Walk Away

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This is Jack.

He’s our new Australian Shepherd. 7 months old.

We waited until the kids moved out w/ their dog to get our own. We’ve had him about 3 weeks now.

We love Aussies and there’s breeder in Snowflake. We were going to Pinetop to PU some fire wood and it’s on the way so we decided to go check out the puppies.

Don’t even go look at, play w/, talk to puppies if you’re not prepared to bring one home. It’s going to happen.

We could say, “We’re just going to look.” Whatever.

Personality is most important to us.Can’t be too timid or too aggressive.

We made that mistake once. A breeder in IN had one puppy left and when we went to see him he hid under the table the whole time we were there. We thought we could pull him out of that. Huge mistake.

We’re at the breeder’s and several puppies are out. One or two run away at the sight of strangers. Another is bouncing, yipping, nipping going crazy, and then there was Jack.

He came right up to us, ignoring the others. Sweet.

Eye-contact and it was over. Decision made. We had bonded emotionally in about 10 minutes.

Dog greets you, wags it’s tail at you, licks you like you’re his. You immediately feel the emotional attachment.

If you have pets you know what I’m talking about.

Or, don’t go test-driving cars unless you’re prepared to buy one. As soon as you get in one you smell it, feel it, look at it; and it’s so different from the clunker you’ve been driving.

What does your car smell like right now? You hit the gas, what does it sound like? What do you feel?

Any salesman worth his salt knows once you’re emotionally attached you are buying.

Due respect to the realtors in the room.

If you’re not financially prepared to buy and you leave that dealership w/ a contract the debt can overwhelm you.

And, the only way out is to sell the car.

But, your emotions make that hard. You’re attached even though you’re under water financially. And, your pride will take a hit. Admitting the mistake; to your wife, parents, friends. Then, the guilt.

But, if you don’t, in time the trouble is much worse. Deep in debt, the car wears out before the payments do. Now, your car is broke down and you’re just broke.

Walk away.

We had to make the impossible decision to give that puppy up in IN. It broke our hearts but it wasn’t working. He was too timid.

We should have walked away before. We had to walk away later.

This sort of thing happens a lot in affairs.

Not feeling much of a bond at home. Not much support. Life is hard, finances are scarce, bodies change, kids cause stress, the career has peaked short of expectations.

It’s been a while since you felt loved at home.

Then, someone else shows an interest. One thing leads to another. Intimacy. And, a strong emotional bond is formed.

You can’t help but develop a bond w/ someone you are intimate w/.

Even though it’s a fantasy b/c it’s the occasional rendezvous. It’s not life together day after day. But, there’s a strong bond.

Then, you’re confronted by a friend, parent, or pastor.

“Do the right thing.”

What’s the right thing?

What you know is right or what you feel is right?

Adultery is adultery. Morally, it’s always wrong to be intimate w/ someone you’re not married to. In fact, Jesus said it’s wrong to even think about it.

You know this.

But, what do you feel? You don’t feel loved at home. You feel strongly loved by the other one.

This is one of the things that makes reconciliation so hard. You have to walk away and break the strong emotional bond w/ the wrong person and walk back to the right person that you feel no bond w/ at all.

Sometimes the right thing to do will break your heart.

When you feel so strongly about someone, but it’s not right.

And, a mistake is made. Now, you need a do-over.

It’s one thing when it’s w/ a dog, or a car. Other things, other situations are much bigger and much harder.

When you make a mistake and you need a do-over; admit it, apologize for it, and adjust your actions accordingly.

You have to change. W/out the change you’re not really sorry. Maybe sorry you got caught. But, your not sorry for the behavior that got you in trouble.

Walk away. Walk away before you get in trouble. Or, walk away as soon as you realize it will be much more trouble to stay.

Do the right thing no matter how hard it is.

We are in today. Israel had received a huge do-over from God but they were in some trouble again and it’s about to get much worse. That is, unless they can find the strength to do the right thing and walk away.

The first thing they have to do is admit what they had done is wrong.

