Ten Rules for Living (Master Your Desires)
Exodus 20:17
You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbour’s.[1]
Buddhists consider heaven to be the cessation of all desires. For a Christian, such a state would not be heaven at all; it would only be the cemetery. Some desires are necessary and admirable. There are certain values which we have a perfect right to earnestly desire. I note that there is within our discontent both the potential for blessing and the potential for cursing. As Christians, we must be discerning to insure that our desires secure the blessing of God for us and that we not stumble into His curse.
It is, after all, discontent which impels us to endeavour to better ourselves through preparation and training or through seeking out a better job. We want greater security, so we study and prepare ourselves to attain a better position. We long to provide for our family, so we work hard to advance ourselves. Our dissatisfaction with mediocrity drives us to excel. Nor dare we ever imagine that we should ever be content with mediocrity or embrace the status quo simply because it is familiar.
However, comparing ourselves to others, we see that they are in what we consider to be a better situation. We think they have possessions which make their life easier than ours, or we consider they have opportunities we haven’t. Thus, we grow discontent, not because we are endeavouring to provide for our family or secure our future, but because we are comparing ourselves to another. At that point, we enter the realm of sin as we covet what another has. Discontent, if it arises from covetousness, leads us into grave sin.
In the one situation, we are considering how we may better ourselves and that desire enjoys the blessing of God. In the other situation, we are comparing ourselves with another and we are not wise when we do so. It is the task of each believer to so balance life that discontent with those issues wherein we may glorify God are addressed in a positive fashion and those areas where we are simply expressing greed are mastered and banished so that they do not have dominion over us. In this message, I propose to explore the Word of God to discover together how we may rule over our desires.
It was this rule for living which condemned the Apostle and made him keenly aware of his failure to live up to the standard set by God. You will recall his sorrowful cry in Romans 7:7-24. What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. I would not have known what it is to covet if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.” But sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, produced in me all kinds of covetousness. Apart from the law, sin lies dead. I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin came alive and I died. The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me. For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me. So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good.
Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
If the Apostle struggled with covetousness, should it be a surprise that we struggle with the same issue? If the Apostle felt that this rule for living condemned him, it should not be a surprise that many of us find ourselves condemned when we permit ourselves to think about this Tenth Commandment.
Again, and for emphasis, I say that the concept that Christians are to extinguish all desire is utterly foreign to the Word of God, much less human experience. Christians are not commanded to extinguish all desire! Christians are called to distinguish between desires that they may embrace those desires which honour the Father and master those desires which destroy our relationship with Him. In short, as a people of God we are responsible to be discerning, to discover what pleases God and what merely fuels our own desires, choosing that which honours God and eschewing that which is self-serving.
Perhaps it would be helpful for us to go to the beginning, to the foundation for this Tenth and last Commandment. From there, we will be able to explore the blessings which must surely arise from keeping the commandment and the sorrows which will attend those who ignore it. Join me in an exploration of the Word, then.
The Basis for Contentment — It is possible to become confused about what is permissible and what should not be tolerated among the saints of God. Obviously, confusion abounds since there is a plethora of confused and confusing people writing “authoritative” books on the issue. For instance, there persists a strain of contrived humility among professed people of God in which they endeavour to extinguish all desires. Monasteries and abbeys abound throughout the world where men and women take vows of chastity and vows of poverty in their attempts to rid themselves of all desires and focus on God alone. The continuing rash of charges of sexual predation and financial mismanagement throughout the past twenty years within monastic orders demonstrates the impossibility of slaying illicit desire through isolation and vows.
Some people consider that a life of prayer and meditation, enforced through retreat into desert areas where one may live as a true eremite will extinguish all desire. Of course, nothing of the sort occurs. Others flagellate their bodies, deny themselves comfort and impose the strictest forms of discipline in a vain attempt to forget their desires. In fact, their efforts only insure that they focus on themselves through their exhausting efforts.
There are obviously desires which are recognised as illicit and unrighteous. The text mentions several: your neighbour’s house … your neighbour’s wife … his male servant or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbour’s. In short, that which is personal property or that which is defined by personal relationship is not to be coveted. We are not to be greedy to possess that which would dishonour God! We are to avoid any hint of greed or longing for that which lies beyond the righteousness of God.
