FAMILY DYNAMICS

Many years ago a song hit the rock charts with such a strong emotional message that many different artists recorded it. Part of the lyrics go like this:

The road is long With many a winding turn That leads us to who knows where Who knows where But I'm strong Strong enough to carry him He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go His welfare is of my concern No burden is he to bear We'll get there

For I know He would not encumber me He ain't heavy, he's my brother

Though the song became famous in the late 1960’s and into the 1970’s, the origins of the go back nearly a century before.

In 1884, James Wells, Moderator of the United Free Church of Scotland, in his book The Parables of Jesus tells the story of a little girl carrying a big baby boy. Seeing her struggling, someone asked if she wasn't tired. With surprise she replied: "No, he's not heavy; he's my brother."

As believers in Jesus Christ we belong to the same family. As a matter of fact there is or at least should a very strong family resemblance from the members of this family. One of the chief characteristics of this resemblance is sacrificial love for one another.

John 13:35 NASB95PARA

By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

I begin with this story this morning because I believe that one of the keys to understanding our text for today, , is to see that it is about family dynamics. Throughout this discourse, which we began looking at last week, there has been language that is reminiscent of family; specifically the family of God. Look back for a moment to . Jesus defined these little ones as being those who believed in Him. You and I, if we have placed our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ for our salvation, are included in these little ones who make up the family of God.

Last week, I mentioned that the structure of this discourse indicates that there were two specific sections to it. We see this in that each of these sections ends with a parable which is followed up by a statement of conclusion by Jesus. In last weeks passage the parable was of a lost sheep. And the concluding statement was this: “So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish.” I don’t want to spill the beans yet about what this sections parable is, but just want to point out that once again Jesus ended this section of His discourse with a parable, and then a conclusive statement in regards to the parable.

As we go through our passage this morning we will see that confrontation of sin is necessary within the church family, and that forgiveness is imperative within the family as well.

Let’s read the first portion of our passage together: .

CONFRONTATION OF SIN IS NECESSARY WITHIN THE CHURCH FAMILY

The Process

Step No. 1 — A Private Confrontation

Step No. 2 — A Semi-Private Confrontation

Step No. 3 — A Public Confrontation

Step No. 4 — A United Stance

The Theological Basis

The Agreement

Let’s read together as we consider how:

FORGIVENESS IS IMPERATIVE WITHIN THE CHURCH FAMILY

The Magnanimous Offer

The Parable

The Heavenly Comparison

The Settling of Accounts

As we look at this parable and see the huge amount that the first slave owed his master there are a few things that come to mind.

Embezzlement

As we look at this parable and see the huge amount that the first slave owed his master there are a few things that come to mind.

First, this slave was probably a high ranking official in this hypothetical kingdom. Under a sovereign monarchy everyone is a slave to the king, at least in a sense. Some believe that this hypothetical slave was probably a high ranking tax collector who had absconded with the taxes owed to the king. In other words, this man was guilty of embezzlement.

Level of Indebtedness

“From historical documents of the time it has been determined that the total annual revenue collected by the Roman government for Idumea, Judea, Samaria and Galilee was about 900 talents. Based on those figures, ten thousand talents amounted to more than eleven years of taxes from those four provinces.” (MacArthur, pg. 148).

To put it in other terms, “a laborer would have to work sixty million days, or roughly 193,000 years, to earn this much money.” (Turner, pg. 450).

The point is the impossibility of paying off such a debt.

That debt symbolizes our debt of sin. The fact is that we cannot possibly pay off the debt of our sin. Even if we died for the sake of our own sin, our personal death would only bring us to eternal damnation. The only way for our sins to be paid for is for them to be paid for by someone else who is able to cover our debt. And the only One who can cover our debt is the God-who-became-man — Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. And the amazing thing is that He can not only cover our debt, but He can cover the debt of all who will place their faith in His person, and on His work on our behalf.

Compassion

Notice in the parable, vs. 27, that the King felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.

