MOTHERHOOD AND WORTHY AMBITIONS FOR WOMEN

MOTHERHOOD AND WORTHY AMBITIONS FOR WOMEN Titus 2:3-5 May 13, 2007 Mother's Day Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introduction The story is told about an elderly woman who had three grown sons who were all quite successful in their careers. When she was 90 years old, each son wanted to do something very nice for her on this special day, and out do his brothers. They got her their gifts and then got together to compare notes. Milton said, “Mom is going to love what I’ve done. I built her a big 50-room house. It is a dream house. She will love it.” Marvin said, “I think I can top that. You know she can’t get around because of her poor eyesight. I sent her a new Mercedes limo with a driver so she can get out and go wherever she wants to go.” Melvin said, “I think I’ve got you all topped. I sent Mom a parrot. Not just any parrot—this parrot has the whole Bible memorized. You know how Mom loves the Bible, but can’t read anymore. It took 20 monks 12 years to train this parrot and I owe the monastery $100,000 for that bird. But, all Mom has to do is say book, chapter and verse and that bird will recite the passage perfectly for her.” They had their gifts delivered to their mother before they arrived on her big day. At the festive dinner, the aging woman stood and began her short speech, saying “I want to thank my thoughtful sons for the extravagant gifts they sent me, but I feel a bit of scolding is in order. Milton, are you crazy? I’m too old to keep a 50-room house clean. What do I need with a mansion? I only need a little place, and I’m much happier in my familiar little house.” And Marvin, what were you thinking? I don’t like to get out anymore, and that driver is so rude.” And lastly, she turned to Melvin, “Now, Melvin, you are a son who knows what his mother likes. My eyes are bad and I couldn’t read your card, but, I must say, that chicken was delicious.” I trust that your gifts for mom this year, while maybe not that lavish, are full of love and appreciation. This morning let’s listen in on a portion of the inspired Word of God, where the apostle Paul writes to Titus, his trusted pastor prot?? whom he left in Crete to serve the church there. Here we’ll find some counsel for and about women, both young and old. It is a teaching I have been mulling over for a couple years now, and I think I am finally ready to speak to it. I sincerely believe it is an important word for the church in our day and culture. Let’s get a running start at verses 3-5 of Titus 2 by beginning our reading with verse one. Paul to Titus: You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. I want to take a little different tack this morning, starting at the end of the text. Please focus for a minute on the last clause in verse 5. Paul insists that the real objective of all Christian instruction is that believers will present a good and effective witness. …so that no one will malign the word of God. This is the first of three times in this letter that Paul expresses concern about the reputation the Cretan Church has with non-Christians. See verses 8 and 10 where he speaks to young men and to slaves: …so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. He urges the Christian slaves/employees to…show that they can be trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive. We are reminded this morning how important the world’s impression of us really is. We are to protect the holy reputation of God and His Word, give our enemies no reason to speak badly of us, and be trustworthy so the gospel will remain “attractive” to onlookers. These are really good measures by which to judge our behavior among the unbelievers around us. Very simply, I should ask myself, have I reflected God’s holy character to others this week? Did people find me the kind of person they could trust? Through the life I lived, did I make the gospel attractive to others or unattractive? In this passage, Paul is speaking to and about the ministry of women particularly. His clear message is that the younger women must be trained. Now consider what logically comes before this statement of concern about the younger women’s witness before the watching world. That is, what kind of behavior on their part will keep pagans from maligning the Word of God? Paul says they must be taught. There are, in fact, eight specific things he lists. Without dwelling too long on this list, let’s see what kinds of things young women can do to be better representatives for Christ. He wants the younger women to be taught to love their husbands. In marriage, there is simply nothing more important than each partner to learn and strive and grow in their ability to love their spouse. I’m not sure what drove Paul to emphasize this point for the younger women in Crete, but I can tell you this: in south-central Illinois in the 21st century there is a great deal of sub-standard love among young wives. Children have increasingly been raised in single parent homes where healthy patterns of love between a wife and her husband have simply not been modeled. In far too