Watch My Back

Ephesians 4:25-32

Watch My Back

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbour, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labour, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.[1]

As a young man, I joined the United States Marine Corps. I now realise that I, as was true for many young men, was manipulated in part by unscrupulous politicians who manufactured the Gulf of Tonkin incident in order to justify invasion of a sovereign nation. No doubt, I was influenced in my decision by the fact that two of my uncles had served as Marines during the Second World War. Neither spoke much of their duties in the Pacific Theatre of war, but the rest of the family recognised that they had experienced something unique. Ultimately, I suppose that the primary reason I wanted to be in the Corps was its history and the pride of knowing that I was part of an elite force. Ultimately, I left the Marines involuntarily due to a broken back, disqualifying me from many of the activities Marines engage in. I suppose I should be grateful for that.

In 1965, when I joined the Corps, the Marines were justifiably proud of the fact that they had never left any of their own behind during combat. During the politically engineered retreat from the Chosin Reservoir during that forgotten war, the Korean Conflict, encircled Marines battled three Chinese armies, destroying two of them in the process and decimating the third. Led by Colonel Chesty Puller, the Marines brought out all their people, including their dead. I determined quite early that if it was necessary that I must fight, I wanted to be part of a dependable team. I wanted to know that I could depend upon the Marines situated either to my right or to my left to fulfil their responsibilities. I wanted to know that I would not be left to fight the battle on my own.

Christians are engaged in a great conflict, and we must watch out for one another. Ours is not a conflict which employs the weapons of this fallen world. We are engaged in a battle for the souls of men, in which we deliver men from death and into life. This particular conflict is so great that no Christian is excluded from the struggle.

Unfortunately, in the battles we fight, we cannot always depend upon those enlisted with us. Some of our fellow combatants are AWOL. Some cower in their foxholes, fearful of venturing out. Some pretend they are not involved and thus leave us vulnerable to assault from our blind side. Thankfully, there are some saints who watch their own sector of the front and thus secure our flank. The call of this message is for each of us to assume responsibility for one another. You, fellow saint, watch my back.

We Belong to One Another — The passage begins with therefore [dio;]. Of course, this compels us to look back to what has preceded, and when we do look back, we will discover the passage which we explored last Sunday. Previously, the Apostle has drawn a contrast between heathens and Christians. Those living in the world, the unsaved, are identified as heathens. As such, they are incapable of living beyond a given position because their understanding is darkened. They are ignorant of righteousness and their hearts are petrified. Thus, they are callused and have surrendered themselves to sensuality (they operate by their feelings).

In contradistinction, Christians are a new people, called by God to put off the old self and to put on the new self as a conscious act each day. I must emphasise that Christians are called to choose to put on this new self continually and without exception. As a new people, we bear responsibility to one another.

You will recall that Paul dealt with the mind as the root of evil for outsiders. He was not terribly concerned with the actions of outsiders, but he pointed to the darkened mind as the source of trouble. The outsider is ignorant of the will of God, alienated from God, and he has callused himself against righteousness. It is not so much that outsiders choose to do evil, but rather that they cannot choose good consistently.

As we saw, because we are created as new people in Christ, we bear certain responsibilities toward God. Among those features which must be counted as dead and as having no further place in our life are the deceitful desires of the past. In fact, we are called to be renewed in the spirit of []our minds, even as we put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

I want to recall what I said about this renewal of the mind in the previous sermon. As Christians, we are to be renewed in the spirit of []our minds. …This verb, which is translated into English by the phrase be renewed is a present infinitive. This indicates that in addition to a decisive rejection of the old self and the assumption of the new self, there must be a continuous, inward renewal of our outlook as a Christian. Consider this. If heathen degradation was due to the futility of our minds, then Christian righteousness depends on the constant renewing of our minds.

It is necessary that we work at being Christian, not in order to be Christians, but because we are Christians. Each of us is responsible to seek to express the likeness of God through lives marked by true righteousness and holiness. At this point, some perceptive individuals among us will begin to wonder if there is a standard by which we can gauge our movement toward living in true righteousness and holiness. That is precisely the standard which the Apostle is presenting within the few sentences in our text.

Before I actually address those specific issues, I must call your attention to the implicit truth of the apostolic teaching which is that we are a distinct people. By this, I mean that we are no longer isolated and living solo lives. Hell, in one sense, is nothing less than the ultimate condition resulting from rebellion against God.

