THE EVERYDAY FACE OF CHRISTIAN LOVE

THE EVERYDAY FACE OF CHRISTIAN LOVE Romans 12:9-21 November 13, 2005 Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introduction I recently encountered an interesting comment about Christian love. Love is our very personal evidence that we are living our lives in God. 1 John 3:14 says, We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Interesting isn’t it? The primary evidence that we are alive in the abundant life that Jesus gives us is that we are loving one another and learning to do it better. But, if love is the evidence of our faith, what is the evidence of our love? This is the topic of our study today. How exactly, practically, does Christian love act out in everyday life. What is the “everyday face” of Christian love? We Christians certainly believe in love and we talk a great deal about love, but just believing in it saying we love doesn’t mean that we love the way we are called to love. What is love, from a kid's point of view? "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” "Love is when someone hurts you, and you get so mad, but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings." "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay." "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." In our text this morning, the apostle Paul is writing to the Roman believers, and beginning with chapter 12 he has just begun to get “practical.” In verses 9 and following he turns to the great theme of love, and he puts work gloves on love, showing in the most practical terms what love does. Let’s take just a few minutes to address verses 9-21, one verse at a time and try to discover what New testament love looks like and acts like in real, everyday life. A Few Remarks on the Text of Romans 12:9-21 Love must be sincere (vs. 9a) The very first thing the apostle chooses to say about Christian love at work in the church is that it should be sincere. Literally, he says, love should be “without hypocrisy.” In that time the Greek and Roman theater performers often wore masks to identify their characters. This mask was a HUPOKRITOS. It’s purpose was to project an image NOT of the actor, but of the character he was playing. Love is not theater. We don’t pretend to love, and if we do we are not involved in Christian love. John Murray wrote, If love is the sum of virtue, and hypocrisy the epitome of vice, what a contradiction to bring these two together. A girl sent her old boyfriend a letter: Dearest Jimmy, No words can ever express the great unhappiness I’ve felt since breaking our engagement. Please say you’ll take me back. No one could ever take your place in my heart so please, please forgive me. I love you. I love you. I love you. Yours Forever, Marie PS Congratulations on wining the state lottery. Let love be sincere, Paul says. If we are not sincere, or striving to become more sincere, then we cannot say that we love as Christ called us to love. Then the second half of this verse says we ought to Hate what is evil; cling to what is good (vs. 9b) At first glance it might seem a little bit odd that right after the exhortation to love we are told to hate something. But hating evil is not contrary to sincere love. In fact, in contrast to this world’s sappy ideas, love is discerning and it is not just blind sentiment. When we love others, we want for them their highest welfare. Evil is always, always at odds with people’s welfare. So loving Christians are taught to hate what is evil. The word used here is unique in the New Testament and suggests a strong, almost vehement aversion, even abhorrence of evil. On the other hand we are commanded to stick like glue to things that are good. Christians are not being unloving when we stand against evil in our society, like the murder of innocent pre-born babies by abortion for convenience, or homosexual behavior and its militant insinuation into the culture. There are dozens of other major evils against which Christians stand, like religious persecution, ethnic cleansing, violence in homes and in political aggression, human trafficking, and so on. We stand up to such horrible things because we love others and are called to do our part in providing for their welfare. We are called to we are called to love what is good, honorable, noble and brings welfare to others. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love (vs. 10a) The same warm, tender love that is found in families is the brand of love that is to bind members of the family of God. As one brother loves another, so Christians are to be devoted/bound to one another. “Brotherly love” here is the Greek word PHILADELPHIA. In far too many cases people today have been raised in dysfunctional, unbalanced homes—and it’s not getting any better. For the wounded children of such families the church is their new family. A safe haven of healthy new relationships, a place where others are truly devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves (vs. 10b) We in the family of God are not only to extend affection toward one another, we also show each other honor. Philippians 2:3 says the same thing taking it a bit further, saying we should consider others better/more deserving than ourselves. Another equally valid translation of this phrase (RSV) says it this way: “outdo one another in showing honor”. We ought to be in competition with each other to see which of us can more quickly, more perfectly honor the other one! Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord (vs. 11) To be zealous is to be so filled with God that we are enthusiastic. We are called to be continually filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18), to keep ourselves spiritually percolating. But this is not just being bubbly and giggly saying Praise the Lord! Every time something good or bad happens. This ongoing energy is connected to “serving the Lord.” There are a lot of excitable Christians who are borderline obnoxious, but when encouraged to get to work for the kingdom, well, they’re evidently too busy having fun. This is not frenzy, it’s fortitude. And the command is to “not lack in it.” Each of us has the responsibility to keep ourselves alive in the Spirit, by devoting ourselves to study of the Word of God and prayer. And as we do we will give ourselves into His service and inspire others to do so. