GOSPELIZED MARRIAGE, 3

INTRODUCTION

OPENING STORY: EXHIBIT ILLUSTRATION. THE TOWER OF LONDON. THIS IS WHERE MANY OF THE CROWN JEWELS OF THE BRITISH MONARCHY ARE STORED. WIFE AND I SPENT A DAY THERE TAKING IN ALL THESE EXHIBITS AND TO SAY WE WERE BLOWN AWAY WAS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. EXHIBITS BY DEFINITION TEND TO DO THIS BECAUSE THEY HOUSE VERY SPECIAL THINGS/ITEMS.

WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?

WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?

IN THE SAME WAY GOD WANTS TO USE YOUR MARRIAGE TO DISPLAY THE STUNNING JEWEL OF HIS GOSPEL IN SUCH A WAY THAT INSPIRES AND GIVES HOPE TO PEOPLE LIVING IN A DARK AND HOPELESS WORLD. TO SEE TWO DEEPLY STAINED SINNERS WHOSE MARRIAGE IS CENTERED AROUND THE GOSPEL AND FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER, BUILT ON THE CORNERSTONE OF JESUS CHRIST…YOUR MARRIAGE IS MORE THAN JUST YOUR MARRIAGE. SOMETHING GREATER IS AT PLAY. GOD WANTS TO USE YOUR MARRIAGE AS THE EXHIBIT TO DISPLAY HIS GLORIOUS GOSPEL!

REVIEW/HISTORICAL CONTEXT:

PAUL TETHERS THE GOSPEL TO MARRIAGE. CAN’T UNDERSTAND MARRIAGE WITHOUT THE GOSPEL.

OUR PASSAGE IS A STUNNING ONE FOR MULTIPLE REASONS. WRITTEN IN A SEXIST SOCIETY WHERE WIVES WERE NOT ESTEEMED. JEWISH MEN PRAYED EVERYDAY A PRAYER OF THANKS THAT THEY WERE NOT BORN A WOMAN. JEWS, GREEKS AND ROMANS COULD DIVORCE WOMEN ON A WHIM LEAVING THEM OUT ON THE MARGINS. IT’S INTO THIS THAT PAUL SAYS SOMETHING THAT HAD TO HAVE SHOCKED HIS READERS.

CENTRAL IDEA: HE SAYS IT THREE TIMES, SO MANY TIMES IT’S THE CENTRAL IDEA OF OUR TEXT: HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES. AT ITS BASE HE’S SAYING CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES SHOULD LOOK DIFFERENT. CHRISTIAN WIVES MARRIED TO CHRISTIAN MEN SHOULD FEEL MORE ESTEEMED, MORE EMPOWERED AND ULTIMATELY FLOURISH BECAUSE THEY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO IS BREAKING THE RULES...

BUT WHAT DOES IT EXACTLY MEAN TO LOVE? FOREIGNER ILLUSTRATION/ANALOGY: IN THE 1980S, THE GROUP FOREIGNER RELEASED THEIR HIT SONG IN WHICH THEY ASKED, “I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?” IN THE CHORUS THEY SINGM, “I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE WANT YOU TO SHOW ME. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, I KNOW YOU CAN SHOW ME”. THEIR QUESTION IS THE QUESTION WE HUSBANDS MUST KNOW. WHAT IS LOVE WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF MARRIAGE? WE ARE GOING TO SEE THREE THINGS FROM THIS TEXT ON LOVE: LOVE IS SACRIFICING, SANCTIFYING AND SATISFYING.

