THE WAITING FATHER

THE WAITING FATHER Luke 15:11-32 June 15, 2008 Fathers Day Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introduction I preached this message here in this building seven years ago. Back then I decided on the title, “The Waiting Father,” which is also the title of a great little book written by Helmut Thielicke sometime in the 1950s. I like the book, so I borrowed the title. I also qualify to use “The Waiting Father,” because I helped raise three daughters in a house with one bathroom. For twenty years I waited for a turn in the bathroom, waited at stores for the ladies to pick through the clothes on the sales racks and waited through endless primping, hairspray, changes of clothes telephone calls. The message of Luke 15 is "Lost and Found.” Two very short parables precede the story of the Prodigal Son, both of which are about lost things being found and the celebration that went with the finding: a straying sheep is sought and found by a shepherd, and a valuable coin is lost but found by its owner. In the third parable, that of the Prodigal Son, it is a person who is lost—rather who deliberately goes astray. In this parable, no one goes and seeks to find that which is lost. The waiting father patiently prays and watches for his son to return of his own volition. The motivation for telling the three parables, I believe, may be found in verses 1 and 2. Now the tax collectors and “sinners” were all gathering around to hear him. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” This accusation prompts Jesus to tell these stories of the joy of things recovered. Verse 11 begins the story of the hapless young brother who makes foolish choices; it is told to the older brother and those who think like him (namely the judgmental Pharisees and teachers of the law) but woven into the story is a beautiful description of the character of the Father. This father, unlike most of the fathers we know, is perfectly gracious. Gracious to Provide (11-12) Jesus continued, “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.” We have here a picture of a father who is apparently well-off, whose sons are in line for a sizable inheritance. He is a good provider. These are two upper class boys. They have all they need. But, according to the younger son, not all they want—not just yet. Impetuous and immature, He asks for his share of what's coming to him early. And his father agrees! Did you notice: he divided the inheritance and gave half to each son? Of course, fathers are providers. That's the way God designed it: a healthy family originates with father/husband, who is in God's creative design the "head" of the home. In a culture where neglect, abandonment and abuse are way up, and quality time, positive affirmation and even child support are way down, fathers as providers are not a given. But God is not like that. He is re- presented by the father in the parable. He is generous, gracious. God in his wisdom set it up that dads are to provide (which is not to take away from women providing income, only to acknowledge a primary order). They provide for the family's needs, their moral direction, their protection, their discipline ("just wait 'til your father gets home!"), quality spiritual training and encouragement, role model for manhood. Men, our God-given responsibility to provide cannot stop with material things. If it does, you not only fail as a provider, you also raise materialists. God is the Provider beyond all providers. He richly lavishes on us all that we need and beyond, including His undeserved grace and mercy. 1 Timothy 6:17 exhorts us to …put [our] hope in God who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment." He is an awesome Provider and His providence and gracious character are clearly illustrated in this parable where He is clearly symbolized by the father figure. Gracious to Give Freedom (12) Does it seem to you just a little irresponsible of the father to dole out the goods to this whining, impetus son? After all, he was clearly under age, and as the story bears out he was not responsible enough to handle it. But the perfect blend of love and wisdom in a gracious father often causes him to act oddly generous, for a greater cause. In this case, the greater cause is to join in a dangerous but necessary test for the younger son. The wise dad understands the importance and timing of freedom. There comes a time in a child's life when the restrictions and oversight of even the most loving parents becomes such a burden that the child feels he must break free. This is a perfectly natural struggle. It is built into the mind, heart and hormones of our kids, and we had better get used to it. If not, we will be miserable. If we got our unwise, selfish way, and our kids did not get out on their own until we thought they were ready, they'd be living at home with us until we were both gray and bent! The wise parent will recognize when a child simply needs to go. "There's nothing wrong with teenagers that trying to reason with them won't aggravate." And some children must learn the hard way. It's just in them to be strong-willed and stubborn. How many of you parents are pretty sure about this notion that some children are compliant and some are defiant? It's just the way they are-and it's not your fault (although it may be your cross to bear!). This wise father knew he had a defiant one on his hands. He knew that this boy had to come to himself, and do it on his own terms. So, to his credit, the father didn't fight with him, he didn't argue with him, and he didn't demand or beg him to stay, or did he run after him when he decided to leave. Oh, he wept and he worried, but he didn't resist. Understanding the powerful emotions that drove the boy to his decision to leave, the father acknowledged that it was foolish to stand in the way. Of all the hard things parents have to do, releasing is the