The Family Covenant
The Family Covenant
2/14/2004 and 2/15/2004
Most of us remember 9/11/2001 when the hijacked passengers on some of the flights began to realize that they probably wouldn’t survive; those with cell phones quietly did the thing that was most important to them. They dialed their family to talk or leave a message. They didn’t say “make sure Billy goes to college” or “don’t forget the dry cleaning.” Without exception they all desperately wanted to say; “I LOVE YOU.”
1. VALUE YOUR FAMILY
Psalm 68
6 God sets the lonely in families, b
he leads forth the prisoners with singing;
/but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. [1]/
Genesis 2
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam g no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs h and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib i he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman, j’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
/25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. [2] /
Hebrews 13
4 /Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.[3] NIV/
4 /Marriage should be honored by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins.[4] NCV/
/Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.[5] Message /
Honor - 5093. τίμιος timios; from 5092; valued, precious:— dear(1), honor(1), precious(8), respected(1), very costly(2).[6]
-One of the first things I talk about in marriage counseling is your esteem and expectations from marriage and family.
-Hillary told us it takes a village to raise a child.
-This very week there are fights going on in America about whether homosexuals should marry. There is an attempt to link it with the civil rights movement of the 60’s.
-The question next will be; why not 3 people? Why can’t I marry my pony? Why not my computer?
-Another major trend we see in this country is people living together without being married because “who needs a piece of paper anyway right?”
-These things are happening because marriage has lost its value.
-It doesn’t have the same esteem to people as it does to God.
-God connects the marriage bed here because sex is meant for marriage.
-Anywhere else causes problems.
-A physical covenant is intended to be established on the wedding night with the flowing a blood.
-A covenant is being made and it involves the two as well as all the fruit of that marriage.
-It is holy and set apart for that reason.
-We used to put water in a container so it would be sanctified or holy for drinking. It was still water and it can be used for flushing the toilet or watering the cats. (also a special tube running to my refrigerator)
-If we mix the water or forget its purpose it just becomes mundane or common.
-Our culture has stopped setting marriage apart in their hearts.
-It has lost its value.
-When Becky and I talked about this is a marriage retreat we used the example of the two hearts that are glued sexually and emotionally to others.
-Then we see couples trying to stick and the glue is used.
-The original language uses the picture of a couple being glued or cemented together.
-Adam and Eve sinned and they felt naked. They tried to cover themselves with leaves but God killed animals and brought them skins. Only blood can cover sin.
-Marriage is a covenant matter. Only blood, the blood of Jesus can remove the sin and make you sticky again.
YOU NEED TO GET STICKY AGAIN!
-God sets the lonely in families.
-The crises of life help you to clarify what is important.
-The book I am reading about Winston Churchill says one of the keys to being a good leader is; FIND YOUR CLEMENTINE.
-In other words, his wife was his close friend and she loved and supported him no matter what.
Prayer to restore our esteem for marriage and family
2. HAVE A GROWING RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS
-Otherwise; we really aren’t going to be able to stand you.
-The only thing that keeps us from being consumed with selfishness is God’s love.
1 John 4
19 aWe love, because He first loved us.
Luke 10
As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”
/ The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”[7] /Message
EXAMPLE
I used to tell a story about a man who came home from a hectic day and just wanted to get some rest and read his paper. His little boy wanted to play so the man spotted a picture of a globe and cut it up. He told his son to put it back together and then they would play. He figured it would take a while so he was surprised when the boy came right back. He asked his son how he did it so quickly and the boy said; “it was easy dad, there was a man on the other side and I just put him together. When you get the man right, the world gets right too.”
-One of the things that we miss with family problems is that techniques have no life or power in themselves.
-The best way to be a better spouse or parent is to radically follow Jesus.
-A growing relationship with Jesus lived out before your family will help them when years later they have to do it themselves in front of their children.
-This “one thing” is essential to every other thing.
-When parents get on fire; kids get on fire.
Deuteronomy 6
4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. a 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
/10 When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. [8]/
-Notice that it has to be in your heart first.
(Value family and have a growing relationship with Jesus)
Prayer for Christians to grow close to God and salvation
3. HAVE A GROWING RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH
-God is a husband and a father to those who need it.
-You and I have a role to play for those among us who are single parents or maybe orphans or widows or widowers.
-You may think you don’t need the church in that way but there may come a time when you do.
-Ask Bill the advantage of having a church family. Ask Donna Sandegrin and others.
“The formation of healthy human friendships provides clues for deciphering “the one thing” that Jesus referenced in His dialogue with Mary and Martha”. Rev magazine March/April 2004
-Jesus developed friendships with His disciples.
-He took them with Him on His most important times like Gethsemane and the mount of transfiguration.
Example
George Gallup Jr. says 4 of 10 people report they have been lonely for a long period of time.
-Be a part of the church family.
-We live in a drive through world where you can do everything on line or from your car.
-We are building a five thousand square foot living room as well as a 2000-2500 square foot game room so people can fellowship.
-Small groups are a major part of our church.
We are going to play that song that reflects our theology for friendships and Biblical small groups (Cheers song)
Relationships are messy.
But they are worth it.
Quote from The Two Towers
-You have a covenant with God; your children are a part of it.
-Family is God’s idea.
-In the Bible we see again and again what is called “the household codes”. It was part of the culture that the Bible was written in and we see Peter and Paul telling families how to get along and cooperate because family is the picture of our relationship with God.
-Like a Father loves a child and like Jesus loves the church.
-God wants us to experience His love through family.
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b Or the desolate in a homeland
[1]The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (Ps 68:6). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
g Or the man
h Or took part of the man~s side
i Or part
j The Hebrew for woman sounds like the Hebrew for man.
[2]The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (Ge 2:18). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[3]The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (Heb 13:4). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
[4]The Holy Bible : New Century Version , containing the Old and New Testaments. 1991 (Heb 13:4). Dallas, TX: Word Bibles.
[5]Peterson, E. H. (1995). The message : New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs (Heb 13:1). Colorado Springs, Colo.: NavPress.
[6]Thomas, R. L. (1998, 1981). New American Standard Hebrew-Aramaic and Greek dictionaries : Updated edition (H8674). Anaheim: Foundation Publications, Inc.
a 1 John 4:10
[7]Peterson, E. H. (1995). The message : New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs (Lk 10:1). Colorado Springs, Colo.: NavPress.
a Or The LORD our God is one LORD; or The LORD is our God, the LORD is one; or The LORD is our God, the LORD alone
[8]The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1996, c1984 (Dt 6:4). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.