Fallen man is in rebellion against God. He no longer wishes intimacy with God. In fact, fallen man considers such intimacy as a torment. To worship God is an agony. To consider God’s will, much less to attempt to do the will of God, is anguish. From the beginning of rebellion, fallen man has attempted to replace God on the throne of his life. He sneers at the very thought of a submissive attitude toward God, much less submission toward another person. Thus, the sinner, having seated “self” on the throne and at the centre of life, wants all creation to obey him and to serve his interests.

If you think these words extreme or harsh, consider the ubiquitous doctrine which characterises contemporary society—the exaltation of “self.” “Self-esteem” is so important that how a student “feels” about himself is of greater significance than whether that student can read or write. Whether or not we actually state this fact in so many words, the principle nevertheless appears to be firmly established in contemporary minds.

Churches are deeply concerned that people feel good about themselves. The vast majority of pastors are trained to invest hours making their people feel good about themselves. The average seminary graduate receives more training in counselling then training in expository preaching or systematic theology. I fear that those who present themselves as teachers of the Word are better-versed in contemporary psychology then they are in the Word of God. Messages are designed to make listeners feel good about themselves instead of causing us to reflect upon our struggles to do what is good.

Ultimately, God gives fallen man what he unconsciously seeks—autonomy! Hell is exclusion from the presence of God and from all the remainder of humanity! The Bible speaks of that awful place as a place of outer darkness [see Matthew 8:12]. There will be no camaraderie or conviviality in hell. There will be no warmth, no intimacy, no friendships in hell. This is the ultimate expression of man’s autonomy [see Jude 6, 12].

Paul will shortly inform us that we were at one time darkness, but having been saved, now we are light in the Lord [Ephesians 5:8]. Darkness once marked us is in the past and we are transformed. Thus, Peter says we are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that [we] may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called [us] out of darkness into His marvellous light. Focus on the next words which Peter writes. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people [1 Peter 2:9, 10].

We must no longer live separate from one another, but we must realise that we are to unite as the community of Faith. We are the people of God. As His people, we must not only accept community, but we must work to build up community. The individual who says, “I will just worship by myself,” is at best ignorant of the Word of God and at worst self-deluded. It is impossible to worship by one’s self on a continual basis. Our new status as a people of God compels us to seek community.

We have witnessed this teaching before. In the First Corinthian letter, Paul speaks of us as the Body of Christ. As the Body of Christ, we are gifted so we can invest our gifts in one another. The individual who says he is a Christian, and can yet absent himself from the people of God, is prostituting the gift of God—if he is indeed a Christian. The individual who grows angry over some incident and refusing to be reconciled therefore keeps himself from worship together with other saints, injures not only the people of God but injures himself. His fellowship is marred and he is cheated of intimacy. We are created in the image of God to enjoy intimacy.

Throughout the Word of God, we who are Christians, especially as we are joined in the various churches, are treated as a collective unit. There are no lone wolf Christians to be found in the Bible. Immediately, upon being born from above, the true child of God will seek out fellowship with the people of God.

Consider the account of the conversion of Saul of Tarsus. Saul encountered the risen Christ as he was travelling toward Damascus. Blinded by the light of the Son of God, he is led to Damascus where he fasts and waits for several days. Ananias is obedient to the command of Christ and goes to Saul who is praying. Ananias preaches Christ to the blinded man and we read the following concerning Saul’s response.

Immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he rose and was baptised; and taking food, he was strengthened.

For some days he was with the disciples at Damascus [Acts 9:18, 19].

As soon as possible following his conversion, he was baptised. Baptised, he sought out fellowship with the disciples. This is the pattern throughout the Word of God. Of course, you are quite familiar with the response of those coming to faith at Pentecost. As a means of refreshing your memories, read again the account in Acts 2:41-44. Those who received his word were baptised, and there were added that day about three thousand souls.

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common.

In our text, Paul states that we are members one of another. In order to get along as members one of another, we have received a series of reciprocal commands. The commands, continuing to the end of the chapter, are actually summed up by the following avowals. We must speak the truth. We must be open and honest. We must forgive. The remainder of the message will focus on these instructions, in the hope that we will be encouraged to grow more godly, revealing the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

We Must Speak the Truth — We Christians are the family of God. We who are born from above are His holy people. We are no longer isolated from God or from His people. This is one great reason we unite as a church. Here, we are a family with all the responsibility of family to build one another up. As family, we must work to strengthen one another. One primary means of building one another up in the Faith is through speaking the truth in love. Paul commands, let each of you speak the truth with his neighbour.

