Come Hungry - Table Manners

Welcome back to our series “Come Hungry” If you have your bibles turn to Luke Chapter 7 as we continue this morning pulling up a chair to the table with Jesus!

Week Two

Welcome back to our series “Come Hungry” If you have your bibles turn to Luke Chapter 7 as we continue this morning pulling up a chair to the table with Jesus!

We are looking at the different times that Jesus broke bread with people and we are discovering that not unlike today, there are many significant moments that happen around the table.

You see, there are these defining moments that unfold. And we don’t want to just study them we want to be there, so let’s pull up a chair and be apart of the conversation. Let’s identify with the characters of the bible and try to decide, who are we most like in these stories.

You will find that all throughout scripture there are people you identify with. Some you don’t mind and some you probably wish you didn’t… [For me it is Paul, David, and Peter…]

So, let’s read this story together. [Could you stand so we can read God’s Word and then pray with me after.]

Luke 7:36–48 ESV

One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.” “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

Today’s sermon is called “Table Manners”

In this story there are things going on below the surface that I don’t want us to miss today. Mostly because we are not used to 1st century middle eastern “Social Etiquette”. And for us to really understand this story we need to understand the table manners of the time period.

Every culture has their own set of rules, their own set of social behaviors they live by that are sociably acceptable or not. And if you have ever been to a different country you know what I am talking about. The way we act can communicate respect and honor or it can communicate disrespect and disgrace.

We are going to look at the 1st century etiquette some more but first I want to se how well we do as a group in a pop quiz about social etiquette! Lol! Have you ever heard of Emily Post?... Emily Post was an American author famous for writing about etiquette.

[POP QUIZ!]

1. When should one start eating the main course at a formal dinner?

a. After the hostess is seated?

b. After the hostess lifts her fork?

c. After three or four people are served?

d. As soon as humanly possible

What is the correct answer?... How many thin B? A? Well the correct answer is C..

Remember this is according to Emily Post… Really the answer, if you think about it is what ever the majority of the people think it is. So if you said B… then you technically are right… I think! I don’t know. Lol

2. What do you do when the person across form you has food stuck between their teeth?

a. You intentionally stare at them hoping they figure it out?

b. Pick between your teeth hoping the read between the lines?

c. Ask them if they are saving it for later?

d. Casually let them know… “uh hum…. Dude you got something...”

This is a trick question because the right response is you don’t do anything. And that is exactly what I would do… “nothing”. Why? It’s funnier that way and that’s what a true friend would do! Lol

Okay last one and its not about the dinner table…

3. What is the correct response if one’s cell phone goes off in church?

a. You give them the death stare and shake your head in disgust?

b. You make your ringtone a worship song before church just in case?

c. You take the preacher out for dinner after the service?

IT’s C! Its C. I promise!!! Lol

So, we have these manners that we are expected to live by and to conform to as a way to show honor and respect to those around us.

The same is true in Luke Chapter 7. In the 1st century culture there were certain social etiquette behaviors that people were expected to keep. Let’s look at this…

I. First Century Middle East Social Etiquette Behaviors

In we see a complete breach of protocol on behalf of a pharisee named Simon. These are no accidental oversights either. In’s not that his momma didn’t raise him right… He knows the rules. He has the social etiquette down pat. He knows what’s expected of him, but he purposely ignores Jesus!

Okay so let’s look at what’s going on here…

a. Jesus comes to Simon’s house on an invitation, and when he gets there, there is no “customary greeting with a kiss”

In this time if it would have been someone of high honor it would have meant a kiss on the hand. But Jesus received no kiss.

It would be as if I invited you to my house and when you came over, I didn’t shake your hand, I didn’t give you a hug, there is no hello, not pat on the back and you didn’t even get as much as a head nod from me. I just ignored you. That’s exactly what happened here.

b. Another thing that would have been customary in that day… actually mandatory would have been, “A Foot Washing Before A Meal.”

People would be reclining at the table. That means that they weren’t sitting in chairs with their feet tucking under it. They would have been leaning against a pillow with their feet sticking out probably close to someone’s head.

It would have been for hygiene purposes to wash your feet from walking along the dusty dirty roads then.

In this time if it would have been someone of high honor the host might have actually washed the feet of their guest or at least a servant would have.

Simon should have at the very absolute least given Jesus a water basin and towel to do it himself… But no, that doesn’t even happen. Jesus is ignored.

c. And lastly here, in the 1st century culture it would have been customary to take some olive oil and “Anoint The Head of Your Guest” welcoming him into your home… But this didn’t happen.

Jesus comes in there is no kiss for his cheek, no water for his feet, and no oil for his head. And this is not an accident, Simon is purposely, intentionally ignoring Jesus……. He is making a statement!

Now here is the question for us: Why? Why did Simon even bother to have him over for a meal if this is the way he is going to treat Jesus?

Well, most likely he seen Jesus teaching in the day and it would have been customary for Simon, the local pharisee, the local high-ranking religious leader to invite a rabbi(teacher) over for a meal in his home.