most difficult. God is a gracious freedom giver, you know. He gave every one of us a free will—the privilege to decide whether or not we would obey Him or rebel and run. There were Adam and Eve, whom God the Father allowed to defy their way out of His favor and His garden into the wilderness of their own volition. The Israelites, His covenant people, who time and again turned their back on the heavenly Father and went whoring after other gods—and God let them go! And then there was another group - us. What tragic stories of rebellion and resistance against the love of God each of us has to tell. And each time we decided to run, our father let us go. He knew the time for reasoning with us was not then, but later. There would be more listening and understanding after our rebellion had run its course and we came to ourselves. That’s when we would truly understand the truth that fellowship with our Father is far superior to the dead end of profligate behavior. But that grace to give freedom comes at a cost, doesn't it, moms and dads. It may be right to grant freedom to emerging adolescents, but it is never easy. Jesus spoke the Father heart of God, O Jerusalem, Jerusalem you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing. [webmasters note: Luke 13:34] Timing is so important. Fathers (and mothers), seek God's face for the wisdom of timing. Ask Him to show you His timing in the release of your children. Learn to release them, a little at a time. The right timing is never when you think it is, but it is a mixture of what your child feels and what God, their loving heavenly Father will allow. Tap into His matchless insight on your child and ask Him in prayer to give you wisdom. Wise dads allow freedom, even for stupid choices. It is only when the defiant child "comes to himself" and realizes the folly of his wrong choices that your advice is going to do any good. Your input into their lives is most valuable when they are very young. Whether you like it or not, by the time they are adolescents, your advice is rapidly diminishing in its effectiveness. When kids are young, their disobedience against your parental direction is wrong and must be met with correction and discipline. But when they are older and go through their rebellion, know this: it is against God, and not so much you anymore, they are rebelling. Never forget that. Always pray for them with this in mind. You must be not fall victim to feeling personally hurt or that you are a failure. You will begin to feel vindictive. In order to pray well for your adult children, you must give them to Him, and then be "ready" for their return to Him. Throughout their time in the far country, their memory of you must be this: that you love them. Gracious to Wait (13-20) Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men."' So he got up and went to his father. What a hard thing it must have been for the father to say goodbye to his son (and his money!), knowing he would face imminent calamity. The father had to face his own anger and feelings of rejection. It is so easy to be hurt by others and what they do, seemingly to us. Human love fails when rejected, but Godly love waits and believes for the best in others. Nowhere is that more true than with our children. When older children rebel, remember: their rebellion is against God, and your job is not to react, but to pray and wait in hope. You know, I don’t believe the prodigal son intended to hurt his father; nor did he intend to hurt himself. He just had to find out for himself (the hard way) that the kind of freedom he sought was really slavery. This wise father knew he could never teach his son what the distant country could. And honestly, what might we expect would happen if the father sat down with his son ONE MORE TIME and explained to him what a fool he was being and how tough it was going to be for him. What? Do you honestly think the son will carefully listen to his dad, then stand and say, "Gee, you're right, dad, what a fool I was to think I could do this!" and then go right into his room and unpack? Not likely! So all that was left for the father was to let him go, pray and wait. And he did that-- with grace. He kissed him goodbye, and there he stood. He probably remained there on the porch watching his son leave until he couldn't see him any longer. Then he stayed another hour, hoping against hope the boy would turn around and come back. The text says, down in verse 20, the father saw his son “While he was still a long way off…” This is a picture of the Waiting Father. You can just imagine him, every morning, afternoon and evening, making his way to that same spot on the front porch waiting and watching for the sight of his son returning. God, the Father, is like that. He is gracious to give freedom to you and me, even though he knows how dangerous it is and how deadly sin will be for us. But He is gracious to grant us our freedom and He is gracious to wait. Gracious to Forgive (20b-24) One morning the wayward son returns. And we have another, deeper look into this father's heart. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again, he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate. Notice what the father did NOT say: He didn't say: "It's about time!" "I told you so" "Where's my money?" "You owe me and your mother an apology" "I Hope you've learned your lesson" No, the waiting father gives the boy the biggest bear hug he can and welcomes him home. When his son tries to apologize, he interrupts his well-rehearsed speech. He barks out orders to the servants (who, incidentally, are there in the welcoming committee as well!), "You, Smitty, go the robe of honor on this boy; James, get that family ring for him-no, no, the expensive one with the big ruby. Sam, quick, kill spotty--let's have steak tonight!" And all this for the Oscar Meyer of the far country! You know, it doesn’t take any grace at all to demand explanations; but it takes much grace to forgive. To forgive means to forfeit my right to hurt you for hurting me. The man had every human right to run down his list of offenses with his son, to let him know in no uncertain terms how disappointed he was with him. But he chose to reassure him of his love. How many family wounds could be healed if someone in the family learned the humility of speaking forgiveness and seeking forgiveness with the simple words, "I'm sorry for hurting you" or “I forgive you.” Gracious to the Unforgiving (28-32) But, there's another character looming in our story. Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. Your brother has come,” he replied, “and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.” The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, “Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!” ”My son,” the father said, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again, he was lost and is found." I can almost understand the kind of grace the father exercised toward the prodigal son, but this one?! He even has forgiveness for this ungrateful older brother. Why, this kid is like Eddie Haskel, Simon Cowell and the Grinch all rolled into one. I mean, what a jerk! He couldn't even rejoice over his brother's return from virtual death! You know, it's one thing to forgive repentant people; but it is hard to be forgiving toward the unforgiving. I'm sure you recall the parable of the merciless servant from Matthew 18. It's the one where the servant who owed the master $10,000 was brought before his creditor and told to pay it back. He begged and pleaded, "I don't have the money, I'm sorry-I just can't pay you." The master took pity on him and forgave him the debt. So what happens? This same guy, freshly exonerated finds someone who owes him ten bucks. He grabs him and starts choking him demanding his money. His debtor begs for leniency, promising to pay him back as soon as he can. But this ingrate has him thrown in jail. We read that story and we think, "What a turkey!" And this is just what the Waiting Father demonstrates in the story before us. He represents God. God is the Father who really matters. And we’re the prodigals and ingrate older brothers. Dads, here’s a poignant question: if this parable were a play, would your kids cast you as the waiting father or the older brother? Conclusion - Three Exhortations 1. A Word for dads - be more like Waiting Father daily. John Stott: "The very notion of fatherhood is derived from the Fatherhood of God. But neither a relation of ANALOGY (God is a father like human fathers), nor PROJECTION (humans "invented" God because they needed a heavenly father figure-Freud), but one of DERIVATION - God's fatherhood being the model and source of all conceivable fatherhood." "Be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect."   2. A Word for the Fatherless - God will be your father. He is totally trustworthy and loving, even if every earthly father you've known hasn't been. He will not disappoint you. Trust Him.   3. Word for Prodigals - Come home   Who is the prodigal in this story? It's anyone who has disobeyed and rebelled against God. The Bible says we have all sinned and fallen short of His expectations of us. God, your heavenly Father, has made provisions to forgive you your entire debt of sin and guilt. He sent His only begotten Son to pay your death debt. And the salvation He bought is a free gift to you, if you will accept it by accepting Him today. To anyone who has wandered away from God today, He wants you to know He is the Waiting Father, ready to welcome you home and throw a party in your honor. And it doesn't matter what you've done, how you've squandered the resources He has given you; it doesn't matter how far into the distant country you've gone. He will forgive and receive you. Adapted from Max Lucado's book No Wonder they Call Him the Savior Maria and her daughter lived in a poor neighborhood on the outskirts of a Brazilian village. Maria's husband had died when Christian was an infant and Maria never remarried. Times were tough but the two of them managed to survive. Christian often talked about going to the city. She dreamed of trading her dusty neighborhood for exciting avenues and the city life. Just the thought of that horrified her mother, who knew exactly what Christian would have to do for a living if she lived in Rio de Janeiro. That's why her heart broke when one morning when awoke to find her daughter's bed empty. She quickly packed, took all the money she had and left for Rio herself. On her way she stopped at a drugstore. She entered the small photo booth and took dozens of cheap pictures of herself. With her purse full of black & White photos, she boarded the bus to Rio. Maria knew her daughter had no money. She also knew her daughter was too stubborn to give up. When pride meets hunger, a human being will do things that were before unthinkable. Knowing this, Maria began her search. Bars, hotels, nightclubs, any place with the reputation for streetwalkers. She went to them all. And at each place Maria left her photo taped to a bathroom mirror, talked to a hotel bulletin board, fastened to a corner telephone booth. And on the back of each photo she wrote a note. When her pictures and her money ran out, Maria went home. A few weeks later young Christina descended the hotel stairs. Her young face was tired. Her dreams had become a nightmare. But as she reached the bottom of the stairs, her eyes noticed a familiar face. She blinked and looked again-there on a lobby mirror was a small picture of her mother. Christina's eyes burned and her throat tightened as she walked across the room and removed the photo. Written on the back was a compelling invitation - "Whatever you've done, whatever you have become, it doesn't matter. Please come home.” And she did.       [Back to Top]