Godly Parenting
Notes
Transcript
Background
Background
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Third Sermon in our sermon series Family Matters, because Family Matters to God
Children, obey your parents in the Lord..
God’s commands are there for our happiness
I want to address something I said last Sunday that ha:
If you are married today, your personal happiness is contingent on the success of your marriage.
This statement have raised eyebrows because reality is not every marriage will be successful. Actually there are some here who are divorced or going through divorce.
What makes marriage difficult is that it takes the cooperation and consent of two parties. One side can try, but it takes the agreement of both spouses to make marriage work.
What about for those that are divorced? If the statement is true that personal happiness is only hinged on the success of my marriage does it mean then that if I am divorced or in the process of it that I no longer will attain to personal happiness.
What about that? If the statement is true that personal happiness is only hinged on the success of my marriage does it mean then that if I am divorced or in the process of it that I no longer will attain to personal happiness.
This morning, I was led by the Lord to further explain this:
The gospel is a message of love.
God wants you to be happy and therefore He gave us a prescription for happiness.
Do you have the right to be happy your own way? Well, God has never taken away your free will. People still choose their own path to happiness.
God’s commands about marriage and family is not to limit your happiness but they are there to keep you from more unhappiness if you don’t obey them!
When you see the flashing signs on the highway, snowy road conditions or road icy, it is not to limit what your SUV’s or AWD vehicles can do. It is to keep you safe and alive!
Today it is all about personal happiness. People spend a lot of money to feel good about themselves.
So if you are married today and you are finding happiness, satisfaction and even affirmation that you are supposed to get from your spouse from someone else. Give it up, repent and stay with God’s commands for the sake of your marriage and the sake of your children!
Marriage is spiritual and their are spiritual consequences on other people…
By extension, our personal happiness (according to God’s prescription) cannot be separated from the success of our families.
Today it is all about personal happiness. People spend a lot of money to feel good about themselves.
The other day, I was at a gym with a friend who was signing up for membership. Their tag line caught my attention, it was really interesting: “Welcome to the Judgement-free zone”.
Is this heaven? Wow this should be the tag line of our church.
In reality if you are new here in this church, “You have just entered the No Condemnation Zone.”
- There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.
I knew from the onset that slogan: “Judgement-free” zone meant that people can come to that fitness center in all shapes and sizes, with their own unique fitness goals and progress at their own pace without anyone scrutinizing or judging them.
It is about people feeling good, and people spend money to feel good about themselves...
The Bible’s prescription is the formula to true happiness.
It doesn’t preclude that we can be happy on our own, we can be successful but if we neglect our families then the detriment and consequences are far more lasting than the positive effects of our personal success...
One thing that is tragic about family in society today is that we see people who are successful in their careers but failures in their parenting:
We see men in the Bible who were lousy parents.
Eli, in 1 Samuel was the High priest in Israel of his time. But he was the father of two wicked sons, Hophni and Phinehas. These sons commited sexual immorality and as priests, they desecrated the Holy ark of the covenant. A man of God called out Eli for honoring his sons more than God. Although Eli chastised Hophni and Phinehas, he did not do anything to correct their sinful behavior.
That’s Eli, but there is another great man from the Bible who is revered even now but was a lousy father.
King David.
Known as the one who slew the giant, who defeated the enemy nations of Israel, became the greatest king of the United Kingdom of Israel and yet he was a lousy father.
Only by God’s grace that the Lord still saw him as a man after God’s own heart and we know him today as the Psalmist who loved God and left us many psalms that are part of our meditations.. God’s grace.
Well if God’s grace redeemed David, even though he was not a good father to his kids then why does parenting matter to me?
Well for all his greatness, David suffered through many devastating things:
He showed a bad example to his kids with his many wives and he lost a child because of his adultery and murder. Because of that, “The sword never departed from the house of David”.
One of his sons committed incest by raping his stepsister (David’s daughter from another wife).
Because he did not discipline this son who raped his step sister. Her full biological brother, took vengeance and murdered David’s son who committed rape.
Because David did not do anything to discipline this son who murdered his stepbrother, this son, Absalom (who happened to be David’s favorite son) rebelled against his rule, took over his kingdom and the worst consequence is that he was murdered by one of David’s trusted men.
