The Role of a Husband

Introduction

This morning I am heading back to a familiar topic but one we must always consider and hold close to our hearts.

The topic is marriage… but not just any marriage, a Christian marriage.

Now why do I make that distinction? Because we are called to be different in every way, especially in our marriages.

Sadly, it doesn’t always work out, sadly it doesn’t always end that way. One of the saddest statistics is that almost as many Christian homes end in divorce as do non Christian homes.

I can tell you right now… it ought not be that way.

Now I know there are things that happen that are beyond the control of a person. A person who does not want their marriage to end, but it is out of their hands. But that is rare I think these days...

I am thinking about

I think to often homes begin and end and Christ has never been the center of that home.

You want a home to last, to endure, to be a testimony to children in the days to come, then let Christ be the center of the home.

So this morning I want to take us on a journey, one considering the topic of marriage, and more especially, the role of husbands...

So this morning lets turn to the New Testament book of Ephesians, chapter 5 verses 25-33.

Ephesians 5:25–33 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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A dynamic and awesome passage.... Now if you look at the hole passage you will notice that what Paul says addressing men, is much larger than him speaking about wives...

Why is that.... Honestly, men are a bit slower on the uptake… we need a little extra help. Now that was for the benefit of all the wives today. You can thank me later.

But this morning I want to share a few thoughts with you about Marriage and the role of the husband in that marriage relationship...

So lets begin.... 3 thoughts today… and lets begin with this one important consideration.

1. Marriage is God’s Institution…

We must never forget that marriage is God’s institution, not ours! As such it is a holy institution.

Have you ever thought of that? Marriage is a holy institution.....

God created it, He put the first couple together and gave them care to love each other… and if Marriage is God’s institution, how dare we treat it any less that Holy.

Since it is holy, we are to treat marriage as something special, wonderful, sacred.

It is the role of one man and one woman joined together in faithfulness, love and harmony.

In fact Paul echos God’s intent toward the end of this passage.... Look with me at verse 31

Ephesians 5:31 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

This verse is a quote from the Book of Genesis as God put the first couple together, man and woman. a husband would leave all to marry her, to bless her to become one flesh.

Adam was to take Eve and hold to her and her alone. For all time!

It is a beautiful institution…But… What God portrays in Genesis chapter 2, and again here in Ephesians chapter 5 is a glorious illusion to Christ and His church.

You see in Scripture the church is referred to as the “bride of Christ” Just as Christ left the Father to come to earth to redeem us to Himself, Jesus came that He might sanctify his bride. Christ has redeemed us and made us His own.

So husbands you are to take your wife for the noble purpose of blessing her, loving her and yes giving yourself for her. We will talk a little more about this in a minute.

But understand that marriage isn’t man’s tool, it is God’s. In the state of Holy matrimony, a husband and wife join themselves together in a loving covenant relationship.

Now I point that out to you today that marriage is not contractual. It is a covenant relationship modeled after God’s own love for us.

A covenant relationship says I will always love you.

Covenant Marriage: Building Communication & Intimacy Chapter Three: Covenant Marriages—Dream or Reality?

• Covenant marriages require unconditional promises.

• Covenant marriages are based on steadfast love.

• Covenant marriages view commitments as permanent.

• Covenant marriages require confronting and forgiving.

Covenant Marriage: Building Communication & Intimacy Chapter Three: Covenant Marriages—Dream or Reality?

• Covenant marriages are initiated for the benefit of one’s spouse.

• Covenant marriages require unconditional promises.

• Covenant marriages are based on steadfast love.

• Covenant marriages view commitments as permanent.

• Covenant marriages require confronting and forgiving.

So we understand that a covenant marriage doesn’t promise sweet un-hindered bless … hardships come, people struggle in relationships at times… but in the difficult times a marriage endures for the greater picture of being the very thing God has called that couple to be....

Doesn’t promise sweet un-hindered bless … hardships come, people struggle in relationships at times… but in the difficult times a marriage endures for the greater picture of being the very thing God has called that couple to be....

So I think we would all agree that a marriage is God’s institution, one man and one woman… Adam and Eve and that model is to endure today!

And no matter what the world says or does, God’s standard for true marriage will always stand.

Now… let move on to my second thought for today....