many homes where marriages are surviving, they are not thriving, and there, too, boys and girls are robbed of good examples of godly marital relationship. Guess what? Those boys and girls have grown up and they’re marrying and, because they have not been taught from God’s Word or through godly examples, they don’t know how to be good wives. I have done a good deal of marital counseling and pre-marital counseling, and (not so much among the young women of this church) ignorance and incapacity for being a good wives is epidemic! It’s a worrisome prospect, and it’s not something you fix in a couple of counseling sessions. It takes a model, an older woman with years of experience learning to love her husband in the power of God’s Spirit and the teaching of God’s Word. This, of course, is exactly what Paul is driving at—getting older women in touch with younger women for the very purpose of teaching them to love their husbands. But loving their children is just as much a challenge for young women who have grown up with abusive, abominable and absentee parents. By and large, the young women are beautiful and nice people, but they are clueless about what their children need. Young parents with no good modeling and teaching go on being lousy parents to the second and third generation. And many of them, sad to say, are in the church. Young women need older women to teach them. Paul goes on to a couple of character issues in which younger women need mentors. Living a life that is self-controlled and pure as a believing woman is challenge enough for Christian women, but for those who have had no good modeling or teaching, it is virtually impossible. …to be busy at home… Most women in this room would find it laughable that anyone would think they have to be told to stay busy at home. You’re too busy already. But the correction in this term has to do with younger women who have abdicated their responsibilities in their home and are busying themselves in other places. It’s a corrective for younger women who are voluntarily out away from their homes carrying on with other pursuits, but not taking care of business at home. I hasten to add, this is NOT about working a career outside the home. Unless, that is, the home, the marriage and the children are suffering neglect because of the job. Nor is this a statement on my part that housework is the sole responsibility of wives and not of husbands. Any husband who will not do his part, particularly if his wife is working outside the home, simply is not loving his wife as he promised to in his wedding vows. …to be kind… The word used here is the same as is used elsewhere in the New Testament as a fruit of the Holy Spirit, referring to treating others, especially those in one’s own household, with sensitivity to their needs, being benevolent and helpful to them. Again, this kind of behavior is best learned when modeled. Who has modeled kindness for you in your life? Emulate them. If you’ve had no model, find one in an older mentor. …to be subject to their husbands… I realize I’ve got a tiger by the tail here, but I’m just going to be plain and straightforward on this. The Bible teaches that the husband is the head of the home, which means, he is the first to serve and give his life for his spouse—that’s how Jesus loved the church. Any woman who does not recognize, respect and cooperate with that principle is playing fast and loose with a very basic, clear biblical teaching. If you are confused or rebellious about this matter, look around for a Christian marriage you admire for its peace and holiness and joy, one that has stood the test of time for many years, and let that older woman teach you what submission to her husband really means. And, by the way, congratulations, because you just found the very person Paul says should be teaching you. Well, that is the list of instructions for younger women. The next step clarifies where that kind of instruction is to come from. And it is what I have been saying all along: older women of faith. By “older” Paul in that culture and time probably meant older fifties and above. Yes, that means if you’re under 55 you are still categorized a “younger women”. Rejoice, ladies! What the apostle actually says to Pastor Titus here is that he should teach the older women, who can then train the younger women. Now, what can Titus, a young pastor, teach older women about womanhood? Probably nothing. But verse 3 lays out the kinds of things he can and should teach them. Paul says, “Titus, you teach them these four things: 1. Teach them to be reverent in the way they live. The word “reverent” is unique here—it is never used again in the New Testament. Buried in the word (HEROPRETES) is the word “temple,” because the word has to do with conducting oneself always as if you were within the temple. This is a beautiful Christian concept—that our lives ought to be lived as though we were always in the presence of God (and that’s because we are!). I heard a person recently give good counsel to a boy in how to treat a girl. He said, “Never do anything with her or to her that you would be embarrassed