So, what we are seeing here is that Simon is only doing what is expected of him religiously, but his heart is not in it… He is only fulfilling his religious duty.

II. Fulfilling Religious Duty

Number two… let’s talk about fulfilling religious duty a bit more.

The invitation was just part of his job. That is what’s happening here. He is not interested in Jesus, but there is this cultural expectation of him and so that’s why he is doing it… His heart is not in it.

And I think, perhaps if we are sitting at the table with Jesus… one of the questions we would ask ourselves is: “Am I here out of religiosity or out of genuine desire?”

Is pressure from a family member or maybe a spouse? Is your girlfriend giving you the ultimatum…? [That’s what happened to me! Lol]

If that is why you hear, I am sorry for you. If your only hear to please someone else… I’m glad you’re hear regardless, but my heart breaks for you.

Jesus has no interest in empty religiosity. And as a church, and as your pastor I have no interest in making you more religious. Because it is not the religious duties that Jesus is after here… it’s your heart he wants!

Picture yourself in Simons shoes. Have you been there? Were you’re just going through the motions, just doing what is required? Your heart is dull, your vision is week and you don’t feel anything anymore?... It’s because you’re just going through the motions like Simon!

When that happens one of the warning signs is how you start to feel about other people… like we see here with Simon. He almost seems to despise her.

And we can so easily find ourselves in his shoes with Jesus too… sure we are associated with Jesus, we are at church, and we break bread and have communion. But is it because we feel like we have to?... Is your heart in it today church?

Don’t miss the irony of this moment, because Simon is someone who studied scripture his whole life. By the time he was twelve he probably had the first twelve books of the Bible memorized.

By the time he was fifteen he probably had the entire Old Testament memorized. He would’ve had more than 300 prophesies of the Messiah readily available, and he doesn’t know that the Messiah is sitting at his table.

Think about the irony of this… Simon’s whole life has been dedicated to studying and looking for the Messiah, and the Messiah is sitting at his table with feet that haven’t been washed, and a cheek that hasn’t been kissed and a head that hasn’t been anointed.

And I think if we were sitting there, maybe, just maybe, one of the things that we would ask ourselves is, “Do I know about Jesus or do I really know Him?”

Because Simon knew all there was to know about the Messiah, and He’s sitting right there in front of him! And he doesn’t even know it’s Him.

And for many of us, we’ve confused knowledge with intimacy. We think because we’ve gone to all the Sunday School classes and we’ve attended all the Bible Studies and we’ve read certain books, that that means by definition we have a relationship with Jesus.

But not necessarily. There is a difference between knowledge and intimacy. And Simon shows us this.

Let’s think about the other side of this irony, because on the scene comes this woman… and she didn’t have the Old Testament memorized.

She would have had a hard time, likely, giving you more than two or three Messianic prophesies….but she knows who Jesus is.

When she came in it was probably a really awkward. It was one of those moments where you could just feel the tension in the air, because she was not invited, and she showed up to the party anyway.

Verse 37 tells us that they can tell she is a sinner from sight… likely meaning she was a prostitute or had some kind of sin that was visible in her life.

And it’s hard to imagine how desperate she must’ve been to see Jesus that she would put herself in this position.

Look, she probably didn’t even want to go to Simon’s house. She probably had spent her whole life avoiding Simon’s house. But there was something about Jesus where she knew she would be welcome.

And it makes you wonder; what Jesus might have been teaching earlier that day. My thought are that she was probably just another person in the crowd.

Maybe He talked on forgiveness and He told a parable like the Prodigal Son, where the son comes home after spending all the father’s money on wild living and the father runs to him and throws his arms around him and says, “Let’s celebrate and have a party.”

And maybe as Jesus taught, He made eye contact with her…and she knew He loved her, and that He would forgive her.

Maybe Jesus was teaching on redemption that day. This is the theme of Scripture: that God makes things new and He makes things right, and He takes broken pieces and He turns them into something beautiful.

And at some point, as Jesus was teaching, she knew… “It’s not too late for me.”

Or maybe it was nothing that Jesus taught on. Maybe it was just the way that He looked at her, because my guess is that a woman like this…she just knew a couple of different looks.

She probably knew a stare of lust quite well, and she probably knew a glare of condemnation quite well.

But when Jesus looks at her, it’s different. She feels value and she feels worth. She’s not just a sinner, but she sees a man who looks at her like a father looks at a daughter and she can’t help but go to him.

So, she comes. And I’m guessing that if you’re sitting at the table and you’re watching this unfold and seeing her response, one of the things you would say to yourself is, Number 3……

III. Maybe it’s not too late for me

I don’t think you could spend much time at a table with Jesus around a meal without saying this. It just seems to be a very common response to sitting down and eating with Jesus.

-Zacchaeus, the tax collector was despised, he was a cheat and a scoundrel. And Jesus says, “I’m going to have lunch at your house today.” Zacchaeus says, “Okay.”

So, they go to Zacchaeus’s house for lunch. And Zacchaeus walks out a changed man. Now he is an ambassador for Christ. It’s not too late for me.

