Navigating Conflict (DCAT 2019)

Introduction:

Without Conflict there can be no Breakthrough

1. Make Prayer my first response, not my last resort

Philippians 4:6–7 NLT

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6 NLT

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Philippians 4:6–8 NLT

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Explain:

We don’t need to approach situations from the place of fear or anxie

It’s difficult to be angry w/ people when I’m praying for them

Philippians 4:6-8

Story:

So what?

Let the Pressure lead to Prayer

Speak Hope not Doom

:

If you are being con

If you are confronting, speaking hope will help deal with shame, defensiveness

2. Listening is difficult when I am already defending

James 1:19 NLT

19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

Explain:

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Story: Me and Tarah’s Monthly Check In’s

So What? - Listen

The Confronted: Don’t speak initially. Don’t defend.

The Confronter: Listen for the response (even if you don’t like it)

3. Conflict is rarely just one person’s fault

Own it

1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT

13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

:

Explain:

Temptation is a common struggle across the board

In conflcit you will be tempted to blame, to accuse to defend

“The way out...” is death to self

Story:

So What? - Own it

Own your emotions and response, Ask, “Why do I feel like this?”

The Confronted: Why am I so defensive when this issue is brought up?

The Confronter: Why does this ‘thing’ that ‘person’ said/did make me feel like this?

4. Stop talking about them and start talking to them

3. Go Direct: Stop talking about them and start talking to them

When someone has something against me...

Matthew 5:24 NLT

24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

Matthew 5:23–24 NLT

23 “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

When I have something against someone...

Matthew 18:15–16 NLT

15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.

Matthew 18

Explain:

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Story: Too much time and too little Specifics

Over a year of frustration w/ no direct conversation…so no solution

No specific issue brought up (just general)…so no solution

So what?

Go Direct

Explain don’t Blame

Be specific

Confronter: About what’s bothering you

The Confronted: about the context of the specific issue

Tell them you want things to get better

Tell them you want things to get better

Be Specific

Tell them you want things to get better