The First Step

Do-Over

When God gives you a do-over what are you going to do with it?

Obviously, we want to finish well. This time we want to do it right when the last time we tried we did it wrong.

Each of the steps toward finishing right are important. But, the most important step you will take will be the first one.

When to take it.

What direction to go.

How fast to move.

When you take the first step you set the course and set the pace.

Many of our mistakes that lead to a need for a do-over come b/c we mess up the first step.

We start too soon, or too late.

We move the wrong direction, do the wrong thing, say the wrong words.

We move at the wrong pace. We might get the first two right but then move to fast and leave people in the dust. Or, move too slow and lose what momentum we had.

Israel had been down this path before. They got off course very early on and it let to their exile. Now, they are back with a chance to re-start and do it right.

Let’s not be too hard on them b/c who of us hasn’t needed and relished the opportunity for a re-start, a do-over?

Experience

Experience is invaluable. We make mistakes, hopefully we learn from them so when we get a do-over we don’t repeat them.

Each misstep is an opportunity to learn.

My career is littered w/ lessons I’ve learned written in my blood. They were painful.

I’m so thankful for the do-overs I’ve received.

Like the time the trustee board in Minot was considering buying a new computer. They wanted a PC b/c they did the budget and business. The staff wanted a Mac b/c we did the creative stuff.

I came into that meeting loaded for bear. I was well-prepared and going to win that case. No one would be able to refute any of the facts I was presenting.

When I wrapped up my presentation I thought I had done a pretty good job.

But, then, one of the trustees had to walk out of the room he was so mad at me. The others didn’t really know where to begin.

I had lost them from the beginning.

I was a 30-year old know it all.

I knew how to do my research. I knew exactly what the church needed. I knew how to solve every problem they had plus a few they didn’t.

I have a daughter who will be 30 in a few weeks. Sons 27 and 25. I look at them and think, was I really that naive and arrogant? Yea.

They ended up buying 2 computers and neither one was big enough to do what each party needed for it to do.

Next church I was invited into an elders meeting to talk about children’s SS.

I took the opportunity to inform them they had a problem. The church wasn’t attracting young families and at that rate the church couldn’t survive.

You’re the elders. You’ve got to fix this.

A short time later one of the elders slipped and called me chicken little. He admitted, after I was done that night they had decided I was more of a problem.

And, I was.

Was I right? Yes sort of. The church is long gone. I had seen a problem that needed to be addressed. It wasn’t.

A young start-up came along about 15 years ago and they gave them the building.

There was truth in what I was saying. But, it wasn’t “their” problem. It was our problem.

And, I over-reacted, over-stated my case and the issue to try to pressure them to do what I wanted them to do.

The bottom line was I had the opportunity to communicate something important to the board about needed change and I blew it.

I have had numerous opportunities to influence people for positive changes and have not handled many of them very well.

Lessons written in my blood.

We all have opportunities to influence people for change. Some are necessary. Some are just good ideas.

Many of us are members of boards of organizations and associations here in MP. Some of us are elected. Some of us are selected.

Some of us are members of social groups like card groups, Bunco, and other games.

We are church leaders and community leaders.

You may not be part of any of these, but all of us have families and friends whom we have opportunities from time to time to influence them to make positive changes.

That first conversation, that first statement or question, that starts the interaction will either start you down a path that leads to that positive change or it can set you back to where the change may never happen and the relationship can be severely damaged.

One of the main themes of the book of Nehemiah is influence. He demonstrates a number of characteristics that allow him to influence people to make positive changes.

These changes are for the individuals’ good, and also for the good of the nation.

It’s leadership. Leadership is influence. Whether it’s in the context of an organization like a church or community association; or in the context of your family, marriage, or circle or friends.

Last week, chapter one, described how Nehemiah started on his knees. He prayed first for God to lead him where He wanted him to go.

He would see where God was leading by how the king responded, so he prayed for that.

Now that he has prayed, it’s time to start the conversation w/ the people who will affect the necessary good changes.

So, when you get a do-over what are you going to do w/ it?

When Nehemiah got his assignment in Israel’s do-over, he had the opportunity to finish what Zerubabbel and Ezra started.

He needed a lot of help to get it done. It was well beyond him to do by himself.

They built the temple and brought the ppl back.

Nehemiah was called by God to finish by rebuilding the wall around the city so they were protected and could finish rebuilding all the homes and businesses in the city.

There are always a number of steps to finish what God calls us to do and they are all important. But, the most important step is the first one.

In order to finish right we have to start right.

Today we are in the last half of ch. 2. He has his assignment from God. He has the opportunity. Now, he need to get the people to buy in.

The first thing he has to do is prepare to present his idea to the people.

When facing a huge project or a difficult conversation we have to take time to prepare, think carefully, before we dare perform.