-You think of the woman at the well. She shares a drink of water with Jesus. She comes to the well not wanting anyone to see her or know who she is.

And after her time with Jesus, she leaves and wants to tell everyone who she’s met… that…. It’s not too late for them…

-Think about Peter after he denied Jesus three times, and Jesus raises from the dead and they have fish on the shore—there having a meal—and over that meal Jesus makes it clear to Peter, “Peter, it is not too late for you. I can still use you. I still want to use you.”

And if you spend much time with Jesus, I think you walk away with the knowledge that, … it’s not too late for me.

And I know that for some of you, you may not feel welcome at the table, and for some of you this feels a lot like Simon’s house. I get that.

But let me be really clear about something: We are all sinners around this table. There is no one in this room who is more deserving of an invitation than another. No one.

Bring this to life for them… tell the story…

Think about it. This woman comes in uninvited, everyone is staring at her, and she sees Jesus, and he is probably smiling at her presence in the room. And immediately she feels accepted and the tears begin to fall.

She falls to the ground and she begins to kiss His feet. The tears are just pouring down her face and they begin to drop onto His dirty feet. She suddenly realizes His feet haven’t been washed.

She can’t ask for a towel so she lets down her hair. And in those days women always wore their hair up in public. Because for a woman to wear their hair down in front of a man that was not her husband was considered to be such an intimate expression it was literally grounds for divorce.

And so, she lets her hair down anyway, and you can hear this audible gasp from around the table. And she washes the feet of Jesus with her tears and dries them with her hair.

Luke says she had an alabaster jar of ointment. Most likely this refers to a perfume often worn around the neck of a woman.

As you might guess because of her profession this perfume was quite important. She likely used it one drop at a time, many times for many men… but now…. she just empties it on Jesus! She pours the whole thing out to the very last drop. Why? Because she doesn’t need it anymore. She pours this flask, her life, out on the feet of Jesus and just kisses them over and over.

Was it reckless? Yeah, it was reckless. Impulsive? I think so—at least parts of it. Was it inappropriate? You bet, it was inappropriate. Did Jesus love it? Yeah. He did. He loved it.

He loved it because this is what He is looking for in a relationship: something that is genuine, something that is authentic.

And I guess my question to you would be, when is the last time you’ve had a moment like this?

When is the last time you extravagantly expressed your love for Jesus? Where you were so undone by His grace and His love for you that you just kind of forgot about yourself?

You forgot about some of the rules of etiquette and what other people thought, and you just thought, this… this right here… “This is really all that matters to me.”

I think sometimes we get so caught up in the formality of it. We get so caught up in people who are watching and the religious ritual side of things that we forget a very important truth, and we see it clearly here in :

That…

IV. Jesus Cares More About Authenticity Than Formality.

Jesus cares much more about your heart and much more about your relationship with Him than He cares about the formality and the religious rituals.

And we feel like we have to come to the table all dressed up, in suits and ties and acting our best, having perfect manners, and we don’t want to say anything wrong, and we think, “What if we mess it up?”

And Jesus just says, “Look, you’re invited, but come as you are.” Because what He wants is authenticity.

Simon the Pharisee…he watches all this happen and look at verse 39 again. It says, “Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.”

Luke 7:39 ESV

Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.”

I love verse 40. It says, “Jesus answered him.” … You see, this can be a problem when with eating with Jesus... You think things to yourself and He just goes ahead and answers your thoughts. And Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”

-And He tells this parable of the two debtors. They’re both forgiven by the money lender. But which one of them loves the most? Simon says, “The one who is forgiven the most.”

Look here at… “Then turning toward the woman and He said to Simon…

I want to stop right there… this is where all these table manners kind of come together for us:

Jesus says, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. 46 You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. 47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

Luke 7:44–47 ESV

Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

Closing: Invite Praise Team back up

This woman understanding her sin and her brokenness, it drove her to such extravagant acts of love.

So, the question for us this morning is: Who are you most like around the table?

Because, I think, for a lot of us we’re trying to be like Simon the Pharisee…

Where everyone thinks we’ve got our act together and everyone thinks we know what we’re doing, and we really don’t have any problems and we’re really not that big of sinners, and we think that Jesus is nice, but he isn’t completely necessary.

-We don’t really want to be like this woman, do we?

Where we acknowledge the fact that we are sinners and we’ve made a mess of things.

But it’s not until we reach that point… that we begin to recognize what an incredible Savior we have. Will you pray with me?

God, You are a God of grace and love, and we have all received an invitation though none of us have deserved it.

Sometimes we act like we do and we like to pretend that we’ve got this thing figured out, but none of us have.

And we are sinners, God. No one more deserving than another. But, God, in Your grace You have loved us. And now, God, it is Your heart’s desire that we love You in return.

May we receive You, know You, and to be known by You.

God, would You help us now, and each day to just pull a chair up to the table next to You and share life with You?

It’s in Jesus’ name we pray….Amen!

If you want to talk to someone about your relationship with Jesus—what that looks like, what that means—or maybe you’re ready to become a part of our church family. We’d love to have you here. We really would. You can meet me down front.