WISE PARENTS–WISE KIDS

WISE PARENTS–WISE KIDS Deuteronomy 6:4-9 February 1, 2009 Given by: Pastor Rich Bersett [Index of Past Messages] Introduction Fifteen things I’ve learned from my kids: 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2. A 3-year olds voice at maximum volume is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3.  If you hook a dog leash to a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman under- wear & a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spatter paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 4.  When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. 5.  Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, lots of it. 6.  80% of men who just heard that will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. 7.  Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy. 8.  Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 9.  Super glue is forever. 10.  No matter how much faith a child has and how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool he still can't walk on water. 11.  Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 12. The fire department in our city has a 5-minute response time. 13.  The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 14.  It will, however, make cats dizzy. 15.  Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. The point of our study this morning is What are our kids learning from us? Pray our hearts may be open. Job #1 for Christian Parents – Be wise A young man sent a letter to author and speaker, Phil Callaway, to get his advice. He said he and his wife were about to have their first child and he was scared to death. Callaway wrote back with these memorable words: May 31, 1986, was a Saturday. My friends played softball that day. I paced a hospital hallway with my wife. At least I think it was my wife. Whereas Ramona had always been rather sweet and soft-spoken, this woman was more like Attila the Hun in a hospital gown. "Rub my back," she commanded. "Don't touch me!" She hollered. This continued for what seemed like 14 days, until I found myself face to face with my firstborn son. Sure, he was a little wrinkly, but who could blame him? I held him close. I touched his tiny fingers, and counted his toes—all ten of them. I looked into his eyes. They were blue. Like mine. Then the most amazing thing happened. A revival, I suppose. As I looked into those blue eyes, it was as if I heard these words: "Callaway, for the first 25 years of your life you've been a hypocrite. You've been close to the church but far from God. You are holding in your arms the one person you'll never be able to hide it from. If you think this little guy won't see it, you're naive." People ask me when I became a Christian, and I say May 31, 1986. You see, that night for the first time in my life, I bowed my head and said, "Dear God, I'm sorry. Make me real. I want my precious little boy to hunger and thirst after righteousness. If he won't learn to from me, he has two strikes against him already." I meant every word. It's been slow-going sometimes, but I believe God heard that prayer. Five years later this same little boy looked up at me one night and said, "Daddy, I wanna be like you," and tears came to my eyes. I don't have all the child-rearing answers for you. But I do know this: If you want your child to love God, [you] love Him first. If you want your son to obey, be obedient to God’s still small voice. When you read Deuteronomy 6:4-5 it strikes you right away that Jesus was not the first one to speak the greatest commandment. When He was asked that trick question by one of the experts in Jewish law, What is the greatest commandment? He didn’t : Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. The Shema had a most distinctive place among the Israelites —and still does among conservative and orthodox Jews. It is the prayer they recited regularly in their daily prayers. God impressed it upon Moses that the most important thing of all is to know Him—to know Him (to understand what He has revealed to us about Himself and His will in His Word), to honor Him (respect/ fear Him), and to love Him (exclusively and completely). Brothers and sisters, this is the essence of our lives as believers. And it is all the more important for parents who are charged with the shaping of their children’s lives! If you’re going to teach the faith, you must live the faith. I’ve witnessed quite a few half-hearted Christians wake up when they became parents. Suddenly they realized the awesome responsibility that was theirs, and they knew it was time to get serious about their own relationship with the Lord so they could raise their children in the faith. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. The Bible is replete with this theme: put God first and everything else will begin to line up in godly fashion in your life. C.S. Lewis once wrote about his relationship with God and his beloved wife: At the end of a long letter, C. S. Lewis wrote: "When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. Insofar as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving toward the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased." One wise author put it this way: This is wisdom: to live your one and only life in such a way that when it comes to an end, and it will, God looks at it and says, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done." This is wisdom. From the moment you wake up in the morning until you go to bed at night, you love God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength, and then you walk through the day and love the people that you see [beginning with your kids]. Love them like you love yourself. Then become a servant of the world. That's wisdom from a big God. One elder statesman of a Christian church has devoted himself to a fifty-year study of Christian and non-Christian families. He says that in American culture today, most young adults who are now following Jesus Christ either come from non-Christian homes where they were converted to Christ in their teenage years, or they come from homes where they grew up in love with Jesus because mom and dad were so in love with Jesus that Christian love permeated their lives. It passed through their pores. Very few adult believers come from homes where there was a kind of