Lacking Eternal Purpose

Nina was an accomplished geneticist, at age 28 she had all the successes one might expect in life. Her life in Santa Clara, California allowed her to experience an amazing array of diverse cultures and peoples. Her career was in a growing field that seemed to know no limits. By most standards she made an exceptional income, and her job was filled with travel, something she relished.

Her social media sites boasted thousands of followers, consistent with her magnetic and bubbly personality. People were simply attracted to Nina. She was intelligent, charming, and beautiful inside and out. She was just as comfortable sitting on a tropical beach soaking in the sun as she was in working in a lab with a team of bio-engineers designing medications to save of lives.

She was an only child, raised by her Dad, himself a medical scientist. Her Mom had passed away in a car accident when she was only two and her Dad never remarried. She followed her Dad’s passion for bio-science. They would often engage in long talks and about life, science, travel and food. She loved to cook and enjoyed creating dishes she experienced from her travels around the globe.

Her

One day when she failed to arrive at work at her usual time, her co-workers immediately sensed something was amiss as Nina was never one to simply not show up without contacting someone. Her lab manager’s concern grew when calls to Nina’s cell phone went unanswered. This was so out of character that Nina’s manager immediately called the local police department and requested a wellness check. Upon arriving at her home, two police officers observed that Nina’s car was still parked in her designated parking stall of her condominium. After repeated knocks on her front door, the officers walked around the building and peaked into the windows; that’s when they saw her. They broke into the unit and found Nina on her bed, fully dressed. It was quickly determined that she was deceased.

An empty medication bottle and a note were found on her bedside stand. In her note she apologized to her Dad and told him that she was going to be with Mom. She went on to describe the fact that while she had everything in life, more than almost anyone in the world could ever hope to have she was alone. Not only did she have all the possessions one might ever desire, she was in the best of health, all her needs were met. She shared in her note that there was no single event that led her to her decision to take her own life, rather she expressed that despite all of her followers on her social networks, and all the pleasure she took from her job, she felt lonely and without purpose. She saw no higher purpose in her continued living and ended her note by stating that her choice was inevitable, as she could see no clear path that would bring her purpose and meaning to her life.

In an earlier post entitled “Restored from Loneliness,” (https://fulllifeword.com/2018/06/20/restored-from-loneliness/) I quoted a news story posted on the WebMD website on a survey about loneliness in the United States. It concluded that our nation faces “widespread loneliness, with nearly half of Americans reporting they feel alone, isolated, or left out at least some of the time. The nation’s 75 million millennials (ages 23-27) and Generation Z adults (18-22) are lonelier than any other U.S. demographic.

In addition, of the 20,000 people sampled, 54% of respondents said they feel no one knows them well, and four in 10 reported they ‘lack companionship,’ their ‘relationships aren't meaningful’ and they ‘are isolated from others.’ (1)

I’m not about to simplify Nina’s case to simply being a case of just being lonely, no doubt her situation was much deeper than that, possibly involving undiagnosed clinical depression. As a writer, to suggest otherwise would be ignorant at best and completely irresponsible at most.

But the fact remains that our American society is facing an epidemic of loneliness despite our connected world. We are both lonely and without purpose in spite of being in the very presence of a God that loves us and desires to give us both a relationship and purpose in our lives. Yet he is a God that will not force himself upon us, he offers us a relationship and purpose, but to often we reject the notion of God out of hand.

I’ve often wondered, if we as human beings who choose to reject God’s love for us, if we eventually come to the realization that no matter how important we think our lives are, no matter how much stuff we have or how great a contribution we think we are making, that in the end, stacked against an eternal relationship with God, it all pales in comparison. It all becomes so much noise.

None of this represents any new thinking. One of the things I love about scriptures is that the Christian story comes packaged complete with warts wrinkles and all. It often recounts the thinking and reflections of the writers of the day. It captures their passion, their doubts, their faith and even their regrets.

It’s real stuff.

The Apostle Paul was one of the more prolific writers and one of the largest contributors to the New Testament. He wrote many letters about faith, life difficulties and so forth. Thankfully we still have the benefits of those letters after so many years.

In one letter, he wrote to one of the early churches in a town called Philippi, he was talking to them about how all the stuff of life means nothing in the absence of a relationship with Christ.

“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.” (, NIV)

In this passage, Paul uses the word “loss” multiple times. In the Greek language, in which his letter was written, the particular word used for “loss” was a word that suggested even more than loss, rather it had the overtones of the idea of “disadvantage.”

Prior to his choice to follow Christ, Paul had it all. He had recognition, wealth, the best education one might ask for. He had it all. Yet years later, in the eyes of his peers, he had given all that up to follow Christ. In this letter, Paul suggests that all of the “stuff of life” had actually become a disadvantage to the point of becoming harmful. This is not to suggest that the material blessings that God provides us with are in themselves harmful, rather the issue comes when our possessions, our wealth and even when our friends obscure and prevent us from having an eternal relationship with Christ. It is then that they become a harmful disadvantage.

