything to make them happy. Pray for common sense in our government. Mother is particularly important for the child's development, especially up to age seven. Research is piling in now because suddenly the universities and those in charge of these studies are taking seriously the questions about parental influence. And, by the way, do you know why they're taking it seriously? They're looking at statistics and directions that kids and families are moving, and they are scared. Over and over again, research is proving the very important place of parents-and especially moms in early childhood development. Of course, you don't need research. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to know how much a child needs a mother. I mean, "duh!" you know. From the first moment of birth - the suckling, the nurturing, the care, the face of recognition, the attachment at the bonding - my goodness, it is purely idiotic to overlook that! Nurture is a calling, and God gave that nurturing to dads and moms to serve children so they become healthy dads and moms to more children. And we replenish the earth as the Lord instructed us to. See how easy that is? Christianity 101. "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck" (Proverbs 1:8-9). There is no education like the education that a child receives from his own parents. It is supreme; it is irreplaceable. No one else can serve your child's nurturing needs, educational needs and spiritual needs like you can. That's why God gave YOU the child. You simply can't leave the important ministry of Christian nurture of children for others to do - especially people who aren't even Christians. Again, sometimes we just have to step back and look at it and say, "Well, that doesn't compute very well with my faith." I want to take just a moment here to say something that I believe is very important. It is counter-cultural, and it is likely to make some of you a little angry because it's unpopular. I will be as sensitive as I can to the many moms who, in this room even, need to work in order to make ends meet (and to single parents, I'm sensitive to their very special needs), but to be straightforward with you - there is hardly anything more important than a mother being home with her kids. Young moms, you moms-to-be, choose your child over the glitter of more income if at all possible. In a new and famous study project by Columbia University released just a year ago, this conclusion was drawn, and I'm quoting: …Mothers of newborns who work outside the home harm their children's intellectual development. …The study found that the average child of a mom who did NOT work outside the home more than 30 hours a week for the child's first nine months scored at the 50th percentile on a school-readiness test at age 3. Children whose mothers DID work outside the home 30-plus hours per week scored at the 44th percentile - statistically a "significant difference," said Jane Waldfogel, one of the authors of the report. Her personal comment, coming from a decidedly non-Christian point of view: "If it is at all possible for mom to stay home longer … that may be a good thing" (World Magazine, July 27, 2002 [p. 12]). I want to throw in a comment about my personal experience and our personal experience that I think is important. I think I am old enough and had enough experience now that I can finally share such personal counsel. I'm always reticent about sharing personal data, because my family isn't perfect, never have been. And I know that, so I refrain from making grandiose statements that make us look perfect to anyone. I don't want to communicate that to anyone. Secondly, I've learned that the older I get the dumber I realize I really am about the challenges and issues of everyday life, and how difficult it is for families. And I don't want to make it look simplistically easy. I won't do that, especially in the areas of child rearing and marriage. Thirdly, I've become more and more impressed by the Bible's teaching on "fruit." Now, we're to inspect fruit in people's lives to know whether we trust them - especially teachers. And it takes a long time for fruit to grow. Don't make quick judgments about anything. But fruit is important. For good counsel, look to families whose children are grown and are clinging to a sincere faith. Nevertheless, I want to tell you that Charlotte and I made a decision over 30 years ago that she'd be a stay-at-home mom at least until our children were through elementary school. And here's my backward glance, bottom line, end of the page commentary - I'm glad we made that choice. I urge it on you. Give up whatever it takes to be with your children. Author and preacher Tony Campolo said that when his wife, Peggy, who was a stay-at-home full-time mom with her children, and someone would ask her, "And what is it that you do, my dear?" she would respond, "I am socializing two homo sapiens into the dominant values of the Judeo-Christian tradition in order that they might be instruments for the transformation of the social order into the kind of eschatological utopia that God willed from the beginning of creation." And then Peggy would ask the other person, "And what do you do?" Our text this morning reminds us that mothers and grandmothers have a lot of spiritual nurturing potential for their children. They have so much to offer kids. You ought to let that special brand of nurture happen any way that you can. Remove whatever blocks are in the way that prevents such nurture from happening. Do whatever you can to keep moms and young children together as long as possible. There's my practical, loving advice on that matter. Paul clearly identifies for us what it was that Lois and Eunice had that was a valuable commodity to pass along to little Tim. And it was simply this - SINCERE FAITH. Yeah, that speaks volumes, doesn't it? Not faith, sincere faith. Does the word sincere or genuine do as much for you like it does for me? Genuine faith - real people in real, honest relationships with God and one another. This remarkable young man named Timothy received valuable training from his mother, and his grandmother who was fortunately still around to help. We don't know anything about dad, Mr. Timothy. We don't know who he was, where he was, or anything else about him. A good guess would be that he probably didn't embrace the Christian faith or he was deceased or gone for some other reason. At any rate, he was certainly of the picture as far as spiritual training was involved. But it turned out well nevertheless for Timothy. Listen, when you are committed to the Lord-He works things out for you. Single moms, you find yourself in circumstances that are not the best and you wonder if you'll be able to transmit sincere faith to your children. Yes, you can, in His power. The apostle makes it clear that the job was well done in Timothy's case. Tim now has a sincere faith, in large measure because of his mother and grandmother. What did they do? 1. They demonstrated sincere faith. They demonstrated sincere faith. They DEMONSTRATED sincere faith. I don't mean they put on an act - that wouldn't be sincere. They lived out their faith before their watching son, their grandson. Faith is just as much caught as it is taught. Living for Christ at home, where everybody knows you very well, that's the acid test of sincere faith. Most of us can pull off keeping our temper, being patient and kind, not faultfinding or being selfish or lazy at work or among our friends for a while. But at home, the