Sermon Tone Analysis

The heading above these verses in my Bible (and in the Red Pew Bible in front of you) is really pretty good— “Concerning Married Life”.

This is what these verses are about; the whole of 1 Corinthians 7, really is about married life, about marriage.

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Marriage, like the Impressive Clergyman says, is what brings us together today; sort of.

We’re not going to have a wedding here this morning; we’re going to read what God’s Word has to say to us about marriage and married life.

After having instructed the Corinthian Christians in regard to their sexual integrity (chapters 5-6), Paul now takes a moment to speak to marriage.

Marriage, we must remember, is God’s idea.

Marriage was part of His creation before the fall of man.

Marriage, as defined by God, was part of His creation before sin entered the world.

It’s a Genesis 2 institution, which means marriage was around before the sin of Genesis 3.

This means something.

Most importantly, though: marriage is God’s idea—this makes marriage good.

Marriage has been given us by God; this makes it a gift.

It’s His idea and it’s Him who has given this to us.

Marriage, then, is a good gift.

Paul is teaching us—the people of God who belong to Him by faith in Jesus Christ—Paul is teaching US what marriage should look like in the Church.

Considering what marriage looks like in the world today, considering what marriage has been and how it’s been perverted over the course of history—considering what we have done to marriage, we have a deep need for instruction on marriage.

And not just any instruction.

Instruction from God.

If you have your Bible (and I hope you do), please turn with me to 1 Corinthians 7. If you are able and willing, please stand with me for the reading of His Holy Word, out of reverence for Christ and allegiance to Him:

May the Lord add His blessing to the reading of His Holy Word!

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Christian marriage should be characterized by:

Oneness, not Division

I could have said “unity”, but I like the idea of oneness more.

There’s something distinct about marriage, something no other institution has: oneness.

Business partners can be unified.

Football teams can find unity.

Only marriage allows for oneness.

The text doesn’t teach the idea of oneness as such, but it assumes it.

Paul’s vision of marriage is dependent upon the teaching of Jesus which, of course, has its foundation in the Genesis account of creation.

Jesus was there before and during Creation, eternally existing with the Father and the Spirit, and so, naturally, the ideal of marriage is from Him.

Marriage is a one-flesh union.

All other aspects of our identity take a backseat to the oneness that we share with our spouse.

Relationships to one’s family, friends, the opposite sex, and even oneself change upon marriage; they have to.

The most important relationship on earth is the relationship you have with your wife or husband—not the relationship you have with your kids, not your parents, not your friends.

This oneness with your spouse is the single most important earthly relationship.

We see this idea of oneness expressed especially in the sexual relationship of husband and wife (verse 4):

In a healthy marriage, there is a beautiful giving-up of one’s freedom to the other.

Ultimately, the oneness of a couple and is intended to be drawn from and point to their mutual relationship with the Lord.

Think about it like a triangle.

As each spouse moves closer to Jesus, they’ll grow closer to one another.

Oneness should characterize our marriages.

Unfortunately, many couples are living separated lives.

It’s possible to be one (legally, there’s a marriage license and a wedding photo album somewhere in the house); it’s possible to be one, technically, but to live two separate lives in practice (separate beds, separate bank accounts, separate activities).

In many marriages, there isn’t a shared vision for life.

There are two people in every marriage, but many never understand what it means to be one.

This division often gets expressed in the realm of sex, specifically withholding their bodies from their spouses.

Paul is speaking to Christians who were withholding their bodies from their spouses because of a twisted sense of spirituality.

They wrote to Paul, regarding all the sexual immorality and the tendency to get in trouble where sex was concerned; they concluded that (verse 1): “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

“It’s better if I don’t touch a woman, even,” the Corinthians reasoned.

Instead of being one with their own wives, some Corinthian men were causing a division there, practicing a kind of celibacy in marriage.

I haven’t encountered the “it’s better for me spiritually to not have sex with my spouse” excuse, but withholding sex to get the upper hand, a withholding of sex due to disinterest and loss of passion, a withholding of sex to manipulate the relationship—those are common.

It’s the opposite of oneness; it’s division.

Paul says, “Don’t.”

The Corinthians wrote him:“It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

Paul says in response:

There was much opportunity for division, perhaps none more serious than sex outside the context of marriage—take, for instance, the man in 1 Corinthians 5 who was having sex with his stepmother or the people in chapter 6 who were visiting temple prostitutes.

Modern marriages are victim to the same type of thing—hopefully not the exact situations found here in 1 Corinthians, but certainly comparable situations: casual sex, multiple partners, adulterous affairs, fornication, pornography, one-night stands, sex parties, and on and on.

(I thought last week was going to be the most awkward sermon in 1 Corinthians; I was wrong.

And we’re just getting started).

Husband and wife are meant to be one.

The world fails at this in myriad ways.

Sadly, the Church isn’t much better than the world.

Marriage is good.

Marriage is a gift.

This good gift, within the Church and among her members, should be marked by oneness, not division.

Christian marriage should be characterized by:

Service, not Selfishness

It’s a beautiful thing when a husband and wife put each other’s needs before their own.

When marriage is marked by selfless service, it distinguishes that marriage from so many others.

The general witness of the Bible teaches us to be more concerned about the other person’s interests before we concern ourselves with our own interests (this is true in marriage and in every relationship we have).

Boy, how much better would everything go if we were more concerned about the other person than we were ourselves?

We could chat for hours and hours about how best to serve our spouses, but here in 1 Corinthians, the context of this service revolves around sex.

In the time of the Corinthians to whom Paul writes, men were in charge.

In society, at home, wherever.

It was a male-dominated culture.

Women rose to the level of property, maybe.

The needs and desires of women were rarely considered, though life was a little better for the Corinthian women than it was in other parts and at different times of the Roman Republic.

What Paul teaches here is radically progressive.

Paul is claiming that women and men have equal rights in the marriage bed.

Paul envisions sex as a means of serving one’s spouse.

There are some people who believe that sex for the Christian is limited to procreation.

They aren’t reading this text if they claim the Bible teaches that sex is only for makin’ babies!

Sex is meant to be enjoyed, it’s meant to be pleasurable for man and wife.

Married couples should have sex regularly, for mutual enjoyment and in order to remain holy.

Within the context of a faithful, monogamous marriage relationship between a husband and wife, sex is to be seen as selfless service.

Look at verse 3 again.

Your Bible might translate marital duty as conjugal rights.

There is, in other words, a debt that is owed between spouses.

Married people: you owe a debt to your spouse.

You are responsible for the fulfillment of the sexual desires within the context of the marriage relationship.

Now, let’s be honest: this might be the only debt that’s fun to pay.

And the one debt we can rejoice never gets paid off!

This is a debt we never want to go away; a debt we want to be sure to pay.

Men, understand this: you owe it to your wife to satisfy her sexual desires.

Sometimes that means sex; sometimes it means cuddling.

Sometimes it means being vulnerable and conversant.

Ladies, same thing: you owe a debt to your husbands.

You owe a debt to your husband to satisfy his sexual desires.

Sometimes that means sex; other times it means sex.