There are also legitimate desires which we are to embrace. Writing the Corinthian Christians, the Apostle Paul instructed them in the matter of balancing desire and disappointment. Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity. For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God [1 Corinthians 7:17-24].
What is the foundation for contentment? What is the basis for a contented heart? What would give us fulfilment? Superficially, if desire is sated, contentment should result. If I have eaten my fill and my stomach is full, I am not hungry except there should be some pathological malady afflicting me. If I have good friends and true, and if my family is supportive, I should not feel compelled to seek out fawning sycophants to make me feel complete. Should I possess all things so that nothing which could be given would suffice to either displace or enrich what I now possess, I should be content.
This is precisely the situation prevailing for believers! Some of the most beautiful Psalms are those written by Asaph. Among the Psalms of Asaph, the seventy-third is my favourite. In that Psalm, the psalmist complains about the unfairness of life—how the wicked seem never to be called to account and how the righteous appear to be forgotten even by God. Having sobbed out his sorrow and disappointment, the psalmist reflects on the reality of the situation, however. He enters the Temple of God and considers the situation which actually faces the wicked and the reality of the condition of the righteous. Thinking more clearly than before, Asaph concludes with these words:
Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
[Psalm 73:23-26].
I am with God, concludes the psalmist. God hold(s) my right hand. God guide(s) me with His counsel. God will receive me (in)to glory. The psalmist realises that compared to the transient nature of this world, he possesses all things. That understanding anticipates the insightful words of the Apostle Paul as he reflects on the situation for the early ministers of Christ (a situation which prevails for far too servants of the Lord Christ throughout our fallen world to this day).
Read with me 2 Corinthians 6:4-10, weighing the condition for God’s early servants. As servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labours, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love, by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; through honour and dishonour, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything. Especially take note of that last condition: having nothing, yet possessing everything.
This business of owning nothing and yet being content seems somehow to be a dream to us in this day. To contemporary minds such a concept seems fantastic, an unrealistic fantasy, illusive and ludicrous. We would likely view with suspicion anyone who averred contentment though possessing nothing. Yet, it is quite possible that the blessing of owning nothing is the greatest blessing to have been missed by our contemporaries. To be free of the oppression of a covetous heart, to be free of the tyranny of greed, would be a blessing nonpareil.
Even a cursory survey of the world about us convinces us that contentment is rare; and that lies at the heart of the matter. During heated negotiations on one occasion, John L. Lewis, head of the miner’s union in the United States, was asked what would make him happy. His answer spoke eloquently of the restless desire to possess experienced by the most of us. When asked what would make him happy, he replied, “A little more.”
The basis for contentment, then, lies not in what we possess, but in whether our spirit has been transformed to accept who we are and to accept that what we do hold is held as a stewardship. The basis for contentment lies within the knowledge that we are not owners of anything, but that we are charged to be wise administrators for God who has entrusted to us the few items we hold. We are wealthy beyond compare when we discover this truth since we discover that God has given us Himself and all that He is. Contentment results from a heart set free from the tyranny of this transient world and which has been initiated into the knowledge of that which is real.
During prayer one evening, a fellow Christian made a comment about “the real world.” I quickly interjected, “You mean the transient world, David. The real world is unseen.” This is not mere “God talk,” this is simply a reminder that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible [Hebrews 11:3]. It is a reminder that reality is greater than what can be handled, heard or seen. Contentment lies in a transformation enabling us to treasure the real and to view the temporary as it truly is—transient and ephemeral.
Were I to rephrase this commandment, I could, without doing injury either to the intent or the teaching of the Word, state: be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you [Hebrews 13:5].”
The Blessing of Contentment — If I should treasure God and reject the tyranny of the transient, how am I benefited? A vow of poverty fails to grasp the essence of this rule for living. Since contentment lies in the realm of a transformed heart, it is a spiritual matter. Thus, while the blessings arising from contentment may and do extend to the physical world, the major impact in our lives will be discovered in the real world of the spirit.