Christ’s compassion bleeds through every page of the various gospel accounts. And He expects that His followers will have a similar compassion for one another. Remember, that is the point of the parable. Though this parable certainly refers to the eternal forgiveness that can only be found in Christ, the point is that believers need to willingly forgive the offenses of other believers. Believers need to be compassionate toward one another.

Ephesians 4:32 NASB95PARA

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Another thing that we can see in this text is that the king decided that rather than holding this embezzler criminally liable for his offense, he chose to consider it in the realm of debt. And then he forgave the entire debt owed.

Let’s talk about forgiveness for a moment.

Forgiveness

There are two types of forgiveness by God which believers experience, and we would do well to keep that in mind.

Eternal forgiveness — resulting in eternal life

Temporal forgiveness — due to the continued presence of sin in a believer’s life he needs to seek daily forgiveness and cleansing. This does not preserve our salvation, but it restores the broken fellowship or relationship with the Lord that sin causes

Unforgiveness

Of course, in the parable, the one who had been forgiven much was unwilling to forgive a little.

The second slave in this story owed the first slave the equivalent of about 100 day’s wages. This was not a small debt. If it were based on my salary it would be about $12,500. Not small, but manageable. However, in comparison to what the first slave had been forgiven, it was miniscule. It was petty.

In this parable other slaves who heard about the unwillingness of the one to forgive, brought this to the king’s attention. These other slaves represent the church. Their bringing this travesty to the kings attention seems to be an application of the disciplinary process marked out in verses 15-20 of our text.

The king was enraged that one who had been shown so much compassion and mercy would not do likewise for his fellow slave. And so he handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. We must be careful with this statement.

Some would use this statement to teach that a person can lose their salvation. But that just is not in keeping with the teaching of the whole of the Bible.

I believe that what is being taught here is that this first slave, the one who was forgiven so much, would be tortured until he came to the point that he would be willing to forgive the second slave. We will pick this thought up again in a moment.

Let’s look at verse 35 as we see Jesus sum up the application of this parable.

The Point of the Parable

Last week, as we were looking at the first part of this discourse, I kept emphasizing that there is no place for pride in the kingdom of heaven. I think that is fitting for this second part of the discourse as well. Most often it is some form of pride that keeps us from being willing to forgive a brother or sister in Christ who has offended us.

Quite frankly, as I look at this whole section together I wonder if the sin mentioned by Jesus in verse 15 wasn’t a reference to an unforgiving heart!

The point of this parable is that because we, as believers in Jesus Christ, have been forgiven an insurmountable amount of sin, we should also forgive others. There should be no limit to how many times we forgive our brother for sinning against us.

Now, we need to realize that forgiving does not necessarily mean forgetting. When God forgave our sins He also forgot them, or so we have been told. But we are not God. We don’t have the ability to wipe a wrong done to us from our memory banks. As I advance in years there are many things that I do forget — especially the contents of conversations. But the funny thing is out of the many things that I do forget, it usually is not a wrong that has been done to me.

Also keep in mind that forgiveness does not excuse a sinful offense. When it comes to church discipline we cannot refuse to hold a believer accountable for their sin.

But forgiveness does involved ending the bitterness, anger, and resentment that not only do not remove a sin but rather add to it.

Believers who refuse to forgive one another are given over to such torturers as stress, hardship, pressure, or other difficulties until the sin is confessed and forgiveness is granted.

James 2:13 NASB95PARA

For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.

In order for there to be proper dynamics among the Family of God, there is a need to hold one another accountable. We need to lovingly correct those who have fallen into sin, even the sin of an unforgiving heart. And forgiveness is imperative. Any of these sins can become a stumbling block for other believers in Jesus. And so we need to be diligent to rid ourselves of such stumbling blocks. We need to help our brothers and sisters in Christ with carrying the burdens of life. We need to have an attitude such as that little girl in Scotland who declared: “he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother!”

Let’s pray.

Closing Song: No. 419 — The Family of God