The Kingdom: Who's Your Jonathon?

Last week, we laid out the foundation of friendship and why it is important.

I asked you, “Are you a lonely Christian?”

An individual who follows Jesus but isn’t invested in His people.

Christians don’t live alone. They live in community.

Jesus commanded the disciples to “love one another” in .

“Apart from me, you can do nothing”

“Greater love is laying down ones life for a friend”

“Bear fruit”

The early church operated as a family more than an institution.

They lived in awe.

They shared with another.

The broke bread together.

Enjoyed the favor of the people

This is how we operate. We live as friends even though we are different. We see people with a kingdom mindset.

I struggle with this often. I allow my opinions and agenda to get in the way of God’s purpose and plan. When I focus on the carnal side of things, I’m unable to notice the blessings of people.

As Christians, we need friendship with many people. But we also need something else in friendship.

We need a DEEP friendship. The type of friendship that runs deeper than even the relationship we have with our parents or siblings.

The scriptures tell of the relationship of David and Jonathon. These men took friendship to the next level.

We can glean amazing truths of friendship by looking at their relationship.

Di

1 Samuel 18:1–4 NASB95

1 Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. 2 Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt.

1. Being different is no reason to cancel friendship. (v. 1)

David - Youngest son of Jesse

Chosen to be future king of Israel.

Deep love for God and His law.

Shepherd.

Killed lion and bear

Warrior

Killed Goliath in the sight of Israel.

Married

Wildly popular

Jonathon - Oldest son of Saul, King of Israel

Warrior

Prime heir to the throne of Saul

A few years older

A few years older than David.

Doomed as a leader through his fathers decisions.

David and Jonathons relationship was doomed from the beginning.

Culturally, Jonathan had been promised many places of authority because of his place in the royal bloodline of Saul.

Because his father had been disobedient to God, Jonathon would lose these privileges.

David did nothing wrong but be anointed by God. He didn’t jockey for position. He was faithful to God.

Alex Trejo was despised because he was a great football player.

Instead of doing the easy thing, Jonathon didn’t focus on the differences that he had with David. He did the exact opposite.

His soul was knit to David.

soul - ne-pes - life, breath, personality

The part of a person that thinks, feels, or desire.

knit - qsr - to tie or bind.

To become to attached to someone. To feel close to them.

Jonathon loved David. Why? Because Jonathon loved God and finally found someone that loved God just as much.

David was worth the relationship because Jonathon knew that aligning himself with him would make him a better man to follow God.

Differences were pointless compared to result of being Davids friend.

It is natural to find ourselves in relationships with people who live and act like we do.

It’s comfortable and it often doesn’t cost anything.

Kingdom relationships see above the peripheral. We don’t join with people for the sake of our comforts and the opinions of others.

We decide what matters most to us.

We look for people who see the kingdom of God as the most important and we fight to grow with them.

We look past our insecurities and opinions and attach ourself to people who love the Lord.

Differences don’t have to cancel friendship. We can use them as opportunities to look above the peripheral things and focus on what matters the most.

2. Deep friendships are ceremonial. (v. 3)

The Hebrew word for “covenant” means to make an agreement or develop a contract.

Contractual agreements happen between God and people but can also happen between people.

A contract require binding action.

Jonathon and David agreed to a covenant that made them brothers for life.

This idea was frequent in the near east.

Jonathan loved David as much as he loved himself.

It’s important that we understand that these men weren’t just declaring friendship in a “spend time having fun” kind of relationship.

This was much much more. This was a friendship that would cost both of them in their lives. A friendship that would alienate Jonathon from his father. They became devoted to one another.

A covenant is more than words. It’s agreeing to a promise. A promise to be there for one another through the thick and the thin. To love each other when there are good days and bad days.

What does this definition remind you of?

It’s a little awkward in our culture isn’t it?

Wayne Utley was and is my friend.

Are you willing to allow a person to be this close to you?

God orchestrates these types of friendships. He brings deep friendships into our lives. We ask Him to bless our marriages but do we feel the same way about our friendships?

Spouses, are we comfortable with our spouses having these relationships?

Don’t feel concerned when your spouse has a person of the same sex in their life that they confide in. This is healthy and this is biblical.

Friendships such as these can be so special that they need their own ceremony so that you can call it like it is.

People don’t accidently become this close to someone. We have ceremony for things that are much smaller. Don’t be ashamed of loving your friend.

3. Deep friendships are sacrificial. (v. 4)

As a sign and pledge of his friendship, Jonathon gave David his clothes and his armour.

outer coat.

This garment indicated his status as the kings son. It was given to the eldest son and heir to the throne. This is the highest honour that can be conferred on a subject.

Jonathon willingly gave David the status of leader in his eyes.

He gave up status for the sake of the kingdom.

There is nothing that he owned that was more than this.

This decision greatly affected Jonathons life. He would not be the leader that he was promised to be. In fact, this decision would ultimately cost him his life.

And yet, he did it willingly… Why?

Jonathon recognized that God’s blessing was on David as king and not him or his father Saul.

He loved God so much that he was willing to part with any earthly possession to honor him.

He was humble enough to know when it was time to take a step back.

Who do we as parents imagine when we are thinking of the kind of man we want our sons or daughters to be? We want our kids to be leaders like Moses and David, or strong like Samson, bold like Peter, wise like Mary, etc.

Who is the true man of this story?

David receiving the blessing of God or Jonathon having the integrity to welcome the blessing on to David?

When God provides a friend in your spiritual life, it’s not just for you to have and enjoy.

There is a kingdom purpose.

You might be called to be the David in the relationship, but you can also be called to be the Jonathon.

Behind every great leader, there are men who build them up.

You are one of two people here today.

Are you

You have deep relationship in your life that can be compared to David and Jonathon.

You need to make sure that this person knows that you feel this way about them.

Commemorate this friendship.

This person is worth a call/visit every week.

Don’t allow distance to break this.

Share with this person.

Invest in it and protect it from the enemy.

You don’t have this friend in your life.

Pray for the Lord to make you aware of someone in your life that can you can grow in friendship with.

Check you heart. (This is true once you have found this friend.) Are you relationally unwilling to let people this close to you?

Continue to grow closer to your true friend Jesus Christ.

Friendships are this important!

We can’t neglect this part of our lives. We need friends to go to war with.