Honour: The Hinge that Opens your Relationships to Blessing: Exodus 20:1-12; Luke 2:46-52; Eph 5:21, 6:1-9
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A) Intro: The Frame of the 2nd Table in the Catechism’s Goal
Why do we do good works, not merit, but root of our salvation, but the fruit, the result. In fact when God saves you, also commitment to remake you after in the image of Christ. Vertically - the foundational command - all about honour the weightiness we give God - need to be remade after the imge of Chirst - give God proper place in our life, how we worship, in whose name and by whose revelation, and even when - divine calendar of our lives - see these commands are a gift to a good relationship with God!
Well now so called second table - need you to understand if the Holy Spirit is restoring you to live in the image of God - also effect syour relationships horizontally to all the other oepoe in your life. And again the ordre is so important - try working out ethical framework how to live with each other - won’t do it - until have hnour of God in your life, see who He is, recognize why he made us, - and only when that is in place, really able to love fullly your neighbour. And again the foundational command is not laws about m,a,s,lying, coveting. But hugely expansive command that is to govern all our relatinships is honour - just like with God, unless the place, the value, the weightinsss of others is firmly set in our innerward heart and outward tlook to others all the tinkiering of details with behaviours which flow out of that heart -won’t ge tyou to the goal.
B) Intro: Your Motivation for Getting Honour Right in your Life
Saddest, yet most rewarding jobs I ever had…
Saddest, yet most rewarding jobs I ever had…
Robert - one foster home to another, last one seemed to some just doing it for the money. Whether true or not, Robert 14, no real diagonoseis, though assessed to be socially at a 6 yera olds level. Wihtout minimizing other diffuclties he had, a big part of it was he grew up seeing so little love and commitment, so little service and putting yourself below a mission a person to do heavy lifting for greater goal than get my way. I don’t think he really experienced many saying your worth, standing up for, I will go out of my way for you. And because of that Robert could hardly do reltionships.
That is a small picture of what happened to our whole culture in the 1960’s. Against authority, against institutions, - supreme thing is my rights, my happiness, self-interest and throw off anything that hinders my self-actualization. We in many ways are seeing the results all around us: isolated , bored, individualistic people -more single person households than ever, with lots of stuff for themselves, but little connection with one another. Quick to send angry tweets, quick to take offense, polarized. Nicholas Carr - unable to empathize, enter another’s story and care
That is a small picture of what happened to our whole cutlure in the 1960’s. Against authority, against insittiutions, - supreme thing is my rights, my happiness, self-interest and throw off anything that hinder smy selfacutalization. We in many ways are seeing the results all around us: isolated , bored, individualistic people -more single person households than ever, with lots of stuff for themselves, but little connection with one another. Quick to send angry tweets, quick to take offense, polarized. Nicholas Carr - unable to empathize, enter another’s story and care
Fast forward a couple decades to today redefinition of the family in the most radical individualistic way … make own identity - submission thrown out window - equality has come to mean - sameness … throws out idea that made in complementary ways - that in the roles and service we render - unique unity and diversity … Ie Herman Bavinck: both together for God’s image, together in mutual fellowship - male and female create unto and for each other… feedback loop benefiting the individual … male female, child… so much of individual rights, trying to provide what natural love and natural bonds provide - now all lost with mere self-interest…
This command calls us to some how regain ability to do relationships right. with those in authority over us, those who are brothers and sisters to us, and to those who in one sense under us as children , employees, those whom we have care protection or leadership to provide. But the ability to honour each other in a proper way has become so corrupted, that only in Christ, forgiven, only in Christ fulfilled, only in Christ can we truly live out our relationships with each other. Let’s start with the first word of this command: Honour. Do you know what it means to honour those around you?
1. Honour All People with the respect and dignity they are owed!
The problem with our sin is that we cheapen the dignity of others. God commands a certain value and honour to all made in his image, even the worst ones in your life. Why - though his image is shattered in all of us, being restored in those remade in Christ, all bear the vestiges of God’s very image. Even the worst, with human nature in shambles, still have a human nature from God. They have some family, friends, treat well. None of us are as bad as we could be.