LOVE IS SACRIFICING-

EXPLANATION: CAN’T UNDERSTAND PASSAGE A PART FROM LOVE. USED 6X. LOVE IS AGAPAO OR AGAPE. PRESENT ACTIVE IMPERATIVE. A COMMAND. IT IS SEEN IN HAVING AN OTHERS SEEKING PERSPECTIVE OF THEIR GOOD SEEN IN A WILLING FORFEITURE TO LAY DOWN ONE’S RIGHTS FOR THE GOOD OF THE OTHER. THIS IS THE NATURE OF WHO GOD JOHN- GOD IS LOVE. GOD SO LOVES THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON. JESUS SO LOVED US HE GAVE HIS LIFE. …THE VERY NATURE OF LOVE IS TO GIVE AT GREAT COST TO MYSELF FOR GREAT BENEFIT TO YOU! WE WERE SAVED BECAUSE JESUS LAID DOWN HIS RIGHTS FOR US.

ILLUSTRATION: PAT TILLMAN. SHOOK TO THE CORE BY 911, SO MUCH SO HE GAVE UP HIS LUCRATIVE PRO FOOTBALL CAREER AND IN JUNE OF 2002 DID WHAT HE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO- HE ENLISTED IN THE ARMY TO GO SERVE AND PROTECT. THIS WOULD RESULT IN HIM DYING TWO YEARS LATER. HE LAID IT DOWN, GAVE UP HIS RIGHTS AND SACRIFICED FOR THE BETTERMENT OF OUR NATION. THIS IS THE IDEA OF AGAPAO.

APPLICATION: SO HOW DO WE DO THIS IN MARRIAGE? NOTICE THIS IS HOW THE HUSBAND LEADS. MEN ARE THERMOSTATS, AND WOMEN ARE THERMOMETERS. IF WE WANT OUR WIVES TO FLOURISH WE LEAD IN THE SACRIFICE DEPARTMENT. IT’S SIMPLE THINGS LIKE PUTTING GAS IN HER CAR, SAYING I’LL TAKE THE KIDS TO SCHOOL TODAY, BEING PROACTIVE AND MAKING SURE SHE IS ABLE TO DO THOSE THINGS THAT BRING HER LIFE. IT’S SAYING YOU HAVE 30 MINUTES OF MY UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. SPEAKING HER LOVE LANGUAGE. ETC.

LOVE IS SANCTIFYING-

EXPLANATION: I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS…HUSBANDS ARE TO LOVE THEIR WIVES. WHAT DOES THSI LOOK LIKE? LOOK AT THE WORDS IN THE TEXT. SANCTIFY MEANS TO RENDER CLEAN OR PURE. CLEANSED AND WASHING CARRY THE SAME CONNOTATION. ALL THREE PHRASES BRING THE IDEA OF SOMETHING THAT WAS STAINED AND DIRTY AND COMING TO A POINT OF FLAWLESS BEAUTY. IN FACT THIS IS THE HEIGHT OF THE MESSAGE IN VERSE 27…THOSE WORDS ARE BEAUTY TERMS. SPOKE OF SACRIFICES THAT WERE FLAWLESS AND THEREFORE ACCEPTABLE. SPLENDOR MEANS IN GLORY. …WE WERE WASHED...

WEDDING ANALOGY: THESE TERMS TAKE US BACK TO THE WEDDING DAY…DOORS OPEN, AND THERE’S THAT MOMENT. KORIE WAS FLAWLESS! EVERY HAIR WAS IN PLACE. FRIEND OF MINE WANTED TO CAPTURE THE MOMENT ON HIS CAMERA AND THAT’S WHAT HE DID. THAT’S US WHEN WE GET TO GLORY. WE GO FROM SIN STAINED TO SANCTIFIED AND FLAWLESS BECAUSE OF CHRIST’S LEADERSHIP.

POINT: HOW DOES THIS RELATE TO MARRIAGE? WE KNOW WE ARE LOVING OUR WIVES LIKE JESUS BECAUSE THEY FLOURISH, THEY GET BETTER. EVERY WIFE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOOK THROUGH THE REARVIEW MIRROR OF THEIR JOURNEY WITH THEIR HUSBAD AND SAY I AM A BETTER WOMAN BECAUSE OF HIS LEADERSHIP IN MY LIFE.

