UP WITH DAD!

UP WITH DAD! Deuteronomy 32:6 Proverbs 22:6 June 18, 2006 Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introduction Father’s Day: The single day of the year on which statistically there are more collect calls made than any other day of the year. One of the most music CDs in recent years is Natalie Cole's Unforgettable. On that CD she brings to life in her own unique style songs that her father, Nat King Cole, made famous. In the very last song on the album, she sings a duet with her deceased father through some awesome digital dubbing techniques. She remains faithful to his style of singing. On the dust cover, after she has thanked many other people, she signs off with this testimony to both her father and the heavenly Father. “And finally, I thank God for every thing He has given me. I thank Him for everything He has taken away, and I thank Him for every thing He has left me. The making of this album has been a blessing and a labor of love for myself and everyone that has worked on it...This project has touched all of us deeply, and it has left a smile on my face that will not go away any time soon. I hope you feel the same. So sit back and enjoy, and, by the way,...thanks Dad...” Natalie (By the way, I dare you to listen to this album without smiling and or tearing up. I don’t think it can be done.) I would like to underscore something I’m sure you already know. God has revealed Himself to us in the written revelation of the Bible as our Father. And this is an apt and helpful comparison for us to understand much of how He wants to relate to us. But fatherhood is falling on some bad times in our world, and the image that comes to mind for many is increasingly warped and distorted. Nevertheless, we know what fathers should be and that helps us to understand God as He describes Himself as Father. There are many references to God as our Father in the New Testament scriptures, but precious few in the Old Testament. What does occur there is very revealing, though. I want to refer to the four or five key references, make some brief observations and close with some words of encouragement concerning fathers. Father God Near the end of Moses’ last great speech to Israel before He died, which we know as the book of Deuteronomy, he brings a chastisement to the people for their irresponsible and corrupt behavior, saying, Is this the way you repay the Lord, O foolish and unwise people? Is he not your Father, your Creator, who made you and formed you? Here we find a very strong connection between God’s role as Creator and His role as “Father.” The same idea appears in Malachi 2:10 where the prophet speaks out against the priests for practicing partiality – Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another? Isaiah 64:8 also alludes to the Father/Creator theme, but adds a new dimension—the role of redeemer and guide: Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. This other dimension of God’s fatherhood has to do with His direction and instruction of His created ones, whom He defines as His children. The idea includes the concept of continuing to mold and form the children and doing what He must for them in order to bring them to the full maturity of what He intends them to be—a theme that is developed even more fully in the New Testament. First God forgives and redeems us through Christ, gives us His indwelling Spirit, and then He starts a process of growth into the image of Christ. Isaiah portrays God as a Potter and us as clay in His hands. Romans 8:29 says as believers we are predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son. 2 Corinthians 3 explains that we are growing in that process one step at a time, and that all this is from the Lord who is the Spirit. Colossians 3:10 puts it this way: …we have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. So we have Father God acting toward us on two distinct ways—as our Creator and as Refiner, or Sanctifier. These roles might be simplified to Creation and Formation. Earthly Fathers These same two roles are reflected in earthly fathers, though not to the absolute degree as they apply to Father God. Earthly fathers reflect the fatherhood of God, however dimly, both in terms of creation and formation, in their relationship to their children. First, Creation. By God’s design, earthly fathers participate with Him in the creation of life. As his sperm enters and vivifies the ovum, the father, along with the mother, takes on a quasi-creator role. Of course, it is nowhere as spectacular as God’s creative work ex nihilo (out of nothing). But in God’s miraculous design and by His power when the sperm and ovum join, life occurs. This is a shared role between fathers and mothers, but to the man God gives the seminal, or initiating role. The similarity is part of His plan. We earthly creatures are fathers in vague, but striking similarity with God’s fatherhood. Before God speaks there is nothing. He speaks and things are as results of His creative power. Similarly, before coital union there is no life, but then, in the middle of that awe-inspiring process, again by God’s creative power, life is formed. God has called human beings to serve in a co-creative role with Him! First, Creation – Second, Formation. God also shares His other fatherly role with earthly fathers—that of guides for their children’s salvation and sanctification. And again, mothers and fathers share this vital role of spiritual direction for their children, but to the father is given the primary responsibility of spiritual oversight and formation. To look at most households that would not be readily apparent, but if you consider the scriptural mandate, it is easy to see that the father is primarily responsible. Proverbs 22:6 serves as a representative passage for all the other verses that call for this parental instruction of children: Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. The parental goal and objective of parents is to see their children grow up into a vital relationship with God through Christ. First that they would come to saving faith in Jesus, repenting of their sinful condition and conduct and trusting Him as their Savior. And secondly that they would mature into strong Christians who remain strong in the Lord and their faith. That is the way they should go in the language of Proverbs 22:6. There are two things I feel I should stress here. First, this passage is the Word of God and is true. But it is not a guarantee that your kids will be perfect. Why not? It says quite plainly to train the child and when he’s old he won’t turn from it! I’m not saying this is not spiritual truth—I’m suggesting that we might be reading it backwards if we see it as a guarantee. Suppose I tell you that if you change the oil in your car every 3,000 miles the engine will serve you well for many years. That is not meant to be a guarantee. Any number of things could go wrong with that engine that have nothing to do with the lubrication system and oil changes. The way to understand my statement is not if you change your oil every 3,000 your engine will not wear out. That would be reading into the proverbial truth something I did not intend. What I am saying is simply what researchers are proving with test after test: the best thing you can do to help ensure long engine life is change the oil. But it won’t miraculously deliver you from a broken timing chain, faulty piston rods, overheating from coolant failure or bad carburetion. Proverbs 22:6 is a word from God that the best thing you can do for your children in your steward’s role of directing them in godly living is to train them! Why can’t it be a guarantee? 