And so James says:
With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
While in extreme situations may be justified to stand against an enemy, tyrant, in self-defense or defence of other innocent parties, ; on a personal level always called to love our enemies. Why Paul in
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
Jesus commands us to love and bless our enemies. We are to see that in all our relationships that person has a God-given role to play that we are to seek to have them be able to do, encourage, even provide so they can’ and we have a duty of love to them. God has a good plan for all our relationships.
Now to honour means deep in the roots of your being, in your heart - you feel that worth, that dignity, that duty with the other person. It means to cherish in love, Christian charity, the specialness of others as image-bearers of God.
What I am saying is that all of us are not little individuals with rights that everyone should serve me, and no one has a claim on me. As if I come into this world not bound to anyone! No, all created by God - we are all people who have to learn submission, to put ourselves under God - who are covenantally connected to each other to serve God!
And that is why our text in
addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,
submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
The reason we don’t see the fruit of families, churches, cities, societies, nations that truly love each other and do their duty for each other, is because this honour , this cherishing in love of the specialness of others -
Marx saw it - we treat others as financial objects. Freud saw it we treat others as objects of lustPeople are not people they are convenient objects that serve us. And until in the root of our souls - see in Christ all under God, need his forgiveness, need his restoration, and in his restoration we put ourselves at the service of all, won’t see the fruit! The fabric of Christian relationships restored - as learn to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ…
NO domineering, no idea of serving as worthless no value … Christ restores - and the key that we are restored to live by in honour!
2. Claim the Promise to Ratify the Honour-Principle in Your Life
And to drive home the pont, this command not only begins with Hnour, but it ends with that promise attached to it: What does it mean?
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
One promise and curse in the first table - for household for generation - those who worship by command of God - love him , not hate him - show steadfast love for generations, those who hate him - whole household effected.
Well, so too the second table has one promise that effects generations. This is not a 1:1 promise that if you obey your parents - live to be 90, problem to see it always as result of dishonouring that youth’s life is cut short. Promise of old age in the OT - especially for slaves freed from Egypt about to enter the promised land, is a promise of the flourishing - the good relationships , the good society that will flow from this ...
Step back - don’t you long for this? If we learn honour, that your families whether you have children or not - , your neighbors , your society - be like a promised land. God is saying that the tranquility, the peace the wholesomeness of our life together, depends on this honouring. This honouring is what preserves civil families and civil societies.
3. We all owe Inward Honour to Superiors which issues in Outward Submission
This is commanded by God in most genereal terms for all our relationships. Syndoche - mention of one stands for others, so kings and prophets called fathers, There are mothers of Israel. But given under the name of the first and nearest relationship all of us are born into: Parent/child. Need to understand we all are in relationships where we are like parents - must lead, provide, govern - even a child domain of his room, care of a pet, influence with younger sibling or friends. We are all in relationships where we are in one sense inferiors, who owe obedience and following. And we are all, thirdly, also in relationships were we must honour each other as equals.
Now this is hard to swallow because we drink from well of our culture which says equal means the same. Lie. Truth is we are equal in dignity but in every relationship different roles , different duties, responsibilities. This is first learned in the home the family, the basic unit, and this is the transition commandment the hinge; because if honour, respect, obedience, true service true leadership care and protection - not learned in the home, won’t see it in the church, or society.
We are to recgonize that God has invested some people with the special jobs of leading - they are in covenant relation to God to provide protect, teach train - and their is a certain dignity and yes even authroity that God invest them with. And only in so far as they use that power to better and serve those “under” them. This is the case with Mom and Dad. Stated in both orders - different roles but equal authority together - ie.
It is true of civil officials like our Mayor, Councilors, Premier MPP, MP like Alex Nutall but also un-Christian leaders like - Romans 13
And it is true of your principal’s at school and teachers, your boss
And that honour of leading, providieng protectng that God has invested them with - their office their job, not their personality is where their authority resides and we are to honour them for that. We are to acknowledge in their role they have dignity - reflecting shining forth the image of God in what ever leadership they are to give.
Why the apostle Peter says: ,
Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme,
Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.
And that respect is called piety unto God and society can’t work, the family can’t work, our relationship to God can’t work .
In our pride, we often think: I will respect you if I like you, the ones I like I’ll obey , the ones I think are worthy enough . Problem of our culture won’t to raise everyone to be a leader. Actually can’t lead if you have never learned to follow. Can’t live just formally tipping hat, but not from the heart learning to obey respect and value the calling God’s given.
