Sermon Tone Analysis

Faithful Friendship - 1 Samuel 20

PRAY

I had some friendships in my youth that didn’t yield anything positive.

In fact, I recall one particular year of my life at boarding school, 7th grade, where two specific “friendships” led to nothing good.

In fact, they drew me away from God and toward earthly pleasures and pursuits.

One was a guy friend and one was a girl friend (unfortunately, yes, I would have called her that too).

By God’s grace, one of those was broken off by separation at the end of the school year, and once I had my head out of that one, I was able to see the harm of the other.

(To my knowledge, still to this day these two individuals are not doing well at pursuing or serving God.)

But by being distant from them the following year, the Lord allowed me to develop better points of focus and better relationships.

I began seeking God and seeking to be the kind of friend and leader that I ought to be for Him.

I’m deeply thankful to the Lord that, through my high school years and especially in adulthood, I’ve actually had much better friendships with MUCH better results.

Fun fact: Just another year after that regrettable 7th grade year, at the start of hight school I began investing in another friendship with a sweet girl named Clara who demonstrated a love for Jesus and a concern for my best interest… and the rest is history.

:-)

We really ought to think about our close relationships this way: It is no real friendship which fails to lead us to God.

A true friend is one who makes you a more godly man/woman/boy/girl by being around him/her.

Such are the kind of friends we need and the kind of friends we want to be.

And it is a biblical point of fact that Jesus sets the highest example of the ideal friend:

Not only did Jesus literally give his life in order that we may have spiritual life through faith in Him, he did so at our point of greatest need.

(God proves his love for us: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us, Rom.

5:8)

In our text for today, we find a David who is in distress and desperate for some help.

Recognizing his desperate need, David goes where he will be heard and helped, where he’ll receive sympathy and support, where his faith will be held accountable and increased.

He goes to Jonathan, with whom he has a true friendship of covenant commitment.

Interestingly, in order to get that help, he has to draw closer to the danger in order to get help from a close (if not his closest) friend.

David is fleeing for his very life from Saul, but to seek out Jonathan, he must risk leaving Samuel’s side at Ramah and return to Gibeah to find Jonathan.

David comes to Jonathan seeking answers and assistance.

- His hope and trust in his friend is not misguided.

Jonathan is a faithful friend.

Consider with me today the value of faithful friendship, of covenant commitment.

A godly, faithful friend can be trusted… (vv.

1-17)

(which David believes Jonathan is, and Jonathan proves himself to be)

to listen well and sympathize.

See, Jonathan doesn’t understand David’s concern at first bc he thinks his dad would have told him (He doesn’t keep anything from me, v. 2).

BUT, he listens well enough to his friend to genuinely HEAR his distress and to consider carefully what David is saying (there is but a step between me and death, v. 3).

It’s a running joke in my family-at-large that if you try talking to me about something while I’m focused another thing, you can guarantee I’m not listening.

If you don’t ensure that you have my full attention, you don’t have any of it.

— But how much worse if we are supposed to be listening well and sympathizing with someone when we are actually selfishly 1. daydreaming, 2. planning our answer, or 3. planning our escape?

By contrast, how many times in the public ministry of Jesus do we see him asking probing questions or telling stories that get right to the heart of those he’s dealing with?

Why?

Not simply because he’s God incarnate, but because he was a sympathetic listener who desired to hear them and help them.

Like Jonathan does for David, a godly friend can be trusted to listen well and sympathize.

to take a concern seriously and be supportive.

Even without perhaps fully grasping yet what David is describing, Jonathan says essentially, “I’ll do whatever you ask, friend.”

(v.

4)

This means we have to try really hard in our friendships and familial relationships to not make something out to be easy or unimportant when we don’t feel the full weight of it ourselves… and to not make light of or make jokes about things that matter more to someone else.

A better response: Help me understand.

Explain it to me.

What can I do to help?

How can I serve you?

That sincere offer of help allows David to hatch a little plan for allowing Jonathan to find out Saul’s real intentions with regard to David.

(the new moon feast)

to keep a friend accountable.

(help them check for godly motives and priorities)

Now, in the text, David is the one who initiates accountability, v. 8.

He expresses himself humbly with respect to Jonathan as the prince, requesting his kindness and reminding him of the previous covenant commitment of friendship and loyalty to one another.

- And this accountability here goes both directions.

While David reminds Jonathan of his previous covenant, he also offers himself accountable to Jonathan.

[the 2nd half of verse 8 as a followup to the 2nd half of v. 1]

Jonathan confirms that David has shown no guilt in the matter: “Far be it from you!” Then he reaffirms his own commitment as well: Hey, if I knew dad were after you I would surely warn you!

Listening well and being supportive are important, but that isn’t enough by itself.

We must listen well with a genuine concern for the friend’s highest good.

So accountability in fact proves our commitment to them and our highest allegiance to God.

A few simple thoughts on giving accountability in relationships:

Love desires to believe the best of the other… (and to not keep record of wrongs, etc. 1 Cor.

13)

But is NOT blind to their failings.

In FACT, a godly friend is faithful enough to hold another accountable.

What about being receptive to accountability?

Hear these verses:

A godly friend can be trusted to keep another accountable.

AND…

to take ownership of a friend’s cause.

From this point in the text forward, Jonathan is the one who takes the lead.

(in answer to David’s question in v. 10)

Talk is cheap, but sacrificial service is costly.

We know our true friends by the lengths to which they will go to seek our highest good for God’s glory.

Again, Jesus is the supreme example.

(He came “not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many,” Mk 10:45.)

Jesus told his disciples, in the very next verse from the one mentioned earlier, in John 15:14

From the context we see that he is telling them that they should love one another as he has loved them (vv.

12&17) [below]

Jesus gives two other explanatory factors: 1.

He calls them friends instead of servants bc he has invited them in to know all of the Father’s business, his plans and intentions.

Not to simply be told what to do, but to have the privilege of understanding the “why” behind all things.

So we can take full ownership bc we are “in the know.” 2. “You didn’t choose me, but I chose you” means that you couldn’t “earn” this friendship to start with any more than you can “merit” it now, but with the privilege comes the responsibility to bear fruit (the fruit of loving one another like I love).

And that fruit is also not accomplished in your strength but through prayerfully abiding in him, which is the context of the early verses of ch. 15.

Abiding is what brings about true fruit (v.

4), and it is such fruit which proves that you belong to the Father (v.

17).

This NT instruction from Jesus is perfect application of Jonathan’s godly, faithful friendship in our text today: To love Jesus as a true friend is to take up his cause, which is to sacrificially love one another as he has loved us who are his chosen ones.

So we are to love God’s chosen ones as true friends.

to keep and increase covenant commitment.

vv.

12-13 - First Jonathan offers reassurance of his commitment to seeking David’s best interest.

(Sometimes I need to remind MYSELF that my goal is the good of another!)

Jonathan and David have already covenanted their loyalty to one another, but here Jonathan initiates a more full and deeper covenant commitment between them.

(vv.

14-15) Now the covenant extends to their “houses,” their posterity.

A covenant is more than just a “hey, let’s be friends.

ok, cool.” - “Thus a covenant relationship is not merely a mutual acquaintance but a commitment to responsibility and action.

A key word in Scripture to describe that commitment is “faithfulness,” acted out in a context of abiding friendship.” - Elwell, W. A., & Beitzel, B. J. (1988).

Covenant.

In Baker encyclopedia of the Bible (Vol. 1, p. 531).

Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.