Listen to the Apostle as he instructs the young pastor of the church at Ephesus. There is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs [1 Timothy 6:6-10].
Paul is not saying that we must chastise our bodies or deny our physical needs. We need food and clothing. The necessities of physical life cannot be denied. There is surely a place for fasting, but it is always a temporary situation in which we deliberately choose to forsake pleasantries in order to focus on the will of God. Generally, however, we are not called to deny physical necessities. It is that unseen boundary between necessities and desires which bring sorrow as we are deterred from pursuit of the will of God. Thus, the pointed warning from the Apostle that those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs [1 Timothy 6:9-10].
When we settle the issue of contentment and learn to distinguish between want and need, we discover a rich blessing which sets us free to delight in God, realising that He has entrusted to us all things. In Christ, I have not only a lovely wife who shares my desire to honour God, but I have the love and the rich fellowship of the Spirit with God’s people. Having surrendered my claim to hold onto the transient relationships of this world, I am enriched with the permanent relationships which lie in the realm of the Family of God. Please remember the promise of Jesus to His own. There is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life [Mark 10:29-30].
If my Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills [Psalm 50:10], as is fitting of Him who is Creator, is it not accurate to say that in Him I possess all things. If God possess all because He is Creator of all, and owns even those who deny Him both because He created them and because He has paid the redemption price for them [2 Peter 2:1], then even the relationships I enjoy in this life are at the will of God. Having discovered this glorious truth, I am set free of the desire to possess and I am set free to rest in the will of God.
I have previously spoken of the fact that in years past our family memorised Scripture together. Among the verses we learned at one point were a variety of selections from the Songs of Ascent, which are found in the Fifth Book of the Psalms. Among those Songs are several which speak directly to this issue of contentment. My wife’s favourite Psalm was the 121st. Listen to that beautiful Psalm in light of God’s promise so that you can weigh whether God can set us free from concern and covetousness.
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.
[Psalm 121:1-8].
I believe you would agree that this song speaks of rich benefits arising from our relationship to God. The contented heart is a heart at rest—at peace both with God and with itself. The contented soul is a confident soul, moving graciously and with assurance through the world. Asked for the source of her contentment, an elderly woman in Texas recited the fourth verse of this Psalm and then commented, “Shoo, if the Lawd’s gonna’ stay ‘wake all night, ain’t no use o’ both us staying up.” That is great theology! That is great theology indeed!
Nearly all of those Psalms which we know as the Songs of Ascent speak of the blessing of holding true wealth, the knowledge of the Living God and the evident presence of His love. Here are a few other verses from some of the Songs of Ascent which speak of the blessing of contentment.
To you I lift up my eyes,
O you who are enthroned in the heavens!
Behold, as the eyes of servants
look to the hand of their master,
as the eyes of a maidservant
to the hand of her mistress,
so our eyes look to the Lord our God,
till he has mercy upon us.
[Psalm 123:1-2]
Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be moved, but abides forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the Lord surrounds his people,
from this time forth and forevermore.
[Psalm 125:1-2]
Among my favourite Psalms is the 127th. You will no doubt recall the Psalm.
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labour in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
[Psalm 127:1-5]
A contented heart is a heart which receives each gift with unfeigned gratitude, knowing that behind the gift is God. Paul received a gracious remembrance from the saints in Philippi and rejoiced. He then provided them some wonderful instruction which applies even to this distant day. I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me [Philippians 4:11-13]. The blessing of contentment is that possessing Christ we have need of nothing else.
The Bonds of Covetousness — Of necessity there is a dark side to the message, a warning which must be issued if I will be true to the Word of God. If covetousness reigns in my life, if greed rules over me, I am of all people most miserable. A wise man named Agur observed:
The leech has two daughters;
“Give” and “Give,” they cry.
Three things are never satisfied;
four never say, “Enough”:
Sheol, the barren womb,
the land never satisfied with water,
and the fire that never says, “Enough.”
[Proverbs 30:15-16]
This saying is explained in Solomon’s observation:
Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied,
and never satisfied are the eyes of man.
