HALL MONITORS IN THE SCHOOL OF CHRISTIAN MATURITY: PART 4 – GENTLENESS

HALL MONITORS IN THE SCHOOL OF CHRISTIAN MATURITY: PART 4 – GENTLENESS Colossians 3:12 February 10, 2008 Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introduction Some time ago I heard from my bank that I had two overdrawn checks with $25 charges attached, as well as an overdraft debit charge, for which I was charged an additional fee. Apparently an out-of-town check I had deposited had not cleared as quickly as I had thought it should. That coupled with a mathematical error on my part and a bank holiday caused my debits and credits to show a balance in the red. I was red, too. I didn’t need $75 worth of charges, particularly that week, and so I prepared my case, complete with all the reasons why the deposit should have counted earlier and why the charges were outrageous and the bank was wrong… In fact, I was fairly irate by the time I made it to the bank. I waited just a couple minutes for an appointment with the new vice president. He came to the chair where I waited and greeted me with the warmest handshake and smile I’d ever experienced in a bank. When we got to his office and he asked me how he could help me, he had the kindest, softest masculine voice I’d ever heard. My anger melted away and I felt like I had a brand new friend! Before I knew it, he was saying, “Well, let me see what we can do about this, Mr. Bersett.” A quick look at my account on his monitor, a couple key strokes, and he said, with that soft and pleasant voice, “There, we’ll reverse those charges, and they’ll show up first thing in the morning.” I knew the truth of that great proverb, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” He smiled pleasantly and said, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Bersett?” I wanted to say, “Yeah, teach me to talk like that, will you?!” It was for me a living lesson in gentleness. Gentleness – Another Hall Monitor in the School of Christian Maturity Gentleness is another one of those hall monitors in the school of Christian maturity. That is, it is one of those virtues of character and behavior that the healthy Christian will encounter as he grows in faith. Paul says that it is one of the nine-fold fruit of the Spirit that is produced by God’s presence in the life of the believer. Ephesians 4:2 exhorts believers in the company of one another to be “completely humble and gentle…” And Paul urged the young pastor Timothy to “pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” (1 Timothy 6:11) How can we define gentleness? Aristotle handled this Greek word 400 years earlier in history than Paul and he defined it as finding the proper balance in life, an equilibrium or stability that could not be moved to extremes. In the time of Jesus the term PRAUS came to mean “strength under control” and was a synonym with meekness. The best illustration is of a horse that has been tamed and brought under the control of its owner. Gentleness is the Character of Christ Another way to understand the meaning of gentleness is to think of the opposite of gentleness, which is rudeness, thoughtlessness, and roughness toward other people. Like Ted’s barber. Ted, a fine Catholic man, was having his haircut by his barber. This barber must have taken the “barb” in barber a little too seriously, because he was a rather mean and insensitive man. Ted mentioned he was going on vacation to Europe. “Oh, you don’t want to travel to Europe—it’s dangerous; people are rude.” Ted said they’d be stopping in Rome. “Oh, that’s a terrible place to visit—so expensive!” “Yeah, I hope to get to visit with the Pope!” “The Pope! You must be dreaming! Only one in a million get to even see the Pope, much less visit with him. Never happen!” A month later Ted was back in the barber shop. “Did you go to Europe?” “Yes, we had a great time—especially in Rome.” “Really? And I suppose you tried to see the Pope.” “Yes, as a matter of fact, I had a private audience with Him.” “You did!?” “Yes, I was able to go right up to him, and I knelt down in front of Him and kissed his ring!” “Really! Did he say anything to you?” “As a matter of fact, he did. As I kissed his ring he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Ted, my dear son, where did you ever get such a lousy haircut?” The Bible teaches that the Christian ought to be growing always in the direction of more and more gentleness. That the believer’s temperament should be under the increasing control of the Holy Spirit, reflecting to people around him the same character that Jesus demonstrated when He took the children into His arms and blessed them, when He forgave the adulterous woman, when he raised the widow’s son from death, and when He healed the sick. In Matthew 11:29 Jesus said, “…Learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” When people meet you, do they find rest for their souls? Paul would appeal to the Christians in Corinth “by the meekness and gentleness of Christ…” Cultivating gentleness in our Christian lives is a mark and a goal of Christian maturity. And it is not difficult, because we have received from Christ’s gentleness toward us and we have received His Spirit who bear such fruit. Jesus—the Son of God—in truth the most powerful man who ever walked the earth. So powerful He could raise the dead. Untamed He would have called down 10,000 angels to do His bidding. Unqualified by His love for us He had every right to join in the stoning to death of the adulterous