indifferent, apathetic commitment to Christ. Deuteronomy urges on parents the same thing that God was speaking to the heart of Phil Callaway in our earlier illustration. Crisis moments in our lives are perfect opportunities to listen with extraordinary care to the voice of God calling us into genuine and committed relationships with Him. Anything less, like a half-hearted faith—which can never be real faith—will ever do. It is a sobering thought to suggest that, in American culture, the chances might be better for a child to become a Christian growing up in a non-Christian home than for a child growing up in a home that has an indifferent, apathetic commitment to Jesus Christ. Deuteronomy 6 says that a love for God must saturate the parent for it to ever saturate his child. That’s not to suggest that one love God simply because our children need us to. That’s mere cosmetic Pharisaism. Plus, it doesn’t work. Love God because God wants you to and He will help you to want to as well. Job #2 for Christian Parents – Make Your Kids Wise Look again at verse 6 and following. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Not only are we to love God with all our hearts, souls and strength, but we are called to know, love and share His Word as well. The first thing this verse teaches is precisely what we saw in Colossians 3:16 a month ago – These commandments are to be upon your hearts. If that sounds an awful lot like Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, it’s because it’s the same tune in a different key. God manifestly holds parents responsible for teaching their children, and the only textbook He personally gave us is the Bible. Let His word dwell in you richly, and in your kids. Listen to the next sentence: Impress them on your children. The use of the word “impress” in this translation is suggestive of an imprint. Here’s the gist: you will have your children for, say, 18 or so years. That is precisely the amount of time you have to tattoo them with the wisdom of the Word of God. How many of you more seasoned parents would agree with me that that times flies by very quickly? Before you know it, they’re grown right past the point where you have much say in their spiritual formation. I urge you in the Lord, don’t waste this precious time. And studies consistently show, the earlier you begin, the more effective your teaching and example are in their lives. Something that Cheryl Mathews shared a couple weeks ago bears repeating. Consider the awesome and priceless value of your children seeing you regularly studying God’s Word. That makes an impression on your children. Again, that would be an inferior reason for studying the Word of God, but whatever it takes to get you started… It is the most perfect parenting you can do—it is precisely God’s will for believing parents. Share wisdom and insights you receive as you study it. Make them hungry to know the truth by demonstrating how God’s truth satisfies you. Make clear to them how much you love His Word, how much it means to you. Let me frighten you with a taste of research from Barna. Most parents believe they are primarily responsible for the spiritual development of their children, but few of them spend time interacting with their youngsters on religious matters, according to the latest from the Barna Research Group. Close to nine out of ten parents of children under 13 (85 percent) believe they have the primary responsibility for teaching their children about religious beliefs and spiritual issues. However, the survey of 1,010 adults found that parents have no plan for the spiritual development of their children, do not consider it a priority, have little or no training in how to nurture a child's faith, have no related standards to satisfy, and experience no accountability for their actions. Although about two out of three parents of children under 12 attend religious services at least once a month and generally take their children with them, most are willing to let their church provide all of their youngsters' spiritual training. That is not enough! It is not nearly enough! Especially when you consider that seeing the truth lived out in everyday life is the greatest instruction of all. And consider the converse: with little or no biblical training in the home, and reinforced by a lifestyle that is not in keeping with the scriptures, the good training the children receive in Kid City or Sunday School is easily negated by a parent’s carnal example. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Catch that, will you? Moses is speaking from God and for God when he says there are some unique times when we should make a special effort at talking about the Word with our children: • When you sit at home – I know it’s tricky wording, but here’s what that means: it means, when you stay home! •  When you walk along the road – Here’s another tricky one! This means when you go away from your home. Did you ever leave the Bibles at home when you went on vacation? Have you ever thought of the value of the time you have riding in the car to soccer or Wal-Mart? There might be something just a little more worthwhile than a video or a secular radio station spewing audio trash all over your car. Talk about the Word! •  When you lie down – Again, it means exactly what it says. How many storybooks are read as you tuck your child into bed! What a wonderfully warm and receptive few moments to read a pre-selected passage from God’s Word! It’s a wonderful prelude to bedtime prayer. If nothing else, it says to your child this Book is important. •  When you get up – First thing in the morning, before breakfast, cartoons and running off to school. What a great time to practice memory verses, or to share a reflection on one of Jesus’ parables! Read a paragraph or two while the kids eat their cheerios—it beats the cereal box reading! Who knows, your children might even develop a habit of reading God’s Word every morning for the rest of their lives! Talk about your breakfast of champions! Do notice anything about these special times to share God’s Word with your kids? Basically, there is no time that is inappropriate for spiritual training for children. Wise parents “weave” the Word into every activity of their family’s life together! Verses eight and nine tell us to make the Word of God available, binding them