The Admission

Ezra 10:1–4 NIV

While Ezra was praying and confessing, weeping and throwing himself down before the house of God, a large crowd of Israelites—men, women and children—gathered around him. They too wept bitterly. Then Shekaniah son of Jehiel, one of the descendants of Elam, said to Ezra, “We have been unfaithful to our God by marrying foreign women from the peoples around us. But in spite of this, there is still hope for Israel. Now let us make a covenant before our God to send away all these women and their children, in accordance with the counsel of my lord and of those who fear the commands of our God. Let it be done according to the Law. Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.”

Ezra 10:1-

Ezra is crying out, confessing, admitting what they had done is wrong.

But, he’s not guilty of it. He innocent. But, as a leader in the nation he is responsible and will have to face whatever punishment God brings them.

The leadership is moved by Ezra’s actions. They too realize what so many others have done is wrong.

They acknowledge it. Admit it. And something needed to be done.

Notice, Ezra didn’t have to beat them into submission. God pricked their conscience as they saw and heard Ezra crying out to God.

They took the initiative and acted.

But, they need the guilty parties to join them. The entire nation needs to come to grips w/ the wrongness of what they have chosen to do.

Notice, too, they did not say, “If we’ve offended God...”

“I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Am I not being clear? Are you still confused, if you hurt me. If they hurt God.

Yes they did. Own it. And, they knew God was ticked off.

Yes we did this, and it is wrong.

What’d they do?

I dealt w/ this last week in . But only a few of us were brave enough, or we could dig thru our berms...

The men had married foreign women. Inter married.

It had started w/ the leaders. 2 weeks ago, , the people need to be committed to good teaching, active learning, and obedience to the word. And, leaders need t/b held accountable for the actions.

The leaders were leading the ppl in a bad direction here.

This is absolutely not a racial issue. The color of skin is irrelevant. Every person from the surrounding nations was of the same ethnic background. Shemites.

This was a religious issue. The color of their skin did not matter. The condition of their heart did.

Jewish men married non-believing, non-practicing women of other faiths.

First of all, God commanded them not do this. Just don’t do it. They did it anyway. Blatant disobedience.

What’s the big deal?

Like an ASU fan marrying a U of A fan. Neither one will be as close or as involved w/ their school as they would if they were of the same loyalty.

They will spend less time. Fewer games, less tailgating, less participation.

They will spend less money. Fewer tickets, t-shirts and hats, less donations.

Because the couples loyalty is divided, the individual participation and support is diluted.

Then, the children might even choose to root for Notre Dame. Lost causes.

The same thing happens when a couple’s faith is divided.

Inter-marrying dilutes the faith and the faith practices of the individuals.

Less time. Less money. Less participation. Less support.

In time, the family will have less and less to do w/ what little faith their parents and grandparents may have had.

So, God commanded that they not do it. It charts a course away from God.

And, if the people don’t nip this in the bud, God will.

And, when God does it, it hurts far worse.

It’s always better when we humble ourselves than when God has to humble us.

This is why they believed there was still hope. They could deal w/ it before God had to step in.

This had been going on long enough for some of them to have children. Those who had returned years earlier w/ Zerubbabel to rebuild the temple had time to build families, too.

So, Shekaniah steps up and admits what was going on was wrong. But, they have to get the rank and file on board and to admit it, too.

Change was called for.

Fundamental to repentance is change. W/out the change, there is not repentance.

So, they have to plan a course of action that leads to changed behavior.

The change would be incredibly painful, distasteful. It would cause a bitter division among the people.

To be so blatantly disobedient in the first place indicates a weak or non-existent faith in God anyway. So, how do you get people who could take or leave their involvement w/ God to do something so emotionally drastic?

This is like chemo therapy. You’ve got to kill the bad cells. But, to kill all the bad cells, you’re going to kill a lot of good cells, too.

In fact, chemo might kill the patient.

That’s how serious this was w/ Israel.

It was like there was a cancer in the nation and if they didn’t deal w/ it seriously it would end up killing them.