Of course, every leader even the most powerful president, PM, or king let alone mom and dad, teacher or elder, called to live in submission to God, - limit even in when ungodly monarch calls us to do obey man rather than God.
But for now not the exepctions, the rule \\See this in Jesus life, subject even to imperfect parents. Christ in
And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.
You know this to about Jesus, one his last acts even though in his own pain of the Cross, turn to his mother, say my relationship as oldest son is changing with you. Here is John, John here is your mother.
Practically what this means in our culture.
Think of how you obey your boss, or coach or teacher or parent in something you’d rather not do but know you should. Why will you do it now? Listen to ,
Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,
knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.
Teenagers, you can assume it is normal to think parents so out of touch, don’t have to listen. While it’s true gaining indepence, it is also a lie of the devil that you can live without your parents, resenting them. And it will poison the type of adult you become and what you live for. Covenant people made for covenant relationships, Connected, Practically this means - can’t go through teenage years - grunting -ought to involve them in decision of your life, God’s plan was to give you life from and through them - His plan is to have you come to know the way of the Lord first of all through them.
Adults not something that ends when leave the house. Honour the memory of deceased. And for those of us with parents in old age, abomination for children not to care for the parents who gave you life. Story after story of wonder and dignity even in the face of great suffering or complicated past relationships, to walk with a parents at the end of their lives - God’s design. Pray for grace and courage in days of euthanasia to do this. Barely half of NA feel responsibility to care for aging parents.
But listen to wisdom;’s commenatry on this law:
and put a knife to your throat if you are given to appetite.
Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
We see this in
But parents, and everyone of you in your exercise of leadership and authority in other areas, listen. This law is for your flourishing too, God regulates and directs and expects much from how you honour those you lead.
3. Leaders owe those ‘under’ them Honour.
In the fall, the good order that God established gets bent and twisted and corrupted. So God created man and woman - equal in dignity, helpmates who complement with different roles for one beautiful work unified; As Matthew Henry from the rib of Adam, not head to domineer, nor the foot to be stepped on. But the fall/sin happens, blame and domineering now enter that good order.
Our challenge is not only to get back to God’s good order, but to fix the inward corruption of our hearts. No more despising those who lead us and give a true submission!
Our challenge is not only to get back to God’s good order, but to fix the inward corruptoin of our hearts to despise leading and to give follwoig and obedience, a submission with out honour and love.
And so we need Christ to lead us well in our relatinships: Think of
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.
Think of Jesus saying don’t Lord it over - I am your Lord and Master - pattern of superior with loving leadership - stoop down to level of those we serve and lead and operate on the same level. - Elevate them in dignity.
You change diapers or teach 5 years, or lead youth, do you honour those God’s called you to serve.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Do you see that in Christ, authority, power, strength only ever used for the good of those he was sent to serve those under his care. And study Christ do you see the dignity he gave even the most hardened Pharisee stuck in his sin, the adulteress, the money hungry…
Listen you husbands and mothers with your children, a
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Listen you bosses - Listen you
Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.
Do you get this authority is a precious gift for covenatn relationship to make peole called to lead florousih. And the Bibl ehas lots to say about both the abuse of autority and the rejection of authority.
Do you get this authority is a precious gift for covenant relationship to make people called to lead flourish. And the Bible has lots to say not only about those who reject of authority, will not submit; but also against hose who abuse the authority they have been entrusted to steward! Jesus says to Pilate.
Jesus answered him, “You would have no authority over me at all unless it had been given you from above. Therefore he who delivered me over to you has the greater sin.”
Jesus says to Pilate. Saying can’t exercsie Authoroity like Mao Tse Tung “Authrity comes from the barrel of my gun” … Way in which parenting exspecially oyoung age - because I said so. Only reason spanked was disrespect.
Saying authority is is a trust bestowed by God. You can’t exercise Authority like Mao Tse Tung “Authority comes from the barrel of my gun” … Way in which parenting especially young age - because I said so. Only reason spanked was disrespect.
But another way that is unbiblical Satanic use of power. None of us has absolute power. Reformation politics, incredible gift to Western world, constitutional democracy, of limited monarchy, check and balances, that even a king, has power only from the will and good of the people. Correct understanding of is not that king can do whatever he wants, have to obey our government n o matter what. But that the king has legitimate authority and is to exercise it God’s way!
