Become a People Person
Become a People Person
November 27, 2004 and November 28, 2004
John 15 NIV
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other. [1]
Introduction
If we are going to be successful in life there are a few things we must master. One of those things is “people skills”. We are never going to be a light to the world if we can’t develop relationships with people. Jesus told His disciples that He was leaving and He said what every parent says right before leaving their children alone together “DON’T FIGHT”.
If you look at the context of what Jesus is saying He is saying;
· He is leaving
· He is sending the Holy Spirit to help them
· The world hates Him and therefore them
· Love is the cure for what ails the world
· You can only really do it with God’s help
He is saying don’t get diverted from the most important thing because you don’t get along.
This is very important as a Christian to have influence but it is also very important in life. This as much as any other skill determines your future.
Dr. Dean Ornish said this about the power of love and intimacy (in other words “relationships”); “I am not aware of any other factor in medicine-not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery-that has a greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness, and premature death from all causes.”
T.S. Eliot said; “Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They do not mean to due harm. That are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.”
-Jesus was giving us the key to human lives, they want to be loved and treated well. How much did Jesus talk about love and how we treat others? Remember the golden rule?
-If you have been around here long enough you have heard me speak about one of my biggest frustrations. That is when I go into a store and am ignored.
-They even write letters to the editor in Warrenton about how rude the clerks have been. That isn’t always the case. Even in Warrenton there are some very friendly people.
-I have been in stores where the people behind the counter are talking to each other and never said a word to me. Not even a grunt.
-I worked at QuikTrip in Tulsa and they train you. Then they send a mystery shopper around to the stores to test the clerks and give you a bonus depending on how well you do.
-They teach simple stuff like:
(I don’t remember all of it)
· Make eye contact
· Greet the person
· Ask them id they found everything
· Suggestive sell
· Count their change out
· Tell them goodbye
-This is huge, no matter what your job is.
Example
John Maxwell notes statements that people put on job applications.
· “It is best for employers if I don’t work with people.”
· “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my previous employers.”
· “Note: Please don’t misconstrue my fourteen jobs as jobhopping I have never quit a job.”
· References: “None. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”
Example
Eric Harris, one of the Columbine gunmen said this: “The lonely man strikes with absolute rage.”
Example
The Carnegie Technological Institute has stated that 90% of all people who fail in their life's vocation fail because they cannot get along with people.
Lloyd Perry, Getting the Church on Target, Moody, 1977.
-7 out of 10 people who lose their job do so because of a people problem.
What Did Jesus Do? / How Did He Get Along With People? / What Can We Learn From Him?
1. We must really love and care about people.
-Jesus had a crowd wherever He was. Even little children liked Him.
-It must have been obvious to them that He cared about them.
-When someone acts like they care about you it lights your fire.
-Greater love has no man that to lay down his life for a friend. Jesus did that.
-You have to have the correct estimation of:
· Who God is
· Who you are (a healthy self esteem)
· How important people are to God
-If you don’t value people you will use them instead of treat them right.
2 Corinthians 3 KJV
2 Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men:[2]
-We are walking letters that everyone can read. Some of us are post it notes. There isn’t a lot of information available.
2. We Must Relate to People
-We have the whole thing with the red states and the blue states from the election.
-America sent a huge message to Hollywood and the media- “YOU ARE NOT US.”
-That frightens Hollywood because their job is to produce stuff we can relate to.
-I was watching a show about luxury planes and I saw the Miami Heat’s plane. I couldn’t relate.
-Jesus never projected that. He connected with doctors of the law at 12 and fishermen and normal people.
-Don’t try to be elite. Just love people and be normal.
Hebrews 4 NIV
15 /For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. [3] /
Message
/We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.[4]/
Example
C.S. Lewis said; “Friendship is born at the moment one person says to another, ‘What, you too? I thought I was the only one.’”
-Jesus identified with people whether it was the woman at the well or the religious man who snuck to see Him at night.
3. Jesus didn’t see people as interruptions
John 4 NIV
(tell the story)
-It is very interesting that Jesus didn’t see this woman as an interruption.
-He didn’t say “I’m really tired”.
-He got involved in her life even though she was seen in her culture as a nobody. She had been with at least 5 men and was a Samaritan. The Jews looked down on her.
-She was used to being abused, used and taken advantage of. Interestingly she said to her town: “Come see a man…”
-She called Jesus a man. He was interested in her and showed that she was valuable.
-Jesus identified with the outcasts.
-Paul said that we are the “off scouring.” You know what that is….you clean it off of your pots and pans after you cook. But Jesus doesn’t look at people that way.
-There is no better investment than to invest in people.
-There are three kinds of people:
(Credit to John Maxwell’s book)
1. Takers who receive and never give. They are focused on themselves.
2. Traders who receive and then give. Relationships are an exchange to them. They are willing to give but only if they see a return. They keep score.
3. Investors who give and then receive. You still receive. The only difference is your focus.
Luke 6 NIV
27 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 /“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. 37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” [5] /
-This is the principle of sowing and reaping. It works in all areas because it is a law but it is used in the context of “relationships”.
-God loved the world so He gave. He received a return-us. But He sowed, He invested first. He was motivated by love.
-People count with God.
-They need to count with us as well.
-If you love people and learn to treat them well you will be more prosperous, enjoy life more, and influence more people for Jesus Christ.
Statements to be a better people person
1. Have a healthy self-esteem
2. See people as God does-value them
3. Be yourself/don’t compare yourself (If you accomplish something when you are pretending to be yourself people may not like you when you change back.)
4. Don’t be intimidated by others-their money-success-looks etc.
5. Focus on walking in love and compassion
6. Show people you appreciate them
7. Respect each others differences
8. Guard against jealousy
9. Build the people in your life-add value to them
10. Enjoy yourself and others.
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[1]The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (Jn 15:9). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[2]The Holy Bible : King James Version. 1995 (2 Co 3:1). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.
[3]The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (Heb 4:15). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[4]Peterson, E. H. (1995). The message : New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs (Heb 4:1). Colorado Springs, Colo.: NavPress.
[5]The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (Lk 6:37). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.