2. Let Christ Rule in Your Hearts.....

Consider this… a covenant marriage is truly only possible if we allow Christ’s rule in our hearts.

Now why do I say that.... truthfully, Christ must be Lord of your life, in every area… this truth is a must for a biblical marriage.

Christ rule in your hearts keeps us in line if you will… Marci tells me all the time to “be good” its hard… Christ’s rule in my heart is what makes it possible.

Lets go back to and lets examine verse 1-2

Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Look right there, be imitators of God, as beloved children.

Do you remember being a child and wanting to be just like one of your parents. You wanted to imitate them.... it was a precious to your parents, it warmed their hearts.

God wants, desires, and honestly expects us to act like Him in this life. One of our early church fathers, John Chrysostom says “having been adopted, you are called to be like God.” This can only happen if you are reconciled to Him.

So the day I asked Jesus into my heart began my journey of allowing Jesus to overtake, fill and change this life in the hopes that I could be like Jesus.

Now if you follow along with Paul is saying here.... Do it, in fact you have reason to do this… Here is your motivation… We are forgiven!

says

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

As such, act like Christ… Act and love like Jesus does I john 4:19 says

1 John 4:19 ESV

19 We love because he first loved us.

You see my friends, I can only be my best if Jesus is ruling my heart. And this spills over to every area of life

We love, we act, we do… because He first loves us!

Paul tells us this...

Ephesians 4:1 ESV

1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,

Let Christ in you, be seen and manifest is all that you do.....

And this brings me to my last thought for the day...

All that we have talked about today, all of this moves us to understand the role of a husband in our homes....

3. Husbands Love Sacrificially....

This truth I believe is the core of our duty as a man of God, it is to love and act as Jesus did, sacrificially....

Consider that word, sacrificially… what does it mean? It means to give up at a cost to oneself…

Jesus gave his life as a sacrifice… He acted sacrificially on our behalf, He laid down his life as a ransom for sin. Taking upon himself our sin, taking our punishment and our death so that we might have life....

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He gave, he loved us at the Sacrifice of himself.

Now consider the role of parents...

As parents we sacrifice, we put our children's needs above our own....We give to them to help them and bless them… but that example is not perfect...

And as a spouse, in particular we are called to be love and act as Jesus did, sacrifically.

Lets go back to our text.... verses 25-30

Ephesians 5:25–30 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.

So husbands we are called to love our wives exactly as Christ loved the church… us and gave himself up for her.

So there is a high standard to love my friends, we are to love our wives, our spouses with a love that gives to the end.

I think of the story of a older couple, the wife had Alzheimers, she was in the nursing home, she didn’t know anyone… and yet everyday the husband came to see her to visit her. he loved her.

One day a person said, why do you come every day, she doesn’t remember you., she doesn’t know you.... His reply was wonderful.. “But, I still remember!”

This husband loved his wife with a sacrificial that said no matter what, I love you more than anything else. He loved her no matter their place or state in life.

And so the example is set before us my friends...

We are called to love our wives, in the same way Jesus loved the church..us.. with a sacrificial love.

A sacrificial love knows no boundraires

a sacrificial love knows no limits

A sacrificial love is faithful and true

A sacrificial love always puts the other ahead of themselves.

As sacrificial love loves like Jesus did.... he gave himself as a ransom for sin.

Husbands we are called to lay our lives down for wives, for our families… To put self last in all things...

We are to love as we love ourselves..... Now let me stop there and say this… if you have a low opinion of yourself, if you think you are not worthy, not good enough in life… you cannot love your spouse in the best way possible.

You must Master your identity in Christ to love yourself, and thus to love your wife better...

So who are you in Christ?

We are a New Creation -

We are alive -

We are made into His image -

We are a son of God -

We are His children and more than conquerors in Christ -

Our identify in Christ is the very tool that encourages us, helps us, strengthens us so that we can be our best in His Kingdom and to those that we love.

IN that way…I can love my wife fully, freely ina way that Jesus approves us.

I can only be my best to her if I am my best to Jesus....

Husbands we are called to love our wives as Jesus loved the church… high expectation....

Men I want to challenge you to ask the Lord to help you make this year different, more than ever before.

Be your best in ever area, seek Christ in all things and be His servant

So we give to bless them.

Ephesians 5 ESV

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. 5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not become partners with them; 8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” 15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

ephesians 5