to our hands and on our foreheads. In the 1st century the Pharisees did these things literally—and in Mat. 23 Jesus rebuked them for hypocrisy and spiritual grandstanding. Maybe the idea of writing verses on your front door with a magic marker doesn’t appeal to you, and sporting dangling phylacteries would clash with your wardrobe. How can we honor the spirit of these verses without going weird or Pharisaical? Maybe you prefer the idea of sticking a post-it note of a special psalm on the mirror where you can read it several times a day. How about a proverb on your computer screen saver? A memory verse on the dash of your car, a business card with a verse from the gospels that touched you in your devotions that morning. A CD of the Bible to keep you company during your commute. A new goal to read through the Bible this year. The point is, how will your kids, who are watching your every move—never doubt that—ever come to believe God’s Word is valuable to you? Maybe they should see you tuning in to a Christian radio station, or going over your notes from Sunday’s teaching. How about a discussion after school on the fruit of the Spirit or a little talk about biblical creation—you know, to sort of “undo” some of the other propaganda they’ve encountered in science class. From your own rich study in the Word you can bring a brief practical teaching to your child based on some experience he had at school. Talk with her about healthy relationships from the pages of scripture so she’ll understand what really happened at recess. The idea is plain. Keep the Word of God handy and obvious—for you and the kids. You need to teach the children sometime, and Deuteronomy six suggests that any time and all the time are good times for sharing the Truth of the scriptures. According to a recent study by Purdue University, words are just as mighty as deeds when it comes to parents passing on religious beliefs. The study, which appeared in the May/June 1999 issue of the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, found that children were more likely to adopt their parents' beliefs when they had a clear understanding of what the parents believed. Lynn Okagaki (associate professor of child development and family studies at Purdue), who conducted the study, queried 58 female and 36 male students between the ages of 18 and 25. "We found the accuracy of a child's perception of parent's beliefs is affected by all of the things that a parent does," she said. This includes taking the time to explain their beliefs and encouraging the child to participate in activities the parents think support those beliefs. What you do and what you say do make a difference! No wonder Moses instructed the Israelites to talk about the Ten Commandments with their children when they got up in the morning, as they went about their daily routines, and as they went to bed at night. God knows that your priorities will become their priorities; your habits will become their habits; your values will become their values; your devotion to Truth will be theirs. Conclusion Parents, you are the God-appointed youth minister for your children. He gave them to you. He charges you with their supervision, protection and nurture. They do not belong to the state; and they are not the church’s children. You are your children’s primary teacher; their education, moral and religious training are your responsibility. Because you are their parent, they answer to you. You supervise your own children, and you are to moderate anyone else who augments that training. You answer to God for the education and training of your kids. Doug Sword told this story in Christian Parenting Today: "As I was giving my 4-year-old son a bath, I was trying to hurry because Monday Night Football would be on soon. He began telling me that Christmas was coming and that we needed to have a birthday party for Jesus. We talked a little more, and then he asked, "What does it mean to have Jesus in your heart?" On the outside I was calm, but inwardly my heart was doing flips. I explained that sometimes we do bad things and that God sent his son Jesus to die on the cross to pay the penalty for when we disobey. We need to ask God to forgive us and for Jesus to come into our heart to help us to obey God. He said, "Can I ask Jesus to come into my heart?" It was the greatest pleasure a father can have. I don’t remember who won the football game, but I’ll never forget leading my son to Christ. I close with a question: How will your children remember you, and the related question, How familiar will they be with God’s Word? Michael Reagan received many gifts from his father, President Ronald Reagan. But at the 40th President's sunset funeral, Michael described the greatest gift a child can receive: I was so proud to have the Reagan name and to be Ronald Reagan's son. What a great honor. He gave me a lot of gifts as a child—gave me a horse, gave me a car, gave me a lot of things. But there's a gift he gave me that I think is wonderful for every father to give every son. Last Saturday, when he opened his eyes for the last time…that's when I realized the gift that he gave to me: that he was going to be with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He had—back in 1988 on a flight from Washington, D.C. to Point Mugu—told me about his love of God, his love of Christ as his Savior. I didn't know then what it all meant. But I certainly, certainly know now. I can't think of a better gift for a father to give a son. And I hope to honor my father by giving my son, Cameron, and my daughter, Ashley, that very same gift he gave to me. Knowing where he is this very moment, this very day, that he is in heaven, I can only promise my father this: Dad, when I go, I will go to heaven, too. And you and I and my sister, Maureen, who went before us, we will dance with the heavenly host of angels before the presence of God. We will do it melanoma-and Alzheimer's-free. Your first move, mom and dad, is faith in Jesus Christ. The Bible says we are all sinners and that Jesus Christ came to buy us out of that slavery. If you’re not a Christian, we in the community of faith urge you to be reconciled to God through faith in Jesus. Speak to a Christian you know & trust about walking you through the biblical way of entrusting your life to God through Jesus.     [Back to Top]