Preparation

Nehemiah 2:11–16 NIV

I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on. By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire. Then I moved on toward the Fountain Gate and the King’s Pool, but there was not enough room for my mount to get through; so I went up the valley by night, examining the wall. Finally, I turned back and reentered through the Valley Gate. The officials did not know where I had gone or what I was doing, because as yet I had said nothing to the Jews or the priests or nobles or officials or any others who would be doing the work.

He arrived in Jerusalem and waited 3 days.

To get settled?

Not to arouse suspicion?

He was in a royal position in Persia. Close to the king. The people might wonder why he was there. To spy on them?

The time wasn’t right for him to present his ideas so he wanted to keep a low profile.

If word got out too soon and the people figured out why he was really there, their reaction likely would have been,

“No way. We can’t do that.”

They were exiles, likely born and raised in Persia. They were poor, uneducated, and probably unskilled in building walls.

They were still trying to rebuild their lives, their businesses and farms. They didn’t have time for such a massive project.

He would have lost them before he ever got started.

He confided in just a few. Remember, his brother was one of those who came to Persia to tell him about the walls.

If you’re facing needing to influence a large group of ppl, start w/ a few that you trust to get input on your idea.

John Maxwell has written a number of leadership books. And in one of them he describes the importance of the meetings before the meeting.

Good leaders don’t have bad meetings. One way to avoid a bad meeting is by having as many meetings before the meeting you need to gain as much input as you can on your idea.

These meetings are not to build a support base so when you get to the presentation meeting you are loaded w/ both barrels to blow the other side away.

People will know when they’ve been railroaded and even if you present a great idea they won’t support it.

These meetings are to let people have input in your idea. They will help you see what you don’t. Offer improvements, push back, help you anticipate what opposition you will face.

Present your idea then say, “What do you think? What don’t you like about it? What do you like?” Then, shut up and listen.

They may even oppose it. Better to find out early. B/C if issues arise in these meetings that cannot be resolved then never have the presentation meeting when the decision will be made.

That’s how bad meetings don’t happen.

However, if all the issues have been addressed, then go into THE meeting and you will have support b/c you gave these ppl the opportunity to have input which led them to buy in.

They will improve on your idea. It may not be exactly the way you would have done it, but it will get done.

And, isn’t that the bottom line.

It will be a group-owned idea and you may not even have to be the one to do all the talking. They may do it for you.

An important part of the preparation are the meetings before the meeting.

So is a complete assessment of problem you’re planning to address.

Nehemiah and his friends went out to inspect the damage to the wall.

At night so as not to arouse suspicion.

The word Inspect is a medical term. A doctor performs a thorough examination in order to accurately diagnose the problem so she can appropriately treat it.

They assessed the damage. Did research. Planned the project. As they traveled around the wall no doubt they had ideas about who they could assign which tasks in which location (ch.3)

You think, maybe, the temptation for him to grab a couple of tools and get started himself right away would have been strong.

Don’t recruit anybody. Just do it yourself. It would be so much easier and you’d be more certain to get it done the way you want it done.

And, we think ppl will see us working and just join in hauling rocks and banging away at the lumber in the gate.

Like that ever works. No plan. Little preparation. Just try to perform. And, then we burn out. The project is too big, and no one has bought in and no one knows what exactly you’re trying to do.

There is no overall plan so the project likely moves in the wrong direction.

The temptation is to make the presentation or perform too quickly.

No one sees the preparation. And, when they don’t see anything happening they can assume nothing is.

But this is a very important process.

Likewise, activity does not equal productivity.

IOW, you can be very obviously busy and still get nothing done.

When you see ppl who seemingly perform effortlessly you can assume they didn’t have to prepare at all.

Quite the opposite. The more better work in preparation the easier the presentation looks.

I know some preachers who think that God is not involved the planning and preparation of the sermon like He is in the presentation.

Trust me, if God is not moving in the preparation, He won’t move in the presentation.

You guys don’t see me in my office Monday thru Wednesday wrestling w/ this and putting it together. If I do it right, you’ll get the impression Sundays come easy and I only work a couple of hours each week. Therefore, I’m way over paid.

When facing an important conversation, a big decision, a necessary change in direction and you need to get someone else to buy in and on board then take plenty of time to prepare.

Develop a plan. If it’s appropriate, give others the chance to have input in the plan.

Work quietly behind the scenes before you’re ready for your presentation.

But then, when you’re ready. Go. And hopefully your presentation will go as well as Nehemiah’s went.

Presentation

Nehemiah 2:17–18 NIV

Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.” I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me. They replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.

He had all the meetings before the meeting he had to have. He assessed the damage and developed a plan.

Then it came time to present the plan.

Notice right away it was “we” “us” “we”.

It was their ancestors who caused the problem and those who had already arrived in Jerusalem hadn’t solved it yet.

Technically, Nehemiah wasn’t part of the problem.

