THE GODLY MARRIAGE

Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

EPHESIANS

In order to uncover the processes that destroy unions, marital researchers study couples over the course of years, and even decades, and retrace the star-crossed steps of those who have split up back to their wedding day. What they are discovering is unsettling. None of the factors one would guess might predict a couple's durability actually does: not how in love a newlywed couple say they are; how much affection they exchange; how much they fight or what they fight about. In fact, couples who will endure and those who won't look remarkably similar in the early days.

Yet when psychologists Cliff Notarius of Catholic University and Howard Markman of the University of Denver studied newlyweds over the first decade of marriage, they found a very subtle but telling difference at the beginning of the relationships. Among couples who would ultimately stay together, 5 out of every 100 comments made about each other were putdowns. Among couples who would later split, 10 of every 100 comments were insults. That gap magnified over the following decade, until couples heading downhill were flinging five times as many cruel and invalidating comments at each other as happy couples. "Hostile putdowns act as cancerous cells that, if unchecked, erode the relationship over time," says Notarius, who with Markman co-authored the new book We Can Work It Out. "In the end, relentless unremitting negativity takes control and the couple can't get through a week without major blowups."

U.S. News & World Report, February 21, 1994, p. 67.

Marriage is when you agree to spend the rest of your life sleeping in a room that's too warm, beside someone who's sleeping in a room that's too cold.

1-THE CHARGE TO THE WIVES.

A- WIVES ARE TO SUBMIT TO THEIR HUSBANDS OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST.

Ephesians: An Introduction and Commentary a. Husbands and Wives (5:22–33)

Codes of household duties were familiar to the Greeks from Aristotle onwards; they became a familiar part of Christian instruction

Ephesians 5:21 ESV

21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:22 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

EPHESIANS 5:

Ephesians: An Introduction and Commentary a. Husbands and Wives (5:22–33)

It is significant that throughout this section husbands and wives are reminded of their duties and not their rights.

B-THE HUSBAND IS THE HEAD OF THE WIFE.

Ephesians 5:23 ESV

23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

EPHESIANS

Genesis 3:16 ESV

16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

Genesis 3:13 ESV

13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

C-THE WIFE IS TO MODEL THE CHURCH IN HER RELATIONSHIP TO HER HUSBAND.

Ephesians 5:24 ESV

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

EPHESIANS 5:

2-THE CHARGE TO THE HUSBANDS.

A-HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES.

Ephesians 5:25 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

B-THE JOB OF THE HUSBAND S TO BUILD UP HIS WIFE IN CHRIST.

Ephesians 5:26–30 ESV

26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.

EPHESIANS 5:26-

Ephesians 5:26–29 ESV

26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

EPHESIANS 5:26-

Titus 3:5 ESV

5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

titus

Song of Solomon 4:7 ESV

7 You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

song

C-THE LOVE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN IS A MYSTERY.

EPHESIANS 5:23

Ephesians 5:31–33 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

THE IMAGERY PAUL USES HERE IS TO FURTHER EXPLAIN THE WORKINGS OF THE CHURCH AND THE LIFE OF A CHRISTIAN. OUR SOCIETY HAS PERVERTED THE IDEA OF MARRIAGE AND FURTHERMORE PERVERTED THE IDEA OF THE CHURCH.