Speech is important. Lynda and I enjoy watching a particular genre of television documentaries. We enjoy medical/surgical shows. Perhaps this isn’t surprising if you know our backgrounds in medicine. Some people are shocked to visit us at mealtime and discover that we are watching some detailed surgery as we eat our evening meal.

This past Monday evening we watched a show called Medical Miracles. One of the cases involved transplant of a larynx. The man who received the transplant had his throat crushed by a particularly cruel hoax. Almost twenty-five years ago, whilst riding his motorcycle he ran into a cable strung across the path to catch unsuspecting riders. What struck me was we watched the show was a comment this gentleman made.

He spoke of the importance of the voice. Speaking with a voice synthesiser, he spoke of ordering at a drive-through restaurant. People laugh when they hear the monosyllabic sound. Ordering a pizza by phone is cause for laughter. He caused me to think of the importance of speech for communication. This man said that with the possible exception of eyesight, speech was the most important of all the abilities of an individual. Upon reflection, he just may be correct.

Have you noticed the value assigned to our speech by the Bible? Consider the number of times our speech is mentioned in the Bible. The words speech or words, or the phrases, what you say, whoever says, or you say, occur 361 times in the New Testament. Consider just a few instances when Jesus spoke of our words. I say to you … whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council, and whoever says, “You fool!” will be liable to the hell of fire [Matthew 5:22].

Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned [Matthew 12:32-37].

In Luke 19:22, the nobleman clearly represents the Lord Christ serving in His capacity of Judge of mankind. His condemnation of the slothful servant is dreadful in the extreme. I will condemn you with your own words, you wicked servant.

Our text enjoins us to put away falsehood and to speak the truth with our neighbour. The clear context is that among the people of God, to say nothing of speaking with those outside the Faith, we should be known as a truthful people. It is bad enough that the people of God are from time-to-time exposed as liars in the world, but to lie to one another is something so awful as to be unimaginable. This text is not immediately concerned about filthy speech, foolish talk, or crude joking. Those forms of foul speech will shortly be addressed. What is in view here is verity in speech.

This is nothing less than practical application of the words of the Master as recorded in Matthew 5:37. Let what you say be simply “Yes” or “No”; anything more than this comes from evil. Not that many years past, it was common to say that a man was a good as his word. Often you would hear it said of an individual that his word was his bond. What that means is simply that even among the inhabitants of this world, truthfulness was valued. We don’t hear such statements often in this day, and we are the poorer for that.

Perhaps one becomes angry over some issue with another Christian. Instead of confronting the issue and asking for a resolution, the common response is to absent oneself from the people of God. When, at last the pastor inquires why the individual is absent, he must first invest considerable time dealing with secondary issues. Perhaps the individual doesn’t like the worship team, or some individual within the church isn’t treated as they think he should be, or some action has yet to be taken on a matter…

Permit me to say with a heart of love that I am one individual ministering to over one hundred people. It is impossible to do all that is required in timely fashion. Some things are less important than others, or at least that is my judgement. Moreover, how is it that we are prone to ignore the real issues in the first place? Do we actually think that by ignoring the issue we will keep from hurting another member of the body? Or is it not more likely that we realise that our pique is petty and therefore the issue which actually served to keep us from fellowship was insignificant and inconsequential? We would likely receive a reasonable response if we openly spoke the truth about our concern. We would maintain the unity of the Spirit. Instead, we pout.

If you think that assessment extreme, consider the following scenario. Those who pout and withdraw from fellowship seldom do so quietly. They want to ensure that someone knows they are aggrieved and that the pastor will thus receive their message. When reminded of their importance to the body, pouters will almost inevitably demure that they are nobodies. Usually, I will agree with them, which doesn’t often go over very well. However, even if they are nobodies, they are a part of the Body and the absence of any member still hurts the entire body.

I had the toenails on each of my great toes surgically removed this week. I have never paid particular attention to those toenails before. They are not exceptionally attractive nor have I ever considered them to be particularly practical. Frankly, I never engaged in much contemplation of my toenails—until this week. Let me tell you that I am paying attention to them now. The entire body is effected by their absence! More than anything else, I want to be whole again and cease worrying about my toes! Much the same scenario is played out as people withdraw from the fellowship of the Body instead of obeying the injunction to speak the truth with his neighbour.