But, he didn’t say that. He included himself as part of the problem and part of the solution. He didn’t set himself apart as the lone savior. He communicated clearly that they were all in this together.

They were all responsible for the problem and they would all have to work together to solve it.

Anybody can say, “God told me to do this.”

And, use is like a club to beat people into joining them. After all, no one wants to be the one who isn’t on board w/ God.

How do you know if God has really told someone to do something that includes you?

How can you convince someone else that God has called you to do something that directly affects them?

Where else do you see God at work in their life?

If you don’t see God working anywhere. Or, if no one sees God working anywhere else in your life then maybe the statement is being used as a club.

Make sure you are following God elsewhere or no one is going to follow you here.

Nehemiah pointed out how the gracious hand of God was on him when he met w/ Artaxerxes. Just like God was w/ Zerubabbel and king Cyrus, Ezra and king Xerxes, and Esther and king Darius.

There will be similarities to how God is working in your life and others when you’re working in similar areas.

Make sure it’s happening in your life and look for God’s activity in the lives of those who are trying to influence you.

If you see it, or if they see it in you, you’ll get the same response Nehemiah got.

“Let’s get started.”

They couldn’t wait to get going.

Clearly, God was involved in his life before and in the preparation. And God moved ahead of him in the presentation, too.

Just like king Artaxerxes was ready to send him, the people were ready to start building b/c God led the way.

That said, just b/c God is moving doesn’t mean you won’t get people pushing back against you.

In most churches, if you’re going to vote on whether or not the sky is blue you’re going to get some no votes.

Inside, among those you’re trying to influence, and outside you will get opposition.

It’s a sure as the sky is blue.

Nehemiah did, too.

Opposition

Nehemiah 2:19–20 NIV

But when Sanballat the Horonite, Tobiah the Ammonite official and Geshem the Arab heard about it, they mocked and ridiculed us. “What is this you are doing?” they asked. “Are you rebelling against the king?” I answered them by saying, “The God of heaven will give us success. We his servants will start rebuilding, but as for you, you have no share in Jerusalem or any claim or historic right to it.”

They mocked him. That is, they repeated their criticism over and over again. There are those who seem to believe that if they say something often enough it will become true.

“The king would never let this happen” they said.

Do you remember that Nehemiah had requested letters from the king to these governors of the Trans-Euphrates.

In part of his preparation before meeting w/ the king he anticipated this and requested these letters from the king so everyone would know the king approved.

No one has all the good ideas and not all of anyone’s ideas are good.

Everyone who is doing anything has critics. You show me someone who has not critics and I’ll show you someone who isn’t doing anything.

Do you have critics?

In your family? at work? In this community?

Welcome to the club.

Anticipate as much as you can a prepare for it. Invite ppl to criticize your ideas and allow them to improve them.

If you’ve done your homework, you’ve prayed, planned, and prepared. You believe God is leading and ppl are buying in; then don’t let your critics paralyze you.

Let me tell you how I handle criticism.

First, I wait a couple of days. I let the emotion ebb out of my response. Never reply out of anger.

Next, I consider the critic and their criticism.

It’s one thing if it’s an elder or church leader who offers and criticism. But, it’s whole another thing if it’s someone outside the church.

And, what are they saying? I usually take it to 2 or 3 people I trust and say, “This is what I’m hearing, what do you think?”

They could say just ignore it. Or, they could say they think the critic is on to something and I need to make an adjustment.

If I do, then that means it will be a better idea and more people will buy in b/c they will know their input was included.

Nehemiah 2:

When you’re facing a tough conversation, a major adjustment in your family, a big project at work, or any major change in any org you’re part of, every step you take will be important.

But the first step will be the most important.

If you want to finish right then you have to start right.

We’d all do well to apply some of the principles Nehemiah demonstrated here in ch. 2.

Applications

Prepare

Pray and ask God for direction.

Don’t be afraid to honestly assess all the damage. Unless you inspect everything you won’t be able to fix it.

God needs to be just as involved in your preparation as He is in your presentation and performance.

We’ll pray for your surgery. Maybe we should also be praying for your diet and exercise.

We’ll pray for you and that conversation. We should also pray that you can honestly assess the damage you’ve caused so you’re ready for that conversation.

Meet

Give ppl the opportunity to speak into your life.

When you’re facing some of these things ask ppl you trust for input.

Tell them your idea. Ask them what they think. Then, shut up and listen. Take what they tell you and let it improve your idea.

Critics

Don’t let criticism paralyze you. Use it for all it’s worth.

Evaluate it and let it make you better.

Better decisions, better performance, better influence.

When you’re facing a tough conversation, a major adjustment in your family, a big project at work, or any major change in any org you’re part of, every step you take will be important.

In order to finish right we have to start right.

But the first step will be the most important.

If you want to finish right then you have to start right.