3 reasons: 1. 1. You as your child’s father will not train him perfectly, because you’re a sinner—though saved. 2. Your child will not listen and obey perfectly, because s/he is a sinner—even though saved. 3. Your child is a free moral agent, with the full rights as any other human being to choose against godly faith and practice. I don’t care if you’re the best Christian parent that ever walked the earth, there is no guarantee in Proverbs 22:6. What there is in that thrilling verse of divine truth is a stirring challenge to do the best you can in training your child, as a hedge against the evil in this world and their natural bent toward sin. The second thing I need to say is this is a serious charge to parents and especially to dads. Listen, God did not tell anyone else but you to train your children. There is positively no one else who is responsible for your child’s spiritual training besides you—NO ONE! Not Sunday School teachers, youth leaders, not Kid City workers, not school teachers—not even Christian school teachers. The only thing that parents can take to heaven is their children. Fathers, be the dad! There is no one else who can replace you. You are key, you are important, you are essential, you are da man! Listen to this quote and tell me who said it: Renew your hope; love your family. Raise your children, don't abandon them. Cats raise kittens. Dogs raise puppies. Eagles raise their eaglets. Surely man can raise his babies. You have not earned the right not to raise your children! You have not earned the right to do less than your best! Though your knees may buckle sometimes, you never earn the right to surrender! That’s from none other than that renowned right-wing, conservative named Jesse Jackson! From the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services come these startling statistics: Girls without a father in their life are two and a half times as likely to get pregnant and 53 percent more likely to commit suicide. Boys without a father in their life are 63 percent more likely to run away and 37 percent more likely to abuse drugs. Both girls and boys without a father are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to end up in jail, and nearly four times as likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. (Source: U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services press release, "HHS Launches 'Be Their Dad' Parental Responsibility Campaign" March 26, 1999) Being the dad is eternally important, men. The gravity of doing your critically significant part in training your child in the way he should go cannot be overestimated. And you need not be perfect! Perfect behavior is not what pleases God – it’s a good and sincere heart. Am Sam, with Sean Penn and Michelle Pfeiffer, is about a mentally handicapped single father whose intelligence level is that of a six-year-old. He is allowed to raise his daughter, Lucy, up to the age of six, but then is forced give her up to a foster family. Show film clip of I Am Sam (00:13:00 to 00:15:21) Author and speaker Phil Callaway was invited to respond to a letter from a frightened, soon-to-be dad who wrote him to ask for advice on preparing to be a good dad. He wrote back: May 31, 1986, was a Saturday. My friends played softball that day. I paced a hospital hallway with my [pregnant and imminently due] wife. At least I think it was my wife. Whereas Ramona had always been rather sweet and soft-spoken, this woman was more like Attila the Hun in a hospital gown. "Rub my back," she commanded. I [started to comply]. "Don't touch me!" She hollered. This continued for what seemed like 14 days, until I found myself face to face with my firstborn son. Sure, he was a little wrinkly, but who could blame him? I held him close. I touched his tiny fingers, and counted his toes—all ten of them. I looked into his eyes. They were blue. Like mine. Then the most amazing thing happened. A revival, I suppose. As I looked into those blue eyes, it was as if I heard these words: "Callaway, for the first 25 years of your life you've been a hypocrite. You've been close to the church but far from God. You are holding in your arms the one person you'll never be able to hide it from. If you think this little guy won't see it, you're naive." People ask me when I became a Christian, and I say May 31, 1986. You see, that night for the first time in my life, I bowed my head and said, "Dear God, I'm sorry. Make me real. I want my precious little boy to hunger and thirst after righteousness. If he won't learn to from me, he has two strikes against him already." I meant every word. It's been slow-going sometimes, but I believe God heard that prayer. Five years later this same little boy looked up at me one night and said, "Daddy, I wanna be like you," and tears came to my eyes. I don't have all the child-rearing answers for you. But I do know this: If you want your child to love God, love Him first. If you want your son to obey, be obedient to the still small voice of God. Closing Seminary president Bryan Chappel shared this thought: One of the most powerful images of my wife's childhood came when she and a neighbor girl were playing in some woods behind their homes. The neighbor girl wandered from the path and stepped into a nest of ground bees. As the bees swarmed and stung, the girls began to scream for help. Suddenly, out of nowhere—like superman, my wife says—her dad came crashing through the woods, leaping over fallen logs, hurdling vines and bushes. He swooped up a girl under each arm and tore through the woods at full speed to get away from the bees. As he ran, the father's grip bruised the children's arms, branches scratched their legs, and thorns grabbed at their clothes and skin. The rescue hurt, but it was better than the bees. ‘Sounds like our heavenly Father's work. He sees our danger and, while we are yet sinners, comes crashing into our worlds. From some throne above the universe, he hurdles galaxies and the infinite expanse of time to enter our realities and take us from spiritual danger. His rescue may hurt us, but the goal is always our safety, and the motive is always his love.   [Back to Top]