Messy Relationships: Are They Worth It?
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Introduction: How many of you have ever had a difficult relationship? Sometimes in relationships we might be tempted to ask, “Is this even worth it?” What are some reasons you can think of that can make relationships difficult?
How many of you have maybe even had a conversation like this?
“What happened to us? I thought we were good friends. I thought I could trust you.”
“After everything I can’t believe you would blame me for this. You’ve hurt me too.”
“Give me a break! This is what you ALWAYS do. Go ahead make me the bad guy! You can see all the problems with me, but can’t even see that you betrayed my trust when you told them what I had told you in confidence.”
“You never told me it was a secret. I never imagined you would be so sensitive.”
“I thought we were good enough friends that you wouldn’t gossip about me. I didn’t think I would have to ask you that. Maybe our friendship just doesn’t matter to you anymore.”
“THERE IT IS! You always go on about how you are such a better friend than I am. You just like waiting until I mess up so that you can point it out.”
“Seriously! You just have to accuse me don’t you?!”
Does this conversation sound familiar? All of us at some point have felt the sting of betrayal and the disappointment of relationships. No matter what the relationship is (romantic, sibling, parental, co-worker, etc . . .) it never delivers on all the hype. We fantasize about the perfect relationship of trust but then come face to face with reality and sometimes reality bites and we are left wondering: are relationships worth all the trouble?
Like everything else, in order to answer that question we must see what the Bible has to say about relationships?
Created for Relationships
Created for Relationships
First, we must recognize that God Himself said in that it is not good for man to be alone
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
This statement indicates God’s design for humanity. God did not create us to be alone but created us to be relational. God created us to be relational because He is relational. He has always existed in a perfect relationship within the Trinity. God is not saying that Adam is lonely and so He took pity on Him. He is saying I did not create Adam to be alone and so I will give him someone he can relate to. does address the union of Adam and Eve but it also includes other relationships as well. Through Eve others would come that they could both relate to. I believe this is the case because the word helper used here speaks throughout the rest of the Old Testament of the nature of all kinds of relationships. In fact, more often than not, when this word is used it is used referring to God as our helper. Helper describes a companion with whom we can relate and it is here in that at the beginning of mankind’s existence God established the fact that mankind is not designed to be alone.
Tempted to Idolize Relationships
Tempted to Idolize Relationships
As we think about , it is clear that the main relationship that God intended man to have was with whom? Yes! Our relationship with God forms the foundation for our relationships with everyone else.
Biblical Proof: The broken relationship of Adam and Eve after their broken relationship with God.
All of creation was an illustration that before anyone else Adam and Eve totally relied on God. However, because we live in a fallen world, we are often tempted to treat people and the creation of God as more important than God. That is what we call idolatry. God intended creation to act as a road sign to His glory but we often settle for the road signs and not the destination.
Example: Imagine going on a road trip to Disney World and stopping for vacation when you came to first road sign for Orlando?
Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.
who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
The great irony is that when we treat other relationships as most important we end up ruining the relationships that we idolized and that God intended us to enjoy in the first place.
Example: Child-centered home
Triangle relationship illustration.
The Bible is all about a relationship, just not primarily our human ones. Primarily the Bible is about relating to God and once we relate to God well then we can love and respect others as God intended.
Hoping for an Easy Fix
Hoping for an Easy Fix
We all look for strategies that we can use to better relate to others and ease the pain of hard work in our relationships. We can place our hope in better planning, better communication, personality types, and etc . . . Sometimes these things can help, but the reality of our relationships is that our pain in relationships goes far deeper than any strategy can fix. We desperately need to be set free from the slavery of our selfishness. Jesus is the only real hope we have for addressing our real issue - which is an issue of the heart.
1 Corinthians 12:9
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Real Hope for Seemingly Hopeless Relationships
Real Hope for Seemingly Hopeless Relationships
How many of you have ever been discouraged by disappointments in relationships? How many of you feel up to the task of forging perfect relationships? Good! Because in forging God-honoring relationships there is something that we have to realize - there is no human relationship that will satisfy and every human relationship we have has been affected by sin. Our human relationships are broken, but yet the Bible is clear that we need human relationships. So, what do we do? Here’s the hope and truth we all need: the shed blood of Jesus Christ forms the foundation for our relationship with God and our relationship with God forms the foundation for our relationships with everyone else. Jesus experienced a broken relationship so that your relationships could be healed.
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”
Jesus exposed Himself to broken relationships in order to redeem our broken relationships. The hope we have for relationships is that through the redeeming power of the gospel we can be characterized by humility, love, gentleness, kindness, forgiveness, patience, and compassion. Jesus has the power to make us into new creatures that can relate to each other and enjoy each other as God intended.
Conclusion: Relationships are messy but are they worth it? Yes! Relationships are worth it because it is against our created nature to be alone. We may sometimes be tempted to idolize relationships but we must realize that they can never satisfy. We must also realize that there are no human strategies that can fix or heal our relationships, but we must cast our seemingly hopeless relationships on Jesus and trust what He is doing in our lives. Relationships are worth it because Christ has healed our relationship with the Father so that we can share with others how their relationships with the Father can be mended as well.