Well, God will punish them. And if He does it like the exile, the wandering, or the flood, then a lot of them will die. Good people are going to die as God goes after the bad ones.

That’s why Ezra was so upset even though he was innocent. If the Nation was judged by God for their disobedience he’d get caught up in it, too.

That’s why, as a leader, he openly admitted what they had been doing was wrong. And the other leaders joined him.

Now, they had to get the guilty parties to apologize.

The Apology

Ezra 10:9–15 NIV

Within the three days, all the men of Judah and Benjamin had gathered in Jerusalem. And on the twentieth day of the ninth month, all the people were sitting in the square before the house of God, greatly distressed by the occasion and because of the rain. Then Ezra the priest stood up and said to them, “You have been unfaithful; you have married foreign women, adding to Israel’s guilt. Now honor the Lord, the God of your ancestors, and do his will. Separate yourselves from the peoples around you and from your foreign wives.” The whole assembly responded with a loud voice: “You are right! We must do as you say. But there are many people here and it is the rainy season; so we cannot stand outside. Besides, this matter cannot be taken care of in a day or two, because we have sinned greatly in this thing. Let our officials act for the whole assembly. Then let everyone in our towns who has married a foreign woman come at a set time, along with the elders and judges of each town, until the fierce anger of our God in this matter is turned away from us.” Only Jonathan son of Asahel and Jahzeiah son of Tikvah, supported by Meshullam and Shabbethai the Levite, opposed this.

They put out an announcement. The men had 3 days to show up in Jerusalem.

This was the only coercion. If they didn’t show up they’d have to forfeit their land and lose all rights as citizens.

The assumption would have been if they didn’t show up, knowing what was coming they planned to stay married and leave Israel w/ their family and head back to the wife’s land.

The men of Judah and Benjamin. These are the 2 tribes that came back w/ Zerubbabel to rebuild the temple. They are the ones who’d been there for years and had time to start families w/ the foreign wives.

3 days to get there. No extensions. Immediately, from all around the region. That would be a tough thing. Drop everything and come to this meeting.

If it couldn’t get any harder, it was outside during a rainstorm.

But, it was this serious. No excuses for not showing up.

They knew they were in serious trouble. The had known better.

But you can imagine the collective gasp when they heard the plan about what they all had to do to make things right w/ God.

Divorce your wife. Send her and the kids back to her family in their land.

We don’t know how the discussion went, how long or how contentious. But we do know the whole assembly responded that Ezra was right, they were wrong, and they needed to make it right.

More than an admission, this was a full-fledged apology to God.

There was no, “If God was angry.” He was ticked off and they knew it. They needed to do something about it.

They were distressed. Their consciences had been affected. They felt guilty. And it was pouring down rain. And they stood there and took it, admitted their wrong, and promised to make it right.

To get it right and do it right it would take some time.

Just like the meeting, they needed to act quickly. But, they needed to take enough time to do justice to the situation.

It was okay to marry someone who had been a non-believer, as long as they had become a believing and practicing Jew.

So a blanket decree that all marriages to foreign wives should be dissolved would be unjust. Some, certainly, would have become believers along the way.

So they needed to make sure each situation was handled appropriately. God would have been angered if they had forced believing mates to divorce regardless of one’s non-Jewish family background.

Whom, which God did she worship? Only God?

They asked for 3 months. They planned to delegate the responsibility of the interviews and examinations to local authorities.

They owned it, admitted it, apologized for it, and they had a plan to fix it.

All that was left was to follow thru, make the necessary changes and adjustments to their behaviors.

The Adjustment

Ezra 10:16–17 NIV

So the exiles did as was proposed. Ezra the priest selected men who were family heads, one from each family division, and all of them designated by name. On the first day of the tenth month they sat down to investigate the cases, and by the first day of the first month they finished dealing with all the men who had married foreign women.

Ezra 10:

They did it.

No assumptions were made. Every marriage was investigated. Each case handled separately.

The marriages were dissolved.

