Faith Produces Faithfulness

How’s your Marriage?

God places a premium on fidelity, faithfulness

Not married? Are you a Christian? If so, you are part of the bride.

READ:

Ties in with end of chapter 3, related to wisdom

“...but, there are issues with your quest for wisdom”

FACTORS of a VIBRANT MARRIAGE

1) Consider your Motives

In a healthy marriage, yo do not see yourself as better than the other

(Might get married for “you,” but to stay married, you have to be in it for “not you.” - Bible = selfless

Evaluate relationship - what wisdom are you following?

James: willing to do ANYthing to get what we want. So, what do we want?

Maybe not kill, or physically fight (though, contextually, this was their culture)

But, we’ll turn to bitterness, we will envy, and that might come out in our use of the tongue (REM)

Quarrels common, especially in churches, we need to ask why we have disagreements, if we do

Think about who knows you best.

Your spouse? Realize how much ammunition he/she has to really hurt you. One who knows you intimately

Reason people afraid of intimacy

GOD KNOWS IT ALL, and instead of hurt, He wraps you in healing

HE CREATED YOU, in HIS IMAGE, He has a vested interest in your care

Asking for wrong reasons, or in wrong way

Truth? we ask for selfish reasons, when we actually DO ask (as in when we decide to pray, as last resort)

GOD OFFERS good gifts

Instead of receiving, and reflecting His glory, we choose to go it on our own, self-glory, elevate our selves (our ultimate idol)

HE OFFERS HIS WIDSOM, HIS GIFTS

24/7 - but we say “I’ll take 10:00 - 11:00 Sundays, no more please, maybe even every Sunday, that is, unless something more important comes up.”

GOD demands your worship, but you’re too worried thinking about yourself to think about Him.

You pray as an afterthought

You pray when all of a sudden something comes up that affects YOU

Then, when He answers, you forget Him, showing it WAS all about you to begin and end with.

2) Consider your Priorities

Prayer as an afterthought

You make decisions, than THEN pray; your mind is already made up

We expect God to accept that kind of relationship/prayer?

ADULTRESSES - Friend of the World (key definition)

Simply put, “friend of the world” = “SELFISH” (rejecting His good gifts)

rejecting His good gifts

HOSTILITY toward God (Solomon took gifts and used them for his own selfish pleasure, lots of it)

Selfishness is trusting in the world’s system, which caters to our very selfish selves

Define “friend” - then vs now

Female word used here - appropriately

OT - God uses imagery of being married to His people, it was a sacred covenant - broken by them

NT - Bride of Christ - we are compared to an unfaithful bride, all of us

REM - WISDOM IN PLAY

World’s - selfish

God’s - He will “gift” you the right desires, just ASK

Psalm 37:4 NASB95

Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.

SIN AFFECTS OUR PRAYER LIFE

OT - “don’t even pray” (, , )

How do we pray “wrong?”

Lack of love, pride, lack of faith, family discord, bitterness, too busy and only worried about myself

When ANYTHING other than God is #1, we are idolaters

And without Him, we are at the mercy of our own desires/lusts

And then sin takes you farther and costs you more

Our relationship with God is destroyed when we do not ask for, and yield to, His widom

PRAY THIS: “God, tell me what to desire - please”

3) Consider your Focus - Where does God’s Grace fit in your life? (“But God”)

Purpose of Marriage? Ever considered that?

Picture of our relationship with God. (, )

Husbands - love wives

(Christ as ‘husband’ loved the church, gave Himself for it)

Wives - submit to husbands

(Christ submitted to the Father)

So does the Bride of Christ!

Verse 5 here

God gave them tongues/speech, and they used them to curse

God gave them opportunity for humility and peace, and they relied on short-term fixes of worldly wisdom

READ, for example

Psalm 20:7 NASB95

Some boast in chariots and some in horses, But we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God.

CREATED for a PURPOSE - What does God want from me?

a. to fellowship with Him

b. to point to His glory, like creation does,

c. to do justice, love kindness, walk humbly WITH GOD

Micah 6:8 NASB95

He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?

Verse 5

God’s desire is to transform your perishing spiritual life

“spirit” here is the life He gives us, not Holy Spirit

God is JEALOUS ()

WE desire to please ourselves, He desires our life to be one of giving up our self, to follow Him. NO double-minded

GOD lays claim to your life

He created (humans unique in breath of life from God)

He made us creative

He expects loyalty to Him, based on His actions toward us

SO HE SAYS:

“STOP FLIRTING WITH THE WORLD”

Oh, you might not kill, or physically harm

Oh, you might not actually get caught in adultery

Oh, you might only give sin that “first look”

As God told Cain, before he killed Abel, you must master the desire for sin, because it will destroy (Selfish pride at the root)

Destroys you? Destroys voice of the Gospel!

Destroys your reflection of God’s glory

OK, So what do we do?

Look to God, to His Word, “antidote” to the problem of verse 5

HUMANS - God breathed life into us

WORD - God-breathed

He wants us to be transformed by His Word!

Impossible if you are not willing to be in it, and be around others who want to soak it in and grow.

“BUT GOD”

Define “friend” - then vs now

Today - very casual, Facebook-ish, used loosely

Then - shared all things, very intimate, loved at all times

Good friends mimic one another

Q: Are you a friend of the world?

If so, God is your enemy, mutual hostility!

Friend of world, per James: discriminate, neg speech, envy, selfish, destructive pleasures - enemy of God

CLOSE

GOD TOLERATES NO RIVAL

BUT…GOD GIVES GRACE

Expects us to embrace it, use it

Expects us to let it define us

Expects it to transform our lives

FRIEND OF GOD

Today - casual term, one of convenience, nice bumper sticker or “Facebook” post

We desire God when there is nothing else to do - ADULTERY

SHOULD BE - intimate relationship, covering ALL things, share secrets, trust fully

Be a friend - stick up for Him once

HAVE THE REAL REALTIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW WELL AND WHO KNOWS YOU COMPLETELY, AND STILL LOVES YOU!

MARRIAGE

Your spouse should be your second-best friend

Best thing, passionately love Christ above all else)

If spouse is more important than God - fix that (more next week)

POINT - Our relationships work (as James is implying here with bringing up quarrels), we get through this world and people see God’s glory through us, by trusting in God’s closeness

COMMUNION - GREAT SEGUE

Linked with fellowship meal, agape feast