REAL you shines through. Does that make you nervous? Here's my advice for you, man or woman dads and moms - relax! Just make sure your faith in the Lord is real; admit your mistakes when you fail. Admit them before God and before your kids. Repent to the Lord and thank Him for forgiving and renewing you, then say, "I am forgiven, and I'm trying to grow. Holy Spirit, come and fill me, and make me more of what you want me to be. I avail myself to you." You are instantly perfected in Christ. Now watch this. Even in your failure you set a faithful example. You faithfully turned to the Lord and let Him fix what was broken. Don't ever hide your mistakes from your kids, moms. Don't ever make them think you're perfect - that's a mistake. Don't make them think that you never have problems because you hide them away, and you never let them see you cry or get upset or nervous. Go ahead and let it show; be sincere. Why? Because as you receive God's healing and direction and redirection, your kids are watching that process happen. Because, guess what? They're going to have problems, they're going to make mistakes, and they will need to know that there is no situation that can't be redeemed - so what a great example to show how God matures you in the process of difficulty. Don't hide it. 2. They loved and encouraged Timothy. How do you know that, Rich? It doesn't say that in the verse! It doesn't need to. I just know. I know they loved and encouraged Timothy because he picked up the same faith that they had. That's how I know. You know, you can be a fairly good disciple of Jesus, and you can know the Word really well, and you can even evangelize others with great zeal, but love and encouragement are the glue that makes the message stick. You can't be a genuine, sincere Christian without love and encouragement toward others. You can't, especially not to your family. If you're not loving and encouraging, your faith is not attractive to others. In fact, it is repulsive to others, especially in the case of your kids. Ed Young, Jr., a preacher, tells about growing up as the son of Ed Young, Sr, a preacher of one of the largest Baptist churches in Houston, TX. One Sunday, when he was a teenager, they asked him to recite and lead the church in the Lord's Prayer. So little Ed, Jr., prepared for days for the big moment. He got up before that big church and said, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Your name," and his mind went blank. The church sat nervously for 60 seconds, waiting on him. Finally, he just said "Amen" and went and sat on the front row next to his mom. He was totally embarrassed and felt like a failure. He knew that he had shamed his family. Mom leaned over and whispered, "Your voice sounded so nice!" That is mother instilling a sense of worth and being loved, and it covers a multitude of sins. 3. Lois and Eunice actively shared the Word with Timothy. How do you know that? It doesn't say that in the text. Chapter 3, verse 14, says, "But as for you [Timothy], continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Jesus Christ." There are lots of reasons to be proud and to delight in your children - soccer, football, baseball, you name it, schools, scholastics - but nothing is more eternally gratifying than to see your children come to faith in Jesus. In the long haul, what's really important? Every chance I get, when a child confesses faith in Jesus, I encourage the parents, the mother and the dad, to be involved in the baptism of that child, for that bonding to take place. For us to project to anyone who's watching - the real transfer of faith doesn't come through in a Sunday school class; it comes through in the home. That's where it locks in. One hundred years from now it will not matter what your job title was, what kind of car you drove, or what kind of a house you lived in - but it will matter if you make a difference in the life of a child. The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18, and came up with (and I think this is 2 years old) $160,140 for a middle-income family. For those with kids, that figure leaps to wild fantasies like, "Oh boy, we sure could have saved a lot of money." Well, forget it. $160,00 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,900 a year, some $740 a month, or $171.09 a week. That's a mere $24.37 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think that the best financial advice - by the way, that doesn't include college; I think you've already figured that out, that's up to age 18. You might think the best financial advice is not to have children if you want to be "rich." In fact, it's just the opposite. What do you get for $160,000? • Naming rights - first, middle, and last • Glimpses of God everyday in the face of a child • Giggles under the covers every night • More love than your heart hold • Eskimo and butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs • Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies • A hand to hold - usually covered with jelly • A partner for bubble blowing, flying kits, building sand castles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain • Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day. • You never have to grow up. • You get to finger paint, carve pumpkins, play hide and seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa. • You have excuse to keep reading the adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars. • You get to frame rainbows, flowers, and hearts under refrigerator magnets, and collect spray-painted noodle wreaths for Christmas. Hand prints in clay for Mother's Day. • Cards with backward letters written in them for Father's Day. • You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off a garage roof, for taking the training wheels off a bike, removing a splinter, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to pizza nevertheless. • You get a front row seat to history - to witness the first step, the first word, the first bra, the first date, and the first time behind the wheel. • You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, and communications that no college can match. • And in the eyes of children you have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so that one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. I have an exhortation for moms. It's the same exhortation I gave last year, with a slight edit. (I'm a little wiser this year.) Because God made you that way, you have the unique ability to comfort and to bless. You are the most huggable in the family. Your husband and your kids need your hugs. You are the patient listener of the home. You are the approachable one. And you see things, unlike him, not only with your eyes, but also with your heart. God made your husband the pilot of your marriage and home. You are the navigator. Without your vital work of reading souls and making those personal adjustments in the family, we'd all be off course. Be reminded that all of your past mistakes are forgiven in Christ, and there is a new start in Him every day. Stay close to Him. Let His Spirit fill you and lead you. Let His Word be your instrument panel and your source of direction, as well as the substance of the faith that you teach to your children. And your whole family will be blessed, and they will rise up and call you blessed! We love you, moms, and we thank you for giving to us the beauty that is uniquely you, and we thank you for being all He intended you to be for us. Happy Mother's Day!   [Back to Top]