A 21st Century Look at the Big Ten Honor your Parents
A 21st Century Look at the Big Ten
THE FAMILY: THE FOUNDATION OF A SOCIETY
3/24/01 and 3/25/01
Exodus 20
12 ¶ "Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Ephesians 6
1 ¶ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 "Honour your father and mother" --which is the first commandment with a promise--
3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
-We looked at the first commandments and they talked about our relationship with God. Now we are looking at the way we are supposed to relate to each other as a community and culture.
-Foundational to this is the FAMILY.
-God didn’t set up a government or a university or anything else to be the foundation for the culture.
-He chose a family.
-Why?
1. A FAMILY SHOULD BE A SAFE PLACE TO GROW UP
-You’ve heard the saying that someone has a face only a mother could love. (I’ve seen that face.)
2Sa 17:8 You know your father and his men; they are fighters, and as fierce as a wild bear robbed of her cubs.
Pr 17:12 ¶ Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than a fool in his folly.
-God has placed a love in mothers and fathers for their children that comes from Him.
-In my lifetime I have begun to see not just fathers abandon their children but mothers.
Proverbs 27:10 GN- “My father and mother may abandon me, but the Lord will take care of me.”
(I said families should be a safe place to grow up.)
-Everyone needs a safe house or a city of refuge.
-We all make mistakes and a family is a place where you can make them around people who love you and don’t abandon you.
2. THE FAMILY SHOULD GIVE US AN ACCURATE PICTURE OF GOD
-God’s desire and plan was that we could understand Him better by looking at family relationships.
-When that happens it makes it easier to understand what God is like and start to comprehend His love for us.
-When that doesn’t happen we can still learn…it just would have been easier.
Ephesians 5
1 ¶ Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children
2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Mt 7:11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Lu 11:13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"
-We should be aware of God’s love by how our parents treated each other.
-We should be willing to accept God’s gifts because of how our parents loved us and sacrificed for us.
-There is so much dysfunction that it usually isn’t the case but when it is…..!
-The family should be the foundation of our understanding about God.
3. THE FAMILY IS A PLACE WHERE YOU ACCEPT HELP AND ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
-You need the help, advise and loving correction that comes from a family situation.
Exodus 18
-Jethro comes with Zipporah and the two kids after Moses sends her away.
-There is speculation that Moses put her away or sent her away. We know they had marital problems.
-Moses is the doer of all things. Jethro gives him some great advice about delegating responsibility and saves Moses some serious heartache.
-Moses listened.
-I have often gone to my parents with situations and advise.
-Ruth honored and supported her mother-in-law. She stayed with her to help and care for her. God blessed her for it. (And she was a bitter woman. she said she was.)
-One of my favorite people in the Bible is Jonathan. He honored and supported his father Saul even though Saul made mistakes.
-Jonathan gave up his right to the throne and made a covenant with David. Yet he also gave his life fighting with his father.
-You should be helped but also help.
-You have responsibilities to your family as long as you live.
HONOR
-Specifically what does it mean and how do we do it?
-Honor means to: PRIZE HIGHLY, TO RESPECT, TO GLORIFY AND EXALT.
-The Bible tells us to honor our parents.
AS A CHILD:
-OBEY, obey your mom and dad.
OBEY, make them very glad.
“Children, obey your parents; this is the right thing to do because God has placed them in authority over you.” Eph. 6:1 LB
“A son who mistreats his father or mother is a public disgrace.” Proverbs 19:26 LB
-I heard someone say that a Japanese mother has the baby strapped to her. She teaches it to honor the elderly. This person said they had never seen a Japanese brat.
-Usually we make brats by getting them everything they want. We should be generous but you can overindulge. I’ve done it.
-Be simple, honest, and consistent with your kids.
-Spank them when they need it. Love them all the time and make sure they know it.
AS A YOUNG PERSON:
-APPRECIATION and ACCEPTANCE.
-It costs about $250,000 per child to raise them.
-They are not the enemy. It seems like it sometimes but the truth is, they are the best friends you’ve got.
“Listen to your father who gave you your life and do not despise your mother…” Proverbs 23:22 GN
“If you curse your parents, your life will end like a lamp that goes out in the dark.” Proverbs 20:20
-There is a connection with long life and respect for you parents. It may be that if you don’t obey your parents, you have an authority rebellion problem that is magnified everywhere else.
“Be grateful for the good things that the Lord has given you and your family…” Deuteronomy 26:11 GN
‘When your mother is old, show her your appreciation.” Proverbs 23:22 GN
-The key to parenting teens is relationship.
-The more you are there for them without smothering them, the better.
(This is a whole subject. We are going to look at the Joe McGee videos on Wednesday nights soon.)
AS AN ADULT:
1 Timothy 5
1 ¶ Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers,
2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
3 ¶ Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.
4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.
5 The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.
6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives.
7 Give the people these instructions, too, so that no-one may be open to blame.
8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
9 No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband,
10 and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.
11 As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry.
12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge.
13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.
14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
15 Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.
16 If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.
-The context of the Scripture here is how the church should respond to those in need especially widows.
-The responsibility is placed first squarely on the shoulders of family.
-We quote this one about someone not taking care of their wife and children, and they should, the context here is clearly parents.
“They should…put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.” 1 Timothy 5:4 LB
“Anyone who won’t care for his own relatives when they need help, especially his own family, has no right to say he is a Christian. Such a person is worse than the heathen.” 1 Timothy 5:8 LB
-We could go into a lot here about nursing homes or whatever.
-Situations are different in each case. The point is, you are to do all that is in your power to do to care for your parents.
-God said honor your parents, He didn’t say get the government to honor your parents.
-If you do this, you live longer.
-Bumper sticker says: BE NICE TO YOUR CHILDREN, THEY WILL CHOOSE YOUR NURSING HOME.
-Interestingly, one of the last seven things Jesus said on the cross was to tell one of His disciples to take care of His mom.
John 19
25 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.
26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing near by, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son,"
27 and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.
Lastly:
-What if your parents aren’t honorable?
-You don’t have to lie about it. If they weren’t they weren’t.
-You need to go to God and maybe to your parents in some cases.
-Tell them you want to honor what is good in them but you have to confront the thing they did that hurt and still may be hurting you.
-Have mercy on them because you need mercy.
PRAY FOR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS