God's Gift of Love

Introduction

Confession time… I love a good chick-flick. And you know what, it runs in the family. I grew up with my sister being the closest in age to me so we spent a lot of time together, she’d watch power rangers with me and then I’d watch something like Father of the Bride with her. I love a good chick-flick. 

Even more… my dad is a real man’s man. He was raised out in Nolensville. Grew up doing farm work, played ball, hunted. My dad is the man… but even still today if I walk through our living room and either Legally Blonde or How to Lose a guy in 10 days is on, this big ole dude is sitting there glued to the TV… and it just so happens that I am the same way. Like father, like son.

The truth is, these love stories, even if they are silly are found throughout history and the entire human experience. Classic encounters like Romeo and Juliet, to Anakin and Padme, to Kim and Kanye… (too soon?) There is a reason that our culture is so well-engrained with a variety of love stories. Be it with any of these examples or something that you’ve experienced yourself, I think that we can all agree what we’ve been talking about these past few weeks as we’ve studied this family line throughout the Bible, that the closer the relationship is supposed to be, be it with a father and child, mother and child, husband and wife, whatever, the closer the relationship is supposed to be, the greater there is potential is for hurt and struggle. 

That was the case with Jacob and Esau last week, and we get another dose of it this week as we look at Jacob and his pursuit of a wife. We’ll dive in here in a second but how many of you know broken relationships? How many of you know how addicting it seems for someone to keep going back to unhealthy, broken relationships? 

It seems like it is so easy to keep going back and drink from that well. For some it even seems like a borderline addiction, that they can’t help but be drawn to destructive and unhealthy situations. But even in our brokenness, even in our fallenness and our hurt-filled experiences, we can know that the way our hearts are wired to love and be loved, points us to something so much more pure and life-giving. With that in mind, open your Bible’s to and as you find your way there let me catch you up to where exactly we’re at. 

Connection

Last week we saw how Jacob once more lived up to the meaning of his name as “deceiver” and manipulated his older brother Esau out of the blessing of his father. From his very birth he could be characterized as a deceiver and manipulator.

He grabbed his brother back from the womb. He got his dim-witted older brother to throw away his birthright. He stole the seat of leadership of the house from his brother, and yet God still blessed this man and prospered a line through him. Why? Because he’s such a highly moral character? Not exactly, but because God’s sovereign hand can and does work even through the massive sins and struggles of a messy people.

God chose Jacob through no merit of his own to love and to relate with, and so too does He choose His people here today, to love and relate with...

We pick back up with Jacob as he flees from his brother who is in a murderous rage for having been duped out of everything. His mom, Rebekah kind of snuck him away because Jacob was her favorite and one of the final commands that Jacob received from his parents was to not take a wife in this foreign land because of their allegiance to foreign and false gods.

You might think that that is no big deal, that mismatching beliefs within a couple is not that big of a deal but Paul some couple of thousand years later in the New Testaments affirms this all over in when he says, Don’t become partners with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness.

14 Don’t become partners with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness

And just keep this in mind guys, when you come together with someone, be it in friendship, relationship, or whatever, you will be growing closer in your walk with Christ, or there will be a tension that tempts you away from the one for whom you were made.

Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2017), .

That is what is happening here as Jacob is bid to go and find him a wife who is a worshipper of the one true God. He travels to the homeland of his father and he meets Rachel. And as we talk about love stories, Scripture details that this is the love at first sight, sparks flying, dopey kind of meeting.

In this day and age a man had to pay a “bride-price” to marry so Jacob commits to work amongst Laban’s (Rachel’s father) ranks for seven years. You might ask what would motivate a man to dedicate seven years of his life to such work? Well describes Rachel in a way that says why Rachel caught Jacob’s eye… Laban had two daughters and it says that Rachel was “shapely and beautiful” while the other sister Leah had “tender eyes,” translation… Rachel, swipe right, Leah… not so much.

So we can already see that Jacob is about as deep as a puddle, and that is where we pick up in verse 21

Proclamation

21 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Since my time is complete, give me my wife, so I can sleep with her.” — Ok, straight to the point...

22 So Laban invited all the men of the place and sponsored a feast. — So a wedding feast

23 That evening, Laban took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and he slept with her. 24 And Laban gave his slave Zilpah to his daughter Leah as her slave.

