The Delilah Delimma

But, Daddy, I Love Him

Since the deconstruction of Beauty and the Beast last week was so very popular, we will pick up Little Mermaid.

The Little Mermaid is a story from Denmark of a star-crossed lover, a mermaid who falls in love with a human. Her father forbids it, pointing out that she is a mermaid and he is a human and she says “But, Daddy, I love him!”

In the Disney version she goes to land and wins him over and her father sees the error of his ways, transforms her into a human, and they live happily ever after.

In the original version… it doesn’t work out at all. The prince marries someone else and, distraught that she can’t be part of the sea or part of the land she casts herself from a cliff in despair. Her father transforms her into the sea foam that crests every wave, so that she can forever be part of both worlds.

I don’t know why Disney didn’t use that ending.

In most movies “love is the answer”. “All we need is love.” and love solves all problems. In real life, and some of the best fiction reflects this, sometimes love can lead to some dark and dangerous places.

And here at church, and here in the Bible, we talk a whole lot about love. Jesus is all about love, God is love.

So if we just love people it is all going to work out, right?

If God is love, isn’t love God, and doesn’t that mean that if we just love things will all work out?

Before the Little Mermaid, there was Samson, looking for love in all the wrong places.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Samson in a Nutshell

Judges 16:1–3 ESV

Samson went to Gaza, and there he saw a prostitute, and he went in to her. The Gazites were told, “Samson has come here.” And they surrounded the place and set an ambush for him all night at the gate of the city. They kept quiet all night, saying, “Let us wait till the light of the morning; then we will kill him.” But Samson lay till midnight, and at midnight he arose and took hold of the doors of the gate of the city and the two posts, and pulled them up, bar and all, and put them on his shoulders and carried them to the top of the hill that is in front of Hebron.

He-man with a she-weakness.

He is a sinner, but God uses him against the Philistines anyway. As we saw last week, God is working to free his people from captivity, from their chains, even if they are complacent and comfortable in those chains. The trouble-making Spirit of God is upon Samson to stir up trouble between the Philistines and God’s people.

Here he empowers Samson to do this Superman move, rip the gates right off the hinges and walk off with them. You can’t contain me!

Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

But something is different.

Judges 16:4 ESV

After this he loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah.

He loves her. “But Daddy, I love her.” Different from the prostitute a moment before. Different than his first wife. The Bible just said “She was right in his eyes.” But here “he loved a woman.”

And was she worthy of his love?

Judges 16:5–6 ESV

And the lords of the Philistines came up to her and said to her, “Seduce him, and see where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to humble him. And we will each give you 1,100 pieces of silver.” So Delilah said to Samson, “Please tell me where your great strength lies, and how you might be bound, that one could subdue you.”

How much money? 1100 shekels per governor, five governors, 5,500 shekels. This is a massive amount of money. Some estimates put it north of $100,000. Delilah isn’t going to sell out Samson cheap… but she is certainly going to sell her out.

Samson loves Delilah. Delilah loves money, and is willing to betray her lover for that money.

“How you might be bound, that one could subdue you...” Subtle. Super subtle.

First attempt

Judges 16:7–9 ESV

Samson said to her, “If they bind me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, then I shall become weak and be like any other man.” Then the lords of the Philistines brought up to her seven fresh bowstrings that had not been dried, and she bound him with them. Now she had men lying in ambush in an inner chamber. And she said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” But he snapped the bowstrings, as a thread of flax snaps when it touches the fire. So the secret of his strength was not known.

“Fresh” bowstrings. Remember what “fresh” means? Moist. Sinews of an animal still “fresh” from that animal. Again trivilializing his Nazirite vow.

Second attempt

Judges 16:10–12 ESV

Then Delilah said to Samson, “Behold, you have mocked me and told me lies. Please tell me how you might be bound.” And he said to her, “If they bind me with new ropes that have not been used, then I shall become weak and be like any other man.” So Delilah took new ropes and bound him with them and said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” And the men lying in ambush were in an inner chamber. But he snapped the ropes off his arms like a thread.

Third attempt

Judges 16:13–14 ESV

Then Delilah said to Samson, “Until now you have mocked me and told me lies. Tell me how you might be bound.” And he said to her, “If you weave the seven locks of my head with the web and fasten it tight with the pin, then I shall become weak and be like any other man.” So while he slept, Delilah took the seven locks of his head and wove them into the web. And she made them tight with the pin and said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” But he awoke from his sleep and pulled away the pin, the loom, and the web.

Creative. We know from this that Samson must be a deep sleeper. Getting closer to the truth.