ILLUSTRATION: ASK ANYONE WHO HAS RESTORED A CAR FROM LOOKING BROKE DOWN TO BEING A MASTERPIECE AND THEY WILL TELL YOU IT DIDN’T HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT OR ON ITS OWN, OR IN SPITE OF. A LOT OF TIME, PATIENCE AND PROACTIVITY WENT INTO IT. SO IT IS WITH OUR LEADERSHIP OF OUR WIVES.

TIME. WE NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM. LIKE REAL QUALITY TIME TOGETHER. KORIE AND I GETTING AWAY. NEEDS TO BE SCHEDULED.

PROACTIVE.

MOM QUOTE: MOM SAYS, AS WIVES AGE THEY TEND TO PHYSICALLY REFLECT THE LEADERSHIP OF THEIR HUSBANDS.

LOVE IS SATISFYING-

EXPLANATION: PAUL CLOSES BY SAYING SOME STUNNING THINGS ABOUT LOVING OUR WIVES. HE SAYS WE ARE TO NOURISH AND CHERISH THEM. NOURISH IS TO FEED THEM, TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY NEED. SPECIFICALLY THIS HAS TO DO WITH THEIR SOUL IN CONTEXT. VERSE 26, ‘WASHING OF WATER WITH THE WORD’. WE NOURISH OUR WIVES BY LEADING THEM SPIRITUALLY. CHERISH THEM- TREAT WITH TENDERNESS AND AFFECTION. SHE’S NOT ONE OF THE BOYS. - WEAKER VESSEL IS MORE VALUABLE. HANDLE WITH CARE.

NOW WHY SHOULD I DO THIS? I AM TO TREAT THEM AS I DO MY OWN BODIES. LOOKING AROUND SOME OF US DO THIS REALLY WELL. WHEN OUR BODY IS HUNGRY THERE’S NO DEBATE, WE TAKE CARE OF IT. THIS IS NOURISHING. WHEN WE ARE TIRED WE GO TO THE SPA SOME OF US. OUT OF SHAPE WE GO TO GYM. NEED REST GO ON VACATION, THIS IS CHERISHING. WE ARE MASTERS AT PROACTIVELY CARING FOR OURSELVES WITHOUT THINKING. PAUL SAYS DO THAT WITH YOUR WIFE HUSBAND. BE SO IN TUNE WITH HER NEEDS YOU CAN JUST JUMP ON IT. NO WAITING.

THEN PAUL DROPS THIS BOMBSHELL- VERSE 28- HE WHO LOVES HIS WIFE LOVES HIMSELF. WHAT DOES HE MEAN? WELL JUST AS WE ARE MEMBERS OF CHRIST WHERE HE IS THE HEAD AND WE ARE THE BODY, SO WHEN WE OBEY CHRIST IT GOES WELL FOR US. WHEN WE LOVE CHRIST WE ARE ACTUALLY LOVING OUR SELVES…THE WAY TO TRUE FULFILLMENT IS NOT BY CONSUMING BUT BY GIVING. NOT BY EATING ALL WE WANT BUT BY DENIAL. HEALTHY FEELS BETTER THAN ANYTHING TASTES. HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE…HEAR OF THAT. IT’S TRUE. WHEN I AM LOVING MY WIFE NOT ON MY TERMS, BUT HERS, AND SACRIFICING, THAT THEN INSPIRES HER TO RECIPROCATE…WE ARE ONE.

PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS:

KNOW YOUR WIFE’S LOVE LANGUAGE. GO THROUGH THE FIVE OF THEM.

BE PROACTIVE TO LEAD HER SPIRITUALLY IN SOMETHING. RECOMMENDATIONS: READ A CHAPTER A WEEK IN A MARRIAGE BOOK AND SAY LET’S DISCUSS ON SUCH AND SUCH A NIGHT. ASK HER THE QUESTION- HOW CAN I CONNECT BETTER TO YOUR SOUL?

PRAY FOR MARRIAGES.