25 When morning came, there was Leah! So he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Wasn’t it for Rachel that I worked for you? Why have you deceived me?”

26 Laban answered, “It is not the custom in this place to give the younger daughter in marriage before the firstborn. 27 Complete this week of wedding celebration, and we will also give you this younger one in return for working yet another seven years for me.”

28 And Jacob did just that. He finished the week of celebration, and Laban gave him his daughter Rachel as his wife. 29 And Laban gave his slave Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her slave. 30 Jacob slept with Rachel also, and indeed, he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.

H Lit can go to

Christian Standard Bible Chapter 29

21 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Since my time is complete, give me my wife, so I can sleep withH her.” 22 So Laban invited all the men of the place and sponsored a feast. 23 That evening, Laban took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and he slept with her. 24 And Laban gave his slave Zilpah to his daughter Leah as her slave.

25 When morning came, there was Leah! So he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Wasn’t it for Rachel that I worked for you? Why have you deceived me?”

26 Laban answered, “It is not the custom in this place to give the younger daughter in marriage before the firstborn. 27 Complete this week of wedding celebration, and we will also give you this younger one in return for working yet another seven years for me.”

28 And Jacob did just that. He finished the week of celebration, and Laban gave him his daughter Rachel as his wife. 29 And Laban gave his slave Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her slave. 30 Jacob slept with Rachel also, and indeed, he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.a

a

Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2017), .

God Disciplines Those He Loves

Exposition

We see here that Jacob is confronted with the consequences of sin. Throughout the course of his life he has lived in such a way where he has stepped on top of those around him, namely his loved ones, for his personal gain.

And we see here when Jacob is just an arm’s length away from what he desires, that the rug is pulled out from underneath him. Not unlike how Esau was just a breath away from receiving the blessing of his father, only to be manipulated out of what he was due.

The deceiver is deceived.

In this moment, Jacob knew exactly how Esau felt when the blessing was ripped out from under him through lies and deception. The parallels in the story are clear: the matter of the firstborn, the exploitation of desires, and tragic deception. And that is the point. This is what God wanted Jacob to experience—the pain and fury of deception, especially deception at the hands of a relative that was at the very core of human intimacy—a place where we are supposed to feel safe and loved. God used Laban’s trickery to teach Jacob a lesson he needed to learn, to discipline him. Not because He was fed up with Jacob—but because He loved him. God disciplines the ones He loves (). No discipline is enjoyable — it is painful—but it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness (). Jacob was a manipulator, exploiter, and deceiver. Although none of that disqualified him from receiving God’s promised blessing, God loved him too much to leave him there. God wants to purify His own and that purification sometimes comes through pain.

pain

Application

When you sit there in your home or at school and you find yourself asking, “how in the world did I get here?” I want you to think intently on what it is that God might be bringing about in you.

Now I never want you to think that God is petty to say, “Oh you did x, I’m going to do y to teach you a lesson.” But just as any good parent does, God will let you venture out into your own decisions and desires that you might learn and grow. Sometimes this comes about through discipline. And while discipline may at times be unpleasant it does not mean that you are outside of God’s affection.

Illustration

I had a basketball coach and perhaps some of you may have had a coach like this who came down on me super hard after not performing quite so well. He would point out my lack of fundamentals in practice in front of everyone. He’d make me run and I while I knew I wasn’t quite playing up to standard I couldn’t help but think, “man, I don’t deserve this...”

Interrogation

Now Coach Tackett would pull me aside after moments like these and tell me, “don’t worry about me coming down hard on you. Worry when I stop worrying about your growth as a player.”

Coach Tackett to this day is one of my favorite coaches I’ve ever had because of moments like these. Despite some of the unpleasant moments where my immaturity or ignorance resulted in a tongue lashing, I never doubted that Coach Tackett wanted me to be a better ball player and even more than that, he wanted me to grow to be a respectable young man.

Discipline in God’s dealings is for those He loves. So with that in mind, discuss this amongst your tables...

Interrogation

How do you think this might have caused Jacob to think deeply about his own lies and deception toward Esau?

Why is it a good thing that God disciplines who He loves?