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer (vs. 12) Joy is something that’s a little hard to trump up on your own. But I’ll tell you one surefire way to get a booster shot of joy—stay in the word and focus on the blessed hope that is ours beyond this blink of an eye experience we call life. Eternity with the Lord and His people in the eternally perfect, restored Edenic bliss of heaven. Put your focus there and you will rediscover any joy that leaked out of you. Joy does leak when we face trials and tribulations in life. Paul says learn to be patient in affliction. We need to learn to say with the apostle, “I figure our present difficulties can’t even compare with the glory that will be revealed in us!” And how do we cultivate that kind of patience in the middle of life’s troubles? The last phrase in this verse gives the answer: be faithful in prayer. There are a lot of ways people try to medicate their pain – from drugs to drunkenness, from sexual partners to psychiatric professionals. But the Christian learns that his one source of spiritual solace is in the prayer closet with the living God. Hey, pastor, our theme here is love in the body of Christ. What does maintaining zeal, joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer have to do with loving one another? Plenty! If I am taking care of myself spiritually, and my brother or sister in the Lord turns to me in a time of need, I am better prepared to serve them in the name of Christ than if I’ve been lazing around, without any zeal and not experiencing my own dynamic sanctification. Being prepared through spiritual discipline is one of the most loving things I can do for those around me. So, if you can’t maintain zeal, joy, patience and prayer life for yourself, then do it for me and the rest of the family of God! Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality (vs. 13) Generosity--speaking of ways to help others in Christian love! The verb share here is the word KOINONEO. Many of you will recognize that word’s cousin, KOINONIA, or “fellowship.” That’s what fellowship is – sharing. There are two ways we express love by sharing. One is to share with them in their sufferings, that is, to empathize with them, provide them company when they’re down for the count. And that hardly ever means preaching at them or exhorting them to shape up and get right with God! It means what verse 15 says: Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Joe Bailey wrote a book on grief, on losing a loved one. He called it A View From the Hearse. He says “I was sitting, torn by grief, and somebody came along and talked to me  about God's dealings of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly. He said things I knew were true. But I was unmoved, except to wish that he would go away. And he finally did.  Then another one came and sat beside me, and he didn’t talk at all. He didn’t ask me any  Leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour or more, listened when I said  something, answered briefly, prayed simply and left. I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go.” You’ve not loved until you’ve wept and laughed aloud with others. The other kind of sharing with those in need is providing monetary or other help for them to help alleviate their need. Hey, do you know how to always have enough to give in situations like this? Give! If you will give You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion…(2 Corinthians 9:11) That is what Christian “hospitality” is and not doing it is to be unloving. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (vs. 14) Jesus taught that His followers should bless and pray for those who harm them. He said don’t try to get revenge, but do good to them. This may be one of the strongest tests of real Christian love—to not only forgive, but to bless our persecutors. The mother ran into the bedroom when she heard her seven-year-old son scream. She found his two-year-old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to the boy, "There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that hurts." He nodded his acknowledgement, and she left the room. As she started down the hall the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, "What happened?" The little boy replied, "She knows now." Now we know that persecution comes from outside the church, not from within. But haven’t you found that on occasion you’ve been hurt by a brother or sister in Christ? Isn’t the temptation strong in our sin-bent hearts to not forgive, to carry a grudge and even to look for ways to retaliate? But we are called to love, and love will not permit us the luxury of satisfying our carnal craving for revenge. Look down the page to verse 19: Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. “On the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” It simply is not the right of the servants of the Lord to take justice—or what we in our small minds conceive to be justice—into our own hands. Look down at verse 17 and see Paul’s emphasis of this point. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. Notice the harsh reality of this exhortation. Do not repay ANYONE—not even someone who gossips about you? Even if they have publicly slandered your name and your family with malicious lies? No. We have also this interesting and enigmatic expression, that if we effectively do good to our enemy and serve his welfare, one of the results will be the heaping of burning coals on his head. This phrase is taken from Proverbs 25:22 and seems to be saying that if we love our enemies we will actually bring them harm, and, ostensibly, then we will be even. But that is not a good interpretation of this idea; the whole context screams against the prospect of retaliation. Actually, there is evidence from ancient Egypt that those who wanted to repent in public fashion would carry a container of live coals on top of their heads to symbolized their change of mind. With this interpretation in mind, the Christian who returns love to his persecutor may even expect that his good works instead of revenge will ultimately work repentance in the heart and mind of the perpetrator of evil! And the next point—be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone? How can you please everyone? It’s impossible! But we’re not to read it as though we are to try to please everyone. The literal rendering is do good things in the eyes of everyone. We are God’s workmanship, Ephesians 2:10 teaches, created in Christ Jesus to do good works. The point is we are not to think that if someone has done us wrong, we are not only not to repay them with evil in kind, we are not even to withhold good works when they’re involved! No one ever said the Christian life was to be easy. Aren’t you glad God has placed His Spirit inside you to empower you to do more than you could ever ask or imagine to His glory? Live in harmony with one another (vs. 16a) Literally, this verse reads, Think the same things toward one another. Christians work best together when they have common convictions. It’s hard to walk fully harmoniously with someone whose convictions about the Word and work of God are at a different place than your own. What the church needs to do is to agree that we will work hard to understand the truth of God concerning things central to our faith, and rant each other freedom in the areas of detail that are not essential to our salvation. That way there is harmony in what matters, and there is harmony in things that don’t matter as much—namely, an agreement to allow freedom. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. (vs. 16b) Christian humility is simply this—determined warfare against pride. The kind of pride Paul deals with here is snobbery. Snobs are people who are at best too comfortable remaining uncomfortable around people different from themselves. (Let that sink in) At worst, snobs are those who are so obsessed with status and social acceptance to ever allow them to identify with someone beneath them. There is absolutely no room in the body of Christ for this kind of attitude. We are called by the Lord of glory who ate meals with whores, hooligans and hucksters to consider ourselves servants to all men regardless of status, stench or stereotypes. Loving others and serving them is not a matter of our comfort, but our calling. Conceit is one of the ugliest traits in humanity. It projects a state of mind that I am better than others and somehow earned my way into a preferred status with the Lord. Like some Christians carry plain kingdom credit cards and other carry platinum. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (vs. 18) We are called to be people of peace, even peacemakers. Several times in the scripture we are directed to live in peace or pray that we would live in peace. Why? Because when our lives are chaotic and riddled with persecution and problems, we are so distracted we cannot do the good works we’ve been sent to do! We’re too busy in the defensive mode, dealing with the problems and setbacks to go on the offensive with good works and a strong positive witness. So, Paul wisely counsels us to not make it more difficult for ourselves to evangelize by allowing problems to grow and fester with others. Now did you notice the dose of realism here—if it is possible? I love that! As He inspires Paul in his writing the Spirit reminds him that this is a fallen world and some people will simply not allow us to be at peace with them. Do what you can. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (vs. 21) The concluding words of this passage underscore the significance of living our everyday lives in a manner consistent with Christian love. We live in a world that is at odds with its Creator. Caught up in a rebellion so old and complicated that they don’t even understand how wrong it all is, people are confused. And they will see any goodness that they are not part of as their opposition. They will inevitably use evil power at their disposal, thanks to the devil, to attack goodness. In the process they will end up assailing even love—pure love, real love—as their enemy. If we repay evil with evil, we add our evil to the original evil and effectively double the evil in the world! If we repay evil for evil, we have been overcome by it, and we reduce the tally of evil in the world. Conclusion If Christ and goodness and agape love are seen by the world as their enemy, we are in for a struggle. Paul says, understand well that you are the target of evil. Evil, and all those who are caught up in its grip are out to destroy you. But you are not to fight with the weapons of this world (battling evil with evil, revenge and retaliation). Your weapon is love and good works. And with them you can overcome evil. Stay the course. Fight the good fight. Serve the Lord and His great purposes with everyday love. It is always right to do good; it is always wrong to do evil. We who are inhabited by the Spirit of Christ are His ambassadors of love to a lost and evil world. When Jesus was incarnated and suffered and died unjustly at the hands of evil men, He did not retaliate, but devotedly gave up His life for His very enemies. To be His followers is to commit to this same kind of love for all men including our enemies. Love is an everyday action, a committed lifestyle of deliberately seeking the welfare of others. This is the way of the cross. When it is not easy to love, and every fiber of our being cries out for revenge, it is then that we honor the Lord by our obedience. In his book Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis wrote, "Do not waste your time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less." I would like to close with one more reading from this portion of the book of Romans—this time from the 13th chapter, verses 8-10. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does not harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.   [Back to Top]