Delilah setting up a loom, like where you would make cloth, and weaving his hair into the web of the loom. This is oddly specific, but pretty creative. It must have been awful to untangle after the fact.

Fourth attempt

Judges 16:15–16 ESV

And she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and you have not told me where your great strength lies.” And when she pressed him hard with her words day after day, and urged him, his soul was vexed to death.

Tortured to death.

Deciding...

He must know the price of telling her. She has tried everything he told her would work. Even if he just thinks she is testing the truth, he has to know she is going to cut his hair if he tells.

He loves her. And he tells her. How do we know this is a deep secret? He “tells her all his heart”.

Judges 16:17 ESV

And he told her all his heart, and said to her, “A razor has never come upon my head, for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If my head is shaved, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak and be like any other man.”

He “told her all his heart”.

He “bared his soul.”

And he tells her the truth.

And guess what she does?

Judges 16:18–20 ESV

When Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called the lords of the Philistines, saying, “Come up again, for he has told me all his heart.” Then the lords of the Philistines came up to her and brought the money in their hands. She made him sleep on her knees. And she called a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him, and his strength left him. And she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” And he awoke from his sleep and said, “I will go out as at other times and shake myself free.” But he did not know that the Lord had left him.

Isn’t that one of the saddest lines in Scripture.

“But he did not know that the Lord had left him”

And the consequences are devastating.

Judges 16:21–22 ESV

And the Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes and brought him down to Gaza and bound him with bronze shackles. And he ground at the mill in the prison. But the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.

(Little note of hope there at the end)

Samson Chooses Delilah

Samson wants Delilah. Samson loves Delilah.

Now God doesn’t command secrecy. But Samson has to know after the first three attempts that Delilah is going to immediately test the truth, even if he doesn’t know the depths of her betrayal.

Attempt 1: oh, I woke up with fresh sinews around my arms.

Attempt 2: oh, I woke up bound with new ropes. What a coincidence.

But Attempt 3: Oh, look my hair is woven into the web of a loom and now I have a carpet hair-do!

He knows. And this would appear to be the last shred of his Nazirite vow.

Samson loves Delilah. Samson chooses love for Delilah over obedience to God.

I am going to make a word substitution here. It is clear that Samson chooses love for Delilah over obedience to God… what is that obedience to God? What is it supposed to be? What does summarize all the commandments, all the obedience to God? It’s in Deuteronomy 5, and later Jesus will say it:

The first step of obedience, the most important commandment => love of God.

And also “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” So love implies obedience, and obedience implies love. So how about this.

Samson puts his love for Delilah before his love for God.

God gives Samson just what he wants. (Isn’t that one of the scariest things?)

All we need is love?

Love Has An Order

This is our cultures favorite twisting of what the Bible is about, Jesus is about, Christianity is about. “Isn’t it all about love?” Yes, but love has an order.

Jesus put it together this way:

Matthew 22:36–40 ESV

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Which is first and which is second?

Samson loves Delilah. He places his desire for intimacy with Delilah above his obedience to God’s commands.

He chooses Delilah over God and God leaves Him. There is an order to this: love God, then others.

When we get that backwards we fail at both.

Samson fails at loving Delilah. And he fails at loving God.

Fortunately, in that little note of hope at the end, we know that God does not fail at loving Samson.

But when I put any relationship in my life above my relationship with God, I am wrong. I am confused. And I do damage to both relationships. Because it isn’t how am I wired, how I am created, how relationships are created, it isn’t how love works.

We only love because he first loved us.

Love God, then Others

The horizontal depends upon the vertical. It holds it up, it sustains it.

What relationships in my life am I putting before my love with God?

Spouse? Kids? Parents? Best BFF Forever?

How can I bring God into the center of that relationship?

I am working on being intentional with this with my kids. Believe it or not, this doesn’t come for free because I am a pastor. In confession, in the chaos that is our lives this so easily slips out of our daily life.

How often do my kids hear me talking about God to them?

How often do my kids hear me talking to God about them?

I am praying for them. It has been rare that I’ve asked to pray for me. The prayer of a child is a powerful thing. Pray for us, this is something I am trying to figure out.

If I don’t bring God into the center, even of our great relationship, pure and true love… if God isn’t at the center I will fail in both directions. Thank God for His grace that is working to love me and my kids despite my own failures.

Perhaps God has placed a relationship on your heart, and we can pray for that relationship now. And if that isn’t your struggle right now, pray for your neighbor and pray for me.

God be the center.

Be the center of every relationship in my life.

May I love you, and out of my love for you flows my love for everyone else: my family, my friends, my neighbors.

May I worship you, and you alone.