In the grand scheme of life, having our eternity secured, death defeated, and receiving the all encompassing love and protection of God, clearly outweighs any amount of security we might find in this life, no matter our station. Paul captured the idea that for him his goal in living was a living relationship with Christ. Furthermore he believed that this relationship outweighed everything else that life could offer in the absence of Christ.

In 3:7 he says “for the sake of Christ.” It is here that Paul explicitly makes the statement where he is exchanging all of the stuff of this life for a life with Christ. In 3:8 he speaks of the “surpassing worth of knowing Christ.” Paul made it clear it’s value “surpassed” it all. Finally, he summarizes the complete exchange of his former life for eternal life with eternal purpose, when he said; “I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him,”

Paul looked forward with confidence when he shared that he would be seen as righteous when he would one day stand before Christ. He had no fear and knew that he could stand before God with confidence, because the righteousness that he had “comes from God on the basis of faith.”

Death was defeated.

Paul lived his life with absolute purpose. He saw himself as an ambassador (2 Corinthians 5:20 ) representing God in this life to all those held captive by sin and trapped in this life without hope or purpose. His life was like one long “thank you “ to Christ for the gift of eternal life, for Christ’s love, and to be able to express that love to others.

It saddens my heart when I read about so many of our young people that seem to have it all, yet at the core of their lives there exists a deep loneliness, their lives seem to be adrift with no greater purpose than the adoption of the next new piece of technology, or the joining of the next great cause. Neither of these are bad things, for there are great technologies and many wonderful and meaningful causes. But in the end, they find that both are temporary, neither provide the deep lifelong framework of eternal purpose that transcends all that we hold dear in our earthly lives.

She continued: “It’s the ultimate first world problem, I get it. I often felt detached while in a room full of my favorite people; I also felt absolutely nothing during what should have been the happiest and darkest times in my life. No single conversation or situation has led me to make this decision, so at what point do you metaphorically pull the trigger?”

========================== >>Notes<<=====================================

Note: This essay was based upon a real person and real events. Certain identifying facts, quotations, names etc. have been changed out of respect for those that were touched directly by Nina’s passing. My heart was deeply touched by her story. It’s a story that seems to resonate with so many people in these days, particularly the younger generation.

(1) Tate, Nick. “Loneliness Rivals Obesity, Smoking as Health Risk.” WebMD, WebMD, 4 May 2018, www.webmd.com/balance/news/20180504/loneliness-rivals-obesity-smoking-as-health-risk.

================================== News Article Excerpts ====================

San Francisco native Tara Condell, 27, was found dead with a cloth around her neck inside the bedroom of her home on West 10th Street around 4:30 p.m. Wednesday after police were called to the residence for a wellness check, sources said.

Condell — who, according to her website, is a registered dietitian nutritionist specializing in general nutrition, weight management, gastrointestinal disease and diabetes care — apologized to her mother at the end of the note posted to her site, saying, “I’m really sorry mama.”

Condell — who, according to her website, is a registered dietitian nutritionist specializing in general nutrition, weight management, gastrointestinal disease and diabetes care — apologized to her mother at the end of the note posted to her site, saying, “I’m really sorry mama.”

The young woman began the note — which was titled, “I Hate The Word ‘Bye,’ But See You Later Maybe?” — writing, “I have written this note several times in my head for over a decade, and this one finally feels right. No edits, no overthinking. I have accepted hope is nothing more than delayed disappointment, and I am just plain old-fashioned tired of feeling tired.”

“I realize I am undeserving of thinking this way because I truly have a great life on paper. I’m fortunate to eat meals most only imagine. I often travel freely without restriction. I live alone in the second greatest American city (San Francisco, you’ll always have my heart). However, all these facets seem trivial to me,” Condell wrote.

She continued: “It’s the ultimate first world problem, I get it. I often felt detached while in a room full of my favorite people; I also felt absolutely nothing during what should have been the happiest and darkest times in my life. No single conversation or situation has led me to make this decision, so at what point do you metaphorically pull the trigger?”

“It’s selfishly time for me to be happy and I know you can get down with that. Please try to remember me as a whole human you shared memories with and not just my final act. This is not your fault. It’s not exactly easy for me either, I’m here for you. I love you. I always have and I always will, I promise. Shikata ga’nai.”

[ Shikata ga nai (仕方がない) is a Japanese phrase and cultural concept. The phrase means "it cannot be helped" or "nothing can be done about it". Shikata ga nai implies a kind of hard work which is defined by Japanese culture. ]

“I’m coming home, Dad. Make some room up on that cloud and turn the Motown up.”

Before signing the note, “Always, TLC,” Condell wrote, “I’m really sorry mama.”

Condell listed her “favorite things in life” as “food, helping people, and science,” according to the bio.

“Tara realized nutrition was her calling after being the sole caretaker of a critically ill parent and seeing how nutrition interactions in the body play a huge role in health,” the bio reads.

Condell’s Instagram page is filled with photos of her dining around the world at locations including Vietnam, Peru, Italy, Mexico and Germany.