to do if your mother were witting next to you.” That’s the same idea. Paul told Titus, “Teach the older women in your congregation to live not so much a WWJD life, but a JIWYSPHIAYD (Jesus is with you so please him in all you do) kind of life. That is a reverent life—one that “reveres” God.   2. Teach them to not be slanderers. The word means a gossiper, basically. The New Testament mentions more than once that a woman who has time on her hands is especially vulnerable to the sin of gossip. Ladies (and gentlemen), do we really need a reminder that gossip is wrong for a hundred reasons? We do? Okay, gossip is wrong; it is sin. Don’t do it. By the way, the word that Paul uses for slanderer is “DIABOLOS,” the same word that is used for Satan. What he is saying is that talking in a way that reduces another’s reputation is diabolical, devilish. Satan is the “accuser of the brethren” and the picture is of him gossiping about you in the corridors of heavenly realms all the time, trying to bring you down. No believer, including older women, should ever want to be a fellow-slanderer with Satan.   3. The third thing Titus should teach older women is to not be addicted to much wine. Apparently, women whose families were raised had the time and the inclination to booze it up a little too much! This is born out in the secular literature of the day, too. When Paul says “addicted” he is talking about addiction, so he really is dealing with alcoholic beverages in this passage.   4. It often startles Bible readers to read that elders and elderly women should not be addicted to MUCH wine. Our culture is still strongly affected by the excesses of Prohibition, and many Christians are not just tea-totalers, but insist that others be as well. Often a legalistic insistence is presented out of the fear of drunkenness and addiction. The Bible does not reflect that obsessive extreme. Here Paul simply says, “Tell them not to go overboard, because drunkenness and addiction don’t become those who live by the Spirit of God. The same is said in the books of Timothy, where Paul also counsels the Pastor to take a little wine for his digestive problems. Self-control should be the mark of the Christian. And being boozed up all the time does not reflect the character of Christ. In general you don’t have to give up the bottle, just the buzz. I’ll interject two exceptions: those who are already addicted, who should avoid all forms and amounts of alcoholic beverage; and those who are not legally of age. Your freedom in Christ does not give you license to break the law. The Bible says, you ought not be high on the spirits, but filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18).   5. Teach what is good. The word for teaching good here is kalodidaskalos and it is never used in any other place in the Bible or in secular literature. It was Paul’s own term, and it referred not to a classroom-type setting for teaching, but a one-on-one situation, between a mentor and a disciple. This is the kind of arrangement that is perfect for discipling. There is freedom, and time, and opportunity to ask questions, share personal histories and growth stories. It is the informal sharing of two people poring over the scriptures, meaningfully discussing every detail and practical application. This is the methodology used in our Design for Discipleship program, and it is quite effective, for these reasons. But here is what Paul was envisioning: all over Crete, older women would be taking younger women under their wing, talking with them about their histories and experiences of growing by trial and error, their families, their marriages, their parenting days. They would talk about the ups and downs of their lives, their failures and successes, encouraging their younger friends in the faith. Their younger prot?? would freely ask questions of their trusted older companions—questions they could never ask anyone else. Between the scriptural teaching and the practical advice, the example and honest exchange, the younger women would grow into better women, better wives, better mothers, better servants of Christ. Let me share my heart with you as your pastor, burdened to encourage you as was Paul and Titus of the great value of such relationships. I hope and I pray that younger women who need godly counsel and direction will seek out older women of faith who will take the time to redeem all the struggles they’ve been through in life and share the wisdom God has given them. You precious women of God in your 50’s, 60’s and 70’s, you’re not done serving the Lord. He has a huge and important job for you. He wants you to mentor and encourage a couple younger women in the most important issues of marriage, family, faith and service. The younger women need you—they need you. And it is clearly the will of God that you make yourself available. Maybe a couple of you will be used of the Lord to give some young women the greatest mother’s day gift of all—a friend whose wisdom and faith will help see them through their challenges. And, by God’s grace, no one will malign the word of God. Prayer   [Back to Top]