[Proverbs 27:20]
This is but an iteration of the mournful observations of the man who had it all:
All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
[Ecclesiastes 1:8]
All the toil of man is for his mouth, yet his appetite is not satisfied [Ecclesiastes 6:7].
If my heart is yet bound to this world, I will never find contentment. If my life is yet moulded by the concepts of this world, I will never be satisfied. Regardless of how much I hold, I will want a little more, and soon the pursuit of possessions will define my existence and nothing will suffice to give me contentment. It is because I judge myself by what I hold and through comparing myself to others that I am unsatisfied. It is precisely because I think that my worth is defined by what I possess that I am in bondage to things.
The lewd and lecherous of this world think they define their being by who they possess. They are discontented, always looking for a younger companion, someone whose presence lends substance to their life because the beauty of youth compliments their ageing bodies. They are in bondage to their own carnal desires. Does Larry Flynt find as much satisfaction in his salacious, fruitless search as does the humble man content with his own wife and ravished by her sweet presence? Do you actually believe that Hugh Hefner is satisfied despite every attempt to gratify his perverted and voracious sexual appetites?
The avaricious pursuing wealth with neither conscience nor consideration of others yearns as much for the next deal as they do for the moneys they will control. They have concluded that their being is defined by what they possess and control. So, to their dismay they soon discover that they are enslaved by the drive to obtain a little more. Instead of bringing contentment, their consuming desire rules them and increasingly defines their very being.
The gluttonous will not be content though their stomach is swollen and distended. The proud will not be satisfied despite fawning sycophants surrounding them. The powerful soon discover that holding the future of many does not satisfy. This was the sorrowful discovery of Solomon who, when he had sated every conceivable desire, mourned: Vanity of vanities… Vanity of vanities! … Vanity of vanities! All is vanity [Ecclesiastes 1:2]!
Were I blind, were I unable to hear, were I insensible to any comparison to others, perhaps I would be free of the sin of longing to possess what another has. Alternatively, were I to have a proper understanding of the true worth of the elements of this passing world, I would be set at liberty and perhaps empowered to live a life free of covetousness. Victory lies not in rejecting the accoutrements of this world; victory lies in holding the things of this world lightly. Victory shall be found in possessing my goods and avoiding being possessed by my goods. Victory over a covetous heart lies in employing the goods of this world in a manner such that they make an eternal impact.
You cannot experience victory over the sin of covetousness until your heart is set free. You cannot be free of the bondage of covetousness until you are free from the sin of rejecting grace. This is the Word of Christ. Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed [John 8:34-36].
It was that same Jesus who promised to all peoples: Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgement, but has passed from death to life. “Truly, truly, I say to you, an hour is coming, and is now here, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live. For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself [John 5:24-26].
May God grant you divine restlessness, may He keep your eyes from sleep, until you look to Him and to His Christ Who alone gives the gift of life. May the Living God make you sick of your covetous heart, and thus impel you to cry out for mercy. In Him, there is sufficient grace and mercy to save even you. You need but turn to Him, calling out for grace and He shall receive you. Jesus pleads with each who is sick of sin. Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” [Matthew 11:28-30].
If you ask, “How shall I come to this Christ? How shall I be freed of my sin?” the answer is discovered in the Word of God. Listen carefully to the ancient words of the Apostle Paul.
If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” [Romans 10:9-13].
Christ calls. The Spirit of God calls. The Father waits to receive you as His beloved child, forgiving you every sin and making you pure and holy before Him. You need but receive the mercy and grace which is even now extended to you.
We invite any who will receive Christ today to come while we sing and while we pray. Do not delay. Come, receiving Christ and receiving His grace. As we stand to sing a hymn of appeal, on the first note of the first stanza we invite you to step out of your pew and step into the aisle. Coming to take the Pastor’s hand you are saying, “Here I am, one somebody or together with my family or with my friends, here I am. I choose Christ. I choose life. I want to be set free from condemnation and brought into His light and into His life.” You come as we stand and as we sing. Amen.
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[1] Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Ó 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.