THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN

THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN Proverbs 31:10-31 May 11, 2008 Mothers Day Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introduction Happy Mother’s Day! One of my favorite columns by one of my favorite columnists, Erma Bombeck, tells of God in the act of creating mothers. She says that on the day God created mothers He had already worked long overtime. And an angel said to Him, "Lord, you sure are spending a lot of time on this one." The Lord turned & said, "Have you read the specs on this model? She is supposed to be completely washable, but not plastic. She is to have 180 moving parts, all of them replaceable. She is to have a kiss that will heal everything from a broken leg to a broken heart. She is to have a lap that will disappear whenever she stands up. She is to be able to function on black coffee & leftovers. And she is supposed to have six pairs of hands." "Six pairs of hands," said the angel, "that’s impossible." "It’s not the six pairs of hands that bother me." said the Lord, "It’s the three pairs of eyes. She is supposed to have one pair that sees through closed doors so that whenever she says, `What are you kids doing in there?’ she already knows what they’re doing in there." "She has another pair in the back of her head to see all the things she is not supposed to see but must see. And then she has one pair right in front that can look at a child that just goofed up & communicate love & understanding without saying a word." "That’s too much." said the angel, "You can’t put that much in one model. Why don’t you rest for a while & resume your creating tomorrow?" "No, I can’t," said the Lord. "I’m close to creating someone very much like myself. I’ve already come up with a model who can heal herself when she is sick, who can feed a family of six with one pound of hamburger, and who can persuade a nine year old to take a shower." Then the angel looked at the model of motherhood a little more closely and said, "She’s too soft." "Oh, but she is tough," said the Lord. "You’d be surprised at how much this mother can do." "Can she think?" asked the angel. "Not only can she think," said the Lord, "but she can reason and compromise and persuade." Then the angel reached over & touched her cheek. "This one has a leak," he said. "I told you that you couldn’t put that much in one model." "That’s not a leak," said the Lord. "That’s a tear." Preaching a Mother’s Day message is always a little daunting. In any congregation on any given Mother’s Day there will be some who have recently lost their mother, or are otherwise separated from their mother by many miles or longstanding wounds. As well, there are women for who biological motherhood is not possible; some who are still waiting and hoping to be mothers. For some their motherhood came upon them and was not necessarily welcome. Some never knew their moms, others moms weren’t all that nice. Some here today are mothers but are facing it with great trial. This morning I want to acknowledge all of those conditions, and encourage you all to pray for one another concerning needs in the lives of one another. For our study in the Word, we will turn to Proverbs 31. Beginning with verse ten, this chapter is known as the “Virtuous Woman” chapter. Before we study this text together, let me make two observations. First, the context of this chapter is early middle-eastern culture, as you will be able to tell, but the general principles of godly womanhood are clear and transferable to our day. Secondly, the intent of this chapter was never to harangue women into perfection, though all of us of both genders find our upward calling in the pages of the Bible. This is a celebration of the qualities of a godly woman/wife/mother. I want you to hear it that way, will you? And by the end of our study, I believe we’ll have reason enough to be thankful for our mothers and the other women in our lives. PROVERBS 31:10-31 (just follow the verses with me) 31:10 – “a wife of noble character” ‘Anybody here buy a Mother’s Day card that thanked her for being of noble character? It’s really a great term, and out not to be thought of as old-fashioned. What the text describes is the perfect woman – a ten on a scale of 1-10. What the younger crowd would call an “awesome babe” (excluding any immoral sexual connotations). This is the kind of woman every young man wants to marry, and many an older man is glad he did. When King Lemuel asks, “who can find?” this kind of woman, he’s saying: they’re rare! He compares their rarity to finding a cache of perfect rubies. In chapters 8 and 9, rubies are symbolic of wisdom, integrity and intelligence. In Proverbs wisdom is virtually personified, even denoted with feminine pronouns. The life of the Proverbs 31 noble woman exudes godly wisdom—and that in very practical ways, as we will see: creativity, initiative, care for others, justice and righteousness. 31:11 and 31:12-13 – The woman is pictured here not only as a loving spouse, but also a financial asset. The virtuous woman is quite enterprising, and contributes enormously to the welfare of the household. Watch – in verses 14-19 she is pictured as a true entrepreneur: rising early, investing in real estate, gardening on a grand scale and working hard, while remaining prudent, just and charitable (an interesting and challenging balance). So, ladies, remember, you as the noblewoman glorify God even in your economic savvy—as you clip coupons, shop the sales, save and serve leftovers, mend clothes, clean and restore things instead of buying new ones. You’re a godly entrepreneur. 31:14-15 31:16-17 31:18-19 31:20-21 – The virtuous woman is not miserly, but generous toward the needy. She’s also a wise planner. She makes provision for the hard winter, and her family is well-clothed (to dress in scarlet or purple in that day meant that, even though you were not extremely well-off, you had a quality and attractive wardrobe). Not many people make their own clothes any more—does that mean that there are no wise women? No, it means they are busying themselves shopping the sales and getting deals. We should thank God for wives and moms who economize and maximize, savings lots of money—so we can afford more important things—like power tools and golf clubs! 31:22-23 – She is so honored in the city that it reflects well on her husband. It seems he is even benefiting politically by her renown. I know what that’s like—everywhere I go, when I’m introduced as the pastor at MECF, the response is, “Oh, you’re Charlotte’s husband!” I don’t mind, because as they recognize me as her husband, there’s a look in their eyes that says, “You’re a lucky man!” And ‘you know what? They’re absolutely right! This is so reflective of that culture, one that in many places in Asia and Africa is still extant. We noticed it in Niger on our mission visits there. The women do almost all the work: from caring for children to preparing meals AND tending the cattle and sheep! Where are the men? They are assembled somewhere talking religion and politics—where they met was the city gates. (I’m hoping to retire to there!) 