An open letter from a dog chasing his tail

I’m writing this down to read so that I might hear as well as you what I am saying and so that we will take in context the whole speech. I want to choose my words carefully so that I might convey clearly as possible the intent of this speech as well as the motivation of my heart. I’ll start there, my heart. The Bible says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings.” () Believing and knowing this passage well, I apply this truth to every thing I say and do even these words just spoken and now read. I spend much time asking God to examine my heart’s motivation concerning North Royalton Baptist Church. When I share with you guys as far as “I” know there is no camouflaged intent and that my words are honest and sincere. They are true with no hidden agenda or secret intent.

“The heart is deceitful above all things,

So with that being said, let me begin, we have a problem (see already I’m questioning my wording because the hearer can’t see the heart behind the words and sometimes the response from the hear baffles me. I am not speaking these words in a harsh or hateful way). Anyways, we have a problem, either I am a bad communicator or you all are bad listeners or I am the bad listener or all three. Or, maybe you just disagree with my assessment of the church and the goal we should be pursuing. If the latter is true then that makes our next executive decision easier. I have been told and agree that my desire for North Royalton Baptist Church is not clear to anyone. So hopefully this letter will make my heart’s desire for North Royalton Baptist Church clearer to all of you.

And desperately wicked;

I am here because I believe God called me here. You know the history of my coming and you know the decision that was made in August of 2011. To be honest, I did not know what I was getting into but believed in my heart (see above) that God wanted me to pastor at NRBC and I still believe He did. You now, know me better and you now know better my “good points” and my “bad points”, my strengths and my weaknesses (I do take comfort in & ) You have had an opportunity to evaluate and make an assessment of me. Therefore with this assessment and as we look to the future of this church, let us all ask, “Is Pastor Steve the right man to lead us where God is leading us?” Again here, I’m not asking this question to see if you like me or don’t like me. I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m not trying to get you feel sorry for me so that you will agree with me. I simply am asking a sincere and honest question that we all must ask.

That leads me to the second part of that question, “Where is God leading this church in the days ahead?” Maybe you aren’t but I’m struggling with my lack of ability (not yours) as a leader to have a clear discernment to answer that question. As the leader (Moses) I should have some solutions that all of us can take confidence in that this is God’s will for us. I’m asking God constantly for that wisdom He promised in:

Who can know it?

James 1:2–7 NKJV

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;

James 1:2-

When I do seem to have some answers and present them here that’s where the problem comes in as I stated at the beginning. So let me share with you what I believe God laid on my heart for us to do at NRBC in 2019. I have used the phrase “Come grow with us.” Is this phrase too vague or general to be understood? Should it be rephrased to make the meaning clearer? Is grow the best word? Is grow used enough times in the Bible? Does the phrase clearly convey the main goal? Should this even be the goal that guides our focus and decision making? All good questions so I’ll try to explain as clearly as possible my thinking behind this phrase and the goal. First what am I thinking when I use the word “grow”. The following list of words is not put in order of importance or exhaustive but are given to help explain the meaning of growing when I use the word “grow”:

Growing means progress. We get better at something or get smarter on a particular subject. We move forward in some way even if its a tiny almost unnoticeable difference. We’re further along in our spiritual progress by the end of 2019 than where we were on January 1, 2019.

To grow we need to learn, to exercise, to pursue. The goal of growing is obviously to produce fruit.

Grow means change. If you are going to make progress than there will be change. No change no growth. You grow older things change both physically and mentally. Change can’t always be seen and the fruit of change cannot always be seen especially at first.

Growing means change. If you are going to make progress there will be change. No change, no growth. We will still be the same ole me. Change will happen making us different. You grow older things change both physically and mentally beyond our control (for the most part). We have no choice in the change it will happen. However, spiritual change doesn’t happen naturally but supernaturally. It’s connected to our relationship with Jesus Christ. It takes a concerted effort by us and a submissive cooperating partnership with the Holy Spirit to make that change possible. Change can hurt (growing pains) but it is necessary and its goal is to bring improvement and to be a benefit to us. () Change can’t always be seen and the fruit of change cannot always be seen especially at first. Finally all change isn’t good and can be harmful so we need to be discerning in the changes we make.

Growing means fruit. Nobody wants to labor in growing corn and not have healthy ears on the stalk. Producing fruit takes a focused effort. It takes working, laboring together, exercise, discipline, ect., ect.

Growing means learning. Leaning the why, where, who, how, and what of growth. Learning from the Scriptures, learning from life’s experiences, and learning from one another.

Growing means leaning. I added this last one because as I was typing above I misspelled learn as lean or maybe spell correct did it, whatever. But the thought that came to my mind was it should be included and maybe is just might be the most important one of all (in my opinion, “Yes it is!”). I won’t give any explanation now but just give two quotes given by Solomon under the direction of the Holy Spirit:

Proverbs 3:5–6 NKJV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 19:21 NKJV

There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand.

So, five of my thoughts about what I am thinking when I say the goal for us in 2019 is “Come grow with us.” Just briefly on the rest of the phrase, I chose the word ‘come” because I believe it gives an invitation for all to join in this goal to grow. I chose the word ‘us’ because i do believe the best way to grow is in community with each other as a family.

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10 I, the Lord, search the heart,

.be able to answer that with confident faith. with wondering if all the men in this room are heading in the same direction? with seeing this church lose members and see the faithful servants get tired and discouraged at seeing no fruit. Many times I feel helpless (not hopeless) in trying to find solutions. I take full responsibility for this church wandering in the wilderness for these last 7 plus years (I guess I am Moses). We’ve made some changes although maybe small. I believe some have been good for us and others up to this point I don’t know. I have seen people leave here and I have seen people come here.

I never want anyone to set aside his opinion to please “Pastor Steve” and to make him feel better about himself. This is not about us, this is about Jesus Christ’s church.

I test the mind,

Even to give every man according to his ways,

According to the fruit of his doings.

The New King James Version. (1982). (). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.