woman, to ridicule Zaccheus as a poor little sinner undeserving of His attention. Had His power not been tempered by His mercy and gentleness the children would never have known His touch, the blind would not have seen, the lame would never walk. But power was tamed by love, and gentleness was the distinguishing mark of His ministry. Gentleness is the Clothing of the Christian (Col. 3:12) The fact is, we who have trusted Christ as Savior of our lives have already tasted the kindness of the Lord—the gentleness and forgiveness of the holy God in spite of our audacious sin against Him. We who have received of His mercy and gentleness are now called on to cultivate it in our lives and show it to others. This kind of behavior stands in stark contrast to the rude and ruthless behavior of un-God-related people. And Matthew 5:16 promises it brings glory to our Father in heaven. I like Christian witness T-shirts. Their message gets people thinking. But, be careful if you’re going to wear one, because your behavior even more dramatically represents Christ. Those who encounter you will from then on identify the cross and message on your shirt with the way you did or did not treat them with gentleness. Put on your t-shirts, ball caps and bumper stickers with great care. Let me ask you something. How do you treat your waitress when you go out to eat? With respect and gentleness? I have witnessed fellow Christians drive waitresses to tears by their harsh words and demanding ness. What kind of a tip do you leave? Did you know that Christians have a bad name among restaurant waiters and waitresses? We’re known as stingy and demanding. I am ashamed of that. And I hope you are, too. The Sunday crowd, as predictable in the timing of their arrival as they are in the manner of their dress, find the waitresses drawing straws for who has to take their table. They bring in a ten dollar bill and the ten commandments and they don’t break any of them. Except they are rude and they are stingy. Listen, fellow believer, if you can’t bring yourself to treat another human being with gentleness and respect who serves you, and if you can’t afford to leave a generous tip for someone who depends on it for a living, then may I suggest you eat at home. Take advantage of this glorious opportunity to share the lavish love of God. If we don’t voluntarily cultivate the Christian virtue of gentleness in our lives, do you have any idea the lengths to which God will go to get it done anyway? Listen, we are predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, and God has ways of getting that shaping accomplished! How is rough wood smoothed and prepared for a smooth finish? Through the abrasive application of sandpaper! How are muscles shaped into beautiful bodily form? Hard work and exercise. God wants to develop gentleness in our lives and sometimes He will use put us into difficult situations that we find tough in order to smooth us out. Gentleness can be developed through people who oppose you or bother you, and God can easily place you near such people in order to smooth your finish. Gentleness can grow in you when you encounter people who are not gentle and you learn by being hurt by them and you end up saying, “I don’t ever want to be like that.” Why does God go through all the trouble to make us gentle? Is He wanting to make you into a doormat? No, meekness is not weakness—but strength under control. You dads who wrestle with your kids. You’re down there on the floor with them, and they’re laughing and trying with all their might to get you pinned on the floor. You have their giggling, twisting little bodies in your hands. You can crush them with your strength, but your love and tenderness for them allows your strength to only go so far. Strength under the control of love. A picture is worth a thousand words. Most of you will remember the tragic day of April 19, 1995, when the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City was bombed. Among the many children trapped in that burning building was 1-year-old Baylee Almon. This photo was made famous in part because of the drama of that day. But it also captures something rich and significant: the mixture of strength and control, toughness and tenderness. Gentleness came to rescue a child, to bring hope. While Baylee later died from the injuries, but this picture endures to remind us of the value of strength applied with gentleness. Gentleness in the Conduct of our Ministry Philippians 4:5 hammers home the importance of gentleness in the way we minister to others. There Paul says Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. What it means when it says the Lord is near, I’m not sure. It could mean that the Lord is always near us, aware of what we do and how we do it; it could mean the Lord’s return is imminent and He could come back at any time so carry on your ministry with gentleness; I don’t know for sure. But the important thing is what the Holy Spirit is saying is do your best to demonstrate gentleness to (whom?) Everyone! Why is it important that we conduct our ministry with gentleness? Because if we are obnoxious and rude, no one is going to listen to the valuable message we have! If we are called to make know the gospel, as clearly and compellingly as we can, it is important that we do whatever we can to help them hear unobstructed. Morris, an eighty-two-year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days after that, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really living it up aren’t you?” Morris replied, “Just doing like you said, Doctor. ‘Get a hot mama and be cheerful!’” The doctor said, “I didn’t say, ‘Get a hot mama and be cheerful!’ I said, ‘You got a heart murmur. Be careful!’” The Lord wants our witness ad our ministry to others in His Name to be effective and clearly understood. And He knows that when we offend them by our manner, we cut off the effectiveness of our ministry. In this regard, I’d like to draw our attention to first Peter chapter 3. Verse 15 of that chapter represents one of the clearest calls in the New Testament to Christian witness for all believers. Here is a word, not just to first century disciples or apostles, not a command to gifted evangelists or missionaries. Here is a word of instruction to all believers about their calling to speak the message of the gospel in their own words, with their own testimony and tailored perfectly to their audience. But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. Notice two assumptions here. First, the believers are reminded that the most important thing is that they honor Jesus as their Lord. That is, He is the one they are serving, not themselves or any one else. Secondly, the assumption is that they are living seriously for Christ, doing the good works He called them to walk in and being effective in their unspoken witness, through the way they are living their lives. How do we know that? Well, he says that people are going to ask them about the hope that is in them. Unless you are demonstrating the kind of life that radiates faith and hope, you’re to going to generate such questions. I mean, who cares about the religious preferences of someone who is dull and depressive and not helpful and never does any good? But, get a genuine believer who reverences Christ as Lord of his life out in front of a community of unbelievers who have no hope and sooner or later they’re going to notice. “Hey, what is it with you? You’re different. You really seem to love people and love life and doggone it, we like you. What is it with you?” That’s it! That’s Peter’s predictable moment, when he says you are going to inevitably provoke a question about your faith. When that happens—and it will—BE READY WITH AN ANSWER! Don’t be caught flat-footed, wondering what you’re going to say! This is your moment when your witness is to shine! This is why I urge you, every believer in this church, to have a well-prepared, well-practiced word of witness. When you take the “Beginnings” course, Design for Discipleship, part one, you are given an assignment to write out your testimony, memorize it and have it ready. You are given another assignment, to know how to lead someone through the scriptures to a place of faith in Christ. At least twice a year you will hear me remind you to prepare your testimony and your gospel lesson for that moment when someone asks you about the hope that is in you. And I will say it again as clearly as I know how. If you do not prepare your testimony in a concise and interesting presentation, memorize it and know how to teach a few key passages of scripture on how to become a Christian, you are in direct violation of the will of God in your life! It can’t be any plainer than 1 Peter 3:15. Get ready to share your answer! But I want to get to my real point. There at the end of 3:15 is what I was headed for. That last sentence: But do this with gentleness and respect. There’s our word again: PRAUS – gentleness. Peter simply reminds Christians that they are to share their testimony and their teaching with gentleness and respect. Don’t browbeat people. Don’t take an authoritarian approach – Well, you heathen, now that you have finally gotten around to asking me, the Christian, about how you can be like me, I will gladly share with you from the vast resources of my spiritual wisdom! EXACTLY WRONG! No, we are called to have an attitude like one prominent author put it, LIKE ONE BEGGAR TELLING ANOTHER BEGGAR WHERE TO FIND BREAD. Remember, our primary text, Colossians 3:12, has the word “gentleness” sandwiched between two other words: “patience” and “humility”. Brothers and sisters, we are called to exercise grace in our relationships, both with one another in Christ, and, perhaps especially, with those who have not yet received Christ by faith. You are not to be proud, but gentle and humble. Please, never forget—you are not better than others. You are simply, by the grace of God, forgiven. There is a true story taken from a poignant book by William Borders, entitled Handyman of the Lord: It’s the story of a black man whose poverty had left him begging for food. Ringing the front doorbell at a Southern mansion, the man was told to go around to the back, where he would be given something to eat. The owner of the mansion me him on the back porch and said, “First we will bless the food. Repeat after me, ‘Our father, who art in heaven…’” The hungry man replied, “Your Father, who art in heaven…” “No,” the owner of the house corrected. “Our Father, who are in heaven.” Still the man said, “Your Father who art in heaven. Frustrated, the giver of the good asked, “Why do you insist on saying ‘your Father’ when I keep telling you to say ‘our Father’?’ The man answered, “If I say ‘our Father,’ that would make you and me brothers, and I’m afraid the Lord wouldn’t like it, you askin’ your brother to come to the back porch to get a piece of bread.” Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12       [Back to Top]