People suffer and get hurt if we neglect family because we have divorced its success from our own personal happiness.
I can be successful in what I do..
When I die, I want my kids to remember me most not as one who had a great career in Information Technology, not even as a pastor or anything else. But simply as Daddy who loved them and their mom unconditionally and the husband who stayed true to their mommy.
Understand what matters most.
This is for you too kids, know your Biblical role in your family.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Same here, these commands “Obey your parents in the Lord.” and “Honor your Father and Your mother” are not to spoil the fun, these commandments are there as a prescription to happiness.
Teenagers and young adults, What are the reasons why you should obey your parents?
Call the Kids.
It is in accordance to God’ order of things.
“For this is right.”
Obedience is a command from God.
Don’t only obey your parents but you should respect them, love them, honor them and care for them when they are old. What if
Obedience brings blessing.
Rebellion brings curse.
That I might live a long life.
Rebellion to your parents is the mother of all bad choices that will lead to other choices that are unhealthy for your life.
Now kids, if you disobey your parents that is already an unhealthy decision, because they can take away your privileges and you suffer severe consequences.
Listen: I said privilege and not a right. Only your parents have the right to give you the privileges that you enjoy. They are not rights that cannot be taken away from you!
Now kids, if you disobey your parents
Parents, make the punishment stick, and be consistent— Dad takes iPads away, On the drive home from school, mommy can I borrow your iPhone?
The Bible does not talk about only taking away privileges, It talks about a ROD.
15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Parents, when we discipline our child, the goal is not to beat them up. Godly Discipline is different from Corporal punishment.
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Parents, when we discipline our child, the goal is not to beat them up. Godly Discipline is different from Corporal punishment.
Corporal punishment is focused on the physical act of beating. Godly discipline is focused on correcting the child for his own good.
When your kids willfully disobey and rebel against you, discipline is a Biblical tool that we can employ as a deterrent.
Remember this about Godly discipline.
It is a way to break our children’s will but not to crush their spirit.
When Godly discipline takes place in our homes, make sure that it is accompanied by a Biblical lesson. Parents, we should build our children up and not tear them down.
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
USing your hand or a closed fist, takes the dignity of our children.
USing your hand or a closed fist, takes the dignity of our children.
6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Train up, breaking down truth into forms that kids can digest it..
Training of our kids happens in the homes. We have a great Sunday school program for the kids.. but what training is happening in our homes? Some parents make this the basis of choosing a church!
Raising up our kids doesn’t happen in church, their schools. Fathers, mothers, raising up our kids and training them in godliness according to God’s word is our responsibility.
We live in a culture where people believe in the saying: “It takes a village to raise a child!”
Why do corporations outsource part of their operations? To save money and to leave it to the experts.
Target Stores in 2013 and 2014 lost hundreds of millions of dollars because of a failed software from a third party vendor they chose to outsource their online point of sale purchasing.
We see the risks in outsourcing in business.
Now Fathers, mothers don’t outsource raising your kids!
Don;t leave your kids to the so-called experts of the world, don’t even rely on the experts at the church. God’s word has given you the mandate to train up your children in the way of Godliness! That is key to their true happiness!
“It takes a Village to Raise a Child” - NOT
That saying came from Africa because of the tribal nature of their society, but the devil took it to apply to families in general. Worst, the devil has given this in the hands of politicians to advance their agenda of making government intrude into our families and make decisions for us.
It takes a Father and a mother to raise a child.
Teach our kids the Bible.. There are practical ways we can start Godly parenting.
Practical steps in Godly parenting that can be done now.
Teach them the Bible.
Don’t tell them they can be anything they want.
Discard the participation trophy.
Delay gratification.
Eat Dinner together
Encourage them.
Let them fail.
Spend time with them.
Death bed scene..
Harry Chapin song released in 1974:
Cats in the Cradle
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, dad"
"You know I'm gonna be like you"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today
I got a lot to do, he said, that's okay
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
It said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then, dad
You know we'll have a good time then
I've long since retired and my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, I'd like to see you if you don't mind
He said, I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then, dad
We're gonna have a good time then
God created children so that His image can be multiplied in them. Sad thing is because fathers don’t perform their duties and responsibilities, it is their image that gets passed on to their children. Worst the world leaves an imprint on them...
Leave an imprint of godliness.
