Forgiveness
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Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother,
To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker—also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier—and to the church that meets in your home:
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.
Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus—that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.
I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary. Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever—no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self. I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.
And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.
Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
How easy is it for you to forgive someone for doing wrong to you?
How easy is it for you to ask for forgiveness when you have wronged someone?
For most of us this is one of the hardest things we have to do in life, because it deals personally with you.
Looking at scripture we see a two way relationship.
Paul converted Philemon at Ephesus, and a strong friendship grew.
Paul converted Onesimus at Rome, and a strong friendship developed.
But because of the situation with Philemon and Onesimus, Paul was the one that had to bring harmony back to this relationship.
We do not see the conversation between Paul and Onesimus, but from scripture we can see that Paul was able to persuade him that going back to Philemon was the right thing to do.
From this letter we see a few examples on how Paul was going to restore this broken relationship between the two men.
First, start with love
I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.
Paul begin this restoration with showing Philemon how much he meant to him.
Reminding him the joy and faith he see’s in Philemon.
Reminds him how the saints have been refreshed through Philemon’s love for the people.
When it comes to our broken relationships we are striving to restore, you must remind them of the love and friendship that you had.
Remind them of what brought you to that person in the first place. How much you have loved the growth of that relationship.
Second, Apoligize or make a plea for forgivness
Paul had the authority in Christ and from the church to command Philemon to do what was right.
But he knew that it would not be from Philemon’s heart and his attitude would reflect that.
What Paul does is make a plea on behave of Onesimus.
Paul shares how much Onesimus means to him, and what all he had done for him. How he became a brother to Paul during this time.
Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus—that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.
I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary. Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever—no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
The same attitude must come from us on behave on our relationship with the one conflict has occured.
Third, take the burden
Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
Be willing to take the burden of that broken relationship on yourself.
Make a plea to seek forgiveness. Be willing to take the burden of that broken relationship on yourself.
Sometimes in order to restore a relationship you must step up and do what you know is right, even if it places all fault on you.
So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self. I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.
Third,
Church, we must be willing to restore our relationship with the one it is broken with at our cost.
Sometimes it may cost us our pride, arrogance, or our stubborness. But giving these up for the cost of love is worth it all.
Matthew 5:
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Paul knew that no matter what he done, ultimatly it was up to Philemon and Onesimus to restore this relationship.
Our goal should be to restore our relationship, but also know that it comes down to the other person to accept or deny.
If they deny, then you have been obedient to the calling that has been given to us.