We can know we need to make a change. And we can even come up w/ a wonderful plan for the change.

But, the follow thru w/ the plan can be daunting.

Like New Year’s resolutions to lose weight, get in shape.

We can know we need the change. Plan the diet. Go to the grocery store and buy the new food on the new menu.

Join the fitness club. Buy the cltothes.

But, then we’ve got to go. Daily. Weeks, Months, the rest of your life.

No more sweets and no more days w/out sweating.

Follow thru. Walk away.

This, in no way is saying God is okay w/ divorce.

Malachi was a contemporary of Ezra and Nehemiah and he wrote that God said He hates divorce.

God hates the action of divorce. He hates the hardness of mates’ hearts that lead to the divorce. And He hates the consequences and outcomes on the kids, finances, and friends after the divorce.

Sara and I are going thru this now w/ some friends in IN who divorced last year.

Which one gets custody of the friends? The whole thing is messed up.

God hates it all.

But, what Israel faced was the long trouble would have been far worse than the immediate trouble of all the divorces.

You can Recover from a divorce. By God’s grace, a divorcee will always be a divorcee but recovery and becoming a healthy individual again and remarrying are all possible.

Still a divorcee and the wounds will have scarred over.

In that sense recovery is possible.

But, had they stayed married, over generations of continued dilution of the faith and faith practices, eventually, no one would believe in God.

Their faith would have become so diluted that it would be non-existent.

And, there is no recovery w/in the context of unbelief.

The recovery is to change the paradigm. Believe.

But, in the context of unbelief, there is no recovery.

You can be a divorcee and recover. You cannot be an unbeliever and recover.

God won’t save anyone who does not believe in Him.

Make the choice between 2 bad options. One is awful. The other is worse.

And they did.

And, buy all acounts Israel recovered for a time.

This is the end of Ezra. When we pick it up it will be in .

So, you go to the doctor and say, “Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I do this.”

His reply: “Then, don’t do that.”

If you’ve broken a bone, you can’t passively treat it and expect it to heal and work right again.

The doctor is going to have to hurt you to help you. But, the bone gets set, heals, and it will be as good as new.

We have got to work at making as few bad decisions as possible in our lives. But, when we make one, as soon as we realize the mistake we’ve made, we’ve got to correct it before it gets worse.

Walk away. Walk away before you get in trouble. Or, walk away as soon as you realize it will be much more trouble to stay.

Do the right thing no matter how hard it is.

Application

God built this into His system.

Repentance and forgiveness.

He does not expect us to be perfect. In fact, He knows we won’t be.

That’s why Jesus came and died on the cross.

If you’re a believer, every sin you will ever commit has already been forgiven.

God has already forgiven you.

But, there may be someone in your life who hasn’t yet and they need something from you.

It could be a small thing or a huge thing.

It just needs t/b dealt w/.

Repentance is a 3-step process.

Admit it

Admit what you did was wrong and hurtful.

Not, “IF” you hurt them.

Just own it.

Apologize for it

I’m sorry for doing this...

Not, I’m sorry, but…Just I’m sorry.

Adjust your actions

Make a change. Stop doing it. Start doing it right.

W/out the change you’re not really sorry you did it.

You’re probably just sorry you got caught.

Make the plan. Follow thru. Do it.

Walk away.

It’s by God’s mercy that He doesn’t destroy us the first time we mess up. He’d be justified to do so.

He doesn’t punish us as bad as we deserve.

And, it’s by God’s grace that we are forgiven and blessed as if we never messed up at all; or given a do-over at all; the opportunity at a 2nd chance.

And, as those people around us experience this grace then they can administer the same grace and we get do-overs w/ them.

God may give us a do-over, but if you hurt someone bad enough you may burn your last chance w/ them.

Walk away before you get into trouble.

If you didn’t, once your realize how much trouble you’re in, walk away before it gets worse.

Do the right thing no matter how hard it is to do.

Communion

Go thru this process w/ God.

Ask if there is someone in your life you need to go thru this process w/, too.

Then, come and participate.