We Must be Honest in Labour — The Apostle admonishes the people of God to cease stealing, and we imagine that we can each breathe sighs of relief. We are not thieves. This is obviously meant for others who are known to be sinners, not for decent folk such as us. He ties this closely to the need for doing honest work. Though we are not thieves in the sense that we break into homes or businesses to steal what does not belong to us, I suggest that this admonition may have more application to us than we might think.

There are more ways to steal than seizing what does not belong to us. We can steal time from those who pay us. It is easy to justify. I work hard. So what if I am fifteen minutes late or leave ten minutes early? I work hard while I am at work. When I cheat the time clock, I steal from the one paying my salary. As a pastor, it would be easy to coast at times. However, I am of the conviction that I should work at least as hard as do those to whom I seek to minister. Whereas I may once have taken extra time for myself, I can no longer do so in conscience.

Similarly, it is wrong to take materials for which I did not pay from the workplace. I once built up my home inventory of pencils and paper by taking supplies from work. As a student, I managed to keep myself supplied. I told myself that “everyone did it,” but what I needed to learn was that I do not represent “everyone.” I am a member of the Body of Christ. I represent Christ Jesus the Lord. As a Christian, my actions reflect on each member who shares the Faith with me. Taking materials from work is simply wrong. Christians must cease this practise.

We may steal time and affection from our families. We may become so engaged in pursuits which bring us pleasure that we neglect our spouse or our children. No father should ever be found guilty of spending more time with the guys than with his children. Fathers must be encouraged to invest time in their sons and in their daughters. Recent studies have indicated that daughters who do not have sufficient attention from their fathers are more likely to develop shallow relationships with other men. They are more susceptible to becoming lesbians and they suffer a greater incidence of broken marriages. Fathers need to spend time with their daughters. Of course, dads need to spend time with their sons in doing those things which sons enjoy. In the process, dads will be training their sons to be manly and godly.

Similarly, mothers need to ensure that they are not stealing time from their children. In this present world which assigns value by the size of one’s paycheque, women need to remember that those paycheques will prove a curse if they have sacrificed their children in the process of making themselves feel good about themselves through earning money. What is the value of watching a child’s first steps? What price do you assign to seeing your daughter’s first play? What is the worth of your son’s first ball game? These are such important issues and we can steal from our children.

Husbands need to spend time with their wives and wives need to spend time with their husbands. They should love one another throughout the years of their marriage. Paul was no prude. He understood human need, and yet he spoke clearly on the issue of husbands and wives giving each other their due.

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control [1 Corinthians 7:1-5].

I understand that he is speaking of surrendering to one another in the bedroom. This is akin to the teaching which instructs us as Christians to hold marriage in honour, keeping the marriage bed undefiled [Hebrews 13:4]. However, I suspect that the Apostle has in mind even more than this. He is saying that wives must understand their husbands, taking the time to feel the weariness which accompanies providing and protecting his family. In similar fashion, I suspect that he is speaking to men to take time to hear what their wives are saying and to work at intimacy. Don’t rob one another.

Without doubt, the greatest theft occurring among the people of God is stealing from God. I have never preached from Malachi 3:8-12. There is so much book that it is an impossibility for me to cover it all. However, this passage is still in my Bible.

Will man rob God? Yet you are robbing me. But you say, ‘How have we robbed you?’ In your tithes and contributions. You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing me, the whole nation of you. Bring the full tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the Lord of hosts. Then all nations will call you blessed, for you will be a land of delight, says the Lord of hosts.

God is not a beggar. I refuse to stand before a congregation and plead for money. God can provide, and throughout the years of my service to Him and to His people, He has provided repeatedly and generously. Nevertheless, as a minister of the Gospel I am obligated to remind people that God calls upon His people to worship through bringing a portion of what He has entrusted to them as support for the advance of His Kingdom. With a heart of love which would do you good and not evil, I say that if you are not worshipping through giving of your earnings, you are robbing God.

I will take a moment and speak pointedly to this congregation. The chairman of our Finance Committee stood before us last week and detailed our financial situation. This committee has determined that we require at least $2200 each week to accomplish at a minimum the ministries we say we wish to perform. This means that in a congregation representing fifty-three families, each family would give on average forty-one dollars each week. It means that each member would give twenty-four dollars each week. That amount is too much for some families on fixed incomes. It is a pittance for some families earning much more. If each of us prayerfully sought the mind of the Lord in this business of giving, such discussions would be academic. Are we stealing from God? I pray that this is not the case with any of us!

It is increasingly difficult to do honest work in a society which penalises resourcefulness. Our government takes proportionately more from us as we are successful, thus teaching us that thrift and diligence will not be rewarded. Furthermore, we live in a society which teaches us that sloth will be rewarded. When it is more profitable to live on welfare than it is to work, the clear teaching of the Bible is difficult to fulfil. Such conditions do not change the Word of God. Let [each one] labour, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.

I am sympathetic to those who are in temporary distress. However, as a minister of the Gospel I must urge each Christian to find something to do with his own hands. Two reasons for this encouragement are given in the text. First, each individual needs to feel a sense of accomplishment in his labour. They need to be productive so that they will not become dependent upon others. We need to say to people that eight dollars an hour earned flipping burgers is more honourable than is $2000 a month for doing nothing! Government has trained us to be dependent upon its largesse, and no Christian should be dependent upon government for very long.

A second reason for this admonition is that we each need to share in the contribution to those in need. This speaks of nothing less than sharing in the benevolence of the assembly. Each of us is encouraged by these words to participate. The assistance is readily available when needed, but as much as lies within us, each of us need to be encouraged to participate especially in this one offering.

We Must Forgive — Bitterness… wrath… anger… clamour… slander… such sentiments have no place in the life of Christians. Unfortunately, we each struggle against precisely such feelings. In fact, we think that we will relish the feelings described by them. The subject now before us is greater than time will allow. Consequently, I intend, by God’s mercies, to treat this subject in an upcoming message. For the moment, it should be sufficient to say that these attitudes have no place in the life of a Christian.

Speech which corrupts has no place in the life of the Christian. Should you question what type of speech corrupts, it is any speech which fails to build up a fellow Christian. Speech betraying bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, slander and such sentiments is for certain corrupting speech. Bitterness, or long-standing resentment, has no place in the life of the Christian. This is that spirit which refuses to be reconciled. If you have a conflict with a fellow Christian and you refuse to be reconciled, or you make no attempt at reconciliation, you are in violation of the will of God.

Wrath [qumo;"] refers to anger which flares up quickly. This is that sudden outburst of anger which explodes unexpectedly into flamed. Anger [ojrgh;] in our text speaks of long-lived anger, or anger which has become habitual. Clamour points to raising one’s voice in the midst of an argument. It is the sin of shouting in anger. Slander [blasfhmiva] is insulting language. It is speaking ill of a person, even if the information conveyed is true, when that speech injures the person spoken of. Malice speaks specifically of ill will. This is that speech which wishes misfortune on another.

Instead of feelings which tear down and destroy, God calls us as followers of Christ to be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another. Kindness looks outward, considering what is best for another instead of thinking of one’s own condition. We are to be compassionate toward one another. Above all else, we are to forgive one another. This is a subject which merits a full message in its own right.

We are to forgive because we have been forgiven. To those of us who name the Name of Christ, I call you to account to remember this admonition. Forgiv[e] one another, as God in Christ forgave you. If you are forgiven, you will demonstrate that fact through being forgiving. If you fail to forgive, consider the following sobering thought.

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come, your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

Here is what I find interesting about this model prayer which Jesus provided disciples. Of all the commentary He could have provided, isn’t it interesting that He addressed only one issue—forgiveness? He chose to address one issue only—forgiveness. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses [Matthew 6:9-15].

Let me point you to one other well-known passage of Scripture. It is Luke 6:37, 38. Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you. The blessings you receive are in proportion to the degree that you practise forgiveness. If you have loved ones that are yet unsaved, you might well ask yourself if you are a forgiving person. If you have needs that are yet unmet, you might well ask yourself if you are practising forgiveness.

This is nothing less than the law of personal relationships—that we should treat others as Jesus has treated us. This is our plea to Christians, that we begin to watch out for one another. We do this as we speak the truth with one another, as we practise honesty with one another, as we forgive one another. This is so much more than merely saying words, it is practising these qualities.

You who share our service, I have some Good News for you. You have failed to live a perfect life and you deserve God’s awesome sentence of death. Instead of death, however, God offers life. Where you deserve to be judged and condemned, God shows mercy. Each individual who is a Christian cannot claim to be better than you, nor can he claim that he deserves better than you. God has shown mercy to all people, and the Christian has simply discovered that mercy.

This is the mercy of God. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved… For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” [Romans 10:9-13]. We invite you to discover the mercy and grace of God in Christ the Lord. Amen.

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