Calling of parents and bosses - not to be tyrants power control freaks - but a home/business where there is friendly and loving strong leadership. And if the family as the source of society, then true leadership and obedience are not learned there - if kids wont’ respect and obey there - society doesn’t stand a chance.
Do you sense this that the way we do family, has far-reaching consequences for the type of church and world we live in!
Listen parents
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ruling is not just calling the shots. Leading at work or at school is a calling to care. We don’t place unreasonable demands, we don’t correct in anger rather than love - we don’t stifle their growth by violating their freedom!
Kids learn more by what modelling and example caught, then what is formally taught. How discipleship works. Kids and adults who live without respect and without strong leadership - how do they live like rest of our lost culture - Do what I want - trouble home, society, church.
listen recipe for disaster and judgment:
Then the Lord said to Samuel, “Behold, I am about to do a thing in Israel at which the two ears of everyone who hears it will tingle. On that day I will fulfill against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. Therefore I swear to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.”
Listen you who are called to lead in the home, in church in society. So ofetn tempted to pull an Eli, I don’t care not going to listen, not worth it to rebuke, teach, train, encourage -parent for convenience. But listen to He’s just been saying, a foolish son is ruin to his father -whole house affect, future affected. A wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping. Just saying, man who despises the commandment die, slothfulness put society into a deep sleep. But listen:
Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
That verse has stopped in my tracks som many times … Don’t give up , even if resluts not there, even if children not believers. qualification for elders - children are to be live srs same word faithful - charcter even if not yet sved or ever saved, in the home taught way of faith, udnerstand way of faithfullness .
That is our calling, and just like we are not to abuse power, we are also not to neglect, reject it:
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ever wonder why disolyalty to state, TREASON treated so seriously, court martialed - often in cultue a capital offense , sin against the society ; well so it is in God’s word too - to reject God-ordained authroity ad leadership , with honour respoect and heart obedience most serious crime against your family and against God. If dihonou God most serious crime their is; of the first table ; Of all the bad things we can do to each other - its this dishonouring - efusing the relationship God’s called us to live in - the is the worst and the rootof al other sins.
Hear me, the preservation of your family, of human family society depends on the honour each of us give to those over us, under us, equal to us. Stop all others sins in tis tacks, and put us on course of making others not objects for selfish living, tools. But loving neighbor as our self!
And tha is why - in the first relationships - husband wife, parent child - the authority through whom we recieve life - in OT Israel most sever punishment was for the child who refused to live in this kind of honour respect and obedience.
For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.
Read Not just parents involved in that captial punishment but the whole town. Not reading these because think punishmnts for Israel as a pilitcal nation in the OT with God as King still apply today, but because the principle of that law , though the penalty has changed that still stnads!
In the Neew Testament the command still stands, and the mark of the end times according to
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
I could almost cry about the conclusion - kid grew up - troubled - miss bus, Parents showed up years later a couple time neighboring area - son was in jail - why uttering death threats and trying to act on them against his parents. I’ve seen grown men with pain in their voice and tears in their eyes - but none like that . Got out of jail - so little flourishing in his life ..St. Augustine says: “If anyone fails to honour his parents, is there anyone he will spare?” but you know what didn’t give up - kept loving, caring, careful entrance into his life… imagine those visits in prison.
But this also leads to our greatest hope for the conclusion and the fulfillment of God’s will in our lives here. None of us obey from the heart perfectly, all of us face brokenness and pain of broken relationships and the curse of families, societies, churches where the breaking of this command leaves us with tattered relationships.
But listen that is why God sent His Son in our place. He was the perfect child. His life’s business was to know and do the Father’s will. To accomplish what Israel was to be as God’s treasured special child in the world, but never lived up to. Jesus did that for you and me. And he paid the penalty for every rotten law-breaking, honour shattering attitude and deed we’ve ever committed. Lived a perfect human life brought glory added to God’s glory in this world - and He gives us his same spirit of obedience , of submission to one another out of love, We are perfect in Him and we are being modeled into the perfect covenant family. We’re accepted not because we’ve kept this law perfectly but because He did, and now following him, united to him - indwelt by His Spirit - we can submit like he submitted for the good he did it for, we can lead the way he led, we can love they way he loved! Honour, KVD - weightineess, give it to God, give to your parents and all those around you - and watch Jesus restore the relationships - all of them to you!