Relationships

One of the greatest issues we encounter during our lifetimes is found in our relationships. We all have them, some are good, some not so good, some we would rather forget we ever had. Of course we know we need to maintain our relationship with God through Jesus.

Some relationships come easy, but some of the best relationships, the relationships that we need in our life, require a lot of work.

Proverbs 13:16–21 ESV

Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly. A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a faithful envoy brings healing. Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored. A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools. Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Disaster pursues sinners, but the righteous are rewarded with good.

Years ago a couple of women were driving down the highway when they realized they were low on gas. So they pulled over to a gas station and the driver filled her car up with gas. But then she discovered that she did not have enough money to pay the bill. So she asked her friend to stay behind as a human deposit while she went to withdraw some extra cash from the bank.

A local police spokesman stated in a news article, “Unfortunately, the woman did not return.”

Two hours after the 20-year-old driver left, the gas station called the police who then questioned the stranded "deposit" before releasing her. At last report, the Police were investigating the driver on charges of fraud.

Now a question: how many of you would like to have a friend like that, that would leave you at the gas station? Me neither.

You could say that this so-called friend harmed the person she left behind. This woman she left behind suffered the loss of time, the embarrassment of having to talk to the police, and the humiliation of knowing that her friend had abandoned her.

I am sure that we can all identify with relationships that have left us high and dry.

Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, “We are afraid to care too much, for fear that other person does not care at all.”

We spend so much time in church talking about our relationship with God, and very little time talking about our relationships with people.

The first key to healthy relationships is to accept that not everyone is Spirit-filled, wise, responsible, teachable, or a good investment of time and energy. We must determine which category we are in and invite wise people who love us enough to tell us the truth to help us see ourselves more clearly.

Every one of us has at least some areas of our lives that are foolish, if not even evil. We are all works in progress.

The Bible uses a term that may be offensive to some; foolish. I truly believe God is merely making a distinction between where people are at in their journey. We know because of our position in Christ all of that is subject to change in but a moment.

Wise + foolish = parental relationship

Irresponsible people seek out overly responsible people and dump their responsibilities on them. You know you have picked up a relationship like this when you are doing for someone things they should be doing for themselves.

The encyclopedia of children’s health defines a parental relationship as consisting of a combination of behaviors, feelings, and expectations that are unique to a parent and a particular child. The relationship involves the full extent of a child’s development.

We meet people that seek out parental relationships all the time because they never fully developed as a child and still need a nurturing hand to guide them.

1 Peter 5:6–7 ESV

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter

Wise + evil = distant relationship

When an evil person seeks to build a close relationship with a wise person, the wise person maintains the distance. Aided by the discernment of the Holy Spirit, Jesus kept His distance from evil people, and we should do the same.

At first, you may think that it sounds counter-intuitive

Ephesians 5:6–14 ESV

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

Ephesians 5:6-

Foolish + foolish = codependent relationship

When two foolish people come together in a close relationship, they multiply their folly. Jesus was friends with foolish people and even attended their parties but only to help make them wise.He never acted foolishly or sinfully.

Romans 12:18 ESV

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Romans

Foolish + evil = abusive relationship

Foolish people are often gullible and vulnerable. Because they do not deal with reality or have much of a plan for their lives, they are easy prey for evil people. Sadly, foolish people allow this kind of abusive relationship to continue for far too long and pay a steep price.

Evil + evil = dangerous relationship

When two evil people come together, they are like two barrels on a gun. If you get in front of them, you are likely to get shot. United by their common goal, when two evil people come together, they make it their life’s mission to do the same thing as the devil-steal, kill, and destroy.

Galatians 5:26 ESV

Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Galatians 5

Galatians 5:15 The Message

If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?

Galatians 5

Galatians 5:26 ESV

Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Galatians 6

Wise + wise = healthy relationship

When two wise people walk humbly together, they make the good times twice as good and the bad times half as bad, as the old saying goes.

Proverbs 13:20 ESV

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Conclusion

How about you? Which of the six relationships do you most commonly find yourself in?

I believe this next verse is an invitation for us to discover the healthy relationships God wants us to have.

Psalm 133:1 ESV

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!