31:24-25 – Again, the virtuous woman is well-prepared for anything that might befall her and her family. If you should drop in on Billy and Cheryl Mathews unexpectedly, day or night, they’re ready for you. They greet you warmly, get you comfortably seated and before you know it, Cheryl has some fancy snack or dessert right out of the oven. She makes things ahead and has them in the freezer. Quick as a wink they’re thawed and served. The noble woman of Proverbs 31 has worked hard to be in a position of preparedness—so much so, that just thinking about what might happen around the corner makes her giggle and say, “No problem—we’re ready for that eventuality!” 31:26-27 – To speak with wisdom was to speak about the Word of God. The venerable older adults in that culture were seen as rich sources of wise sayings and counsel. A noble woman of any age was one who could converse freely about the Law and the Prophets. Such women were prized because of their wisdom and were counted on to mentor the younger women. And the men took great pride in having wives who studiously taught themselves and others in scriptural truth. In verse 27 again, we see the wise woman busying herself with all the detailed work of keeping the household and the budget running smoothly. She is industrious and constantly taking care of business. She found great fulfillment in being the “manager” of the home and family. And her handling all those things with such alacrity apparently impresses her husband and the children. Thank God for the impressive and extremely helpful organization our moms and wives bring to our lives! Recognize that as God’s providence, men & kids. Look at verse 28. 31:28-29 – Yes, it is quite a surprise to see, right there in God’s Word, that children are thankful and appreciative. Oh, for the first 19 years or so, they just take it for granted—mom can do anything that needs doing. Sometime around age 20 they wake up and say, “Wow, she can do anything—and everything—simultaneously!” That’s what it means when it says, “they arise and call her blessed.” And once a year on Mother’s Day they and their dads say to mother: “Hey, mom you’re terrific! We love you!” Ladies, take heart if you think you live with and are raising a bunch of ingrates who never notice or care, the Word says that eventually they will arise and call you blessed. Honestly, you ladies sometimes do creep me out. You have this spooky ability to multi-task. We men can focus on only one thing at a time. Not you—you’re finishing a couple loads of laundry while you’re reading a magazine article. On one hip is a baby and the other hand is stirring the macaroni and cheese. And you’re simultaneously helping the older child with homework—and all the while the television is on and you don’t miss a thing Oprah says! It boggles the mind—I just don’t get it! If I’m cleaning my tennis shoes—that’s all I can handle! If somebody interrupts me with even the simplest of questions, I can’t handle it! And if the phone rings—well that ruins everything. (“What?” illustration) But look at the content of her husbands praise of her (verse 29). Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Again, why is this not in a Hallmark card. What an honest, chivalrous accolade for a man to share with his godly wife: you surpass them all. Could I see the hands of the women who might like to hear something like that once in awhile? Men and children, Arise! Call her blessed, tell her she surpasses all. 31:30-31 – How perfectly verse 30 summarizes the wonder of a woman (a wife and a mom). Not the first half of the verse, guys. Don’t go up to your wife with Bible and hand and say “I want to tell you something I feel about you, dear: ‘Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting…’ ” I think you might want to focus more on that last half of that verse: …a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Dads and kids, verse 31 is for you this morning. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. For us to truly honor the women in our lives, we must go much further than the token behaviors of Mother’s Day. You know: the cards, the candy, the dinner out, the gifts. We must become year-round “noticers” and givers of praise and thanks. Be grateful to God and to her. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. That’s the key to it all, isn’t it? I’ll say again: one of the simplest and most profound truths about marriage and family: Good Christian men make great husbands and dads. And good Christian women make great wives and moms. If you want to get on a fast track toward being this kind of wife and mother, there is one very wrong way to do it, and one very right way to do it. The wrong way is clear. Try to do it in your own strength. Do you know why this passage is troubles so many women? They feel they don’t measure up to it and they feel it’s impossible. Of course you’re not that perfect super-mom or super-wife. Like the rest of us, you’re a sinner. Not measuring up to Proverbs 31 is not going to make you a sinner. You already are a sinner. And being a sinner is what keeps you from measuring up to such high standards. Don’t waste your time trying to be better on your own, and don’t waste your time feeling bad about being less than Proverbs 31. It’s not a guilt trip—it’s a call to repentance and faith. Turn to the God who made you, who loves you and proved it by dying for you while you were still a sinner. Let Him save you, love you, forgive you; let Him enter your life by His Holy Spirit and begin His transformation process in your life. In this process, which is called repentance, you simply tell God that you want to get honest with Him. Tell Him you acknowledge what you and He already know—you’ve fallen short of His expectations of you. You’ve sinned. Ask Him I simple faith to completely forgive you and to restore you to a place of real fellowship with Him. You know He will do it—He’s already died for you! He’s just waiting for you to acknowledge your need for His salvation. Admit to Him you can’t do it on your own. Ask Him to save you and make you His child. Ask Him to send His Spirit into your life and renew you. It’s what He wants to do for you, but He is waiting for you to take that step of faith. Once you make that step of faith, you are positioned to grow into spiritual maturity and Proverbs 31-ness. He promises to work at your deepest levels, fixing all the wrong stuff, healing all that’s broken and restoring His own image in your life. If you feel you’ve not been the best mom or wife, that somehow you’ve failed God and those you love the most, God wants you to know something this morning: He loves you, right where you are right now. And He proved it by leaving heaven to come and find you. He proved it by dying in your place in order to forgive your sins and shortcomings. It is not about condemnation—it is about forgiveness; it is about acceptance! Take Him at His Word.     [Back to Top]