Why is it a good thing that God disciplines who He loves?

How has God’s discipline been a good thing in your life? Has God disciplined you? If not, does do you think that means?

How has God’s discipline been a good thing in your life? Has God disciplined you? If not, does do you think that means?

God Loves the Unloveable

Proclamation

31 When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he opened her womb; but Rachel was unable to conceive. 32 Leah conceived, gave birth to a son, and named him Reuben, for she said, “The Lord has seen my affliction; surely my husband will love me now.”

33 She conceived again, gave birth to a son, and said, “The Lord heard that I am unloved and has given me this son also.” So she named him Simeon.

34 She conceived again, gave birth to a son, and said, “At last, my husband will become attached to me because I have borne three sons for him.” Therefore he was named Levi.

35 And she conceived again, gave birth to a son, and said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Therefore she named him Judah. Then Leah stopped having children.

b ; ; ; ; ;

c

d ; ; ; ;

A = See, a Son; in Hb, the name Reuben sounds like “has seen my affliction.”

e ; ; ;

B In Hb, the name Simeon sounds like “has heard.”

C In Hb, the name Levi sounds like “attached to.”

D In Hb, the name Judah sounds like “praise.”

f ;

Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2017), .

Exposition

When we read of how Laban’s deceived Jacob, we most likely focus on Jacob’s pain the next morning when he discovered he had been tricked. But we cannot miss the pain this caused Leah as well.

Here was a woman who followed her father’s direction and the expectations and customs of her day, and she would only experience sorrow and suffering.

Leah was the source of Jacob’s pain. He did not love her and she knew it. As we have already discovered, God shows love to His people, even to those who are unloved by others.

In a society where a woman’s prestige depended almost entirely on her success in bearing sons, the Lord gave Leah four.

By the time Leah bore a fourth son—whom she named Judah, “I will praise the Lord”—she made no mention of her condition and offered no hope of acquiring her husband’s love. Instead she turned to God in praise. She may have given up on Jacob’s love, but she would not give up on God’s. Even in distress, words of praise freely fell from the mouth of a woman who learned she was loved by the Lord.

This is what God’s gift of love does. It changes our perspective. It motivates us. It sustains us. It was love that motivated the Son of God to take on flesh, endure suffering and shame, and lay down His life at the cross (; ).

And it is love that carries us as we seek to follow Him (). Our love of Christ is what changes our perspective of life, motivates us to endure difficulties, and sustains us in the ebbs and flows of life. This is why loving Christ is so essential. Love truly is a wonderful gift from God—a gift that reflects God, who is love Himself ().

Application

Guys, there will be times in your life where everything seems to be going against you. You will feel like Leah and despite your walking in obedience, doing good work, life just seems to steamroll you.

What we hope for you as a church, what we as leaders want to encourage you is that we have all been there. We have known hurt and struggle and strife, and we would echo the words of the psalmist when he says, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

Through good times and hard times there are few things that are constant in this world, really only one thing, that if you belong to Jesus God loves you. Even when everything seems set against you, even when you don’t feel lovable. And that is such a great source of hope in a world that doesn’t typically offer a whole lot.

So now I want you to talk about it. Talk about what it means to be perfectly loved despite our fallenness and shame. Here are some questions for you all to consider and after I want you all to pray. Pray for your week. Pray for your friends and your family, but guys if this is not a love that you have stepped into yet, pull your table leader aside, come pull me aside so that we can pray and speak directly with God Himself that you might surrender to Him who loves you perfectly. Discuss these amongst your table.

Interrogation

What do we learn from this account about God’s love toward those who often go unloved by others?

Why should God’s never-ending, never-failing love be a constant source of encouragement for us in all aspects of our lives?

Why should God’s never-ending, never-failing love be a constant source of encouragement for us in all aspects of our lives?

How have you seen God develop your love for others through an understanding of His love for you?

How have you seen God develop your love for others through an understanding of His love for you?

Conclusion

Why should we actively seek to reflect the love of Christ to others?

Interrogation

Why should we actively seek to reflect the love of Christ to others?

What can you do to show someone who may feel unloved how much he or she is loved by God?

What can you do to show someone who may feel unloved how much he or she is loved by God?